This was more of a late arriving photo than a current situation one. The rivers stream and bayous all have returned to their bank for the moment though several of the larger ones still remain pretty high (with in a foot or two of their banks). The exception being the Brazos River which is 7 feet over flood stage still but even it is slowly receding. Ozone Warnings have now replaced Flood Warnings (which ended Saturday morning at 6 AM) along with Severe Allergan Counts.
Additionally, Hurricane Season has started for us. The season officially began on June 1, 2015 and will end on November 30, 2015. Even before the season began we’ve had 2 named storms in the Pacific including Blanca who was at one time a Cat 4 and is now just Tropical Storm.
SO… since it’s a full issue wadda ya say… Oh! You’re asking for the reason for disclaimer sign? IT will become self evident once you reach today Parting Shot. I’ve been trying to steer away from them now for a while but I just got to riled up about something and that to blow off a little rant (and blood) pressure.
As I was saying..
HEY LOOK! Mrs. Dragon got her own Roseanne style cartoon!
Apps that drain your phone’s battery the most
Auto-boot apps are biggest offenders
NEW YORK (CNNMoney) – Smartphones are getting more powerful, but battery life hasn’t caught up to power all the apps we’re using.
U.S. smartphone users have about 30 apps on their smartphones, on average. But the most used apps — messaging, social media, and streaming entertainment — happen to be the biggest guzzlers of battery power, according to a new study of Android phones from AVG Technologies, an online security company.
Some of the worst offenders are apps that run automatically when a phone boots up, whether you open them or not. The biggest offenders in that category are Facebook, Kik, WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger and RetailMeNot. These apps are constantly running in the background, checking for updates and messages.
For apps that don’t start automatically, Amazon Kindle, Snapchat, LINE, Spotify, Netflix and Amazon Shopping give battery life the biggest beating — but only when you’re actively using them, unlike Facebook, which drains your battery whether you’re using it or not. Surprisingly, the Wal-Mart app is the top battery drainer among U.S. Android users in this category.
AVG’s study looked at mobile games separately because of the huge number of apps in this segment. It found that King’s Candy Crush Soda Saga, Candy Crush Saga, Clash of Clans, Crossy Road and Solitaire were the biggest power-suckers. [From first hand experience I can add a recent game that probably came out after the study called ‘1010’ to this list.- L.L.]
To conserve battery life, AVG offered a few tips: limit push notifications, reduce frequency of refreshes, turn off connectivity (Wi-Fi, Bluetooth, GPS) when not in use, dim brightness, and disable background location tracking. Again from first hand experience, NFC or Near Field Communication, (the thing that allows for ‘beaming files between phones & tablets as well as using you phone to pay for purchases) eats up a phenomenal amount of power, even when not in use, because its always looking to other devices to talk to. If you’re not using the card wallet function to pay with your phone or constantly beaming things to other phones or tablets, then shut it off. Not only will this save a lot of battery life but it makes your phone more secure against snoopers and hackers.
The study examined data from over one million AVG AntiVirus Android app users worldwide during the first three months of 2015. AVG excluded from its study apps with less than 1 million downloads on Google Play and core system apps.
- Copyright 2015 by CNN NewSource.
I use an App called CM Security which will kill power suckers when you shut off your screen in addition to a host of other handy security functions like scanning for viruses and removing junk files.
Another easy way to get more battery life is to clear all your tabs if your smart phone uses tabbed windows before shutting off your screen. While this doesn’t kill those power suckers spoken about above it does kill any you’ve opened that would otherwise be left running in the background while phone was in your pocket.
THE CHICKEN GUN
The true story of the Chicken Gun. Too funny not to share! Sometimes it does take a rocket scientist!
Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch standard 4 pound dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.
British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers.
When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control, console, snapped the engineer’s back-rest in two, and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow…
The horrified Brits, sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the US scientists for suggestions…
NASA responded with a one-line memo…. “Defrost the chicken” (unproven likely NOT true story)
Just a little practice run for one of the carving stations for the Independence Day celebration
I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised with how easy this was to whip up! Just cream together a lil butter, sugar, and orange zest, throw in a couple eggs, flour, baking powder, and of course WINE, and you are done! Just pour it into your cake pan, and you are well on your way. The food coloring is required to prevent the batter from being beige despite the 3/4 cup of red wine. If food coloring isn’t your thing, feel free to leave it out.
The batter will be pretty runny when you’re done, but trust me when I say that’s how it should be! The finished product is a soft, moist, melt-in-your-mouth cake with an orange flavor and a wine aftertaste. Then topped the whole thing with a simple, 5-minute orange zest buttercream. The combination of the rich cake and the sugary, fluffy frosting is a match made in heaven!
Serves: 8 servings
*for the cake*
- 1 stick + 6 tbsp unsalted butter, softened
- 1 cup granulated sugar
- zest of ½ orange
- 2 eggs
- 1½ cups all purpose flour
- 1 tsp baking powder
- ¾ cup sangria wine
- red and purple food coloring, if desired
*for the frosting*
- 4 tbsp unsalted butter, softened
- zest of ½ orange
- 1 cup powdered sugar
- 2-3 tbsp heavy cream
- pinch of salt
- 1 orange, sliced, for garnish
- Preheat the oven to 350F. Butter and flour an 8-inch cake pan, and set aside.
- In the bowl of a stand mixer, beat the butter, granulated sugar, and orange zest until light and fluffy.
- Add in the eggs, one at a time, beating well between additions.
- Add in the flour and baking powder, mixing until just combined.
- Add in the sangria, and mix until incorporated. If desired, add in a couple of drops of red and purple food coloring to reach your ideal color.
- Pour the batter in the prepared pan, and bake for 20 minutes, then cover the pan with foil, and bake for 10 minutes longer.
- When cake is ready, remove from oven and let cool completely before frosting.
- When ready to frost, beat together the butter, zest, salt, and powdered sugar until creamy.
- Mixture should be very thick, so add in the heavy cream, a little at a time, until you reach your desired consistency. Spread the frosting on the cake, and top with the orange slices.
- Serve immediately, and store leftovers in the fridge. Enjoy!
No Bake Strawberry Lemon Cookie Pie
2 cups graham cracker crumbs
3/4 cup butter, melted
1 1/2 15.25 oz packages lemon cream cookies (I used lemon Oreos)
1 cup milk
8 oz cool whip
16 oz carton strawberries
1. Grease a 9 inch pie pan.
2. Combine graham cracker crumbs and melted butter. Press into the bottom and up the sides of the greased pie pan.
3. Put milk into a small bowl that will allow for dipping the cookies.
4. Dunk cookies, one at a time, and add to the pie pan to make a single layer of cookies on the bottom of the crust. I needed just more than half of one package for the first layer.
5. Add half of the Cool Whip and spread evenly over the cookies.
6. Slice about half of the strawberries and make a single layer of strawberries on top of the Cool Whip.
7. Dunk more cookies, one at a time, and add to the pie pan to make a second layer of cookies on top of the strawberries.
8. Add remaining Cool Whip and spread evenly over the cookies.
9. Slice remaining strawberries and spread on the top of the pie.
10. Add cookie crumbs or graham cracker crumbs on top to finish it off, if desired.
11. Cover and chill for about 8 hours before serving.
No-Bake Banana Split Icebox Cake
Yield: 10 servings
3 cups plain low-fat Greek yogurt
2 1/2 tablespoons agave nectar
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla
1 cup (1/2 pint) heavy cream
2 teaspoons lemon juice
20 whole graham crackers
2 cups fresh pineapple chunks, finely chopped
1 cup sliced strawberries (about 7 medium strawberries)
1/4 cup chopped walnuts
1/4 cup dark chocolate chips
1 1/4 teaspoons coconut oil
In a large mixing bowl, mix together Greek yogurt, agave nectar and vanilla.
In a separate medium bowl, use a hand mixer to whip heavy cream until stiff peaks form.
Gently fold whipped cream into the yogurt mixture.
Slice bananas and toss with lemon juice to avoid browning.
On a platter or a 9-by-13-inch baking pan, layer 5 graham crackers*, side by side. Spread 1 cup of yogurt mixture evenly over crackers, then layer one-third of the banana slices and pineapple on top. Repeat layers 2 more times. Top last layer of graham crackers (there will be 4 layers of graham crackers) with the remaining yogurt mixture, sliced strawberries and crushed walnuts.
In a small saucepan, melt chocolate chips and coconut oil over low heat. Drizzle over the top of the cake.
Let sit in the refrigerator overnight or for at least 4 hours, or until graham crackers have softened.
*Note: Spread a thin layer of the yogurt mixture on the pan to help keep the first layer of graham crackers in place.
Per serving: Calories 400; Fat 19 g (Saturated 9 g); Cholesterol 35 mg; Sodium 180 mg; Carbohydrate 51 g; Fiber 3 g; Sugars 27 g; Protein 10 g; Vitamin A 8% DV; Vitamin C 50% DV; Calcium 20% DV; Iron 10% DV
Washington State and Colorado recently passed two laws:
They legalized gay marriage and legalized marijuana. The fact that gay
marriage and marijuana were legalized on the same day makes perfect
Leviticus 20:13 says: “If a man lies with another man they should be stoned.”
Apparently we just hadn’t interpreted it correctly before!
Cancer is No Excuse: Rose McGrath was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia, and started a long, difficult fight against the disease. After lengthy treatment, she’s now recovering. “Even though she’s now done with her treatment you still have a very long recovery process because you’ve basically just put two and a half years of poison into your body,” says Rose’s mother Barbara McGrath. “You’re not recovering overnight.” Despite only attending St. Joseph Middle School in Battle Creek, Mich., for 32 days this year, 12-year-old Rose is on track to pass her core classes. The school, however, sent a letter dismissing her due to attendance and academic performance issues, despite accommodations for her medical problems. “These were extraordinary circumstances,” said a Fr. John Fleckenstein of Battle Creek Area Catholic Schools, “but so many accommodations were made we felt eventually it became a point where we really had to help Rose, by being able to make sure that she was getting the assistance that she needed and to learn.” After a massive public uproar over the dismissal, the school invited Rose back, but Barbara is putting her in public school instead. (MS/WWMT Kalamazoo) …Maybe an English teacher can assist school officials with the meaning of the word “help.”
Extracurricular Activity: North Palm Beach, Fla., police responded to a report of a suspicious vehicle parked behind Mavericks High School, which is for “at-risk” students. When they arrived, Krista Morton, 45, told officers everything was OK, she was “just friends” with the other occupant of the vehicle in the back seat with her, an 18-year-old who she had picked up off the street because she “wanted to get to know him.” But he said no, he was a student at the school — and Morton was his principal. Officers observed that Morton’s shirt was unbuttoned enough that she was “exposing her shoulders and part of her chest,” and they smelled marijuana. Morton allegedly admitted that “marijuana had been smoked” in the car and, when marijuana was found on the seat, both occupants were arrested on drug charges. Morton was released quickly, but the boy was held because he was unable to post bail. (RC/South Florida Sun Sentinel) …Yep, he was at-risk all right.
Shake Your Contraband: “What exactly has been going on” at Serrano Middle School, asked Anita Wilson-Pringle, “because surely these two kids are not the first?” It wasn’t even the first time for her, her daughter told her — having to take off her jacket and shirt, pull off her bra, and shake her breasts for officials at the Highland, Calif., school. She and a friend, ages 13 and 15, had to put on the same display, Wilson-Pringle said; one protested and was allegedly told refusing could get her arrested. One of the officials watching was a man, Wilson-Pringle said. Pot was found in her daughter’s bag, but she denied owning it, and her mother said the bag was left unattended for 40 minutes. The girl got a ticket, a court date, and a way out of the school: her mother, who posted online about the incident and says she’s considering a lawsuit, said her daughter will now be home-schooled to avoid retaliation. A district spokeswoman said, “Our number one priority is to keep students safe and create an environment that is free from weapons and drugs.” (AC/San Bernardino Sun, KTLA Los Angeles) …Why is it so often the people who want to “keep students safe” are the people students need to be kept safe from?
Only if they’re…naaah….too easy
“Managing senior programmers is like herding cats.”- Dave Platt
“Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.”
– Jeff Valdez
“There is no snooze button for a cat that wants breakfast.”-Anonymous
“Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.” – Anonymous
“In a cat’s eye, all things belong to cats.” – English proverb
“As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.” – Ellen Perry Berkeley
“One cat just leads to another.” – Ernest Hemingway
“Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.” – Mary Bly
“Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.” – Joseph Wood Krutch
“People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life.” – Faith Resnick
“I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.” – Hippolyte Taine
“There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats.”
“There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.”
– Albert Schweitzer
“The cat has too much spirit to have no heart.” – Ernest Menaul
“No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me.”
“Time spent with cats is never wasted.” – Colette
“Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well.” – Missy Dizick
“You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats.”
– Colonial American proverb
“Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want.”
– Joseph Wood Krutch
“Cats aren’t clean, they’re just covered with cat spit.” – John S. Nichols
“The smallest feline is a masterpiece.” — Leonardo Da Vinci
“Cat’s motto: No matter what you’ve done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.” — Anonymous
“Women and cats will do as they please; men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”– Robert A. Heinlein
Gabriel Iglesias – Bank Robbery by Indians
Student sues school for banning sign supporting Second Amendment
By Rick Moran
A student at Blinn College in Texas is suing the school for banning the display of a sign in a public space at the school supporting the Second Amendment.
Nicole Sanders, along with another student, were outside the student center holding signs when they were approached by a school official who said that there had been a complaint that the sign was “offensive.” and that they would need “special permission” in the future to display them. The other sign was simply marked “LOL” with the “O” being the Obama logo.
Sanders claims a college official accompanied by three armed campus police officers approached and said someone had complained that their display was offensive and that they wouldn’t be allowed to do it again unless they got “special permission.” According to Sanders, the official added that it was unlikely such permission would be granted to advocate for gun rights.
“When you have to get a permit before you can speak, it shuts down ideas – everything gets censored through the administrators,” Sanders, who is studying political science, told FoxNews.com. “It’s unconstitutional for a public university to limit speech to one area of campus. I think that college should be a marketplace of ideas.”
There was an option, Sanders says she was told. She and her classmate, Chris Bradford, who is not part of the suit, could display their signs at a “free speech area” off to the side of the campus center, roughly the size of two parking spaces, where few would see her.
You only get so many people there,” Sanders told FoxNews.com.
Her lawsuit, which is being filed in federal court in Austin with the help of the Foundation for Individual Rights in Education (FIRE), also alleges that her ceramics professor, David Peck, tried to intimidate her into not suing the school. The suit alleges that he warned her that he would “protect me and mine” from accusations against Blinn College and that Sanders “better think” before taking further action.
As is usually the case in these matters of free expression on campus, school officials who were caught red handed in egregiously violating the Constitutional rights of a student began to backtrack:
“We certainly will take this opportunity to evaluate our policies as they are written and as they are applied by faculty and staff,” Tilley said. “We will evaluate whether any misunderstandings may have occurred. Because of our commitment to our students and to the law, we are confident that we will be able to resolve any concerns that have been raised.”
Tilley said the school has a policy not to discriminate based on politics, but that it can have reasonable restrictions to ensure order.
“Blinn College is allowed to implement what the courts call “time, place and manner” regulations to ensure that the operations of the college, including classes in session, are not disrupted,” he said.
First Amendment legal experts say Sanders has a strong case if they can show other types of speech were permitted in the same area.
“If they can prove that they were specially denied because they were for gun rights, then it would be unconstitutional viewpoint discrimination,” Eugene Volokh, a law professor at UCLA who specializes in the First Amendment, told FoxNews.com.
He added that it also was unconstitutional in another way.
“On government property, even in an airport outside the security cordon, bans on leafleting and other ‘low footprint’ speech would be unconstitutional,” he said.
Volokh blames the “bureaucratic mindset” of school officials but it goes far beyond that. This is a transparent attempt to control how individuals think, giving freedom to those who express viewpoints that liberals agree with while cracking down on anyone who dissents. The idea that campus officials weren’t aware they were violating the Constitution is absurd. The point is, they didn’t care.
“When you have to get permit before you can speak, it shuts down ideas.”
– Nicole Sanders, Blinn College student
For every Nicole Sanders there are probably a few dozen other students across the country whose First Amendment rights are trampled on regularly by liberal college officials. Only when they’re caught and publicly shamed do these anti-free speech Nazis change their tune.
Just before Memorial Day Impish usurped that story about the kid with the flags in the back of his pick up. One of the points I was going to make about that story was how the principal in his flip flopping around to justify his actions mentioned being concerned about someone possibly being offended by the kids mobile Patriotic display.
I tried to make my point without actually ranting about it when I published the new Preamble to the Constitution listing the Rights that Americans, as well as those living in America, do not have. I’m speaking specifically of these two Articles:
You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone — not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of dummies, and probably always will be.
You do not have the right to change our country’s history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, sorry if you are uncomfortable with it.
Liberal Educators will take the easy Rodney King way of appeasement out of every situation as opposed to the harder teachable moment when confronted with some non American whining about how they are offended by our displays of Patriotism and Heritage IN OUR OWN DAMMED COUNTRY!
Since these alleged ‘Educators & Administrators’ apparently need an education in the rights of citizen versus Resident &/or Illegal Aliens let me help them to bloody hell out by straightening the whiners out. Pay attention ‘Educators there will be a test.
Hey you whiners Student Visa Vermin, Resident Aliens without the sense of Patriotism to try and change what ever the hell it was that drove you to my country in your and you free loading Illegals with any regard for my country’s sovereignty LISTEN THE HELL UP!
This country belongs to AMERICAN CITIZENS not you bent on turning it into a parody of your third world shitholes which you crawled, swam, boated and slunk away from in the night! Don’t go waving those Naturalization citizenship papers at me all you transplants either! The vast majority totally lied when you took your citizenship oaths.
“I hereby declare, on oath, that I absolutely and entirely renounce and abjure all allegiance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate, state, or sovereignty, of whom or which I have heretofore been a subject or citizen; that I will support and defend the Constitution and laws of the United States of America against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I will bear arms on behalf of the United States when required by the law; that I will perform noncombatant service in the Armed Forces of the United States when required by the law; that I will perform work of national importance under civilian direction when required by the law; and that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; so help me God.”
Notice the yellow highlighted text. Every time you protest or complain that a show of Patriotism, our Country’s History or heritage offends you you violate this section of the oath.
Every time you take to the streets protected by our free speech laws and agitate or celebrate the bombing of an American Embassy, the killing of Americans or any other anti American action you violate the first section of red highlighted text.
Many of you had every intention of doing so prior to becoming citizen regardless of if your are affiliated with any terrorist organization or not, seeking not to actually become and American and meld but to form insular groups of dissention and agitation which is a clear violation of the second section of red highlighted text.
Were this any country other than the United States you would suffer varying degrees on severe punishment for this sort of subversive attitude behavior and repeated activity.
Personally I think its well past time that the US wake up and realize our ‘enlightened laws’ are being used against us by you. We need to realize there is a dammed good reason why on other country has followed our ‘shining example’ with regard to this issues and change our attitudes and laws, patterning them with regard to immigration, obtaining citizenship and comportment of non citizens while within the US on the laws of all the other nations of the world.
As far as educators who side with those who find our pride in being American in America offensive, the the Texas Principal who made American kids who wore Shirts with American Flags on them wear them inside out because the wore them top school on Cinco de Mayo because it was ‘offending’ the Mexican students, the vast majority of whom were anchor babies and refused to speak or learn English while demonstrating clear alliance not to the country they were born in and that was footing the bill for their education and healthcare but to Mexico_ they need to be removed from their jobs pending retraining and recertification, or sent packing with those they sided with over US citizens back to what ever shithole they originated from!
American was founded on the principle of being a melting/melding pot yes but that means you join and melt/meld with us and our culture and you adapt to our values, beliefs and customs not that we adapt and service yours at our expense.
What a pleasant surprise to find another issue of Dragon Laffs. Lethal, take deep breaths, don’t let the “BASTIDS” get to you. Molly needs her man, not stroked out in the hospital from defending the 2nd Amendment. This is our country and WTF dial #1 for English, I agree if you want to live in our country, speak English and live the rules of the land. Wow, wonderful desserts for the upcoming 4th of July holiday. I have to say it left me stubbling with my cane from my weak knees
syndrome when seeing your wonderful dessert recipes. Hey, have a good week and thanks for all the pleasant surprises.
WordPress has been giving me some issues this weekend. That issue was uploaded to psot Wednesday at 00:00.
Why the hell it chose now to post it is beyond me. You folks will all just have to wait for Wednesday to see it.