D.R.A.G.O.N. Application For Employment–Diaman


 

 

Dragon #1

 

D.R.A.G.O.N. Application For Employment

A Dragon Laffs and Leprechaun Laughs Enterprises Subsidiary Company
100 Dragon Mountain Road
Mythological Realm and United Mythological Creatures Embassies Mall

We are an Equal Opportunity Employer and fully subscribe to the principles of Equal Employment Opportunity.  Applicants and/or employees are considered for hire, promotion and job status, without regard to race, color, religion, creed, sex, marital status, national origin, age, physical appearance, mythological status, realm of origin, deity worshiped, size or magical weapon.

Name: Diaman  Family Name: Shee Nick Name:  Di  the Dazzling

Address: Lethal’s Lap  Realm:  Astral Celtic & Mundane  City: Where ever the shopping is good.

Primary Means of Communication: 1Cell Phone  1Carrier Pigeon  1Smoke Signals  1USPS  XXX Telepathy
1Other (Please Specify) ___Email Babyisdatotalpackage@wowzers.com


1. General Information:
Are you able to perform the essential job functions of the position for which you are applying with or without reasonable accommodation?  X Yes  1No  If no, turn in application at this time and leave quietly.

Have you ever done anything that was considered a felony (or equivalent to your realm)?  X Yes  1No
If no, turn in application at this time and leave quietly.

Have you ever been convicted of any felony (or equivalent to your realm) in the past 7 years?
X No  If yes, turn in application at this time and leave quietly.

Do you consider yourself any of the following: Liberal, Leftist, Obamaite, Hillarian, Hard Core Democrat? HOW RUDE! Are YOU an agent of A.S.S.? Well neither an I!
If you answered yes to any of the above, please put down your writing utensil and accompany the security personnel who will escort you to level six for a more in-depth and personal interview.

List next of kin here: The Banshees (sisters) or Lethal Leprechaun (Sugar Daddy)


2. Education, Skills & Training:

Please list last Guild Training Academy Attended: Mata Hari’s Finishing School for Ladies 

Skill Level: Graduated top of class (I killed the Valedictorian and took her place)

Please list Specialized Training:  (Use additional sheet if necessary)

  • Pillow Talk & Interrogation
  • Mesmerizing massage
  • Weaponization of Feminine Wiles
  • Assassination with Hair &/or Fashion Accessories
  • Seduction
  • Personal Assistant
  • Gun Molly
  • Marksmanship Pistol
  • Gossip Mongering & Blackmail

________________________________________________________________________________

Weapons Specialization: (Use additional sheet if necessary)  

  1. Pistols with hollow point bullets
  2. Hair &/or Fashion Accessories- in my hands stiletto heals are more than a type name.
  3. Feminine Wiles
  4. Asphyxiation via use of my Female assets
  5. Killing with Creativity

________________________________________________________________________________

Innate Abilities due to race, creature status, etc: (i.e. Dragon Breath, Vampire Glamour, Basilisk Gaze, etc.)

  1. Enslave/Beguile Males of almost any race.
  2. Fuel muses,
  3. Appear properly attired in just a strand of pearls and heels
  4. I can kill your credit line faster than a sock market crash
  5. Cause accidents and heart attacks just walking down the street in a LBD and heels
  6. Speak with Fae, lesser Fairies and Human (as well as in some cases Mythical) spirits

Any additional skills or education that you feel would help you in attaining the position to which you are applying?  Please feel free to list any and all additional talents you think might help us in our decision making process: 

  • 15 yrs. with the Sheriff – San Diego
  • Discovered and documented 15 additional positions not depicted in the Kama Sutra.
  • Was the inspiration for the fictional character of Miss Emma Peel in the BBC original ‘The Avengers Series’
  • I make Gossamer and Silk look hot
  • When walking my swiveling hips and gentle rolling backside have been described as ‘living Viagra’
  • I do have most of the members West Coast stationed SEAL Teams in my thrall

I could tell you more but then a girl simply must have her secrets mustn’t she?


3. Personal Information:  Disclaimer: positions and employment will not be denied due to answers in this section, but due to the specialization of many of the positions here at D.R.A.G.O.N. it must be understood that some personal information must be asked:

Type of Magical Creature or Mythological Persona: Leanhaun Shee

Any mixed breeding (such as half-elf, half-kobold, gnomish ogre, etc) No Mongrel here!

Any special heritage (Son of Thor, Child of Superman and Poison Ivy, Last living specimen, etc) We are extremely rare, long lived & sexually frustrated as our artistically talented lovers all die tragically young and usually in our arms.

For Dragons only, please list color and alignment: I prefer my Dragons Blue and I don’t care how he aligns it when I’m not using it.

For Dark Elves (Drow) only, Are you a friend of or related to Do’Urden:  1Yes  XNo 1Who? If who is checked, please turn in your application and leave quietly and quickly, with your head down and without looking any other individual in the eye. He hasn’t had the pleasure of meeting me as yet.

Any other creature or description: Sister to the Banshees

Special Note: If you are unable to fill out any of the boxes in this section, then you are obviously non-magical/mythical.  If you believe you can fulfill one of the very few pure human occupations (i.e. unbelievably sexy, overwhelmingly busty or endowed, technology geek of unheard of talent) please report to the attendant your belief and if she agrees, you will be sent to the office of Mr. Leprechaun who will conduct a private interview.


Position Applying For:  Supervisor of all things mythical  & or naughty.     

If unknown check here 1 turn in application and leave quietly.  If you don’t know why you’re here, you’re obviously in the wrong place.

Salary Expected:  A Dragon Hoard’s worth.  (hourly, [weekly], monthly, salary, per job)  It doesn’t matter, we’ll tell you what you will be paid and you will be duly compensated.

Hours Available: XX Any and all hours  1Any other answer (please turn in your application and leave quietly) I just need 20 minutes notice so I can look my best


I do solemnly swear, under penalty of level 6, that all the above statements are true and have been made of my own free will, without reservation or coercion of any kind.  I also attest that I have not been given any assumptions of employment and no promises have been made to me.  I promise I am not a liberal democrat, welfare scumbag capable of working, just not bothering to or any other horrendous type person such as anti-police, anti-military and that I don’t believe I am entitled to anything from any person or government entity that I haven’t, myself worked for. So help me Brighid & Branwen  (Fill in deity’s name here)

Signature, Mark or Chop Here:  D.M.

Insert Finger, Paw or Talon Print Here: %%%%        _____________________________

Insert Drop of Blood Here: ___######_____________________________________

About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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4 Responses to D.R.A.G.O.N. Application For Employment–Diaman

  1. PAUL says:

    GREAT JOB TO BOTH GINNY AND DIAMAN

  2. Ginny says:

    GIRLFRIEND, you truly should take a bow with your application. Loved it!

  3. Maggie says:

    ah,, if only I could be as brilliant as D

    • impishdragon says:

      My dear Irish Lass…
      Maggie dear, you are quite as talented as anyone else on the net. Feel free to let your artistic and irascible side out to wonder the mythical forest in search of the golden thingamabob to bring back to the royal…ah…somebody…
      Where was I?

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