D.R.A.G.O.N. Application For Employment
A Dragon Laffs and Leprechaun Laughs Enterprises Subsidiary Company
100 Dragon Mountain Road
Mythological Realm and United Mythological Creatures Embassies Mall
We are an Equal Opportunity Employer and fully subscribe to the principles of Equal Employment Opportunity. Applicants and/or employees are considered for hire, promotion and job status, without regard to race, color, religion, creed, sex, marital status, national origin, age, physical appearance, mythological status, realm of origin, deity worshiped, size or magical weapon.
Name: Diaman Family Name: Shee Nick Name: Di the Dazzling
Address: Lethal’s Lap Realm: Astral Celtic & Mundane City: Where ever the shopping is good.
Primary Means of Communication: 1Cell Phone 1Carrier Pigeon 1Smoke Signals 1USPS XXX Telepathy
1Other (Please Specify) ___Email Babyisdatotalpackage@wowzers.com
1. General Information:
Are you able to perform the essential job functions of the position for which you are applying with or without reasonable accommodation? X Yes 1No If no, turn in application at this time and leave quietly.
Have you ever done anything that was considered a felony (or equivalent to your realm)? X Yes 1No
If no, turn in application at this time and leave quietly.
Have you ever been convicted of any felony (or equivalent to your realm) in the past 7 years?
X No If yes, turn in application at this time and leave quietly.
Do you consider yourself any of the following: Liberal, Leftist, Obamaite, Hillarian, Hard Core Democrat? HOW RUDE! Are YOU an agent of A.S.S.? Well neither an I!
If you answered yes to any of the above, please put down your writing utensil and accompany the security personnel who will escort you to level six for a more in-depth and personal interview.
List next of kin here: The Banshees (sisters) or Lethal Leprechaun (Sugar Daddy)
2. Education, Skills & Training:
Please list last Guild Training Academy Attended: Mata Hari’s Finishing School for Ladies
Skill Level: Graduated top of class (I killed the Valedictorian and took her place)
Please list Specialized Training: (Use additional sheet if necessary)
- Pillow Talk & Interrogation
- Mesmerizing massage
- Weaponization of Feminine Wiles
- Assassination with Hair &/or Fashion Accessories
- Personal Assistant
- Gun Molly
- Marksmanship Pistol
- Gossip Mongering & Blackmail
Weapons Specialization: (Use additional sheet if necessary)
- Pistols with hollow point bullets
- Hair &/or Fashion Accessories- in my hands stiletto heals are more than a type name.
- Feminine Wiles
- Asphyxiation via use of my Female assets
- Killing with Creativity
Innate Abilities due to race, creature status, etc: (i.e. Dragon Breath, Vampire Glamour, Basilisk Gaze, etc.)
- Enslave/Beguile Males of almost any race.
- Fuel muses,
- Appear properly attired in just a strand of pearls and heels
- I can kill your credit line faster than a sock market crash
- Cause accidents and heart attacks just walking down the street in a LBD and heels
- Speak with Fae, lesser Fairies and Human (as well as in some cases Mythical) spirits
Any additional skills or education that you feel would help you in attaining the position to which you are applying? Please feel free to list any and all additional talents you think might help us in our decision making process:
- 15 yrs. with the Sheriff – San Diego
- Discovered and documented 15 additional positions not depicted in the Kama Sutra.
- Was the inspiration for the fictional character of Miss Emma Peel in the BBC original ‘The Avengers Series’
- I make Gossamer and Silk look hot
- When walking my swiveling hips and gentle rolling backside have been described as ‘living Viagra’
- I do have most of the members West Coast stationed SEAL Teams in my thrall
I could tell you more but then a girl simply must have her secrets mustn’t she?
3. Personal Information: Disclaimer: positions and employment will not be denied due to answers in this section, but due to the specialization of many of the positions here at D.R.A.G.O.N. it must be understood that some personal information must be asked:
Type of Magical Creature or Mythological Persona: Leanhaun Shee
Any mixed breeding (such as half-elf, half-kobold, gnomish ogre, etc) No Mongrel here!
Any special heritage (Son of Thor, Child of Superman and Poison Ivy, Last living specimen, etc) We are extremely rare, long lived & sexually frustrated as our artistically talented lovers all die tragically young and usually in our arms.
For Dragons only, please list color and alignment: I prefer my Dragons Blue and I don’t care how he aligns it when I’m not using it.
For Dark Elves (Drow) only, Are you a friend of or related to Do’Urden: 1Yes XNo 1Who? If who is checked, please turn in your application and leave quietly and quickly, with your head down and without looking any other individual in the eye. He hasn’t had the pleasure of meeting me as yet.
Any other creature or description: Sister to the Banshees
Special Note: If you are unable to fill out any of the boxes in this section, then you are obviously non-magical/mythical. If you believe you can fulfill one of the very few pure human occupations (i.e. unbelievably sexy, overwhelmingly busty or endowed, technology geek of unheard of talent) please report to the attendant your belief and if she agrees, you will be sent to the office of Mr. Leprechaun who will conduct a private interview.
Position Applying For: Supervisor of all things mythical & or naughty.
If unknown check here 1 turn in application and leave quietly. If you don’t know why you’re here, you’re obviously in the wrong place.
Salary Expected: A Dragon Hoard’s worth. (hourly, [weekly], monthly, salary, per job) It doesn’t matter, we’ll tell you what you will be paid and you will be duly compensated.
Hours Available: XX Any and all hours 1Any other answer (please turn in your application and leave quietly) I just need 20 minutes notice so I can look my best
I do solemnly swear, under penalty of level 6, that all the above statements are true and have been made of my own free will, without reservation or coercion of any kind. I also attest that I have not been given any assumptions of employment and no promises have been made to me. I promise I am not a liberal democrat, welfare scumbag capable of working, just not bothering to or any other horrendous type person such as anti-police, anti-military and that I don’t believe I am entitled to anything from any person or government entity that I haven’t, myself worked for. So help me Brighid & Branwen (Fill in deity’s name here)
Signature, Mark or Chop Here: D.M.
Insert Finger, Paw or Talon Print Here: %%%% _____________________________
Insert Drop of Blood Here: ___######_____________________________________