Our own Jersey Girl has added her application to the pile. And in the spirit of openness and clarity, we present it here:
D.R.A.G.O.N. Application For Employment
A Dragon Laffs and Leprechaun Laffs Enterprises Subsidiary Company
100 Dragon Mountain Road, Mythological Realm and United Mythological Creatures Nations
We are an Equal Opportunity Employer and fully subscribe to the principles of Equal Employment Opportunity. Applicants and/or employees are considered for hire, promotion and job status, without regard to race, color, religion, creed, sex, marital status, national origin, age, physical appearance, mythological status, realm of origin, deity worshiped, size or magical weapon.
Name: GINNY Family Name: JERSEY GIRL Nick Name: ANGELWINGS
Address: HEAVEN Realm: FRONT SEAT City: CLOUD NINE
Primary Means of Communication: 1Cell Phone 1Carrier Pigeon 1Smoke Signals 1USPS 1Telepathy
Other (Please Specify) ………. MAGIC BOX that holds all my friends and family AKA Dell Lap Top
1. General Information:
Are you able to perform the essential job functions of the position for which you are applying with or without reasonable accommodation? X1Yes 1No If no, turn in application at this time and leave quietly.
Have you ever done anything that was considered a felony (or equivalent to your realm)? X1Yes 1No
If no, turn in application at this time and leave quietly.
Have you ever been convicted of any felony (or equivalent to your realm) in the past 7 years?
1Yes X1No If yes, turn in application at this time and leave quietly.
If you answered yes to any of the above, please put down your writing utensil and accompany the security personnel who will escort you to level six for a more in-depth and personal interview. List next of kin here
2. Education, Skills & Training:
Please list last Guild Training Academy Attended: HELL UNIVERSITY Skill Level: MASTER OF ONLY GOOD
Please list Specialized Training: (Use additional sheet if necessary) Ability to put out fire before they burn your ass in HELL,,,,trained by firefighter with SCBA~~~~~also trained with Angels Team 6
Innate Abilities due to race, creature status, etc: (i.e. Dragon Breath, Vampire Glamour, Basilisk Gaze, etc.)
~~~~~~~~Thoughtful…good sense of humor~~~~~WEAK KNEES Gazette
Any additional skills or education that you feel would help you in attaining the position to which you are applying? Please feel free to list any and all additional talents you think might help us in our decision making process: ~~~~~~~No additional skills…..I’m the “PERFECT” Angel born and raised in~~~~~~~
3. Personal Information: Disclaimer: positions and employment will not be denied due to answers in this section, but due to the specialization of many of the positions here at D.R.A.G.O.N. it must be understood that some personal information must be asked:
Type of Magical Creature or Mythological Persona:
~~~~~~~ANGEL (obtained after taking a test to find out what Mythological creature I am).
Any mixed breeding (such as half-elf, half-kobold, gnomish ogre, etc) ~~~~~~NO….PURE AND PERFECT ANGEL
For Dragons only, please list color and alignment: _______________________________________
For Dark Elves (Drow) only, Are you a friend of or related to Do’Urden: XX1Yes No 1Who? If who is checked, please turn in your application and leave quietly and quickly, with your head down and without looking any other individual in the eye.
Any other creature or description: ____________________________________________________
Special Note: If you are unable to fill out any of the boxes in this section, then you are obviously non-magical/mythical. If you believe you can fulfill one of the very few pure human occupations (i.e. unbelievably sexy, overwhelmingly busty or endowed, technology geek of unheard of talent) please report to the attendant your belief and if she agrees, you will be sent to the office of Mr. Leprechaun who will conduct a private interview.
Position Applying For: LAFFS AND GIGGLES CHEERLEADER
If unknown check here 1 turn in application and leave quietly. If you don’t know why you’re here, you’re obviously in the wrong place.
Hours Available: XXX1Any and all hours 1Any other answer (please turn in your application and leave quietly)
I do solemnly swear, under penalty of level 6, that all the above statements are true and have been made of my own free will, without reservation or coercion of any kind. I also attest that I have not been given any assumptions of employment and no promises have been made to me. I promise I am not a liberal democrat, welfare scumbag capable of working, just not bothering to or any other horrendous type person such as anti-police, anti-military and that I don’t believe I am entitled to anything from any person or government entity that I haven’t, myself worked for. So help me IMPISH DRAGON (Fill in deity’s name here)
Insert Finger, Paw or Talon Print Here: ____FINGER but not specified as to which one.
Insert Drop of Blood Here: _____B POSITIVE_____