Leprechaun Laughs # 213 for Wednesday 10/02/2013


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JUST when you think you’re ready to upload an issue and have a day or two of breathing room BAM!  Something comes along that demands comment and/or inclusion and you have to pull the issue back!

I’m talking of course of the subject of yesterday’s Impish IdledByCongress’sIndiferenceDragon’s Special Edition, the shut down of our nation by the Asinine Assemblies of both houses of Congress on both sides of the aisle and by our spoiled “Everything-has-to-be-my-way-excuse-me-I’m-late-for-yet-another-vacation-on-your-dime-while-almost-a- million-of-you-go-broker-and-I-join-in-pissing-on-you-our-Vets-our-military-and-what-America-stands-forcomically clueless, inept and ineffectual Towel headed President Commander in Farce.

Any pleasantries I might have spent time coming up with for this opening were lost in my rush to cover the shut down.

Opening Logo 6

enough

An 18-year-old suicide bomber blew himself up and appeared before Allah.

He said, “Oh, Allah, I did your bidding, but I have a request. Since I’m only 18 and spent all my time in terrorist training school, I never was with a woman. So, instead of 72 virgins, who also won’t know what to do sexually, can I have 72 whores?

Allah regarded him for a moment, then replied, “Actually, the 72 virgins are here in Muslim heaven because dumb butts like you murdered them before they could experience the pleasure of sex. So you’re here to service them. Since they’re virgins, they’re quite sexually hungry; and frankly, you’ll be on constant and very exhausting duty.”

The bomber responded, “Well, I guess I can live with that. How hard can it be to keep 72 women satisfied for all eternity?”

Allah replied quizzically, “Who told you these virgins were women?”

random-funny-stuff-14

doing it right

I love WWII Vets, they really were our greatest generation. All are over the age of 80 and most well into their late 80s and early 90’s but they with a simple act of passive defiance today clearly on behalf of WE the PEOPLE extended a clenched fist and raise a some what shaky middle finger to the government who would piss on what they stood for in the name of Partisan Bickering and Political Infighting.

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WASHINGTON (CNN) –  Busloads of World War II veterans, many in wheelchairs, broke past a barricade Tuesday to cross into the World War II Memorial, as onlookers applauded and a man playing the bagpipes led the way.

The National Park Service closed all of its parks, including national memorials, as a result of the federal government shutdown that went into effect at 12:01 a.m ET.

But a spokeswoman from the Park Service said efforts were no longer being made to hold anyone back, and security officers could easily be seen standing aside.

“These are important visitors,” she told reporters, adding that they’re seeking guidance from the director’s office on “where we go next.”

Some Republican members of Congress and a Democratic senator were on site, blasting the federal government for fencing off the memorial. Outraged and baffled, Sen. Tom Harkin, D-Iowa, crossed through an opening in the fenced-off area earlier in the morning — before the breach — and got on the phone to try and reach the secretary of the Department of Interior.

“I don’t get it. I’m furious. I’m trying to get a hold of people,” he said, standing on the other side of the barricade and looking around for help. “But I can’t seem to get a hold of anybody.”

Harkin faulted Republicans for what he called their “nonsense” the legislative back-and-forth that led to the shutdown.

“Obviously I can walk here,” Harkin said, as he walked through the barricade. “Why can’t I walk there?” he added, as he pointed at the memorial

A few House Republicans were also at the memorial to disparage the government for closing off the landmark on a day that veterans were set to arrive.

“We’ve got park service employees out here,” said Rep. Louie Gohmert of Texas. “Why wouldn’t you have them here to allow the veterans in, instead of stand and keep them from coming in?”

Rep. Michele Bachmann of Minnesota, wearing casual clothes, said she was out walking when she heard about the pile-up at the memorial and decided to hustle over to the site.

“Who’s going to say no to a World War II veteran? I certainly wouldn’t,” Bachmann said.

“America is not shutting down,” she also said, pointing to the veterans.

Rep. Steve King of Iowa argued this should be considered a “slow down,” not a “shutdown.”

“This isn’t Republicans vs. Democrats, this is about our veterans,” another member of Congress said.

Most of the veterans who arrived at the World War II Memorial came courtesy of nonprofit programs, including Honor Flight Network, that transport the aging men and women to Washington.

I’d like to personally thank those men and women who ignored those barricades today not only for their service to our country and to a government who clearly could give a damned less about them or their sacrifices. I’d like to also thank them for clearly demonstrating to said ungrateful Government that it needs us more than we need them and they they ONLY Govern by our sufferance!

Personally I think it was about high time we demonstrated that we are through suffering this ineffectual uncompassionate and ineffective Government. VOTE THEM ALL THE HELL OUT OF OFFICE!

DL Introspection Header

My local county government board is considering outlawing compost heaps, as they attract vermin. Then again, so do seats on local county government boards, to say nothing of the progressively larger and more aggressive types attracted to Local, State and National Government positions!

 !cid_01918CEE108B4D1BB27CE446DD6B4627@HARRYPC

The Top 5 Ways a Government Shutdown Could Affect Us

  1. Surprise! The exact same number of bi-partisan bills are passed DURING the shutdown as in the two years before it.
  2. I guess we’ll just be stuck having to watch only C-SPAN Classic.
  3. With nothing to talk about, political pundits are forced to make fun of Canadians and their king.
  4. Fingerprinting of newly arrested criminals will be outsourced to Apple’s iPhone division.

And the Number One Way a Government Shutdown Could Affect Us…

  1. With no FCC, Bert and Ernie finally get to visit a bathhouse.

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So the other day I was having issues sending something to Impish at work and had to go directly to Gmail to accomplish it. After sending the material he wanted I happened to see the follow ad below the mail window-

US Postal Service-Hiring –
$21/hr. Start, Avg. Pay $72K/yr. No Experience Needed! Get Started

Is it ANY WONDER they’re going broke, it costs half a buck to send a letter and everyone prefers electronic mail?

NO EXPERIENCE but 72K per year to start??!!

Then I go to my local TV station’s noon news brief in my inbox and what do I see?

Postal Service seeks to hike stamp prices by 3 cents

Price of sending postcard would also go up under proposal

WASHINGTON (CNNMoney) – Mailing a letter would cost three cents more, or 49 cents, starting in January, under a Wednesday proposal by the U.S. Postal Service.

The price of sending a postcard would also go up by a cent to 34 cents. The rate hikes are expected to raise $2 billion for the cash-strapped postal service.

http://www.click2houston.com/news/money/postal-service-seeks-3cent-stamp-price-hike/-/1735962/22113136/-/mywqda/-/index.html

Seems to me that every comment ever made about how the UAW was bankrupting the Car Industry and driving up the prices of automobiles with their ridiculous wages & benefits packages can be equally applied to the USPS.

The UAW was forced time and time again to make wage and benefit concessions not only with the working rank and file but to their pensioners as well, so why isn’t the USPS forced to do the same thing? Why is the result of their epic mismanagement being passed off onto WE THE PEOPLE?

I think the USPS should be labeled a Utility just like Phone Service and rate hikes should have to be approved!

 

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Mocha Cinnamon Custard

Mocha Cinnamon Custard

Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 10 minutes
Yield: 6 servings

INGREDIENTS:
  • 1 tablespoon cornstarch
  • 4 teaspoons Instant Coffee Crystals
  • 1 3/4 cups milk
  • 1 (3.15 oz.) tablet authentic Mexican chocolate drink mix
  • 1 (14 oz.) can Sweetened Condensed Milk
  • 2 large egg yolks
  • 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
  • 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  • Whipped cream
  • Unsweetened cocoa powder
DIRECTIONS:
  1. COMBINE cornstarch, coffee, milk and chocolate in 2-quart saucepan. Heat 3 to 4 minutes on medium-high heat or until chocolate is melted. Add sweetened condensed milk, egg yolks and cinnamon. Whisk until blended.
  2. COOK on medium-high heat, stirring constantly, 4 to 5 minutes or until starting to thicken. Stir in vanilla.
  3. POUR into custard or dessert cups. Chill at least 1 hour before serving. Top with whipped cream and sprinkle with cocoa powder.

For a stronger coffee statement substitute 1 or 2 teaspoons of Instant Espresso Powder for  a like amount of instant coffee.

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This next one doesn’t even require complicated directions. Only the explanation that the bottle in the picture is Caramel Topping for Ice Cream

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Stroll down memory lane!

If you want to stroll with us you’ll have to go to the blog! Dragonlaffs.com

 

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Amazing how the rest of the government is closed but this part, which the majority of Americans do not want, is not only considered essential but (unsurprisingly) flawed and not working (just like our Government).

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CYber Security Alert

How to Tell if a Cell Phone Is Being Monitored

By Abaigeal Quinn, eHow Contributor

With all of the latest hullabaloo about cell phones being used as bugging devices, you may be feeling a bit creeped out at the prospect of being monitored without your knowing it. Although some cell phones can be remotely programmed, most modern cell phones would require physical access to your phone to tamper with it. Luckily, when cell phones are transmitting, certain tell-tale signs can be a dead giveaway that your phone is being monitored

Things You’ll Need

  • Cell phone

  • Access to speakers

Instructions

  • 1

    Determine if you have an unusually low call volume or if you are having sporadic troubles dialing out on your phone. Most phones, when operating as a bugging device, disrupt the transmission path by utilizing it in order to spy. Some newer “3G” phones bypass this problem by running super high-speed data, which can enable additional voice channels along with the primary call line.

  • 2

    Pay attention to your battery power and usage—does it seem to be running low more quickly than usual? This may indicate the phone is in use while you are unaware of it.

  • 3

    Check to see if the phone is warm even when you have not been using it. Cell phones heat up when in use, but should not be warm under normal resting conditions.

  • 4

    Test your GSM phone (most phones are GSM in the United States, including T-Mobile and Cingular) by positioning it next to speakers when you are not using it. A short-lived buzzing noise often occurs when phones are near speakers and sometimes even when they are not in use; however, a continuous buzzing noise that lasts longer than several seconds is abnormal.

  • 5

    Notice if your phone stays lit up after you have powered it down or if you have difficulty turning it off—this could indicate a bugging device. Other signs may be the phone periodically lighting up when not in use or odd clicking sounds or other unusual noises while the phone is in use.

Tips & Warnings

  • You can have the software wiped on your phone by bringing it into your local wireless provider.

  • Commercial bug detectors can detect cameras and listening devices.

  • Conventional GSM (Global System for Mobile Communications) data channels will often block calls while in active transmitting or receiving mode due to its narrow band technology. The digital air interface available in Code Division Multiple Access (CDMA) allows multiple calls overlaid on top of each other across the channel.

  • The speaker test does not work as well on phones that are non-GSM and instead use CDMA technology. Sprint and Verizon phones use this technology and therefore may be easier to bug than other phone types.

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Libatard is

The Perfect Home for Liberals

Never thought about it this way before….

!cid_1_377675756@web184804_mail_gq1_yahoo

Their own “Gated community”!

Quote of the day by Dianne Feinstein……….

   Dianne Feinstein: “All vets are mentally ill in some way and
government should prevent them from owning firearms”

Yep, – she really said it on Thursday in a meeting in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee. .and the quote below from the LA Times is priceless. Sometimes even the L.A. Times gets it right.

Kurt  Nimmo: “Senator Feinstein insults all U.S. Veterans as she flays about in a  vain attempt to save her anti-firearms bill.”

Quote of the Day from the  Los Angeles Times:

“Frankly, I don’t know what it is about California,  but we seem to have a strange urge to elect really obnoxious women to high  office.

I’m not bragging, you understand, but no other state, including  Maine, even comes close. When it comes to sending left-wing dingbats to  Washington, we’re Number One. There’s no getting around the fact that the last  time anyone saw the likes of Barbara Boxer, Dianne Feinstein, Maxine Waters,  and Nancy Pelosi, they were stirring a cauldron when the curtain went up on  ‘Macbeth’.

The  four of them are like jackasses who happen to possess the gift of blab. You  don’t know if you should condemn them for their stupidity or simply marvel at  their ability to form words.” – Columnist Burt  Prelutsky, Los  Angeles  Times

Nuff Said

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Best Laptop Ever

http://www.wimp.com/bestlaptop/

 

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There was a shipwreck and the Leprechaun and a person of German decent washed up on the shore – 

While scrounging around for useful items that might have washed ashore also. they found a slab of bacon – finding nothing to cut it with – they decided to have a tug of war and whom ever got the big piece, got to keep it – so they both took an end and put it in there mouths.

The Leprechaun says “Ir ye ready?” – the German says “JA” 

tactical Girl Scout Troop

Limerick 2

There was a young fellow named Sweeney,
Whose girl was a terrible meanie.
The hatch of her snatch,
Had a catch that would latch,
She could only be screwed by Houdini.

There was a poor parson from Goring,
Who made a small hole in his flooring,
Fur-lined it all round,
Then laid on the ground,
And declared it was cheaper than whoring.

There was a man from Cuba
Who stuck his dick in a tuba
His newly wed bride
Blew on the other side
And his dick flew off to Aruba

There was a man named McFeeney
Who spilled some gin on his weenie.
Not being uncouth He added vermouth
And slipped his girl a martini.

A horny young woman named Kate,
Had hoped for a really hot date.
But despite lots of kissing,
His erection was missing;
So next time she’ll just masturbate.

There was a young trollop from Ghent,
Who took condoms wherever she went,
When she was caught short,
She’d use one of the sort,
That her last trick had already spent.

A young miss with a bedroom trapeze,
Charges double to hang by her knees,
Her clients say gravity Helps’ em fill up her cavity–
And everyone’s cooled by the breeze.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To smoke a little leaf,
Jack got high and dropped his fly,
And Jill said, “Where’s The Beef?”

There was a young man from Purdue
Who was only just learning to screw,
But he hadn’t the knack,
And he got too far back,
In the right church, but in the wrong pew.

There once was a poor man named Crocket
Whose balls got caught in a light socket.
His wife was a bitch,
So she cranked on the switch,
And Crocket took off like a rocket!

Woman said, “If you want to plunder Me for hours,
there’s no need to wonder
Where to lick and to kiss.
You will put me in bliss.

“Sex is a sin,” mused Miss Willow
As she eyed the nude man from her pillow,
“But your equipment’s so small
That it’s no sin at all
I would term it a mere peccadillo.
” If you simply will go down under.”

There was a young plumber named Lee
Who plumbed his girl down by the sea;
Said the lady, “Stop plumbing! I hear someone coming.”
Said the plumber, still plumbing, “That’s me.”

A pansy who lived in Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room,
And they argued all night
Over who had the right
To do what, and with whom, and to whom.

motivate-tuesday-20

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Visa Goes Anti-Gun: Restricts America’s Largest Gun Store From Processing Transactions

Mac Slavo September 27th, 2013 SHTFplan.com http://www.shtfplan.com/headline-news/visa-goes-anti-gun-restricts-americas-largest-gun-store-from-processing-transactions_09272013

visa-logo3

The assault on the U.S. Constitution and the Second Amendment continues.

This time big business is getting into the mix and they’re aiming for gun stores right at the source of their revenues – their transaction processing facilities.

According to Larry Hyatt, owner of the largest gun brokerage firm in the United States, Authorize.net, which is a wholly owned subsidiary of Visa USA and one of the world’s largest credit card processing gateways, has terminated their relationship with the firm.

After four years in business with the Visa owned Authorize.net, Larry Hyatt, owner of Hyatt Gun Shop, received an email indicating that the company would no longer provide its services due to “the sale of firearms or any similar product.”

The email reads:

Dear Hyatt Gun Shop Inc,

Authorize.Net LLC (“Authorize.Net”) has determined that the nature of your business constitutes a violation of Section 2.xiv of the Authorize.Net Acceptable Use Guidelines and Sections 3.3 and 11.3 of the Authorize.Net Service Agreement (the “Agreement”).

These sections include, but are not limited to, the sale of firearms or any similar product.

Accordingly, pursuant to Section 4 of the Acceptable Use Guidelines, your ability to access and use the Authorize.Net Services will be terminated on September 30, 2013.

Hyatt’s massive online store will be unable to process credit card transactions, giving the store only a few days to find a new processing company before Authorize.net terminates their business relationship.

“We’ve never seen anything like this,” Hyatt Marketing Director Justin Anderson told the Washington Examiner.

All of a sudden, after four years of doing business together, Authorize.net declares that Hyatt Gun Shop is in violation of their terms of agreement.

An odd coincidence to be sure, but not if you consider that many top executives at Visa have donated to President Obama’s election campaigns. With President Obama renewing his push for gun control in the wake of the Navy Yard shooting last week, and Americans ardently opposing any legislative action that would further restrict the ownership of firearms, it looks as if anti-gun politicians are now calling in favors with their connections in big business.

If you can’t outlaw the guns, then strike directly at the companies who manufacture them and sell them by cutting off their cash flow.

This is exactly what Authorize.net, which processes credit card transactions for millions of merchants around the world, has done to Hyatt.

Earlier this year, after a similar anti-gun push following the Sandy Hook elementary school tragedy, Bank of America took it upon themselves to forcibly seize funds from licensed firearms dealer and manufacturer American Spirit Arms.

The incidents with Hyatt Gun Shop and American Spirit Arms are certainly not isolated and will likely continue as government and business merge their agendas, especially as it pertains to our government sponsored banking system, which has a stranglehold over American businesses.

The Constitution remains a prominent roadblock for the anti-gun establishment, and despite efforts to ban semi-automatic rifles, tax ammunition, and restrict importation of magazines and gun parts, they are being countered at every turn by the tens of millions of Americans who believe in their personal right to bear arms.

Thus, government is now relying on their incestuous relationships with the many bailed out banks and businesses who are essentially under their control.

If you think this was an accident, you’re kidding yourself.

A coordinated effort is underway to make it difficult, if not impossible, to acquire self defense armaments that include guns, ammo, and accessories.

Get ‘em while you can. We saw what happened with the ammunition. Now it seems they are trying to lock-down our ability to do business with legitimate gun dealers.

I moved my business banking from Bank of America when they pulled their stunt (see here ( https://dragonlaffs.com/2013/01/19/lethal-leprechaun-177-for-saturday-january-19th-2013/ ) and additionally pulled the Facebook account (reason also covered in that issue) I had started for my business just the week before because dumb people were apparently searching on Facebook for my business to contact me. (A move I have yet to regret in retrospect).

Since this little attempt to get around the Second Amendment by Visa (whose largest shareholder and actual card holder accounts owner is…wait for it…Bank of America) I have also ceased doing business with Visa canceling an account I have had personally for over 40 years and a business one I have held for over 10.

Apparently a lot of incensed gun owners were doing the exact same thing because I spotted this on Friday the 27th at noon and tried every hour for the remainder of the day to reach a CSR unsuccessfully with the response ranging from being unable to complete my call to being told the wait time due to a higher than normal call volume as currently estimated at 4 hours! Pretty much the same thing held true on Saturday as well. Finally around 3 PM on Monday of this week I was able to get through and cancel the accounts. When I was asked to provide a reason for canceling I said, “I’m a gun owner, an NRA member (who’s dues I have paid every year with my personal card btw) and staunchly Pro Second Amendment. Therefore I cannot condone your companies actions, nor will I continue to support you in your attempt to undermine the Constitution of the United States in pursuit of your liberal Corporate Agenda”.

A deep sigh was heard on the other end of the line and I was told that Corporate policy was to transfer me to a ‘Retention Specialist’ who would attempt bribery in the form of lower card rates, higher credit limits and assorted other things to keep me as a customer. However, because I had resisted waxing profane at her over something she had no control over but had been taking the heat for since the Previous Friday she would ignore that directive in appreciation. She them mentioned that her call center was currently experiencing a 40% absentee rate because they were taking the brunt of customers anger for VISA’s action.

Apparently BoA is either in possession of a very flat learning curve or thinks that financial institutions can circumvent and interfere in the exercise of the Second Amendment. My advice?

1.) Dump VISA & BoA if you have not already.

2.) Pay cash for all weapons, accessories and ammunition you purchase. Nobody can interfere with cash transactions. Besides paying cash eliminates one more layer of paper trail when the Government decides they have the right to know what weapons are in your possession sans due process.

Obama's Enemy List

And I’m growing prouder of that fact on a daily basis!

Finn McCool Sig

About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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