Lethal Leprechaun #177 for Saturday January 19th 2013


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Alright! Shut yer gobs! I soddin’ bloody well KNOW its Saturday. I KNOW you’re supposed to be reading DragonLaffs not another far superior issue of Leprechaun Laughs. I KNOW yer gettin’ bloody well spoiled, just like I KNOW I’m missing out on some quality pillow time. I need to be reminded of this as much as Impish needs another gross of pies to devour.

However it’s this or nothing as Impish is still sleeping off the anesthesia and insult done his body by the surgery (you’d think after looking at him his body would have been used to being insulted after so many years of it occurring on a daily basis) and totally up to you, I can probably still go hop back a fairly warm bed and cuddle up o’ gainst as softly snoring Molly until I get warm once more and get at least another 20 or 30 winks in. Now which do you prefer, going cold turkey every Saturday or settin’ yer backsides down and closing yer gobs so I can get on with it?

Dat’s what I thought!

It has been brought to my attention that as the resident Celtophile I have been remiss in my duties only promoting the Irish side of Celticism (ok truth be told the wanker suggested I was a Irish bigot and snob for never mentioning the Scots or Welsh except in jokes). Hence today we’re going to talk about the up coming Friday Burn’s Night Festivities during the issue.

 Mean time its still too bloody cold to be just standing around here so lets be gettin’ on with the likes o’ it shall we?

 Opening Logo 19

!cid_X_MA1_1355449794@aol

Impish dragon Report

YES! You’re too bloody well right the Impish Report comes after the coffee.
Around here NOTHING comes before Coffee! In fact that’s Corporate Rule #1.

His nibs continues to make progress, getting around with the aid of a walker in his lair. Apparently he’s a fair deal of that achy broken bone type pain to contend with along with some sort of new high tech torture device for immobilizing his entire leg.

Yesterday was his first trip to Physical Therapy since he was discharged from the hospital Wednesday.   While he is going willingly and with dogged determination he observed that being coerced into voluntarily showing up to be rehabilitated by sadistic Physical Therapists adds a whole new dimension to the torture concept.

Impish expect to slowly get back up to speed posting wise, hoping to make several short posts over the next several days (hopefully managing to avoid swiping any material I have already used). He CLAIMS he’s going to be up to posting  the next issue (Wednesday) but the Vegas Odds Makers are laying 8-5 against. So just plan on seeing my not so smiling face…again. That way you can be surprised if he manages to actually make good on his assertion.

I have it under very good authority (mine) that he most definitely WILL be posting DragonLaffs next Saturday. I sort of motivated him by saying I’d personally start the Apocalypse if anything was even mentioned about my covering for him again next weekend AFTER I paid him a personal visit sat on his lap and bounced on a certain newly repaired knee.

 

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I found this beautiful winter poem with a wonderful illustration and thought it might be a comfort to you and help warm things up. It was to me, and it’s very well written.

‘WINTER’

A poem by Abigail Elizabeth McIntyre

!cid_B6BCF52D419C462E8B9BCE3382645814@Joysmachine

Damn, It’s Cold !
The End

A Young Hero in Boston

Two boys in Boston were playing basketball when one of them was attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy picked up a board lying nearby, wedged it into the dog’s collar and twisted it, breaking the dog’s neck and thus ending the attack. His friend was saved.

A newspaper reporter from the Boston Globe witnessed the incident and rushed over to interview the boy. Realizing he had less than 20 minutes to get the story entered for the next edition, the reporter began entering the story into his laptop as he did the interview, beginning with the headline:

Brave Young Celtics Fan Saves Friend From Jaws Of Vicious Animal

“But I’m not a Celtics fan,” interjected the little hero, looking over the reporter’s shoulder as he typed.

“Sorry,” replied the reporter, “but since we’re in Boston, I just assumed you were.”

Hitting the delete key, the reporter replaced the head:

John Kerry Supporter Rescues Friend From Horrific Dog Attack

“I don’t like Kerry either,” the boy responds.

“Huh,” the reporter says. “I assumed everybody in this state was either for the Celtics, Kerry or Kennedy. OK, then, what team or person do you like?”

“I’m a Houston Rockets fan and I really like George W. Bush,” the boy says.

Hitting the delete key, the reporter began again:

Arrogant Conservative Bastard Kills Beloved Family Pet

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 https://i2.wp.com/digital.olivesoftware.com/Olive/ODE/houstonchronicle/server/GetContent.asp

The Modern Product Label

This is apparently a real label on a doormat. You wouldn’t think that would need much of a disclaimer or warning, right? Well, here’s what it says:

Doormat label

If that’s difficult to read, it says:

This perfectly fine, if not certainly adequate doormat is MADE IN THE USA from 100% Olefin® Indoor/Outdoor carpet and printed with color-fast inks. Wash with hose and brush. Dry flat. Do not machine wash.

Important things you should know about your new doormat
Warning: Do not use mat as a projectile. Sudden acceleration to dangerous speeds may cause injury. When using mat, follow directions: Put your right foot in, put your right foot out, put your right foot in and shake it all about. This mat is not designed to sustain gross weight exceeding 12,000 lbs. If mat begins to smoke, immediately seek shelter and cover head. Caution: If coffee spills on mat, assume that it is very hot. This mat is not intended to be used as a placemat. Small food particles trapped in fibers may attract rodents and other vermin. Do not glue mat to porous surfaces, such as pregnant women, pets and heavy machinery. When not in use, mat should be kept out of reach of children diagnosed with CFED (Compulsive Fiber Eating Disorder). Do not taunt mat. Failure to comply relieves the makers of this doormat, Simply Precious Home Decor, and its parent company, High Cotton, Inc., of any and all Liability.

I think they can still be sued, though: it doesn’t warn to keep it away from adults with CFED. And what if kids aren’t formally diagnosed, but are only suspected of having CFED? The company’s lawyers really need to think about these things: that’s why they get the big bucks.

And what sort of color-fast-printed doormat do they offer? Here’s one I like:

Doormat: COME BACK WITH A WARRANT

It reads in large bold type, “COME BACK WITH A WARRANT.” (No, law enforcement officers may not “Come in and look around.”)

Satisfactory!

 

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If he can’t do his own posts at least he can be the brunt a of a few jokes!

The Old Guy Cannot

An elderly man was having a calm walk when he happens to pass a brothel.

One of the prostitutes calls out: “Hey Grandpa! Why don’t you try me?”

The old man replies: “No, my child, I cannot!”

The prostitute: “Cheer up! Let us try!”

So the elderly man enters and performs like a 25 year old.

The prostitute says:”Oh Gosh! And you still say you cannot?”

The old man replied: “Aaah, sex I can, what I cannot is… Pay!”

bar3a

  confused

coollogo_com-326306573  

Facebook Purges Pro-Gun Accounts <clickable link

Massive act of censorship sees alternative media pages disappeared

Paul Joseph Watson Infowars.com December 27, 2012

Facebook is purging accounts that carry pro-second amendment and pro-liberty information in a censorship purge that has accelerated over the past few hours, with innumerable pages being disappeared merely for posting legitimate political content.

NaturalNews.com’s Mike Adams contacted us to alert us to the fact that “Facebook banned our account for posting this,” with an attached image of a Gandhi quote about how the British disarmed the citizenry during their rule in India.

<list of account owners names appears along with their associations click the link above to see>

It is important to stress that most of these accounts have not simply been temporarily suspended, they have been shut down completely. Some are now being reinstated after complaints. Accounts that have been suspended can still be seen but posting rights have been revoked.

A 24 hour suspension was also placed on the Alex Jones Facebook account due to an image that another user had posted in which Alex Jones was tagged.

One of the messages being received by users having their accounts suspended is displayed below. In most cases, users are not even being informed of why their page was suspended or deleted, with Facebook merely referring them to the company’s guidelines.

Last week, we reported on how Facebook was suspending user accounts that questioned the official narrative behind the Sandy Hook school massacre.

As we have previously highlighted, Facebook occasionally deletes images and posts that it claims violate “Facebook’s Statement of Rights and Responsibilities,” yet constitute little more than political conjecture or a healthy skepticism of official narratives on current events.

In September 2011, Infowars reporter Darrin McBreen was told by Facebook staff not to voice his political opinion on the social networking website.

Responding to comments McBreen had made about off-grid preppers being treated as criminals, the “Facebook Team” wrote, “Be careful making about making political statements on facebook,” adding, “Facebook is about building relationships not a platform for your political viewpoint. Don’t antagonize your base. Be careful and congnizat (sic) of what you are preaching.”

I find it highly interesting and enlightening, (let’s not even begin to address the level of hypocrisy involved) that NONE of the people that attacked the “American Guns” Facebook page with expressions of anti-gun sentiment and demanded the show be taken off the air were treated the same as apparently are none of the presumably just as numerous anti-gun sentiment expressing accounts left unmolested.

HEY! MARK ‘I AM BIG BROTHER’S CENSOR OF SOCIAL MEDIA’ ZUCKERBERG!

081711anger

VAvHOSeKYk

Biology Exam

Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, ‘Name seven advantages of Mother’s Milk.?

The question was worth 70 points or none at all.

One student in particular was hard-put to think of seven advantages. However, he wrote:

1) It is the perfect formula for the child.

2) It provides immunity against several diseases.

3) It is always the right temperature.

4) It is inexpensive.

5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.

6) It is always available as needed.

And then the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:

7) It comes in two attractive containers and it’s high enough off the ground where the cat can’t get it.

He got an A.

bullshit-o-meter-300x225

I’ve gotten the following e-mail from a few of you in the last week. Apparently you figured while I was hard pressed to keep the ball rolling around here while not myself freezing to death you could sneak one by on ol’ Lethal. Sorry, while my nose may be running from the weather I can still smell and spot a steaming pile a good 10 e-mails distant.

Homeland Security Graduates First Corps Of Obama’s Brown Shirts – Homeland Youth

Ok right off 1st clue this is going to largely consist of bovine byproduct? The thinly veiled Nazi reference. Dead give away they are trying to shore up a week argument or misdirect your attention from too close a study of what they are presenting.

Homeland Security Graduates First Corps Of Obama’s Brown Shirts – Homeland Youth

Monday, October 15, 2012

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October 7, 2012. Vicksburg .
The federal government calls them FEMA Corps. But they conjure up memories of the Hitler Youth of 1930’s Germany [and the Chinese Red Guard]. Regardless of their name, the Dept of Homeland Security has just graduated its first class of 231 Homeland Youth. Kids, aged 18-24 and recruited from the President’s AmeriCorp volunteers, they represent the first wave of DHS’s youth corps, designed specifically to create a full time, paid, standing army of FEMA Youth across the country.

On September 13, 2012, the Dept of Homeland Security graduated its first class of FEMA Corps youth, FEMA Corps first-responders, aka the Homeland Youth. Image courtesy of DHS.gov< 2nd hint this is pure BS. Link goes to the DHS homepage not proof the photo is DHS provided.

Actually, the photo is NOT courtesy of DHS but rather by Photo: Todd Krainin for The New York Times and is part of a New York Times feature done in 2009 on The Explorers, a coeducational affiliate of the Boy Scouts, this particular Post is being hosted by the ICE Border Patrol! This particular photo is one of a series of 14 photos for the feature:   Explorers Train to Fight Terrorists, and More  the same photo and several of the others appearing in this NYTimes article as well . I’d also call you attention to the Federally mandated bright orange tips on the obviously plastic weapons which are undeniably AIRSOFT!

The e-mail goes on to show multiple other alleged instances of Obama creating and arming his private inside the USA army. It admittedly artfully threads together a whole bunch of these half backed truth free pasture pies into a persuasive for the gullible argument. The thing is if the lead off is a pasture pie you can pretty much rest assured the remainder of sensationalistic e-mail is as well.

I’m not going to bother posting the rest here in the interest of space. IF you have not already seen this in your inbox give it a few days, so gullible twit on your contacts list who thinks they cannot put anything on the Internet that’s not true will be sure to send it to you, probably marked High Priority besides. Instead I’m just going to post what factcheck.org had to say about this global warming causing barnyard methane generating pile of bullshit, along with their list of cited sources, for you to enlighten yourselves with.

The Law Enforcement Exploring program teaches crime-fighting skills to persons between the ages of 14 and 20 who are considering a career in law enforcement. The Times profiled a southern California chapter that partnered with U.S. Border Patrol and local police. They simulated a raid on a marijuana field, which the newspaper photographed.

FEMA Corps, on the other hand, is a civilian operation for persons between the ages of 18 and 24. It is a unit within AmeriCorps, a community service program.

FEMA Corps, which will grow to 1,600 members, is solely devoted to preparing for and responding to disasters. Corps members work with the Federal Emergency Management Agency, which dispatches them to disaster areas. They recently helped Hurricane Sandy victims in Long Beach, N.Y., registering them for federal assistance.

They do not carry guns — much less travel in armored fighting vehicles. In fact, the AmeriCorps handbook, which applies to FEMA Corps, prohibits members from possessing firearms or any other weapon.

The email, nonetheless, attempts to connect FEMA Corps to an overblown claim about the government’s recent ammunition purchases.

Bullet Baloney

The email cites a “drastic spike” in the Department of Homeland Security’s bullet purchases and asks: “What is the US federal government preparing for?” The email also claims that “federal management agencies are looking more and more like a military army every day.”

DHS has indeed ordered hundreds of millions of rounds of ammunition. But there is less here than meets the eye. And that’s according to the National Rifle Association and the office of Republican Congressman Lynn Westmoreland of Georgia.

The Department of Homeland Security recently contracted to buy up to 450 million rounds over the next five years. But DHS was making a first-time bulk order for all of its law enforcement agencies to save money. Those agencies include the Secret Service, the Transportation Security Administration and U.S. Customs and Border Enforcement, among many others.

The NRA describes the assertion as “incendiary.” It says the suggestion that the Obama administration is “preparing for a war with the American people” displays “a lack of understanding of the law enforcement functions carried about by officers in small federal agencies.” The NRA, which is no fan of the Democratic president, concludes that “there is no need to invent additional threats to our rights.”

‘Martial Law’ Malarkey

The email also links FEMA Corps to the false claim that Obama issued executive orders that institute martial law and give unchecked powers to FEMA.

As we’ve written before, Obama’s orders do no such thing. He issued one executive order that exercised his office’s power to prepare the nation for an emergency.

Since the Korean War, Congress has granted the president the authority to make sure national resources — such as the food supply and various industries — will be available to meet national security needs in times of war and other emergencies. That power is granted under the Defense Production Act, a law that dates to 1950 and must be reauthorized by Congress every few years. (The act expires in 2014.)

Like presidents before him, Obama issued an order updating the resources covered under that act while delegating authority over those resources to various federal departments and agencies. For example, the order authorizes the secretaries of Defense and the Interior “to encourage the exploration, development, and mining of strategic and critical materials and other materials.”

The order doesn’t institute martial law. It doesn’t even mention FEMA.

– Ben Finley

Sources

Press release. “Welcome to the FEMA Corps Inaugural Class.” Department of Homeland Security. 14 Sept. 2012.

U.S. Code, 2003 Edition. “15 U.S.C., Title 15, Chapter 76, Section 5001, penalties for entering into commerce of imitation firearms.” 2003.

Steinhauer, Jennifer. “Scouts Train to Fight Terrorists, and More.” The New York Times. 13 May 2009.

Program and Resource Guide for Adult Leaders.” Law Enforcement Exploring program. July 2011.

AmeriCorps NCCC FEMA Partnership.” About AmeriCorps. Accessed Nov 2012.

FEMA Corps FAQ’s.” FEMA. 20 June 2012.

Stilts, Josh. “Sandy victims helped through FEMA Corp by Pittsfield man.” The Berkshire Eagle. 18 Nov 2012.

AmeriCorps NCCC Memeber Handbook.” AmeriCorps. Jan 2011.

Federal Law Enforcement Agencies Buy Ammunition.” National Rifle Association Institute for Legal Action. 17 Aug 2012.

Doran, Kevin. “DHS Buys in Bulk to Save You Money.” Office of U.S. Rep. Lynn Westmoreland. Accessed Nov 2012.

Finley, Ben. “Obama’s Executive Orders.” FactCheck.org. 25 Sept 2012.

Jackson, Brooks. “Obama’s ‘National Security Force.’ ” FactCheck.org. 11 Nov 2008.

Novak, Viveca. “Obama’s ‘Private Army.’” FactCheck.org. 7 April 2010.

Obama, Barack. Executive Order 13603. 16 Mar 2012.

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clipart_magicbus

 

You Gotta Love Blondes…..

A surgeon went to check on his patient after an operation.
“You’ll be fine,” he said.
She asked, “How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again doctor?”

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The surgeon seemed to pause, which alarmed the girl.
“What’s the matter Doctor? I will be all right, won’t I?”
He replied, “Yes, you’ll be fine.
It’s just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out.”

 [Apparently Impish spends a considerable amount of his P.T. time at the hospital roaming the halls looking for her.]

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This is going to double as our cooking segment, when you get down to the section where the actual fare of a Burn’s Night feast is discussed there are clickable links to appropriate recipes for you to explore on your own. Forge on ahead on your own I’ll catch up- I have to put a new reed in the chanter on me pipes and iron the pleats in me kilt in preparation for Burn’s Night.

OH! By the by, for those that read this look at the photo of one and the recipes but still cannae figure out what the heck a Haggis is, its technically a fresh (as in uncured, undried & unsmoked)course ground sausage made of many of the less desirable portions/cuts of a sheep. It could rightly be considered “Scottish Soul Food” and ethnically/culinarily speaking is kin to the Cajun Boudan.

A Burns supper is a celebration of the life and poetry of the poet Robert Burns, author of many Scots poems. The suppers are normally held on or near the poet’s birthday, 25 January, sometimes also known as Robert Burns Day or Burns Night, although they may in principle be held at any time of the year.

Burns’ suppers are most common in Scotland and Northern Ireland but occur wherever there are Burns Clubs, Scottish Societies, expatriate Scots, or aficionados of Burns’ poetry. There is a particularly strong tradition of them in southern New Zealand’s main city Dunedin, of which Burns’ nephew Thomas Burns was a founding father.

The first suppers were held in Ayrshire at the end of the 18th century by Robert Burns’ friends on the anniversary of his death, 21 July, In Memoriam and they have been a regular occurrence ever since. The first Burns club, known as The Mother Club, was founded in Greenock in 1801 by merchants born in Ayrshire, some of whom had known Burns. They held the first Burns supper on what they thought was his birthday on 29 January 1802, but in 1803 discovered from the Ayr parish records that the correct date was 25 January 1759,[1] and since then suppers have been held on 25 January, Burns’ birthday.

Burns suppers may be formal or informal. Both typically include haggis (a traditional Scottish dish celebrated by Burns in Address to a Haggis), Scotch whisky and the recitation of Burns’ poetry. Formal dinners are hosted by organizations such as Burns clubs, the Freemasons or St Andrews Societies and occasionally end with dancing when ladies are present. Formal suppers follow a standard format as follows:

Piping in the guests

  • A big-time Burns Night calls for a piper to welcome guests. If you don’t want all that baggage, some traditional music will do nicely. For more formal events, the audience should stand to welcome arriving guests: the piper plays until the high table is ready to be seated, at which point a round of applause is due. At a more egalitarian gathering – with no high table – the chair can simply bang on the table to draw attention to the start of the evening’s proceedings.

  • Chairman’s welcome

    The Chair (host/organizer) warmly welcomes and introduces the assembled guests and the evening’s entertainment.

  • The Selkirk Grace

    A short but important prayer read to usher in the meal, The Selkirk Grace is also known as Burns’s Grace at Kirkcudbright. Although the text is often printed in English, it is usually recited in Scots.

    Some hae meat and canna eat,
    And some wad eat that want it,
    But we hae meat and we can eat,
    And sae the Lord be thankit.
  • Piping in the haggis

    Piping in the haggis

    Guests should normally stand to welcome the dinner’s star attraction, which should be delivered on a silver platter by a procession comprising the chef, the piper and the person who will address the Haggis. A whisky-bearer should also arrive to ensure the toasts are well lubricated.

    During the procession, guests clap in time to the music until the Haggis reaches its destination at the table. The music stops and everyone is seated in anticipation of the address To a Haggis.

  • Address to the haggis

    The honored reader now seizes their moment of glory by offering a fluent and entertaining rendition of To a Haggis. The reader should have his knife poised at the ready. On cue (His knife see Rustic-labour dight), he cuts the casing along its length, making sure to spill out some of the tasty gore within (trenching its gushing entrails).

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  • Haggis on a garnished platter with the knife used to cut it open in the “Address to a Haggis” at a Burns Supper

    Warning: it is wise to have a small cut made in the haggis skin before it is piped in. Instances are recorded of top table guests being scalded by flying pieces of haggis when enthusiastic reciters omitted this precaution! Alternatively, the distribution of bits of haggis about the assembled company is regarded in some quarters as a part of the fun…

    The recital ends with the reader raising the haggis in triumph during the final line Gie her a haggis!, which the guests greet with rapturous applause.

  • Toast to the haggis

    Prompted by the speaker, the audience now joins in the toast to the haggis. Raise a glass and shout: The haggis! Then it’s time to serve the main course with its traditional companions, neeps and tatties. In larger events, the piper leads a procession carrying the opened haggis out to the kitchen for serving; audience members should clap as the procession departs.

  • The meal

    Served with some suitable background music, the sumptuous Bill o’ Fare includes:-

    Variations do exist: beef lovers can serve the haggis, neeps & tatties as a starter with roast beef or steak pie as the main dish. Vegetarians can of course choose vegetarian haggis, while pescatarians could opt for a seafood main course such as Cullen Skink.

    For more detailed information about the food on Burns Night, read How to host a Burns Night supper over on the BBC Food blog.

  • The drink

    Liberal lashings of wine or ale should be served with dinner and it’s often customary to douse the haggis with a splash of whisky sauce, which, with true Scots understatement, is neat whisky.

    After the meal, it’s time for connoisseurs to compare notes on the wonderful selection of malts served by the generous chair.

  • The first entertainment

    The nervous first entertainer follows immediately after the meal. Often it will be a singer or musician performing Burns songs such as:-

    Alternatively it could be a moving recital of a Burns poem, with perennial preference for:-

  • The immortal memory

    The keynote speaker takes the stage to deliver a spell-binding oratoration on the life of Robert Burns: his literary genius, his politics, his highs and lows, his human frailty and – most importantly – his nationalism. The speech must bridge the dangerous chasm between serious intent and sparkling wit, painting a colorful picture of Scotland’s beloved Bard.

    The speaker concludes with a heart-felt toast: To the Immortal Memory of Robert Burns!

  • The second entertainment

    The chair introduces more celebration of Burns’ work, preferably a poem or song to complement the earlier entertainment.

  • Toast to the Lassies

    The humorous highlight of any Burns Night comes in this toast, which is designed to praise the role of women in the world today. This should be done by selective quotation from Burns’s works and should build towards a positive note. Particular reference to those present makes for a more meaningful toast.

    The toast concludes: To the Lassies!

  • The final entertainment

    The final course of the evening’s entertainment comprises more Burns readings.

  • Reply to the Toast to the Lassies

    Revenge for the women present as they get their chance to reply.

  • Vote of thanks

    The chair now climbs to his potentially unsteady feet to thank everyone who has contributed to a wonderful evening and to suggest that taxis will arrive shortly.

    Auld Lang Syne

    The chair closes the proceedings by inviting guests to stand and belt out a rousing rendition of Auld Lang Syne. The company joins hands and sings as one, having made sure to brush up on those difficult later lines.

    Optional extras

    These can slot into any part of the evening.

    • Lost Burns manuscripts

      Some Burns Night suppers include a lost manuscript reading, where a participant with literary aspirations recites from a fictitious long-lost musing of the great man on a new subject.

    • Quizzes and/or recitation competitions

      Involving the guests – instead of having them sit passively – is key to a fun and successful Burns night. Make up your own activities for best effect.

    • div10

    Slicker than What?!

    A local Fox news station offers some winter driving tips:

    Driving on Snot & Ice

    If you can’t read that, these are tips for “DRIVING ON SNOT & ICE” —

    • Avoid slamming on brakes.
    • Avoid changing lanes.
    • Never use cruise control.
    • With ABS brakes, don’t pump the brake pedal. Apply steady, firm pressure.
    • Do not drive in four-wheel-drive

    — Fox 23 in Tulsa, Oklahoma

     

    !cid_X_MA1_1353263678@aol

    Background checks: 9 things to know about gun sales

    Published: Monday, January 14, 2013 By Ryan Teague Beckwith, Digital First Media

  • A key part of any proposed gun-control legislation will likely be expanding background checks on gun sales. Here’s what you need to know.

  • Although gun-control activists hope to see an assault-weapons ban, it’s not clear that could pass Congress. Instead, many expect the fight to focus instead on expanding background checks required for gun sales.

  • Below, what you need to know about background checks.

  • The law requiring background checks is 20 years old.

  • In 1993, the Brady Handgun Violence Protection Act required background checks for people buying guns from federally licensed firearms dealers. Run by the FBI, the National Instant Criminal Background Check System was launched in 1998.

  • Gun buyers submit basic information for a background check.

  • Before buying a gun, prospective buyers submit their name, sex, race, date of birth and the state where they live to the FBI. They can also submit their Social Security Number, but they aren’t required to.

  • Denials can be issued for several reasons.

  • The biggest reason for denials is conviction for a major crime. Gun sales can also be denied because a prospective buyer has had a restraining order for domestic violence against them or has mental health issues, among other things.

  • Around 1 percent of checks result in a denial.

  • The FBI does more than 10 million background checks each year. Around 1 percent of background checks result in a denial — that was 150,013 out of 10,764,237 checks in 2009. Between 1998 and 2012, the FBI issued 987,578 denials.

  • Not every gun sale requires a background check.

  • Private sales are exempt from the background check system. That includes selling your gun to a friend, relative or stranger as well as many sales at gun shows.

  • Closing the gun show loophole is extremely popular.

  • In a December poll by USA Today and Gallup, 92 percent of adults surveyed supported requiring background checks for people buying guns at gun shows.

  • It’s even popular among NRA members.

  • A survey conducted in July by noted Republican pollster Frank Luntz for the pro-gun control Mayors Against Illegal Guns found that 74 percent of NRA members supported requiring background checks for anyone purchasing a gun.

  • A task force will likely recommend expanding background checks.

  •  Barrier 2

  • https://i2.wp.com/www.qando.net/wp-content/uploads/dailybeastguns.jpg

  • By the way for those not in the know the 2 primary reasons for an adjustable (not folding) stock and a pistol grip are the same. To give the user better more comfortable and surer control over the weapon thereby reducing the chance of shots not going where they are intended to. In other words- to allow enhanced and positive control of the weapon.

  • http://i.ebayimg.com/t/YOU-ARE-NOT-TAKING-MY-GUNS-2nd-amendment-gun-rights-pro-gun-hunting-decal-/00/s/Mzk3WDQxMw==/$T2eC16d,!)8E9s4l8hzyBQCH313Wug~~60_35.GIF

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  • The Bubba Method

  • “R” rated.

    A football coach noticed that his star tackle, Bubba, had so many women hanging around that he couldn’t possibly handle all of them. So one day he asked Bubba,  “Just what the hell is your secret?”

    Bubba replies, “Well Coach, whenever I’m about to have sex, I always whip it out and bang it on the dresser like a hammer. That numbs it and I can screw ’em forever! They always come back for more.”

    The more he thought about it, the more excited the coach got at the prospect, so that day he went home early. When he got to his bedroom, he could hear his wife in the shower.

    “Perfect!” he thought, so he tore off his clothes and started banging his cock on the dresser.

    His wife stuck her head out of the shower and said, “That you, Bubba?”

    Twice?

    The husband was watching late nite TV, and his wife had gone to bed.

    A loud scream comes from the bedroom and the husband runs back to see what was wrong with his wife…

    He sees a guy leaping out of the window. His wife yells, “That guy just screwed me twice!”

    He says, “Twice? Why didn’t you call me in after he screwed you once?”

    She answered, “Because I thought it was you — until he started the second time.”

    Introspection Outside the Box

    AMERICA – Land Of The Brave…Home Of The Freeloader.

    When you borrow from Peter to pay Paul, Paul will always vote for you.

  • Bank of America - Bank of Hoplophobia

  • customers are getting screwed

    Finally if the Democrats and Obama have ANY SHRED of Political Integrity one of the things discussed will be an Order to the Agencies in charge of Banking Oversight to force a certain Banks to cease its unlawful attempts to force their customers out of the gun industry by unreasonably and unlawfully discriminating against their own customers, there by interfering with not only our 2nd Amendment Rights, but Interstate Commerce and the Economic Recovery as well!

    What the hell am I talking about? Here are 2 examples-

    First there was this little dust up back in April 2012-

    Gun manufacturer says Bank of America doesn’t want its business

    An Arizona-based firearms company says it is being treated unfairly by Bank of America for the type of business it does, a claim the bank denies.

    Kelly McMillian, operations director of the McMillian companies – which makes rifles, ammunition, gunstocks and related firearms equipment – said a bank vice president explained at a meeting last week that he no longer wanted McMillan’s business because the companies manufacture firearms.

    http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2012/04/27/gun-manufacturer-says-bank-american-doesnt-want-his-business/

    Being a case of ’He said- She Said’ because McMillian unwisely but understandable drag this out into the light of public scrutiny before getting BoA to commit to this position with paperwork, they of course denied the entire affair and basically claimed McMillan was lying but offered no reasonable explanation for why they would do so and failed to state what exactly their policy was on gun industry customers.

    Now come December 2012, this time a ‘small business’ custom gun parts manufacturer yet again in Arizona runs into problems with BoA because its in the gun business!

    Small business owner claims bank froze funds from gun sales

    American Spirit Arms owner sounds off

    Scottsdale, AZ –-(Ammoland.com)- My name is Joe Sirochman owner of American Spirit Arms and I wanted to share my recent experience with Bank of America (which we have been doing business with for over 10 years).

    Everyone is familiar with the latest increase in guns sales , dealers selling out of inventory, manufacturers back logged for months, large amounts revenue all generated in the last weeks.

    American Spirit Arms is no exception to the overwhelming demand. What we have experienced is that our web site orders have jumped 500% causing our web site E commerce to be sending much larger deposits to BANK OF AMERICA.

    Well, this threw up a huge RED Flag with Bank of America. So they decided to hold the deposits for further review, meaning that the orders/payments that were coming in through the web, being paid by honest customers, for goods that were shipped out by American Spirit Arms, were all help by the bank “UNDER REVIEW”

    As you could imagine this made me furious…After countless hours on the phone with BANK OF AMERICA I finally got a manager in the right department that told me the reason that the deposits were on hold for FURTHER REVIEW …HER EXACT WORDS WERE AS FOLLOWS…

    “WE BELIEVE YOU SHOULD NOT BE SELLING GUNS and GUN PARTS ON THE INTERNET “

    http://www.foxnews.com/on-air/america-live/index.html#/v/2081584002001/small-business-owner-claims-bank-froze-funds-from-gun-sales/?playlist_id=87651

  • So apparently BoA has determined that it can get around the entire issue of your Second Amendment right to keep and bear arms by quietly making it impossible for gun manufacturers to conduct their business with you. One has to wonder what’s going on with BoA, first it was all the illegal/questionable mortgages, then it was sloppy foreclosure practices demonstrating at best total indifference to their customers and the lives they were harming, then the bailout so their executives could get bonuses, now this. Maybe they should consider a name change to The Evil Financial Empire For the Oppression and Dominance of Sheeple. Their tellers could all dress up as Dominatrixes and their Executives like the Gestapo guy in Indiana Jones & the Last Crusade!

  • Gun Bumper Stickers

    You’ll be helping the economic recovery, protecting not only your Second Amendment Rights but yourself, you loved one(S) and your home as well! Not to mention the uptick in sales will give liberals, Democrats and the Obama Administration a clear message to say nothing of a spectacular slap in the face!

  • SPEAKING of face slaps, this just in as I am putting the finishing touches on this Parting Shot-

    GOP Congressman says will impeach Obama – response to Assault Weapons Ban

    Texas Republican Rep. Steve Stockman said Monday he would file articles of impeachment against Obama as a response to Obama’s executive actions to ban assault weapons, magazine, and ammunition.

    Stockman said such orders were “unconstitutional” and “infringe on our constitutionally-protected right to keep and bear arms.”

    “I will seek to thwart this action by any means necessary, including but not limited to eliminating funding for implementation, defunding the White House, and even filing articles of impeachment,” Stockman said in a statement.

    Stockman said the ban was “an existential threat to this nation” because, he said, the purpose of the Second Amendment is to allow the people to protect themselves from tyranny.

    “Any proposal to abuse executive power and infringe upon gun rights must be repelled with the stiffest legislative force possible,” he added. “Under no circumstances whatsoever may the government take any action that disarms any peaceable person — much less without due process through an executive declaration without a vote of Congress or a ruling of a court.”

    Stockman also said such gun policy would be “not just an attack on the Constitution,” but also an “attack on Americans.”

    “If the president is allowed to suspend constitutional rights on his own personal whims, our free republic has effectively ceased to exist,” he said.

    “A lot of people are frustrated with the Republicans [for] not fighting back, and I for one was, too. I was on the sidelines, and got involved with Congress, and I said enough is enough, and we need to stand up and fight. And I said these kind of tools are available to us, and we’re going to use every tool possible to fight an administration which wants to abrogate the Constitution.”

    “I think we outlined multiple avenues…It’s defending the Constitution in any ways we can legally, and that process has many different avenues. We’re willing to take those to defend the Constitution. I think it the right thing to do.

     

    Does this threat hold more than 10 rounds water? I have to admit this issue exceeds my understanding of Constitutional law so I’m a wee out of my depth here but going out on a limb I cans ay I’m PRETTY sure he can BRING the charges. Now whether  or not the articles would get out of review and out for a vote, much less a successful vote to impeach, that’s a gun of a different caliber different story all together.

    My guess? OK, at WORST, a defiant symbolic but ultimately useless and attention diverting gesture/slap in the face/bucket of cold water.

    LIKELY? A compromise to avoid the time and energy such charges would require. Obama backs off on the Assault Weapons and high capacity magazines and finally realizes that Executive Orders are NOT going to get him around the will of WE THE PEOPLE every time he cannot have his way in Congress.

    AT BEST? The Impeachment proceedings run their course. I cannot say if he would be successfully Impeached (THAT also opens an entirely different can of worms, I mean are we REALLY sure in 6 months we’d be thankful for President “Uncle Dirty Mouthed Joe” Biden?).  I’m pretty sure the question of the Second Amendment, the Founding Fathers intentions for it and a couple other key gun ownership issues that the Liberal and Democrats keep harping on just like the Conservatives and Republicans harp on Abortion would get hashed out and laid to rest at least for a while. Probably along with some sort of guidelines for when the use of Executive Orders is permissible and what exactly constitutes misuse of them. Neither of the last 2 outcomes might be what WE THE PEOPLE want, but maybe its what we really need.

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    About lethalleprechaun

    I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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