I’m basically devoting as little time to this issue as possible. A spare minute here and there because I’m trying to take the week off w/o actually taking the week off. If Impish can get fallen all over for just dumping the contents of a Hard Drive file into the blog editor and calling it a post, well I’m fine with not breaking my neck over a holiday issue and having one myself for a change instead. Don’t worry I’ll probably put just a little bit more effort than that into it
Yup it’s the 200th issue of Leprechaun Laughs. You people made it plenty clear that milestones and anniversary’s don’t mean much as far as the blog goes so that enough discussing of this one right there.
I would however like to take this opportunity to acknowledge and thanks those of you who(apologetically) posted comments or wrote me directly post 3rd Leprechaun Laughs Anniversary. Several of you had some interesting and valid observations which I promise will be taken into account while I re-evaluate my time commitments.
I have no time table for this as I want to be sure I do it objectively, calmly and most importantly arrive at the correct (for me) answers.
Let’s get a move on shall we? I have summer holiday fun to get to and a hard drive full of miscellaneous what not stands between me and a tall cold beverage under an umbrella and a good book while gourmet game burgers grill.
The unfortunate sad truth is the former is largely not the case any longer and the government wants to prosecute that latest person they should be proud of.
The Top 10 Failed Water Park Attractions
- The Bidet of Terror!
- Nothin’-But-Bullies Drowning Pool
- Big Blister Dry Slide
- The On-Our-Attorney’s-Advice-You-Must-Sign-a-Waiver Wave Pool
- Perv Lookout
- Arctic Shrinkage Experience
- Cap’n Cheney’s Waterboarding Adventure
- The Colonblaster Extreme Waterslide
- Showers O’ Gold!
#1 Failed Water Park Attraction…
- Seniors Changing Room House of Horrors
Died with shame…
“I died of shame!” she answers!
“ Why?” Her Mother asked.
Annie said, “Karen from down the road, says that the stork brings babies. Sally next door said you can buy babies at the orphanage. Peter in my class says you can buy babies at the hospital.”
Her mother answers laughingly “But that’s no reason to be ashamed?”
“No, but I can’t tell them that we were so poor that you and daddy had to make me yourselves!”
The Star Spangled Banner Lyrics By Francis Scott Key 1814
Oh, say can you see by the dawn’s early light
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars thru the perilous fight,
O’er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?
And the rocket’s red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?
On the shore, dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe’s haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o’er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning’s first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines in the stream:
‘Tis the star-spangled banner! Oh long may it wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle’s confusion,
A home and a country should leave us no more!
Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps’ pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
Oh! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved home and the war’s desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heav’n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: “In God is our trust.”
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
For you on the Looney Left or if you have A.D.D. and couldn’t be bothered to read all 4 verses let me call your attention to the 4th verse which from my view point is as important as the first and should be sung as often as possible to remind us of the very thing the Left so desperately hates and would see struck from our government and society. RETIRED MARINE LEWIS SOUND OFF!
Today’s ‘undetermined specimen’ comes from K-Squared who was kind enough to even do the research for me before forwarding this to me.
Post Office Buildings for Sale
The US has entered into a contract with a real estate firm to sell 56 buildings that currently house U.S. Post Offices. The government has decided it no longer needs these buildings, many of which are located on prime land in towns and cities across the country.
The sale of these properties will fetch billions of dollars and a handsome 6% commission to the company handling the sales. That company belongs to a man named Richard Blum. Who is Richard Blum you ask?
Why the husband of Senator Dianne Feinstein, that’s who. What a bunch of crooks we have running this country!
Senator Feinstein and her husband, Richard Blum, stand to make a fortune. His firm, C.R. I., is the sole real estate company offering these properties for sale. Of course, C.R.I. Will be making a 6% commission on the sale of each and every one of these postal properties.
All of these properties that are being sold are all fully paid for. They were purchased with U.S. Taxpayers dollars, and they are allowed free and clear by the U.S.P.S. The only cost to keep them is the cost to actually keep the doors open and the heat and lights on. The United States Postal Service doesn’t even have to pay property taxes on these subject properties. Would you sell your house just because you couldn’t afford to pay the electric bill?
Well, the Post Office is.
How does a powerful U.S. Senator from San Francisco manage to get away with such a sweet deal?
A powerful United States Senator’s husband is standing by, all ready to make millions from a U.S. Taxpayer funded enterprise.
No one in the mainstream media is even raising an eyebrow over his 6% commission on the sale of hundreds of millions of dollar’s worth of quasi-public assets.
Pass this info on before it’s pulled from the Internet.
True on Snopes: http://www.snopes.com/politics/business/blum.asp
Yuppers boys and girls while no less objectionable or foul smelling for its accuracy this one IS substantially true and more or less accurate. Though as SNOPES does point out there IS one slight…’overstatement’ in the piece.
It occurs to me that there are a million situations were friends and family or employees are prohibited from entering contests and all sorts of other situations to prevent any suspicion of impropriety. WHY isn’t that a law when dealing with the Federal Government? I know that it IS the law in some states when it comes to municipal and state governments!
The President and First Lady have to put all their interests in a managed trust while in office so why doesn’t Congress?
In any event this one is certified:
Golf Club Sign
Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland UK:
1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.
2. FORM A LOOSE GRIP.
3.. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!
4. AVOID A QUICK BACK SWING.
5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.
6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.
7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU
8. DON’T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.
9. QUIET PLEASE…WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.
10.. DON’T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.
NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF
Did I read that sign right?
In an office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER…….. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
Outside a second-hand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING – BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN? [Wonder what I could get for a Dragon?]
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN’T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
Notice in a farmer’s field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR – THE BELL DOESN’T WORK).
4 Government Conspiracies That Make PRISM Look Pedestrian
by Jillian Scharr, TechNewsDaily Staff Writer June 14 2013 04:33 PM ET
As you might have noticed, there was a theme interlaced with all the other assorted what not today. I’m still on an NSA/Big Brother privacy violations theme of a sorts. Primarily because I got so many good editorial cartoons about the situation from many different sources which we rapidly going stale and wanted to use them before they went totally out of date. IT seems that PRISM has drawn all the Conspiracy Theorists back out of the shadows to the glare of their computer monitors (computer monitor having taking on a whole new context) that I probably could have devoted an entire issue to calling bullshit but didn’t want to put the effort into it or stink the place up that badly quite frankly.
S0 instead I thought we’d take a humorous tour of the weird world of governmental conspiracy theories. Everyone don their tinfoil hats and chemtrail defeating masks now!
As far as government schemes come, the NSA’s super-surveillance PRISM program sounds like something straight out of dystopian science fiction.
But conspiracy theorists would say that PRISM, which stands for “Planning Tool for Resource Integration, Synchronization, and Management,” isn’t that surprising. In fact, some of the projects and investigations that the U.S. government is rumored to be conducting make PRISM look pretty unremarkable.
Now that’s not to say that even a fraction of what you’ll hear from famous conspiracy theorist Alex Jones or conspiracy forum abovetopsecret.com is true. But most theories have a kernel of truth at their core. [Why the NSA’s PRISM Program Shouldn’t Surprise You]
For example, did you know that Area 51 is a real place? It’s a high-security portion of Edwards Air Force Base, located near Groom Lake, Nev.
Now, there probably aren’t actual extraterrestrial remains or flying saucer artifacts at Area 51, but if evidence of alien life existed, that’s a likely place you would find it.
Alien life aside, here are four other alleged government programs — some confirmed, some rumored and some just plain crazy.
PLOT: International surveillance system
LIKELIHOOD: A stretch
PRISM is child’s play compared to ECHELON, an alleged worldwide network of radio satellites and intelligence-gathering equipment.
First, here’s what we know for sure: In 1946, the United States and United Kingdom signed an agreement called the UKUSA Signals Intelligence Agreement to share covert intelligence gathered from radio surveillance. UKUSA (standing for United Kingdom United States Agreement, pronounced “eu-koo-sa”) later expanded to include Australia, New Zealand and Canada, and is now sometimes called the “Five Eyes” agreement.
Rumors say that the countries accomplished the agreement’s goals with a program called ECHELON, in which the nations spied on their own citizens and shared the information with each other. What ECHELON is, exactly, isn’t clear. However, there is some evidence that something called ECHELON does, in fact, exist.
The term ECHELON appears in several official and semi-official documents, including author and journalist James Bamford’s books on the National Security Agency. A commission from the European Parliament in 2001 concluded that ECHELON does exist and that it has some kind of civilian surveillance capability.
There are plenty of theories that fill in the informational gaps. Some, for example, believe that UKUSA was actually an agreement wherein the United States and United Kingdom agreed to spy on each other’s citizens for each other and share the information.
Others say that British Princess Diana was one of ECHELON’s targets, and the program had gathered massive amounts of information on her at the time of her death. [See also: Future Metadata Will Reveal Even More About You]
Even if ECHELON exists, though, reports of its capabilities are most likely greatly exaggerated. It seems unlikely that this type of big-data collection and analysis was even possible a few decades ago.
PLOT: Weaponized weather control
LIKELIHOOD: Nearly impossible
HAARP, or the High-frequency Active Aurora Research Project, is definitely real — but probably not in the way that conspiracy theorists envision it.
According to the program’s official site, the HAARP installation is a research station located in Alaska that investigates the “fundamental physical principles which govern the earth’s ionosphere,” an electrically charged layer about 200 miles high in the atmosphere.
The station houses a powerful radio transmitter called the Ionosphere Research Instrument. Comprised of a series of 180 antennae capable of blasting powerful and highly targeted radio waves, the device is “used to stimulate small, well-defined volumes of ionosphere” in order to study the layer’s behavior.
Some people, however, believe that HAARP can control the weather and could even be used as a weapon.
According to some scientists, highly concentrated radio waves could push into the ionosphere, shifting its location with respect to Earth’s surface. This might affect the air pressure and weather patterns beneath the layer, causing unstable weather patterns and powerful storms.
Conspiracy theorists therefore believe that the government could use HAARP to create highly targeted storms and other extreme weather systems. These theorists often blame HAARP and the handful of other ionosphere observation stations around the world when a natural disaster occurs.
PLOT: Slipping enemies LSD
LIKELIHOOD: It’s real
From the late 1940s to the early 1970s, government researchers were getting high as a kite on LSD while investigating truth drugs, chemical persuasion and mind control.
In the MKUltra program, U.S. military researchers experimented with LSD (lysergic acid diethylamide) and other hallucinogenic drugs to facilitate interrogations. In some cases, the researchers themselves served as test subjects; there are reports of two researchers going into a closed room, taking LSD and observing the results.
In other cases, however, test subjects were unaware that they had been given LSD. Officials conducted these experiments to test the effects of unexpected hallucinations, but the results were, predictably, unpredictable.
Later, researchers expanded the study to see if LSD could be used in covert operations to sabotage or even influence enemy combatants or politicians. The CIA even considered slipping LSD to Cuban dictator Fidel Castro, though apparently that never worked out.
In 1973, CIA director Richard Helms had all MKUltra files destroyed. A year later, The New York Times published an article on the program that prompted a congressional investigation. [See also: How Well Do You Know the CIA?]
PLOT: The gay bomb and other “incapacitation” of enemy troops
PROGRAM: The so-called “gay bomb” (no formal designation)
LIKELIHOOD: Real, but failed
In the 1990s, the United States was researching nonlethal chemical warfare. One of the possibilities the military looked into was dropping an aphrodisiac on enemy troops, which would cause “homosexual behavior.”
Reports from the U.S. Air Force Wright Laboratory in Dayton, Ohio, which were later obtained under a Freedom of Information Act request, describe such a weapon as “distasteful but completely non-lethal.”
Other non-lethal chemical possibilities included substances that would attract bees and wasps, make enemies’ skin supersensitive to sunlight, or produce “severe and lasting halitosis” that would mark enemies even when they tried to blend in with a crowd.
The military eventually determined that none of these ideas were feasible. The so-called “gay bomb,” for example, relies on the theory of human airborne pheromones, about which there are still only very incomplete and problematic studies.