Dragon Laffs #1336


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Good Morning Campers!  Let’s jump right into the fun!

“Oh, you’re my best friend!”

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So…are you a Geek, or a nerd?  Or are you a little of each (like your friendly Impish Dragon)?  Believe it or not, there is a difference.  Or so says the make use of website.  Read on dear camper, read on… 

Can you call yourself a “geek” or a “nerd” just because you feel like it? If you’re wondering if geeks and nerds are the same, they’re not. Geeks may be loosely defined as enthusiasts, obsessed with cool and trendy things. Nerds, on the other hand, are more intellectual and painstakingly focus on acquiring knowledge in a particular topic or field.

To prove this distinction, Burr Settles — data scientist, software engineer, and author of Active Learning — published the results of his experiment which illustrated words that accompany the terms geek and nerd.

Here are the results:

geek vs nerd

Words that accompany the term geek were plotted on the y axis, and nerdy words on the x axis. In general, orange words are geeky, blue words are nerdy. The affinity for these words to their terms increases further along the axes — that is to say that “culture” is more often associated with geeks than “collections”; “biochemistry”, “neuroscience” and “salary” are nerdier words compared to “exams” and “teachers”. Words along the x=y plotted line are just as geeky as they are nerdy.

Read Burr’s breakdown of his experiment on his blog, Slackpropagation.

So, are you a geek or a nerd?

I love this one!  He almost gets her to do it!  And I understand completely why he wants to try!5b

Boy, we surely love getting letters…here’s the latest…from my buddy Wheats:5a

Couldn’t find my usual dish soap but noticed that DAWN has a stunning array of new scents in their line.

Not sure if any of your family was ground up to make this new fragrance but…seems an interesting new change.

Dear Wheats,

You know, I have been missing some of my more fruity family members, lately.  I just thought I was lucky, that they were leaving me alone, but now…I’m not so sure.  I think I’ll get right to looking for them and checking them out.  Yup, I’ll get right to that. 

Yup.  Just as soon as I get done with this important task.  Umm…important….task….

 

5cOkay, so yeah, this guy summons one of my fire spirit brothers and he thinks he’s done something fantastic?  I hardly think so.

Look at the size of that poor little thing.  He either summoned a poor decrepit older fire dragon or a little baby, who couldn’t defend himself, anyway!  Let’s see how he feels when he summons a full grown, mature fire dragon and has to deal with that kind of attitude and anger.

Like this little … um … lady?

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Angry, vengeful, despicable, unforgiving, hurtful, … she’s a really nasty sort.
How do I know?
That’s my ex.
That picture was taken on our honeymoon.

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Okay, this one is just too great not to share!  What a tremendous idea and great carry through!  But, of course, if you aren’t on the website then you have no idea what the heck I’m talking about.  So, go to http://dragonlaffs.com and view the video for yourself!  Trust me, this one is really worth it!

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Shout this from the hill tops!  From the ROOF TOPS!  Let everyone know.  Finally, someone is willing to speak out!  This guy (so far, anyway) gets re-elected!

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Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman, were out for a stroll in town one day. As they walked, they come across a sign:”Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world .”

“I am entering!” said Snow White. After half an hour she comes out and they ask her,”Well, how’d ya do?” ” First Place !” said Snow White.

They continue walking and they see a sign: “Contest for the strongest man in the world .” “I’m entering,” says Superman. After half an hour, he returns and they ask him,”How did you make out?” ” First Place ,” answers Superman. “Did you have any doubt?”

They continue walking when they see a sign: “Contest! Who is the greatest liar in the world?” Pinocchio enters. After half an hour he returns,with tears in his eyes.

“What happened?” they asked.

“Who the hell is Obama?” asks Pinocchio.

 

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Thinking Big is the only way to go!

 

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So yeah, this is what I look like most days!!

 

 

Sally Mullihan of Coral Springs, Florida decided to take one of the jobs that most Americans are not willing to do.

The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed to be far too qualified for the job.
 
She had a liberal arts degree from the University of Michigan and had worked as a social worker and school teacher.
 
The foreman frowned and said, “I have to ask you, have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?”
 
“Well, as a matter of fact, I have!  I’ve been divorced three times, owned 2 Chrysler’s and voted for Obama.”

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I met her at a party in the mid 70s.  Lovely girl.  I helped put that kaleidoscope in her eyes.  I’d tell you what I used, but I’m not sure the statute of limitations isn’t still in effect and I know the DEA is extremely interested in the substance I used.  You party with a dragon, and you party with the best! Most humans have a lot of trouble with Brimstone, but this girl was fine….just fine.

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Damn splinters!

Personally, I don’t really care if Rodney said all of these or not.  They’re funny and that’s what matters most.

Why we miss Rodney Dangerfield……….

Because he said ….

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose.  Last night she used me to time an egg.

It’s tough to stay married.  My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass!

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.

A girl phoned me and said, ‘Come on over. There’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home!

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

I went to a massage parlor. It was self-service.

If it weren’t for pickpockets, I’d have no sex life at all.

I was making love to this girl and she started crying I said, ‘Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?’ She said, ‘No, I hate myself now.’

I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That’s when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head comes off.

I knew a girl so ugly… they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.

I’m so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.

The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, ‘Why?’ He said, ‘Because you came home early.’

My wife’s such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.

I know I’m not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night.

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Hi ya campers!  It’s almost 10 pm on Friday night, and since Independence Day is right around the corner I hear firecrackers, fireworks, explosions and flashes of light in the sky and it’s been going on for most of the month of June.  I know that most of these early “celebrations” involve copious amounts of alcohol as well as fireworks bought legally and otherwise. 

Now, I’m not making any judgments on what should or should not be legal to buy and where it should be sold.  I want all you guys to just be CAREFUL.  Do you know, the huge numbers of people who are hurt each year by fireworks?

Fireworks Injuries

Fireworks are often a part of special times like the 4th of July and New Year’s Eve. But fireworks can be dangerous. In 2008, an estimated 7,000 people—an average of more than 19 people every day—were treated in emergency departments for injuries sustained from fireworks¹, and more than half of those injured were children. Whenever you celebrate, learn how to protect yourself and those you care about from fireworks–related injuries.  Continue reading here.

For those of you interested strictly in the facts:

Firework Industry Statistics Data
Pounds of fireworks purchased each year in the US 213.2 lbs
Annual fireworks industry revenue $940 million
Firework Injury Statistics Data
Number of injuries per 100 lbs of Fireworks used 3.5
Number of deaths in the US annually due to fireworks 4
Number of serious injuries in the US each year by fireworks 9,300
Percent of injuries caused by illegal fireworks 40 %
Percent of injuries incurred by kids under the age of 14 45 %
Number of Americans who lose sight in one or both eyes due to fireworks 400
Number of US fires caused each year due to fireworks 20,000
Percent of all US fire dollar loss caused by fireworks 0.1 %
Firework Injuries by Type of Device Data
Firecrackers 32 %
Sky Rockets 15 %
Sparklers 10 %
Fountains 7 %
Spinners & Novelties 5 %
Roman Candles 4 %
Reloadable Mortars 3 %
Other 9 %
Unknown 15 %

Pretty amazing, right?

And here is a really good infographic from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission:
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And in conclusion, here is a great video showing you the destructive powers of some of the most common fireworks. http://www.cpsc.gov/Newsroom/Multimedia/?vid=61695   Let me just tell each and everyone of you guys to be careful, have fun and be well, until we see you again next week.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

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One Response to Dragon Laffs #1336

  1. Just wondering what happened to the breast cancer site link. I’ve missed it the last few posts.

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