Good Morning Campers!
After a crazy, crazy week, I’m finishing this up at the last minute. And by last minute, I really mean that the posting time is in less than two hours.
Now, don’t let the fact that this is at the beginning of the post make you worry. It’s all about 90% done, I just have to kind of put the icing on the cake.
Have you ever made a cake?
The cake is the easy part, isn’t it?
Yeah, the tough and time consuming part is …?
So, whadda ya say we get these puppies iced!
I guess I shouldn’t have used the words puppies.
Today I had to go to the Drug store. As I approached the entrance,
I noticed a driver looking for a parking space.
I flagged the driver and pointed out
A handicap parking space
That was open and available.
The driver looked puzzled,
Rolled down her window and said,
“I’m not handicapped!”
Well, as you can imagine, my face was red!
“Oh, I’m sorry” I said. “I saw your Obama bumper
Sticker and just assumed that you suffer from a mental disorder.”
She gave me the finger and screamed
Some nasty names at me.
Boy! Some people don’t appreciate it when
You’re just trying to help them out!
Okay, this one is SOOOOOO cool…if you like this sort of thing, which I, your intrepid host, find most interesting…. Let’s take a look at the …
But of course, if you are trying to watch this video on the email side, you’ll never see this GREAT show. So, Instead, go to http://dragonlaffs.com and view it there! Now, you’re getting it!
I’m not a paranoid, deranged millionaire. I’m a billionaire.
~ Howard Hughes
After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box.
~ Italian proverb
You know you’re a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn’t.
~ Jeff Foxworthy
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.
~ Prince Philip
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.
~ Emo Philips.
Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself.
~ Harrison Ford
The best cure for sea sickness is to sit under a tree.
~ Spike Milligan
Lawyers believe that a man is innocent until proven broke.
~ Robin Hall
Kill one man and you’re a murderer, kill a million and you’re a conqueror.
~ Jean Rostand.
Having more money doesn’t make you happier. I have 50 million dollars but I’m
~ Arnold Schwarzenegger.
We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea.
~ W.H. Auden
In hotel rooms I worry. I can’t be the only guy who sits on the furniture naked.
~ Jonathan Katz
If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would
~ Johnny Carson
I don’t believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we’re very skeptical.
~ Arthur C. Clarke
Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap.
~ Steve Martin
Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is.
~ Jimmy Durante
As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind – every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.
~ John Glenn
If toast always lands butter-side down and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat?
~ Steven Wright
The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone.
~ George Roberts
If God had intended us to fly, he would have made it easier to get to the airport.
~ Jonathan Winters
~ Robert Benchley
Okay, here’s another GREAT video. One of my favorite groups (Heart) is covering one of my other favorite groups (Lead Zeppelin) with one of my all time favorite songs (Stairway To Heaven). The really cool part is that the original Lead Zeppelin guys are in the audience. Even cooler yet? It’s in the Kennedy Center while they are honoring Lead Zeppelin. One of the uncool parts is the Obama’s in the audience, having fun while the country melts down. Mr. President, don’t you have work to do?
Continuing on with movie night…or …um… morning or whatever. Continuing on with movie time. Yeah, that’s it, movie time. You all know that I am Air Force through and through and the Thunderbirds, to me, are the premier flying team in the world. But, I know that there are others out there, rightfully so, that believe that there are other flying teams that are as good or better than my dear Thunderbirds. Well, here’s a short video of one of them, the Navy’s Blue Angels. These guys are pretty good, too.
A priest and a nun were lost in a snowstorm. After a while, they came
upon a small cabin. God is faithful, they both agreed, and they prepared
to go to sleep. There was a stack of blankets and a sleeping bag on the
floor but only one bed.
Being a gentleman, the priest said, “Sister, you sleep on the bed. I’ll
sleep on the floor in the sleeping bag.” Just as he got zipped up in the
bag and was beginning to fall asleep, the nun said “Father, I’m cold.”
He unzipped the sleeping bag, got up, got the blanket and put it on her.
Once again, he got into the sleeping bag, zipped it up and started to
drift off to sleep when the nun once again said, “Father, I’m cold.” He
unzipped the bag, got up again, put another blanket on her and got into
the sleeping bag once again.
Just as his eyes closed, she said, “Father, I’m sooooo cold.” This
time, he remained there and said, “Sister, I have an idea. We’re out
here in the wilderness where no one will ever know what happened. Let’s
pretend we’re married.”
The nun said, “That’s fine by me.” To which the priest yelled out, “Get
up and get your own stupid blanket!”
There was a group of women at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband.
The women were asked, “How many of you love your husbands?”
All the women raised their hands.
Then they were asked, “When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?”
Some women answered today, some yesterday, some didn’t remember.
The women were then told to take their phones and send the following text: “I love you, sweetheart.”
Then the women were told to exchange phones and read the responding text messages.
Here are some of the replies:
1. Who is this?
2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick?
3. I love you too.
4. What now? Did you crash the car again?
5. I don’t understand what you mean?
6. What did you do now?
8. Don’t beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?
9. Am I dreaming?
10. If you don’t tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.
11. I thought we agreed we would not to drink during the day.
12. Your mother is coming to stay, isn’t she??
A minister was seated next to a cowboy on a flight to Texas. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The cowboy asked for a whiskey and soda, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would like a drink.
He replied in disgust, “I’d rather be savagely raped by brazen whores than let liquor touch my lips.”
The cowboy then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, “Me too. I didn’t know we had a choice.”
When a woman wears leather clothing
A man’s heart beats quicker
His throat gets dry
He goes week in the knees
And he begins to think irrationally
Ever wonder why?
Because she smells like a new truck!!!
The Government Spying on innocent Americans!
The Bullshit Sequestration!
The Bullshit Furloughs!
The IRS Scandal!
The Benghazi LIES!
Michelle’s $3,000+ a night hotel room.
The Obamas playing the Beverly Hillbillies with our money at the same time that I’m taking a 40% cut in pay! (Did I mention the bullshit Sequestration and Furloughs?)
Money to terrorists and rebels!
Money to other countries when Americans are starving and homeless!
A welfare state of 50%!
Americans NOT acting like Americans! We don’t need someone to take care of us! REAL AMERICANS take care of themselves and work for what they want!
A revolution is coming, my friends. It must. What kind of a world are we leaving for our children and our grandchildren? It’s time for real Americans to stand up. We are looking for some leaders!
Be warned you takers and fakers, your end is near! REAL Americans are NOT going to take it for much longer.