Dragon Laffs #1292


Header11adult1_thumb1_thumb_thumbWhat a strange mixture of opening comments to we have for you wonderful campers today!  Believe it or not, today is International Coffee Day!  This is what Wikipedia has to say about the “holiday”: International Coffee Day (also known as Coffee Day or National Coffee Day) is an annual event observed on September 29 for the celebration and50 enjoyment of the popular beverage coffee. This day is also used to promote fair trade coffee and to raise awareness for the plight of the coffee growers. On this 53day, many businesses around the world offer free or discounted cups of coffee. Some businesses share coupons and special deals with their loyal followers via social networking. Some greeting card companies sell National Coffee Day greeting cards, as well as free e-cards to help celebrate the occasion.  I was just informed by Lethal, that his coffee attack dog, Valdez, now has his armor on in order to protect the Leprechaun’s precious brown gold.  As a matter of fact, while I sit here on Friday night, I’m drinking coffee from my official Dragon Laffs mug!  6aThere’s a new health item out called green coffee bean extract.  supposed to be good for you.  Hell, if it’s made out of coffee, it must be good for you.

The next thing I want to talk to you about is that Monday is the first of October and, as everybody knows, especially those of you who follow this newsletter with any regularity, October is the beginning of Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  A month that is very special to your favorite blue IMG_2649dragon, Impish.  See these wonderful pink survival bracelets and other stuff that your blue pal Impish made?  These are available for sale with the proceeds going to the Breast Cancer Site.  The folks who provide free mammograms to women.  Any of you who are interested can write to me and I’ll be happy to make one for you and/or give you a quote.  All you need do is measure your wrist for a bracelet, or tell me you’d like a pink pace counter or one of the key chains.  Each will be hand made by me… Enjoy!
I think it’s now time to get this laughter started!

 

A little old lady goes into the store to do some shopping.She is bewildered over the large selection of toilet paper.
“Pardon me, sir,” she says to the store manager, “but can you explain the differences in all these toilet papers?”
“Well,” he replies pointing out one brand, “this is as soft as a baby’s kiss. It’s $1.50 per roll.”
He grabs another and says, “This is nice and soft as a bunny, strong but gentle, and it’s $1.00 a roll.”
Pointing to the bottom shelf he tells her, “We call that our No Name brand, and it’s 20 cents per roll.”
“Give me the No Name,” she says.
She comes back about a week later, seeks out the manager and says, “Hey! I’ve got a name for your No Name toilet paper.  I call it John Wayne.”
“Why?” he asks.
“Because it’s rough, it’s tough and it don’t take crap off anybody!”

Lethal Leprechaun’s Rules of Life #128

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Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

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One day, this man, Tony, died. When he was sent to be judged, he was told that he had committed a sin, and that he could not go to heaven right away. He asked what he did and God told him that he cheated on his
income taxes, and that the only way he could get into heaven would be to sleep with a 500 pound, stupid, butt-ugly woman for the next five years and enjoy it.
Tony decided that this was a small price to pay for an eternity in heaven. So off he went with this enormous woman, pretending to be happy.As he was walking along,
he saw his friend Carlos up ahead. Carlos was with an
even bigger, uglier woman than he was with. When he approached Carlos he asked him what was going on, and Carlos replied, “I cheated on my income taxes and scammed the government out of a lot of money…even more then you did.”
They both shook their heads in understanding and figured that as long as they have to be with these women, they might as well hang out together to help pass the time.
Now Tony, Carlos, and their two beastly women were walking along, minding their own business when Tony and Carlos could have sworn that they saw their friend Jon up ahead, only this man was with an absolutely drop dead gorgeous supermodel centerfold. Stunned, Tony
and Carlos approached the man and in fact it was their friend Jon. They asked him how is he with this unbelievable goddess, while they were stuck with these god-awful women.
Jon replied, “I have no idea, and I’m definitely not complaining. This has been absolutely the best time of my life (and I’m dead,) and I have five years of the best sex any man could hope for to look forward to. There is only one thing that I can’t seem to understand. After every time we have sex, she rolls over and murmur’s to herself,
“Damn income taxes!


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Two young men were out in the woods on a camping trip, when the came upon this great trout brook. They stayed there all day, enjoying the fishing, which was super. At the end of the day, knowing that they would be graduating from college soon, they vowed that they would meet, in twenty years, at the same place and renew the experience. Twenty years later, they met and traveled to a spot near where they had been years before. They walked into the woods and before long came upon a brook. One of the men said to the other, “This is the place!”. The other replied, “No, it’s not!”. The first man said, “Yes, I do recognize the clover growing on the bank on the other side. To which the other man replied, “Silly, you can’t tell a brook by it’s clover.”
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The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, ‘This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?’ The boss told her he knew he’d closed the garage door, and walked into his office puzzled by the question.

As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant’s question about his ‘garage door.’

He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to ask, ‘When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer parked in there?’

  She smiled and said, ‘No, I didn’t. All I saw was an old mini van with two flat tires..

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This man walks in to a psychiatrist’s office and lies down on the couch. The shrink says, “What makes you think you need the services of a psychiatrist?” The man replies that he wakes up every night in the kitchen after some pretty crazy sleepwalking. The shrink says, “So, would you like me to try to cure you of sleepwalking?” The man explains that the sleepwalking isn’t really the problem. Every time he wakes up he is in the same place, doing the same thing – he has his pajamas around his ankles and his dick in a jar of peanuts. The psychiatrist says, “I think I know what your problem is. You’re fuckin’ nuts.”

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This is fantastic!  He NAILS it!!!  I so wish I had said these words, but I applaud him for saying them for him!!

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I don’t understand why so many people find this so difficult to understand.  This is just about as straight forward as you can get.
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View this and pass it along.  I sincerely feel for our countrymen living in Texas, New Mexico, and Arizona.  Those in La La Land, not so much. 

We have all heard what happens on our southern border but probably don’t know the half of all the horrors.
Powerful!! And absolutely factual! (Well, mostly probably.  It’s difficult to say that something is “absolutely factual” when you don’t offer any proof.  But, view it with an open mind and a grain of salt)
http://videos.allinnra.com/share Please take the time to view and pass it on as you see fit.  “Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” – Sir Winston Chruchill.
Did you catch Janet Napolitano’s quote?  “I think I know the border as well as anyone…”  Oh, come on!  Really?  You know it as well as the officers in charge of protecting it?  Although I realize that this is mostly a way for NRA to raise funds, it’s still scary in the truths it presents.  Our country is falling apart!  From the kids who got in trouble at school for wearing shirts with American Flags on them on May 5th (Cinco de Mayo) (check it out here) to the boy who got in trouble for wearing a rosary to school because it could be connected to a gang. (check that one out here) Come on!  Are we REALLY the country that kowtows to the vocal minority just to keep them quiet?  I’ve got something to say about it, too.  If you don’t like an environment where we wear American Flags to celebrate our country or Rosary Beads to celebrate our faith, then leave!  I don’t give a damn if you think that we (America) stole part of your (Mexico) country.  I don’t give a damn about the history of the trade or even if it was stolen outright.  It belongs to the United States.  And if you don’t want to be American and all it stands for?  Leave!  Go back to the excrement heap you came from.

And now the latest bullshit to come out of these people

Illegal migrants across U.S. taking protests to defiant new level

A growing number of undocumented immigrants in Arizona and other states are taking immigration protests to a new extreme, staging acts of civil disobedience by deliberately getting arrested in order to be turned over to federal immigration officials.

Often wearing T-shirts declaring themselves “undocumented and unafraid,” the protesters have sat down in streets and blocked traffic, or occupied buildings in several cities including Phoenix and Tucson.

Dozens of protesters have been arrested, but in almost every case, federal immigration officers have declined to deport those in the country illegally. Protesters say they are planning more acts of civil disobedience, including possibly in Phoenix.

The acts are intended to openly defy stepped-up immigration enforcement that has led to record deportations over the past three years.  (You can read the whole article here) 

What is it that these people don’t understand about the word ILLEGAL??!!  They are here illegally!  They are breaking the law!  And they think that civil disobedience is the answer?  Bull shit!  Get the hell out!  I’m so pissed!  And for that matter, so is Lethal.  Can you imagine going into … let’s say Mexico … and sitting down and blocking traffic until the country recognized you legally?  How long do you think that shit would last?  Yeah, about as long as that papier-mâché cat has while chasing the asbestos mouse through the fires of hell. 

So what makes them think they are so damn special?  I’ll tell you what.  This damn administration who has made a point of NOT doing anything about it, not only that, but have made it widely known that they REFUSE to do anything about it and will bring legal suit against those loyal Americans who DO try to uphold the LAWS.

ARGH!  And some of you people out there are STILL willing to vote for this evil empire!!!! 

WAKE UP AMERICA!!!!! 

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