Dragon Laffs #1288


Header49adult1_thumb1_thumbYup, that’s it.  That’s all the celebrating we’re going to do here at Dragon and Leprechaun Laffs Electronic Media, LLP.  Happy Labor Day!  and in complete and total celebration of Labor Day, I’m going to put a minimal effort into giving you my opinion and a maximum labor into making you Laff and enjoy your weekend!  So, without further ado and to get this three day weekend going….

Let’s Laugh!!!

 

VOTING IN CHICAGO : 

John Smith, a resident of Chicago, was a staunch conservative and voted straight line Republican until the day he died.

Now, he votes Democrat.


This one’s easy…it’s just called: RRRRUUUUUNNNNN!!!!!!
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Three friends decided to visit a prostitute. It was a slow night,
So she gave the guys a deal. “You can pay by the inch.”
When the first man comes back out his friends ask, “How much did she charge you?”
“$75 dollars,” said the first.
The second guy goes in and returns with a fee of $85. The first
two were proud of their prowess.
The third man goes in and returns, “How much did she charge you?” ask the first two.
” $20 dollars” replies the third.
The first two start laughing hysterically.
“Hey guys,” replied the third, “I’m not so stupid,
I paid on the way out instead of on the way in!”

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Wow, what a touching and moving video.  It touched my heart to watch.  Go to the website to watch, http://dragonlaffs.com

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Chelsea Clinton told Vogue Tuesday she has decided to embrace her inheritance and family legacy. Just what that means is open to speculation. Her parents thought that it meant she is running for office and her husband thought she was already cheating on him


Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani says he wonders if Joe Biden has the “mental capacity” to be President. If Americans were concerned about the mental capacity of a candidate, why do they always elect another career politician into the White House?


A Dallas couple has given birth to quintuplets. When the Octomom heard the news, she scoffed and said “Amateurs!”

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Okay, so this guy’s got a really good point.  I had to get a special adapter in order to get a good signal at my house.
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Resurrection
 
Last night on a planeI was sitting with
a friend I’ve known for many years, talking about church and a whole lot
of political things. Being a US Congressman, Louie visits a lot of
different churches in the area throughout the year and he told me of
what happened in a local church on this past Easter.

The pastor of this Baptist church had called all of the little children
to the front of the church, dressed in their cute Easter outfits and had
them sit around him.

He said “Today is Easter and you all look so handsome and beautiful.
Today we’re going to talk about the resurrection. Does anyone know what
the resurrection is?” One little boy raised his hand, and the pastor
said “Please tell us what the resurrection is”. The boy, proud that he
knew the answer, said in a clear loud voice “When you get one lasting
more than four hours, you gotta call a doctor!”

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The Mars Curiosity rover sent back photos which scientists suggested looked like California’s desert. That’s silly. The mountains and dust look about right but not even a planet the size of Mars could possibly have as many aliens as there are in California.”
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Thanks to Jonathon for this one called, Diplomacy In Action

Air Force One arrives at Heathrow Airport and President Obama strides to a warm and dignified reception from the Queen.

They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London, where they change to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched behind six white stallions. They continue on towards Buckingham Palace, waving to the thousands of cheering onlookers; all is going well.

Suddenly the right rear horse lets fly with the most horrendous earth-shattering fart. The smell is atrocious and both passengers in the carriage must use handkerchiefs over their noses. The fart shakes the coach, but the two dignitaries of State do their best to ignore the incident.

The Queen turns to President Obama, “Mr. President, please accept my regrets. I am sure you understand there are some things that even a Queen cannot control.”

Obama, always trying to be “Presidential,” replies: “Your Majesty, do not give the matter another thought. Until you mentioned it, I thought it was one of the horses.”

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The First Mars Review is in…

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It’s been postulated that this is a picture of the Leprechaun and myself back when we had been friends for only a short while…about a hundred years or so…
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and it has also been put forward that this is me in my human persona back in the 1800s:
99I will admit that it bears a striking resemblance to a recent picture of mine that I did sent out:
01a6Let’s put them side by side and equal out the lighting and see what we come up with:

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Yeah….maybe….although I was a lot thinner back in those days.  Got in just as much trouble though.  What do you guys think?

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Paul Sipiera, polar explorer, Harper College astronomy and and geology professor and NASA consultant is no gardener. He is the man who, while mowing the lawn, trimmed his own foot by cutting off three toes. In discussing the accident from a hospital bed he told reporters, “I made my mistake by calling 911 and asking for an ambulance; I should have called for a toe truck.”

A Texas redneck’s wife delivered a baby at 5 a.m. They named him Earl Lee.

Why are Venetian blinds the greatest invention in the history of mankind?  If it wasn’t for Venetian blinds, it would have been curtains for all of us.

A birth control pill for men, that’s fair. It makes more sense to take the bullets out of the gun than to wear a bullet-proof vest.

What is the term for someone who converts to another denomination? A Sects Change

My new theory on inertia doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.

To save money you can shut off all your electricity; you’ll soon be in the black.

Pizza Hut is expanding their operations by building a 24 story training center which will be dubbed the Learning Tower of Pizza.

In 1902 The first gum factory opened. An employee fell into a vat, and his boss chewed him out.

I’m not having a bad hair day; I’m suffering from ‘Rebellious Follicle Syndrome’.

It is impossible to say “Good Eye Might” without sounding like a friendly Australian.

I only listen to waltzes 3/4 of the time.

I knew this woman who wanted to marry a ghost….
I don’t know what possessed her!

and a punny cartoon…

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Public Service 1I know that you have heard us talk about the makeuseof.com website.  Make Use Of has everything from funnies to tech tips to give-aways. Today’s public service announcement comes from them and concerns getting water out of your cell phone and back into the toilet, where it belongs.

 

Tip of the Day: Today’s article illustrates the damage water can do to a smartphone or tablet. If you want to clean a smartphone or tablet’s screen, skip the water and use a microfiber cloth (these are often used to clean eyeglasses.) At most, you should use a damp microfiber cloth.
How To Save A Wet Cell Phone Or Tablet

by Christian Cawley

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I’ve got bad news for you. Dropping your phone in a puddle of water, bath, sink, toilet – even getting caught in a heavy shower – will leave it irreparably damaged. The same goes for tablet computers.

No more apps, games, Facebook, phonecalls or browsing. All gone.

That is, if you leave it switched on. Switching it off right away is probably the best solution, but it’s not all bad news.

In fact, there are a number of ways in which you can stop your phone or tablet computer from being left as nothing more than an expensive brick following prolonged contact with water.

The Effect of Water Damage

It is important to act fast when your phone or tablet gets wet. Water and electricity simply don’t get along, so a wet device could short out and even give you an electric shock. At best, a bit of water will condense on a hot circuit board or processor and cause damage to the screen, while water can find its way into bezels, slots, under the screen and into the battery cavity.

To read the rest of the article go here: http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/how-to-save-a-wet-cell-phone-or-tablet/?utm_campaign=newsletter&utm_source=2012-08-30
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Motivational United we stand
Motivational Wannabes
Motivational Where will you be
Motivational Word of God

Amen!!!
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Have you ever wondered who is playing the role of a character?
Often, even the most unrealistic characters are well-known actors…

 

Jackie Earle Haley – Rorschach in Watchmen

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Gary Oldman – Dracula

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Mayvenn Le Besco – Plavalaguna in The Fifth Element

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John Travolta – Edna Tornbled in Hairspray

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I was standing in a bar in town yesterday and this little Chinese guy comes in, stands next to me and starts drinking a beer.
I said to  him, “Do you know any of those martial arts things, like Kung-Fu, Karate or Ju-Jitsu?”
He says, “No!  Why the fluck you ask me dat, is it coz I Chinee?”
”No,” I say, “It’s because you’re drinking my beer you little prick!”

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Today’s Last Word is going to revolve around this particular video, so, let’s watch the video first and then we’ll talk about it.  Again, if you want to see the video you must go to the website to view it.  Go to http://dragonlaffs.com and view the video.

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Now, after watching the video, here are some more, very important things to think about…

*If any other of our presidents had criticizeda state law that he admitted he never even read,would you think that he is just an ignorant hothead? *

*If any other of our presidents joined thecountry of Mexico and sued a state inthe United States to force that stateto continue to allow illegal immigration,would you question his patriotismand wonder whose side he was on? *

*If any other of our presidents had pronouncedthe Marine Corps like Marine Corpse,
would you think him an idiot? *

*If any other of our presidents had put 87,000 workers out of work by arbitrarily placing a moratorium on offshore oil drillingon companies that have one of thebest safety records of any industrybecause one foreign company had an accident,would you have agreed? *

*If any other of our presidents had useda forged documentas the basis of the moratorium that wouldrender 87000 American workersunemployed would you support him? *

*If any other of our presidents had been thefirst President to need a Teleprompterinstalled to be able to get througha press conference, would you havelaughed and said this is more proof of how inepthe is on his own and is really controlledby smarter menbehind the scenes? *

*If any other of our presidents had spenthundreds of thousands of (our) dollarsto take his First Lady to a play in NYC,would you have approved? *

*If any other of our presidents had reducedyour retirement plan holdingsof GM stock by 90% and given theunions a majority stake in GM,would you have approved? *

*If any other of our presidents had made a jokeat the expense of the Special Olympics, would you have approved? *

*If any other of our presidents had givenGordon Brown a set of inexpensiveand incorrectly formatted DVDs,when Gordon Brown had given hima thoughtful and historically significant gift,would you have approved? *

*If any other of our presidents had giventhe Queen of Englandan iPod containing videos of his speeches,would you have thought ita proud moment for America ? *

*If any other of our presidents hadbowed to the King of Saudi Arabiawould you have approved? *

*If any other of our presidents hadvisited Austria and made referenceto the nonexistent “Austrian language,”would you have brushed it offas a minor slip? *

*If any other of our presidents had filled hiscabinet and circle of adviserswith people who cannot seem to keepcurrent in their income taxes, would you have approved? *

*If any other of our presidents had stated thatthere were 57 states in the United States, wouldn’t you havehad second thoughtsabout his capabilities? *

*If any other of our presidents would haveflown all the way to Denmarkto make a five minute speech about how theOlympics would benefit himwalking out his front door in his home town,would you not have thought he was aself-important, conceited, egotistical jerk. *

*If any other of our presidents had beenso Spanish illiterate as to refer to“Cinco de Cuatro” in front of the Mexican ambassadorwhen it was the 5th of May (Cinco de Mayo),and continued to flub it when he tried again,wouldn’t you have winced in embarrassment? *

*If any other of our presidents had burned9,000 gallons of jet fuelto go plant a single tree on Earth Day,would you have concludedhe’s a hypocrite?*

*If any other of our presidents’administrations had okayedAir Force One flying low over millionsof people followed by a jet fighterin downtown Manhattan causingwidespread panic,would you have wondered whether theyactually get what happened on 9-11? *

*If any other of our presidents had failed tosend relief aid to flood victimsthroughout the Midwest with more people killedor made homeless than in New Orleans,would you want it madeinto a major ongoing political issue withclaims of racism and incompetence? *

*If any other of our presidents had createdthe position of 32 Czars who report directly to him,bypassing the House and Senateon much of what is happening in America,would you have ever approved? *
 
*If any other of our presidents hadordered the firing of the CEO of a major corporation,
even though he had no constitutional authority to do so,would you have approved? *

*So, tell me again,what is it about Obama that makeshim so brilliant and impressive? *

*Can’t think of anything?Don’t worry.He’s done all this in 42 monthsso you dont have that much time tocome up with an answer.*
 
*Every statement and action in this email is factualand directly attributable toBarrack Hussein Obama.Every bumble is a matter of recordand completely verifiable. *
AND NOW–
HE ACTUALLY WANTS US TO RE-ELECT HIM.
WAKE UP AMERICA…2012 IS UPON US
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4 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1288

  1. lethalleprechaun says:

    The ‘Racism card’ has become the new ‘Nazi card’- the card you play in an attempt to shut an argument down that you have no hope of winning. It has also replaced the Nazi card as the most over used and inappropriately used card..

    If we were HALF as racist as were are accused of being, Obama would have been impeached ( PROBABLY not even elected solely on the basis of being black and having a foreign sounding name), the borders would be closed and a killing zone would have been established for 500 meters from the boarder in desert areas. ICE & DHS would have roving patrols out rounding up illegals and deporting them, no illegal aliens would be able to get ANY government hand outs, all official business would be conducted ONLY in ENGLISH and state level voter identity as well as proof of right to be in the country laws would have not been challenged.

    RACIEST MY ARSE!! The only raciests I see are the minorities charging everyone with it when ever they can’t get their way with a free ride.

  2. I have seen the Last Word before, and every time i do i am amazed anybody could consider voting for him again. What’s even more amazing is the Lame Stream Media giving him a total pass, which they would not have done for Bush

    • kris72663 says:

      Hank, if the LSM didn’t give him a pass, they’d be accused of racism by his supporters. Odd, isn’t it? The ones who cry racism the loudest are the ones who see color the most.

      • impishdragon says:

        Kris is right. Stupidity and ineptitude have nothing to do with color. Evil socialism has nothing to do with color. An entitlement attitude from him and his supporters has nothing to do with color, yet whenever ANY of these (and many other) topics come up, the accusers are called racist. Is it racism to lie about your birth certificate? Your intentions? Breaking your promises? Hank, I have no idea how anybody could consider voting for this evil man and his equally guilty minions, yet the polls, if they are to be believed, are showing roughly half of us ARE considering voting for his majesty for a second term. I don’t get it. The only thing that comes to mind are words of a man, much smarter than I, who said, “Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.” I believe there has never been a time in our history where those words are more applicable.
        Good comments. Thanks guys. Anyone else wish to join in?

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