I’m getting this finished way early and set to auto post in the event that by the time Wednesday comes around I find my self hip deep in a strong tropical storm or weak hurricane depending on what dear darling Debby decides to do with her track.
Ok belay that- it’s Monday Am and in the last 18 hours or show Debby has shown an apparent preference to retired folk in the Florida Panhandle as opposed to up to illegal immigrants Texas.
However that reprieve as it were (we could have used the rain, it’s already dropped more than 12 inches of rain along some parts of the Florida coast but that much that hard and fast would not have hung around or done anything lasting for us…except flood us out) come at a price it seems. The same weather conditions that are going to protect us are also apparently going to steam us like a hot dog.
Before I was even on line this morning my cell phone was playing its klaxon warning indicating a message from the National Weather Service. Here in part is the message that greeted me as I waited for my first cup of life giving coffee to issue froth from my beloved coffeemaker:
VERY HOT WITH HIGH HEAT INDEX VALUES THROUGH MIDWEEK AFTERNOON HIGHS ARE EXPECTED TO TOP OUT IN THE UPPER 90S TO LOWER 100S INLAND AND AROUND THE MID 90S AT THE COAST. THESE READINGS ARE EXPECTED TO PRODUCE HEAT INDEX VALUES TOPPING OUT IN A 105 TO 110 DEGREE RANGE. A HEAT ADVISORY MIGHT BE NEEDED.
I am reminded of an Ancient Irish Axiom which states that “life is a barter- every moment of pleasure must be paid for with an equal moment of pain” (my Grandda insisted that this was the explanation behind both marriage being the cost of a sex life & the whole drinking/hangover cycle). Ah well… out of the shower and into the sauna!
‘Tis off to work feverishly on our Fourth of July Independence Day Issue I am, before I’m forced to seek the cooler accommodations of a dim dark corner in me favorite pub!
LOL! HEY! Where did that picture of me & me coffee trying to write the Independence Day issue come from? Better yet when did I ever have that much hair?
That is until some lunatic or moron sets me off!
Why Men are just happier people.
What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Graying hair adds attraction. Wedding dress~$5000. Tux rental~$100. People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
This is good, the oldest structures on Earth
Gobekli Tepe … a long, long, long, long time ago
The structures on this site were built about 12,000 years ago (10,000 BC) and intentionally buried with sand about 8,000 years ago.
No one knows who these people were, what the massive buildings were for, or why they were buried.
Just for reference, these massive structures were built during the last ice age
and are more than 7,000 years older than any other structure we have yet discovered on our planet.
As I watched this I was in awe of what is shown and discussed, 13 years of work and only an estimated 5% had been uncovered!!!
This would truly be amazing beyond words to see.
The Most Arrogant Man in the World
Something new from RightChange.com. New video parody of the Dos Equis spot “The Most Interesting Man in the World,” “The Most Arrogant Man in the World illustrates how Obama believes he can just essentially push his agenda regardless of the congress which has made many believe he has an arrogant leadership style. Features new ending for “Don’t Be a Donkey”, dontbeadonkey.com which is a new site that will feature numerous new parody videos going into the 2012 election. Hope you get a Chuckle out of this one.
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?”
“Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day…
30,000 to a man’s 15,000.
The wife replied, “The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men…
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, “What?”
A man said to his wife one day, “I don’t know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
” The wife responded, “Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, “You should do it, because you get up first,
and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.”
The husband said, ” You are in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.”
Wife replies, “No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible
that the man should do the coffee.”
Husband replies, “I can’t believe that, show me.”
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament
and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says……….”HEBREWS”
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
“Please wake me at 5:00 AM.” He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by
the bed. The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.”
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
And finally according to the Book of Molly…
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
Sigh! Unfortunately it’s usually from whackos or the liberal unwashed masses. Remember what I said at the beginning about it being a great day until someone sets me off? Case in point:
Impish and I received a forward in our e-mails last Friday, one that was apparently broadcasted to several people and not sent to just us. Seems PETA’s outrage de jour is over the last 1000 chimps remaining in test labs across the USA. (PETA has never met an animal they could not exploit in order to gain a few dollars from an “offending” industry)
As you can see we’ve gone to great pains not to completely identify and there by expose ourselves to harassment or other legal charges by the L^2IQ (Liberal Loony In Question) when the whole story is completed. You’ll note that she makes NO COMMENTS EXPLAINING WHY WE ARE GETTING THIS FROM HER despite our numerous discussions and warning regarding what happens if you do this to us.
I was of the thought that her name rang a bell with me (and NOT in a good way either) however, as the Chief Operating Comedic Curmudgeon for DL/LL Enterprises (Hey Impish when we going to come up with that much bandied about better name??) I replied in an flip comedic manner not remembering that old Lizzy A. was one of our resident Liberal Loonies. [As it turned out when I Googled her after talking with Impish, I was easily able to refresh my memory and locate her banned addresses (3 of them) and screen name at the old Yahoo site, she’s less a liberal and more of the other in truth]
As several of you who insist on doing the send us things sans comments or context can attest this is EXACTLY what happens when you do that. We either ignore it or make a smart flip remark back if the muse is upon us. JUST as we have warned previously. Lizzy A. is either not one for reading warnings or figures she’s a liberal and someone else is going to pay the fare for her ignoring rules while she Occupies our Inboxes. In either event, my flip response apparently offended her. I guess I was supposed to ignore all PETAs other liberal actions and behaviors and immediately take up the banner of a liberal bleeding heart cause and scream it from the blog.
Not. On. Your. Life.
Or more accurately;
Over. My. Dead. Bleeding. Body. Knee Deep. In. A. Pile. OF. Expended. Brass. On. The. Frozen. Plains. Of. Hell. Empty. Weapon. At. My. Side.
Apparently Lizzy A. has not bothered reading my Profile on WordPress (Located under everyone of my blog posts when you click on it to see the comments on that post, which states in part:
I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots’ Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one, I’ll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers.
Old Lizzy A. got down right rude as liberals are wont to do when you do not agree with their dictated to you point of view:
That’s when I decided I had had just about enough Liberal
Hope & Change Hype & Bullshit laced Kool-Aid thrown in my face for the day and went off on old Lizzy A:
Then the Obamas are in more immediate danger than I am, especially Michelle “Cheetah” Obama!
We have PUBLICLY expressed our distain for PETA and its uber liberal agenda multiple times, so WHY would we rush to their cause or aid?
GOD gave man “DOMINION over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.” (Genesis 1:28)
The dictionary definition of ‘dominion’ says it means ‘complete absolute power and rule over something.’
So, if one were to follow that definition, the Bible states that man can do whatever he wants over animals, (which includes hunting them, eating them and using them for purposes of bettering mankind) for he has complete dominion over them.
PETA seeks to position themselves as the sole interpreter of GOD’S intention for man’s control over animals, even over and above the Church and our overly-invasive-in-all-things Big-Brother Government. (To say nothing of the fact they want me to pay for them to do it!)
Screw them and screw you too Mz. Smart Azz. We’re supposed to remember you’re a bleeding heart, Kool-aid swilling liberal and psychically figure out what you mean, just because you sent it to us sans any context? You’d better pray they don’t start using donkeys and mules in labs or you and the rest of your liberal friends are going to be in seriously deep shit!
Now keep your smart azzed comments the hell out of my inbox you hypocritical whacko!!
I should probably explain that comment about her being hypocritical. See all them PETA folk whine and cry about the poor abused animals, but they wear leather shoes, leather belts, carry leather wallets and purses, they eat eggs, meat & fish, sleep on down filled pillows, mattress tops or under down comforters when its cold. When its cold they wear wool socks, sweaters, hats and mittens. When they get sick likely they get prescriptions filled for drugs that were tested on Chimps before they were deemed safe enough to test on humans. Lizzy’s make up was probably tested on a Chimp before a human to make sure it was safe for human testing. All THAT is ok and apparently conveniently overlooked as PETA attacks another industry that refuse to buy them off JUST like the tree huggers do. Get my point about hierocracy now?
Unfortunately like most liberals and loonies she didn’t get the message to cease and desist or chose to ignore it. Things coming from her end rapidly degenerated from there on after I pointedly warned her of the consequences of her continuing to contact me. The threats rapidly grew less founded in reality and more desperate and dire.
Impish and I were called trailer trash scum and red necked KKK members.
I have personally been accused of dealing in child pornography in retaliation for informing her I still was in possession of her harassing statements from the last time around (when Impish wrote about his fried the police officer who died THIS is the individual who wrote in and said she was GLAD he was dead and that ALL police officers should be killed. Seems she has had multiple run ins with the Clear Lake CA Police with which she is unhappy and therefore all police deserve to die and have their deaths celebrated) and would include them in my evidence to her e-mail and Internet providers.
She also has threatened to expose me for “having molested more little boys than Jerry Sandusky” and informed me that “just because I was a cop and corrupt didn’t mean I could not be caught” for suggesting I would lobby for a life time barring from the internet as part of her sentencing. Some where along the line I was also told she had proof I was a serial rapist. (I can only surmise that according to her I’m bi-sexual and apparently getting FAR more action than I am aware of! I’m gratified to see that my walking with a limp and a cane on top of being married isn’t slowing my chasing of women any!)
I have called her bluff and encouraged her to make those accusations official record with law enforcement so that she might be arrested and removed from her position as a menace of Cyber-society and barred from ever having internet contact again. In fact not only did I encourage her- I DARED her to do it.
The only way to win with people like her is the same way you win at Thermonuclear Warfare…you refuse to play the game. Accordingly, I have also refused her any further attention by blocking her e-mail address both on Gmail and here as well to insure she cannot continue her pattern of wanton disruption of the group solely for the purpose of her amusement.
Everyone thinks that doing a decent blog is so incredibly easy and can’t understand how it can take so much of our time. I just wanted you to see first hand some of the really bad crap, craziness and personal attacks we are forced to endure to publish this Centrist and logic founded blog a lousy 2 times per week.
Thankfully the vast majority don’t even come close to this level and are from people more or less capable of a semi intelligent discourse and reason.
If we have any lawyers out there licensed to practice in California that wouldn’t mind a little pro bono work, we’d appreciate the help removing this irritant on a permanent basis.
This should be sent only to those whose level of maturity qualifies them to relate to it…
[Lord only knows why I’m posting it here then!]
1962: Long hair
2012: Longing for hair
1962: Acid rock
2012: Acid reflux
1962: Moving to California because it’s cool
2012: Moving to Arizona because it’s warm
1962: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2012: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
1962: Seeds and stems
1962: Hoping for a BMW
2012: Hoping for a BM
1962: Going to a new, hip joint
2012: Receiving a new hip joint
1962: Rolling Stones
2012: Kidney Stones
1962: Passing the drivers’ test
2012: Passing the vision test
Just in case you weren’t feeling too old today, this will certainly change things:
Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of this year’s incoming freshmen. Here’s this year’s list:
The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1994 .
They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.
Their lifetime has always included AIDS.
Bottle caps have always been childproof and plastic.
The CD was introduced 4 years before they were born.
They have always had an answering machine.
They have always had cable.
They cannot fathom not having a remote control..
Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.
Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.
They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.
They can’t imagine what hard contact lenses are.
They don’t know who Mork was or where he was from.
They never heard: “Where’s the Beef?”, “I’d walk a mile for a
Camel”, or “de plane, Boss, de plane..”
They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even is.
McDonald’s never came in Styrofoam containers.
They don’t have a clue how to use a typewriter.
Do you feel old yet? Pass this on to the other old fogies on your list.
“Woman chops off sleeping man’s penis and drops from moving car!”
Don’t laugh, it is true, and it can happen to you!
Right now thousands of agitated, irate women have read
That headline and are contemplating similar action against you
The next time you make an unwanted sexual advance,
look at them the wrong way, or just upset them in general!
MEN PROTECT YOURSELVES NOW!!
If you found yourself a victim of CDS (Chop and Drop Syndrome)
could you be sure the appropriate authorities would find your
chopped member in time and intact?? Could you be sure the penis part they found was yours?
Inquire now about our low-cost PenisProtectionPlan! *
Plan 1: We’ll register your penis and scrotum, plus tattoo them
With their own unique registration number, ensuring that in case
Of separation, you will get a perfect match every time.
Plan 2: Our Jurassic prick program. We’ll take a cell sample from
Your penis and clone replacement parts for you in the event a
Trailer-tractor runs over your penis, or some wild animal mistakes
Your detached member for a chew toy.
Plan 3: For those of you who believe in prevention,
We offer a one size fits all, battery-operated, stainless steel
Jockstrap that can be worn when necessary. When you are asleep
An alarm will be activated when metal or other hazardous objects
Come within one foot of the jockstrap.
This will guarantee you a full night’s sleep, free of worry.
Don’t get caught short …
Call 1-800-SAV-A-DIK today!!!!!
Remember … The dick you save could be your own!!
PRICES VARY ACCORDING TO SIZE.
…….yeah Impish, thanks to recent advances in nanotech and micro-manufacturing they even make YOUR size too !!….XXXXS is it? LOL!
CDC has a fun new way of teaching about emergency preparedness. Our new graphic novel, “Preparedness 101: Zombie Pandemic” demonstrates the importance of being prepared in an entertaining way that people of all ages will enjoy. Readers follow Todd, Julie, and their dog Max as a strange new disease begins spreading, turning ordinary people into zombies. Stick around to the end for a surprising twist that will drive home the importance of being prepared for any emergency. Included in the novel is a Preparedness Checklist so that readers can get their family, workplace, or school ready before disaster strikes. Click on the image below to view the novella. A transcript can be found by clicking on the “accessible text” PDF. To order your own copy of the novella click here.
It comes in Pdf format, however if you should want to change the format to accommodate your eReader of choice I recommend you visit 2ePub.com, a online file converter which is about as painless a way to convert between eReader formats as I know of.
I told her she had three beautiful children.
She didn’t have to get all pissed off.
It was an honest mistake…
This was set to run in this issue before old Looney Lizzy resurfaced and started slinging her liberal equine byproduct wildly about in my direction- I just love it when life and a Parting Shot come together!
Dad won’t face charges in alleged attacker’s death
By PAUL J. WEBER and RAMIT PLUSHNICK-MASTI Associated Press
SHINER — Hearing his 5-year-old daughter crying from behind a barn, a father ran and discovered the unthinkable: A man molesting her. The father pulled the man off his daughter, authorities say, and started pummeling him to death with his fists.
With his daughter finally safe, the father frantically called 911, begging a dispatcher to find his rural ranch and send an ambulance.
“Come on! This guy is going to die on me!” the man is heard screaming on the 911 call. “I don’t know what to do!”
A recording of the tape was played during a news conference Tuesday where the Lavaca County district attorney and sheriff announced that the father would not face charges.
In declining to indict the 23-year-old father in the June 9 killing of Jesus Mora Flores, a Lavaca County grand jury reached the same conclusion as investigators and many of the father’s neighbors: He was authorized to use deadly force to protect his daughter.
“It’s sad a man had to die,” said Michael James Veit, 48, who lives across the street from where the attack happened in this small community run on ranching and the Shiner beer brewery. “But I think anybody would have done that.”
The family ranch is so remote that on the 911 tape, the father is heard profanely screaming at a dispatcher who couldn’t locate the property. At one point, he tells the dispatcher he’s going to put the man in his truck and drive him to a hospital.
“He’s going to die!” the father screams, swearing at the dispatcher. “He’s going to f—— die!”
The tense, nearly five-minute call begins with the father saying he “beat up” a man found raping his daughter. The father grows increasingly frazzled, shouting into the phone so loudly at times that the call often becomes inaudible.
The Associated Press is not identifying the father in order to protect the daughter’s identity. The AP generally does not identify victims of sexual assault.
“He’s a peaceable soul,” V’Anne Huser, the father’s attorney, told reporters at the Lavaca County Courthouse. “He had no intention to kill anybody that day.”
The attack happened on the family’s ranch off a quiet, two-lane county road between the farming towns of Shiner and Yoakum.
A statement released by the district attorney said a witness who saw Flores “forcibly carrying” the girl into a secluded area scrambled to find the father. Running toward his daughter’s screams, the father pulled Flores off his child and “inflicted several blows to the man’s head and neck area,” investigators said.
Emergency crews responding to the father’s 911 call found Flores’ pants and underwear pulled down on his lifeless body. The girl was examined at a hospital, and Lavaca County District Attorney Heather McMinn said forensic evidence and witness accounts corroborated the father’s story that his daughter was being sexually molested.
The father was never arrested, but the killing was investigated as a homicide.
Philip Hilder, a Houston criminal defense attorney and former federal prosecutor, said he would have been surprised if the grand jury had decided to indict the father. Hilder said Texas law provides several justifications for the use of deadly force, including if someone commits a sexual assault.
“The grand jury was not about to indict this father for protecting his daughter,” he said.
Authorities said the family had hired Flores before to help with horses on the ranch. He was not born in the U.S. but was here legally with a green card. Attempts to locate Flores’ relatives through public records were unsuccessful.
On Tuesday, a new “No Trespassing” sign was freshly tacked onto a gate barring entrance down a gravelly, shrub-canopied path leading to the barn and chicken coop on the ranch, which belonged to the father’s dad.
At the father’s house, the front yard could pass for a children’s playground: blue pinwheels sunk into patchy grass, an above-ground swimming pool, a swing set, a trampoline and a couple of ropes dangling from a tree for swinging. A partial privacy fence is painted powder blue.
No one answered at the father’s home. A few miles away, at a home listed as belonging to the father’s sister, a woman shouted through the front door that the family had nothing to say. Huser, the father’s attorney, told reporters that neither the father nor anyone else in the family would ever give interviews and asked that they be left alone.
Veit, who lives across the street from the ranch, described the father as easygoing and polite — down to always first asking permission to search Veit’s property for animals that had wandered off the ranch, even though the families have long known each other.
Veit’s son was a classmate of the father’s at Shiner High School in a graduating class of about two dozen. Veit, 48, said the young father was never known to be in trouble.
“Just like a regular kid, went to dances, drank beer like the rest of the kids around here,” Veit said.
Shiner, a town of about 2,000 people about 80 miles east of San Antonio, revolves around the Spoetzl Brewery that makes
Shiner, one of the nation’s best-selling independent beers. Even gas stations here sell it on tap.
Flores’ death is only the sixth homicide the Lavaca County Sheriff’s Office has investigated in the last eight years. Shiner residents boast their squeaky-clean image on a highway welcome sign: “The Cleanest Little City in Texas.”
At Werner’s Restaurant, customer Gail Allen said she didn’t want to speak for the whole town, though her comments echoed what others said.
“The father has gone through enough,” said Allen, 59, who has nine grandchildren. “The little girl is going to be traumatized for life, and the father, too, for what happened. He was protecting his family. Any parent would do that.”
I’d like to commend the police on the way they handled this. It was obviously a bad time for the family but at the same time they were confronted with a dead man at the hand of another, who (presumably) admitted to such on scene.
Instead of taking the easy media headline grabbing way out and cuffing the poor kids father and throwing him in a cruiser and a cell until such time as this all got straightened out, they did the right thing. They investigated, decided that the evidence, as it was initially presented supported the father’s version of the situation, and allowed him to remain with and care for his daughter and his traumatized family.
Those cops know and understand the difference between “Protect & Serve” and “Enforcing the Law”
Secondly, to the father of the little girl I say, “DAMNED FINE JOB!”
If more of the sick whack jobs got the crap beat out of them or outright killed at the hands of the fathers of those they are molesting we’d have fewer incidents and even fewer around to be repeat offenders. (Sadly priests would probably be in even shorter supply however because even the Vatican cannot hide them from a bullet when they are caught in the sin)
More states need to modify their justifiable deadly force laws to include defense against sexual assault. [Of course the second those laws start passing Obama and his ventriloquist’s dummy in the Justice Department Eric Holder will start decrying how the laws are unfair to sexual predators and how states have no right to make laws liberals don’t agree with.]
Sir I know you didn’t set out to kill him, only to keep him from harming your little girl, but I would not lose any sleep over snuffing this loser out- even accidentally. My only fault with what you did was that you didn’t 1st field goal kick him so hard that when the corner does the autopsy they find his testicles right up with his Adams Apple BEFORE beating him to death.
And that goes for Rapist and any other sort of sexual predator you care to think of too!