Leprechaun Laughs # 130 for February 29 2012


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 Morning readers! In case you’ve misplaced your calendar, today is Leap Day, February 29th! What a treat for you today! An extra edition of Leprechaun Laughs for the Month!

There’s a myth that on leap years a woman can propose to a man, rather than the traditional way, so I you’re male single, happy and want to stay that way I suggest ducking and covering and not answering your phone until after midnight. IF you’re female and on the hunt you’d better get a move on!

Personally I don’t like this extra day thing the way it stands. I know we’re always looking for more time to do things but by and large we spend enough of our time working to make a living and a home plus keep and maintain both already if you ask me. I figure that Leap Day should fall outside the normal work week. It needs to be an every four year scheduled 3 day weekend. A day where everyone gets to take “me time” to do those personal pursuits they never have time for. A day to go fishing, read that book you’ve always wanted to, go the that art museum, get caught up on back episodes of your favorite show(s) something relaxing and personally pleasing, like spend some quality time drinking good coffee and reading an extra issue Leprechaun Laughs!

 On a positive note grounded in reality I am happy to report that your ever loving Leprechaun no longer has to worry if he’s going to turn a tap on and have nothing but air come out. As or last Thursday’s report Houston is officially out of the severe drought conditions that we plaguing it all of last year. Since January 1, 2012 we have received over 14 inches of rain so far this year making this the 6th wettest start to a year on record for us. Thankfully much the same amount of rain has also fallen over the two largest lakes supplying Houston with water and begun replenishing them from the severely drawn down condition the are in, hopefully much to the relief of those with water front property around them.

 

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When You Gotta Go……

Two women friends had gone for a girls’ night out both were very faithful and loving wives, however
they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers..

Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery…

One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them.

Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them.

She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she
proceeded to wipe with that.

After the girls did their business, they proceeded to go home.

The next day, the husband of one of the women was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said: “These girl nights have got to stop! I’m starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties!!”

“That’s nothing,” said the other husband, “Mine came back with a card stuck to her ass that said….. ‘From all of us at the Fire Station. We’ll never forget you.’ ”

 

  !cid_DEC3010F-DC50-4163-8C7E-C582D10EC5A3 As long as it was the water I’m cool with that, but when it comes to my whiskey and coffee there Opportunist, you mess with either of those and we’re going to throw down!

 

Celtic Consumer Warnings

I figured I’d hit you with the bad news early on then make up for it with the rest of the issue. Besides you’ll need as much time to stock pile as you can get.

Mars kills the King Size Snickers

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The end is nigh for the Snickers bar as we know it.

Mars is discontinuing its King Size Snickers bar, and even the traditional 2-ounce version of the chocolate bar is headed for the chopping block, as the venerable candy company pares down its products in the face of America’s obesity epidemic.

The company has replaced the King Size Snickers with the so-called “2toGo,” which is two bars in one package. Each of the bars is 220 calories. The company said the package can be resealed “to save one for later.”

Mars also said it’s putting the kibosh on chocolate bars that exceed 250 calories by the end of 2013. That means the days are numbered for its traditional 2.07 ounce chocolate bar, which weighs in at 280 calories.

The candy maker sees reducing portions is a way to help fight obesity in America — adopting the tone often heard from makers of other products facing health experts’ scrutiny such as alcohol and tobacco.

“Mars chocolate products should be enjoyed in moderation as part of a healthy and well-balanced lifestyle,” said the M&M producer in a statement.

More than one-third of U.S. adults, and about 17 percent of all children and young adults, and a certain Dragon are obese, according to the Centers for Disease Control. The prevalence of obesity among children has tripled since 1980.

OLD AGE AT IT’S BEST

IT’D BE FUNNIER IF IT DIDN’T HAVE THAT ‘RING’ OF TRUTH…

Impish Dragon and Lethal Leprechaun, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems.

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One day Impish didn’t show up.

Lethal didn’t think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something..
But after impish hadn’t shown up for a week or so, Lethal really got worried.

However, since the only time they ever got together was at the park, Lethal didn’t know
where Impish lived, so he was unable to find out what had happened to him.

A month had passed, and Lethal figured he had seen the last of Impish, but one day,
Lethal approached the park and– lo and behold!–there sat Impish!

Lethal was very excited and happy to see him and told him so.
Then he said, ‘For crying out loud Impish, what in the world happened to you?’

Impish replied, ‘I have been in jail.’

‘Jail!’ cried Lethal. What in the world for?’

‘Well,’ Impish said, ‘you know Sue, that cute little blonde waitress at the
coffee shop where I sometimes go?’

‘Yeah,’ said Lethal, ‘I remember her. What about her?

‘Well, one day she filed rape charges against me; and, at 800 plus years old,
I was so proud that, when I got into court, I pled ‘guilty’.
‘The judge gave me 30 days for perjury.’

The Bookshelf of the Future

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OMG Watch 1

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“A whole lot of the problems we face today exist principally because the people who work for a living are outnumbered by those who vote for a living.” Or see politics as a bloody living!

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Father-Son Lessons

The 7 Most Important Things A Father Could Teach A Son

Whether or not you have kids, you should take a minute and identify some of the core values of fatherhood. Because when you do become a dad, you’ll have to pass down those values to your children.

Look People In The Eye

“I tell my three boys that if you want to be taken seriously in a room full of adults, always look people in the eye when you speak to them and always shake their hand in a firm, positive manner.”

 

Be A Loving Husband

“Let your son witness you hugging your wife daily and let him hear you telling your wife you love her. Young boys use these experiences as examples for how to model their own relationships for the rest of their lives.”

 

Be compassionate but not a pushover

“One of the most important things a man should teach his son is how to be compassionate but not a pushover. A real man knows how to empathize but stay true to his values at the same time.”

Be Open-Minded

“Open-mindedness. Perhaps one of the most important principles we can teach our kids is how to think for themselves so they can develop into individuals, not mini versions of their dads, as cool as that sounds.”

Don’t Expect The Worst In People

“A man should teach his son to treat others with kindness and respect. Every person deserves a clean slate and a kind reception when you meet them for the first time. Whether they then damage that perception is up to them.”

 

Expect to work hard

“A man should teach his son discipline and hard work so that he can carry through and be ready for life when he grows into the outer world. These things are to be taught by way of leading by example, focusing on first things first and helping him recognize how important it is to help others.”

 

Take Nothing For Granted

“A man should teach his son to question everything and take nothing for granted. The son should also learn to respect women and how to clean up after himself. He should teach his son to be responsible and not to take any crap from anybody.”
 http://www.askmen.com/entertainment/austin_3800/3874_father-son-lessons.html

 

 Wild Hog Hunting Cajun Style

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The trick is teaching your swamp retriever to let go of the Hog once he’s caught it !

 

An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his advice on reviving her husband’s libido.

‘What about trying Viagra?’ asked the doctor.

‘Not a chance’, she said… ‘He won’t even take an aspirin.’

‘Not a problem,’ replied the doctor. ‘Give him an ‘Irish Viagra’…

‘What is Irish Viagra?’, she asked.

It’s when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won’t even  taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went..’

It was a week later when she called the doctor, who directly inquired  as to her progress.

The poor dear exclaimed, ‘Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T’was  horrid! Just terrible, doctor!’

‘Really? What happened?’ asked the doctor.

‘Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect  was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a smile on his face, a twinkle in his eye and with his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one  swoop of his arms, he sent me cups and saucers flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there passionately on the tabletop! T’was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!’

‘Why so terrible?’ asked the doctor, ‘Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn’t good?’

‘Freakin’ jaysus, it was the best sex I’ve had in 25 years! But sure as I’m sittin’ here, I’ll never be able to show me face in Starbucks  again!

 

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Geeze! This is REALLY getting annoying and making me not like 2012! Something else from someone I despise that I have to say ‘good job’ about? Will this never end? How soon does New Years get here?

 

White House unveils plan to protect online privacy

White House issues blueprint to protect consumers online

* Calls for privacy bill of rights, enforcement by FTC (because we all know how well that worked w/ the Do Not Call List)

* Ad networks commit to “Do Not Track” technology

By Jasmin Melvin

WASHINGTON, Feb 23 (Reuters) – The White House on Thursday proposed a “bill of rights” that would give consumers greater online privacy protection and could eventually give the government greater powers to police Internet firms such as Google Inc and Facebook.

While the privacy bill of rights does not impose any immediate new obligations on online companies, President Barack Obama said it was part of a broader plan to give Americans more control over how their personal data was used on the Internet.

“American consumers can’t wait any longer for clear rules of the road that ensure their personal information is safe online,” said Obama.

“As the Internet evolves, consumer trust is essential for the continued growth of the digital economy. That’s why an online privacy Bill of Rights is so important.”

Internet giants such as Google and Facebook have been accused of quietly tracking their customers’ online activities and then using that data to generate advertising revenue.

Lawmakers have expressed an interest in cracking down on online tracking, but have done little to curtail the practice.

Internet companies have tried to get ahead of reforms by adopting privacy policies, but have still come under fire from Congress and consumer groups for not being upfront about how they use information on users’ online activities.

The U.S. Commerce Department will work with companies and privacy advocates to develop “enforceable” privacy policies based on the bill of rights, said the White House.

While advertising networks associated with Internet firms including Google, Yahoo! Inc and Microsoft Corp have agreed to act on “Do Not Track” technology on web browsers that make it easier for consumers to control tracking.

The Digital Advertising Alliance, a self-regulatory body representing media and marketing trade associations, said on Thursday it would immediately begin work to add these browser-based choices to the set of tools consumers can use to express their preferences for data collection.

Stu Ingis, the group’s general counsel, said he expected within nine months for browsers to include a simple, clear mechanism for consumers to opt-out of all data collection.

The administration said it was highlighting this action by online advertisers as an example of the kind of progress that can be made through voluntary action.

BILL OF RIGHTS

Obama’s announcement comes as he hones his strategy for winning re-election in November. Obama is holding himself up as a champion of everyday Americans who does not impede the business community’s contribution to economic growth.

The planned privacy bill of rights consists of seven basic protections consumers should expect from companies.

Consumers would have control over the kind of data companies collect, companies must be transparent about data usage plans and respect the context in which it is provided and disclosed. Companies would have to ensure secure and responsible handling of the data and be accountable for strong privacy measures.

The bill of rights also calls for reasonable limits on the personal data that online companies can try to collect and retain and the ability of consumers to access and ensure the accuracy of their own data.

While companies can voluntarily choose whether to adopt these principles, those that do commit could face enforcement action for straying from the principles.

Federal Trade Commission Chairman Jon Leibowitz said a failure to meet privacy commitments once adopted could be a deceptive act or practice, warranting FTC fines or other action.

Still, he expected companies to come on board as strong privacy protections encourage trust in Internet commerce. “That in turn fuels growth of the cyber economy and all other uses of the Internet,” Leibowitz said.

The FTC issued a draft privacy report in December 2010 that called for more privacy by design, choice and transparency. A final report is expected soon.

I cannot say I have very high hopes for this based on the past experience of the National Do Not Call List. Telemarketers by and large regard it as a toothless lion who had it’s roar and was never really let out of its cage to to the lax enforcement and all the hoops that you have to go thru to file complaints. It IS a step in the right direction but I suspect if I know ANYTHING about politics and Washington that the Media & Marketing Association lobby will see to it that any bill is so vague and lacks severe penalties enough to be a token gesture at best and that’s not even taking into account the less than enthusiastic enforcement the law is likely to receive.

I would suggest that this is another area where you not count on the government to protect your interests, that just like most other things you do it yourself. Actually it’s fairly easy. Locate the security option in your web browser and find the part dealing with the handling of cookies. DO NOT allow ‘3rd party cookies’.

Then because Google has apparently found away of making 3rd Party Tracking Cookies appear as other types go here: http://abine.com/products.php and download ‘Do Not Track Plus’. It is a free browser add in program and the download link will automatically detect what browser you are using and download the correct version for you. Once you install it (extremely easy) there is no set up and you barely know its there. Completing set up will take you to a short tutorial which I suggest you watch.

That’s it you’re done! I have been using it slightly less than a month now with Firefox and have already blocked almost 5800 tracking cookie attempts as of writing this. I know some of you out there will doubt that number so here is a little snippet from my browser showing I am being accurate.

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Now by no means an I suggesting that that number represents a single attempt from 5800 different companies to track me, but it does represent pretty well just how much tracking goes on. Just the act of signing onto my Google homepage get me three attempts and some other interesting figures:

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Personally I think those figures speak for themselves and quite impressively at that. However for those of you who are still not convinced let me ask you one final question, Can you REALLY count and rely on the government to protect your personal privacy from big business deep pocketed lobbyist and big money??

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Moral Here

(Well more than a single one actually)

LETHAL LEPRECHAUN’S FIVE MINUTE CRASH MANAGEMENT COURSE FOR DUMMIES & DRAGONS

LESSON:1

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, ‘I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel.’
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves..

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, ‘Who was that?’

‘It was Bob the next door neighbor,’ she replies.

‘Great,’ the husband says, ‘did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?’

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’

The priest apologized ‘Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.’

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, ‘Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.’

Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, ‘I’ll give each of you just one wish.’

‘Me first! Me first!’ says the admin clerk. ‘I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.’

Puff! She’s gone.

‘Me next! Me next!’ says the sales rep. ‘I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.’

Puff! He’s gone.

‘OK, you’re up,’ the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, ‘I want those two back in the office after lunch..’


Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say..

Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing..

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, ‘Can I also sit like you and do nothing?’
The eagle answered: ‘Sure, why not.’

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

‘I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree’ sighed the turkey, ‘but I haven’t got the energy..’

‘Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?’ replied the bull. They’re packed with nutrients.’

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

 
Moral of the story: Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there..

Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy. (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

(3) And when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!

THUS ENDS LETHAL LEPRECHAUN’S FIVE MINUTE CRASH MANAGEMENT COURSE FOR DUMMIES & DRAGONS!

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Forgotten Man: The One Painting That Will Never Appear In The Obama White House

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Over the past few years, artist Jon McNaughton — one of the foremost Barbizon Impressionist painters in the world — watched as his nation was being torn apart at its foundations.
He saw President Obama trampling on the Constitution, destroying our dollar and undermining our very way of life. And he felt compelled to pick up his brush and respond. What resulted was one of the most impactful and controversial paintings of our time: The Forgotten Man.

imageHe has also done several other paintings along similar lines. This last one was probably his best known (until now).

imageAs they say ‘ I don’t know art, but I know what I like’.  Well these speak to me and I like them! I only hope they speak to enough people to get rid of him come November!

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A truly touching father and son story that has a large ring of truth to it.

Daddy, please tell me why?

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A young Arab boy asks his father, “What is that weird hat you are wearing?”
The father said, “Why, it’s a ‘chechia’ because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun.”
“And what is this type of clothing that you are wearing?” asked the young man.
“It’s a ‘djbellah’ because in the desert it is very hot and it protects the body.” said the father.
The son asked, “And what about those ugly shoes on your feet?
His father replied, “These are ‘babouches,’ which keep us from burning our feet in the desert.”
“Tell me,” added the boy.
“Yes, my son?”
“Why are you living in Dearborn, Michigan and still wearing all this shit?”

 

30,000-Year-Old Flower Brought Back to Life by Russian Scientists

An Ice Age flower has come back to life. How exactly did that happen? Well, a team of Russian scientists discovered a burrow that contained fruit and seeds left in the Siberian permafrost by a squirrel that buried them about 30,000 years ago. Remnants of the Silene stenophylla blossom were found perfectly preserved, and in an experiment to extract the seeds, the scientists pioneered a new way to resurrect the plant. For thousands of years, the flower was fully encased in ice, and no water was able to get to it. The storage chambers that the squirrels created were filled with hay and animal fur to protect their treasure. Stanislav Gubin, one scientist working with the discovery, called it a “natural cryobank.” The blossom with its white flowers looks similar to its modern-day version, which also grows in the same region as its predecessor. The burrows, which were found 125 feet below the surface, also contained bones of wooly mammoths, deer, and bison. So in addition to bringing the flower back to life, scientists hope to find preserved animal tissue that may one day lead to another breakthrough–wooly mammoths roaming the earth again.

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/trending-now/30-000-old-flower-brought-back-life-russian-171513010.html

WOW! If they can bring back a 30K year old plant to life maybe the IS hope for Impish’s sex life after all!

Wild Turkey and Coke On A Monday Morning

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 You're_Doing_It_Wrong Some of the Most Wasteful and Low Priority Government Spending of 2011

Senator Tom Coburn (R-OK) has released a report outlining 100 projects and items on which he believes the government has wasted taxpayers dollars in 2011.

Dubbed “2011 Wastebook: A Guide to Some of the Most Wasteful and Low Priority Government Spending of 2011,” the document lists things such as snow cone machines, a video game preservation center, dead federal employees receiving benefits checks, and the infamous bridge to nowhere in Alaska.

“Over the past 12 months, Washington politicians argued, debated and lamented about how to reign in the federal government‘s out of control spending. All the while, Washington was on a shopping binge, spending money we do not have on things we do not need, like the $6.9 billion worth of examples provided in this report. The result: Instead of cutting wasteful spending, nearly $2.5 billion was added each day in 2011 to our national debt, which now exceeds $15 trillion,” said Dr. Coburn.

Coburn continued with some rather harsh words for Congress, stating, “This report details 100 of the countless unnecessary, duplicative, or just plain stupid projects spread throughout the federal government and paid for with your tax dollars this year that highlight the out-of-control and shortsighted spending excesses in Washington. So perhaps there was no bigger waste of the taxpayer’s money in 2011 than Congress itself.”

So what are some of the items in the report? Here’s a random sampling:

  • Politicians Partying on the Taxpayer Dime – (Presidential Election Campaign Fund) – $35.38 Million
    Despite a federal budget crisis, taxpayers will be cutting checks this year to both political parties that could help pay for the stages, confetti, balloons, food, and booze‖ for their political conventions. The funds that are used to cover the conventions come from the Presidential Election Campaign Fund (PECF).
  • Subsidy Program for Small Airports Fails to Help Most Recipients Achieve Sustainable Air Service – (Federal Aviation Administration) – $6 Million
    A federal airport assistance program spent $6 million to assist small airports in 2011, but has little to show for its efforts in over a decade of assistance.
  • “Pancakes for Yuppies” in D.C. – $765,828
    An International House of Pancakes (IHOP) franchise was built with financial assistance courtesy of Uncle Sam.
  • The Super-Bridge to Nowhere – (AK) – $15.3 Million
    The bridges to nowhere in Alaska may be the most infamous symbols of government excess and waste. Both bridges are stilling going nowhere and may never go anywhere. However, the bigger of the two bridge projects cost taxpayers more than $15 million in 2011, even though it may never be constructed.
  • Dead Federal Employees Continue to Get Benefits Checks – (U.S. Office of Personnel Management) – $120 Million
    The federal government sent an average of $120 million in retirement and disability payments to deceased former federal employees every year for at least the past five years.
  • Video Game Preservation – (NY) – $113,277
    The International Center for the History of Electronic Games (ICHEG) received over $100,000 in federal funds for video game preservation.
  • Drug-Themed “Mellow Mushroom” Pizza Restaurant – (TX) – $484,000
    A private developer received nearly half a million dollars in federal funds to build Mellow Mushroom Pizza Bakers, a nationwide pizza chain, in Arlington, Texas.
  • Stimulating Online Soap Operas – (Department of Commerce) – $936,818
    The Department of Commerce awarded $28.5 million to One Economy Corp. to generate broadband adoption in under-served communities. One of the projects funded by One Economy Corp was to create a web-based television series, Diary of a Single Mom, which chronicles the lives and challenges of three single mothers and their families trying to get ahead despite obstacles that all single mothers face, such as childcare, healthcare, education,and finances.
  • VA Conference in Arizona – $221,540
    In January 2011, fifty employees from the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs attended an eleven day conference at a resort in Scottsdale, Arizona. The final cost exceeded $221,000.
  • Annual Rent for the Storage of Thousands of Pieces of Unused Furniture and Equipment – (Internal Revenue Service) – $862,000
    The Internal Revenue Service (IRS) spent nearly a million dollars a year to store unused furniture and equipment.
  • The Government “Cheese Trail” – (OR) – $50,400
    The Oregon Cheese Guild received $50,000 in taxpayer funding to promote the Oregon cheese industry.

Are these good investments with your money? You can read the full report and decide for yourself whether or not the items contained within it constitute wasteful government spending.

 

 

Last  Parting Shot Scope on Man

State agent inspects sack lunches, forces preschoolers to purchase cafeteria food instead

Food police bust 4 year-old in NC

Is there anything Big Brother and the Nanny State don’t think they ahve a right to stick their noses into? You may have Civil Rights, but apparently you have no Parental Rights, no Privacy Rights and at least according to City of Raeford, Hoke County, North Carolina no knowledge of how to feed your child or what they will and will not eat!

Preschooler’s Homemade Lunch Replaced with Cafeteria “Nuggets”

RAEFORD — A preschooler at West Hoke Elementary School ate three chicken nuggets for lunch Jan. 30 because a state employee told her the lunch her mother packed was not nutritious.

The girl’s turkey and cheese sandwich, banana, potato chips, and apple juice did not meet U.S. Department of Agriculture guidelines, according to the interpretation of the agent who was inspecting all lunch boxes in her More at Four classroom that day.
The Division of Child Development and Early Education at the Department of Health and Human Services requires all lunches served in pre-kindergarten programs — including in-home day care centers — to meet USDA guidelines. That means lunches must consist of one serving of meat, one serving of milk, one serving of grain, and two servings of fruit or vegetables, even if the lunches are brought from home.

When home-packed lunches do not include all of the required items, child care providers must supplement them with the missing ones.

The girl’s mother — who said she wishes to remain anonymous to protect her daughter from retaliation — said she received a note from the school stating that students who did not bring a “healthy lunch” would be offered the missing portions, which could result in a fee from the cafeteria, in her case $1.25.

“I don’t feel that I should pay for a cafeteria lunch when I provide lunch for her from home,” the mother wrote in a complaint to her state representative, Republican G.L. Pridgen of Robeson County.

The girl’s grandmother, who sometimes helps pack her lunch, told Carolina Journal that she is a petite, picky 4-year-old who eats white whole wheat bread and is not big on vegetables.

“What got me so mad is, number one, don’t tell my kid I’m not packing her lunch box properly,” the girl’s mother told CJ. “I pack her lunchbox according to what she eats. It always consists of a fruit. It never consists of a vegetable. She eats vegetables at home because I have to watch her because she doesn’t really care for vegetables.”

When the girl came home with her lunch untouched, her mother wanted to know what she ate instead. Three chicken nuggets, the girl answered. Everything else on her cafeteria tray went to waste.

“She came home with her whole sandwich I had packed, because she chose to eat the nuggets on the lunch tray, because they put it in front of her,” her mother said. “You’re telling a 4-year-old. ‘oh. you’re lunch isn’t right,’ and she’s thinking there’s something wrong with her food.”

It’s touching how much the USDA and the HHS really care about our children. What would we do without them intruding into our family lives, policing our meals, and forcing inferior substitutions on our little ones? But this is not in my opinion the most grievous of the injustices done here (in my estimation there were three) but we’ll address those later read on cause we’re not done.

While the mother and grandmother thought the potato chips and lack of vegetable were what disqualified the lunch, a spokeswoman for the Division of Child Development said that should not have been a problem.

“With a turkey sandwich, that covers your protein, your grain, and if it had cheese on it, that’s the dairy,” said Jani Kozlowski, the fiscal and statutory policy manager for the division. “It sounds like the lunch itself would’ve met all of the standard.” The lunch has to include a fruit or vegetable, but not both, she said (as) there are no clear restrictions about what additional items — like potato chips — can be included in preschoolers’ lunch boxes.

“If a parent sends their child with a Coke and a Twinkie, the child care provider is going to need to provide a balanced lunch for the child,” Kozlowski said.

Ultimately, the child care provider can’t take the Coke and Twinkie away from the child, but Kozlowski said she “would think the Pre-K provider would talk with the parent about that not being a healthy choice for their child.”

It is unclear whether the school was allowed to charge for the cafeteria lunches they gave to every preschooler in the class that day.

The state regulation reads:

“Sites must provide breakfast and/or snacks and lunch meeting USDA requirements during the regular school day. The partial/full cost of meals may be charged when families do not qualify for free/reduced price meals.
When children bring their own food for meals and snacks to the center, if the food does not meet the specified nutritional requirements, the center must provide additional food necessary to meet those requirements.”

Still, Kozlowski said, the parents shouldn’t have been charged.
“The school may have interpreted [the rule] to mean they felt like the lunch wasn’t meeting the nutritional requirements and so they wanted the child to have the school lunch and then charged the parent,” she said. “It sounds like maybe a technical assistance need for that school.”

The school principal, Jackie Samuels, said he didn’t “know anything about” parents being charged for the meals that day. “I know they eat in the cafeteria. Whether they pay or not, they eat in the cafeteria.” Pridgen’s office is looking into the issue.

As reader Jeanne who sent this in points out:

What do you think is in these “nutritious chicken nuggets?” This is out of control. It brings the word “cancer” to mind. I am disgusted. I am PISSED! Where does it stop? The government is now controlling our children, people. When will we say ENOUGH and tell Big Brother to BUTT OUT!?

 

We here at DragonLaffs & Leprechaun Laughs pride ourselves on reporting accurately and truthfully with the facts. There has been some commenting that this story was misinforming, inferred inaccurate or unsubstantiated facts and was in fact perhaps politically slanted. For a very balanced explanation of the evolution and clarifications of this story from its original posting until its current form I suggest you read John Hood’s Daily Journal at the Carolina Journal Online located here: The Chicken Nuggets Story, Bite By Bite

 

BE ADVISED: I DO NOT claim credit for the following summational comments and observations!

When it came to for closing thoughts I realized there were a LOT of points to be made and that many of the people who have chosen to comment on the issue of the (nanny state) had addressed them far better and far more of them than I could not being a parent and only looking at this from the point of governmental intrusion into private personal family life for the largest part. All I have done is to collate like comments, edit some of them selectively to string the appropriate paragraphs of different comments together in the best possible context and in some case provide editorial comments for clarity where words are missing or meanings unclear.

For clarity the comments are in purple just like Jeanne’s above and any editorial additions for clarity are in green bracketed italics [green bracketed italics example] since one of the comments makes use of parentheses

Fear ye not however I will have a personal closing thought or 2 on the subject for your kind consideration.

====

So, another area of private life that the government decided to put itself in charge of, spawning yet another horde of “inspectors” who can “interpret” any guideline or rule to satisfy their own neuroses and/or hidden agendas. When the first ruling was decreed that someone would decide if a child’s lunch, packed by a parent, was acceptable or not, where was the outrage? Mostly I see ire over the fact that some incompetent felt chicken nuggets, those lovely, overly-processed pseudo-food items, were more acceptable over a sandwich rather than directing the ire where it rightly belongs.

That is, on the fact that the government [assertion that it] knows better than parents how to raise our children. Bah! This is the government, in the sheep’s clothing of The Grown-ups at School, undermining ( at a new record low age) the child’s confidence in the parent’s knowledge, interest, and ability, to do what is best for him. If Mom and Dad don’t even know what healthy food is, how can they possibly be authorities on anything else? There’s no need to wait for the natural pulling away of adolescence to make children question, or dismiss outright, any of the lessons that should be learned in the home. And no better time to cause a child to doubt his parent’s love and concern for him. Far worse than teaching 4-year-olds that “nuggets” are a good source of nutrition, is teaching 4-year-olds that The Government is a good source for guidance on what ought to be personal decisions.

Coming to a Socialist country near you:

1. All public school students have to eat the school provided lunch
2. All public school kids have to arrive early for the mandatory public school breakfast as well
3. Home schooling is banned, because the government can’t ensure “proper exercise and nutrition” for home schoolers. Of course no mention that the government considers processed chicken nuggets to be nutritious, and that public schools are the ones who all but ended recreational and exercise time during school.
4. One child policy: since the government will be paying for your insurance, and kids raise the cost of insurance, the state will have a legal interest in limiting children. Of course they won’t really limit them; you’ll just get hit with a fee you can’t afford.

And another thing! 😉 I’d love to see a nutritional analysis of the “nuggets” that the State is teaching our children are a healthful protein. How much salt? How much fat? How much refined white flour in the coating? And what part(s) of the chicken? Crunchy, salty… I bet that’s how they got ’em to eat Soylent Green. I looked it up. “Chicken” nuggets are almost the perfect junk food. About 60% of the calories in the average nugget come from fat. They contain protein (supposedly), but almost 0 fiber, vitamins, or minerals (except iron) and a mere 2% (!) of that little girl’s daily calcium requirement. Mothers don’t even want to think about the additives in them. Soylent Green indeed! I don’t need to tell you that the sandwich, banana, and juice were loaded with protein, calcium, Vitamin C, phosphorus, and tons of trace minerals, just for starters.

[Should the Soylent Green reference escape you here is a synopsis of the movie where you can learn the reference’s meaning https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soylent_Green you’ll need to read the plot section to get it. Then with that in mind go here and read about the making of chicken nuggets: http://www.good.is/post/chicken-nuggets-is-that-how-they-re-made-a-good-fact-check/. Apparently chicken nuggets are another thing we should add to the list of items people should not be allowed to see how they are made right along with sausages and laws.

Suppose the school took away this lunch and gave the 4-year old chicken nuggets, which (in this hypothetical) she was allergic to, and had an episode because of it. Would the school wind up in the situation of saying in effect “Here is the body of your child, but don’t worry, she died eating a nice healthy chicken piece instead of that poison you packed in her lunch.”

Big Government programs “for the children” are never about the children!  If they were, you wouldn’t see Chicago public school officials banning students from bringing home-packed meals made by their own parents. In April, The Chicago Tribune reported that “unless they have a medical excuse, they must eat the food served in the cafeteria.” The bottom line? Banning homemade lunches means a fatter payday for the school and its food provider. [emphasis & underlining are mine in both cases]

Remember: The unwritten mantra driving Mrs. Obama’s federal school lunch meddling and expansion is: “Cede the children, feed the state.” And the biggest beneficiaries of her efforts over the past three years have been her husband’s deep-pocketed pals at the Service Employees International Union. There are 400,000 workers who prepare and serve lunch to American schoolchildren. SEIU represents tens of thousands of those workers and is trying to unionize many more at all costs.

Finally I’m forced to ask, if school lunches are so great, fantastic nutritionally and taste wise, why are we seeing articles like this one to say nothing of similar instances all over the country?

Michelle Obama’s Unsavory School Lunch Flop By Michelle Malkin • December 21, 2011 11:05 AM

The road to gastric hell is paved with first lady Michelle Obama’s Nanny State intentions. Don’t take my word for it. School kids in Los Angeles have blown the whistle on the east wing chef-in-chief’s healthy lunch diktats. Get your Pepto Bismol ready. The taste of government waste is indigestion-inducing.

According to a weekend report by the Los Angeles Times, the city’s “trailblazing introduction of healthful school lunches has been a flop.” In response to the public hectoring and financial inducement of Mrs. Obama’s federally subsidized anti-obesity campaign, the district dropped chicken nuggets, corn dogs and flavored milk from the menu for “beef jambalaya, vegetable curry, pad Thai, lentil and brown rice cutlets, and quinoa and black-eyed pea salads.” [ In other words all that haute cuisine shit you see fru-fru chef making on TV and think to yourself who would eat that slop? To which I reply, with the exception of the beef jambalaya, only Vegetarians/Vegans..you know, Twenty-something  liberals and Occupy Movement people in short your school board and of course even non American ethnic group Obama is seeking to befriend and get him reelected!  I’m a MARINE, I’ve eaten stuff that would make a herd of goats puke and I even except for POSSIBLY the Beef Jambalaya, touch that crap if there were any decently fresh bugs handy as an alternative.] 

Sounds delectable in theory. But in practice, the initiative has been what L.A. Unified’s food services director Dennis Barrett plainly concludes is a “disaster.” While the Obama administration has showered the nation’s second-largest school district with nutrition awards, thousands of students voted with their upset tummies and abandoned the program. A forbidden-food black market — stoked not just by students, but also by teachers — is now thriving. Moreover, “(p)rincipals report massive waste, with unopened milk cartons and uneaten entrees being thrown away.

Earlier this spring, L.A. school officials acknowledged that the sprawling district is left with a whopping 21,000 uneaten meals a day, in part because the federal school lunch program “sometimes requires more food to be served than a child wants to eat.” The leftovers will now be donated to nonprofit agencies. But after the recipients hear about students’ reports of moldy noodles, undercooked meat and hard rice, one wonders how much of the “free” food will go down the hatch — or down the drain. Ahhh, savor the flavor of one-size-fits-all mandates.

There’s nothing wrong with encouraging our children to eat healthier, of course. There’s nothing wrong with well-run, locally based and parent-driven efforts. But as I’ve noted before, the federal foodie cops care much less about students’ waistlines than they do about boosting government and public union payrolls.

In a little-noticed announcement several months ago, Obama health officials declared their intention to use school lunch applications to boost government health care rolls. Never mind the privacy concerns of parents.

In L.A., the district’s cafeteria fund is $20 million in the hole thanks to political finagling by SEIU Local 99. The union’s left-wing allies on the school board and in the mayor’s office pressured the district to adopt reckless fiscal policies awarding gold-plated health benefits to part-time cafeteria workers in the name of “social justice.” As one school board member who opposed the budget-busting entitlements said: “Everyone in this country deserves health benefits. But it was a very expensive proposal. And it wasn’t done at the bargaining table, which is where health benefits are usually negotiated. And no one had any idea where the money was going to come from.”

Early next year, Mrs.  Obama will use the “success” of her child nutrition campaign to hawk a new tome and lobby for more money and power in concert with her husband’s re-election campaign. It’s a recipe for more half-baked progressivism served with a side order of bitter arugula.

Now that you are probably good and pissed off, let me say before you start pointing fingers and making accusations that the FIRST fingers you all point need to be right at yourselves! That’s right, yourselves. How many of you figure you do not have children or your children are grown beyond the local school system so what goes on there is no longer you concern? UH huh quite a few of you from the hands I see. Guess what you are absolutely wrong! That school board is part of your elected local government, spends your tax dollars and is just as responsible for the brain washing of the next generation as the State and Federal government if not more so. You vote them in. You get to attend school board meeting- kids or not, they are part of your government and open to the public. You get to make your comments heard at those meeting and through letters to the Editors of your local newspaper, letters to your State Assembly, Representatives and Senators make your dissatisfaction with this situation known.

How many of you have paid attention to your local school board, or school issues much less attended a meeting or cornered one someplace for a good ear bending and ass chewing over what they have been doing with regard to usurping Parental Rights & Authority. the liberal values brainwashing, asinine Zero Tolerance Policies that make no sense for the age level of the school or any other situation that we have covered recently? Uh huh exactly what I thought. I would even embarrass you by asking if you can name any of the school board members of if you have written to protest a single instance where public education has taken it on itself without any authority what so ever to claim a parental right over our kids!

You want to start pointing fingers and raising an indignant outcry over this fine all well and good, I’m 100% behind that. Just keep in mind that this type of change comes from the grass roots level and that starts with you. So until you change your ambivalent ways with regards to the issue its just all a case of the boiling over pot calling the kettle back.

SPEAKING of pots, kettles and the like ‘tis nigh well past time for me to commence clanging them together and getting the supper on the table for me dear darlin’ Molly when she comes in the door tired and hungry. So ‘tis off I’ll be.

celt35

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About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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