Dragon Laffs #1231


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Tresspasser2Good Morning Campers!  It’s Thursday!  Not quite to the end of the week yet, but still better than three other days!
Thursday

Thursday gets a pretty bad rap.  It’s not as hated as Monday, not as happy as Friday, has no sexual connotations like Wednesday (Hump Day), is definitely NOT in the same class as Saturday or Sunday, which leaves it only in competition as Tuesday as having the crappiest gig of any of the seven days.  And you can even make the case that Tuesday ends up with all the two-fer specials (like the radio stations playing two-for-Tuesday songs and such) which leave poor Thursday completely out in the rain!  It’s really not fair, and actually quite sad.

So, rather than dwell on this sad subject any longer, wadda ya say we jump into the laughter and get this show on the road?

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Yesterday Lethal asked: “I’m not sure which is worse for guys, the above scenario (getting certain male anatomical parts frozen to cold pieces of metal) or peeing on an electric fence! Impish I hear you’ve deliberately done both, any insight?”  Well, Lethal.  They both have their advantages and disadvantages.  In both cases, it is a unique and often humorous way of meeting new people and when handled correctly can either lead to serious sympathy/healing sex or a very electrifying afternoon for the ladies.
On the other hand, marks, scars, freezer burn or even real burns are not uncommon.  So, you take the good with the bad.


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Here’s a good video from MakeUseOf.com.  The only problem I have with it, is that they titled the video: People Should Stop Taking the Internet So Seriously when clearly, the intent of the video was to show that we should take more care with what we say and do on line.  But, it is a good video none the less and should be shared.
http://www.makeuseof.com/tech-fun/people-stop-internet/


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d2011080101


There is a new tattoo going around, especially in Europe, which women are getting to protect themselves from Muslim Men.  It’s actually a good idea:

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Here’s a quick look behind the scenes at Dragon and Leprechaun Laff Industries.  A short editorial conversation between the two named partners discussing content.  Lethal is telling Impish about a news article he read…

S. Phibber McGee: WEST — Retired Col. Arthur “Kit” Murray, a U.S. Air Force test pilot who saw at the curvature of the earth when he set an altitude record at 90,440 feet in 1954 in the Bell X-1A rocket plane, has died in Texas. He was 92.

S. Phibber McGee: shit you get higher than that on a midair flatulence incident don’t you?
impishdragon: yeah, pretty much.  I’ve hit 100k
S. Phibber McGee: and that was without lighting it right?
impishdragon: yeah, one of those monsters, the last time I lighted one I ended up on the friggin’ moon
S. Phibber McGee: Well THAT explains the new crater they found on the dark side
impishdragon: Yup, that was me.  Damn near missed and ended up out past Mars.
S. Phibber McGee: You could have dropped in on cousin Marvin!
impishdragon: He’s stopped talking to me since I took his eludium three hundred space modulator or whatever the hell it was. I thought it was a pork chop
S. Phibber McGee: HE’s my arms dealing cousin we make him keep his office on Mars cause he kept having accidents and gold would get blown up
impishdragon: Must be a different Marvin…the one I know is a Martian, not a leprechaun
S. Phibber McGee: so he got mad and dropped the “O’ ” from his name
impishdragon: Ahhhh
O’Marvin
O’Marvin the Martian Leprechaun
S. Phibber McGee: well you know 500 years on Mars WILL change you a bit…then there was all those nasty legal proceedings where he wanted the name change and out of the family
now now
marvin O’Martian
impishdragon: Ahhh, nice ring to it
S. Phibber McGee: he changed it to Marvin Marshian
impishdragon: Does he wear a fuller brush on his helmet?
S. Phibber McGee: primarily cause Marv Mars was making too many faries giggle hysterically
yeah I sent him that as a gag gift after the first 150 years
impishdragon: Maybe it is the same guy
S. Phibber McGee: that’s a Fuller Brush Truck washing brush I had custom dyed for this helmet
impishdragon: Fuller Brush Truck Washing Brush?
FBTWB?

S. Phibber McGee: I told him it was for helping to wash the underside of his spaceship
he just had to walk around under there instead of trying to erect a ladder in that gravity
impishdragon: Little guy, right?  Can walk right under the space ship and shine it with his helmet?
S. Phibber McGee: yup
impishdragon: Yeah, that’s him.  He’s pissed at me
I ate his Plutonium Blaster thingy

S. Phibber McGee: 50 years later I sent him another one for polishing the under side. That led to the Iludium Q-38 Spacer Modulator development for blowing up the earth to get back at me
impishdragon: Yeah, that was it.  He used to say that a lot.
I guess that’s why the Earth wasn’t blown up.
And Bugs thinks he took all the glory.
Funny, funny world …
So, that’s your cousin, huh?

S. Phibber McGee: In retort for the whole blow up the earth issue I stopped being his IT guy so thats why he has all those cpmputer issues
impishdragon: Ahhhh!  Well that explains the rest of his piss-offed-ness.
S. Phibber McGee: yup
impishdragon: He couldn’t get HBO
S. Phibber McGee: plus I amde sure all he gets for TV waves captured is reruns of I Love Lucy & The Cosby Show
impishdragon: Okay, well all this talk of pork chops has got me hungry… and that Lucy…..yuck, yuck, yuck…. she sure is something.
I’ll talk to you later on.

S. Phibber McGee: Don’t forget Bill and his Jello Pudding!
impishdragon: Oh yeah!  Thanks!
Cheers


fantasy pix

f2008121301


The Weather Channel said La Nina has burned up the Midwest and
soaked the West Coast this summer producing no tropical storms until
last Friday. No one’s ever seen this pattern. It’s been six weeks since
summer started and Brett Favre still hasn’t come out of retirement yet.
rimshot


594
Seriously?  That’s the headline an editor at the Post decides to go with?


The U.S. Border Patrol allowed one hundred and thirty-three Mexican
soldiers to return to Mexico last week after they accidentally crossed the
border into the U.S. That’s how bad the economy is today. For the
first time in history Mexicans are crossing the U.S. border accidentally.

laugh and point


WTF

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w12

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President Obama announced new fuel efficiency standards for cars.
He ordered all cars to be able to get fifty-five miles per gallon in ten years.
Later in the day he commanded the Potomac to part but his golf ball
landed in the water before he could get both arms in the air.
laughter

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A Golden Oldie Video….is that even possible?


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Email Me


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I love this guy!  He’s the BEST!


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Motivational Honor

Motivational Hug

Motivational Humans


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last word3

Today’s Last Word is an excellent essay called “Entitlement”.

An  “Entitlement???”
———————————–
What the  hell is wrong here?

Remember, not only did you  contribute to Social Security but your employer did too. It totaled  13.3% of your income before taxes.

If you averaged only 30K over  your working life, that’s close to $220,500. If you calculate the  future value of $4,500 per year (yours & your employer’s  contribution) at a simple 5% (less than what the govt. pays on the  money that it borrows), after 49 years of working (me) you’d have  $892,919.98. If you took out only 3% per year, you receive  $26,787.60 per year and it would last better than 30 years, and  that’s with no interest paid on that final amount on deposit!

If you  bought an annuity and it paid 4% per year, you’d have a lifetime income of $2,976.40 per month. The folks in Washington have pulled  off a bigger Ponzi scheme than Bernie Madoff ever had.

Entitlement my ass , I paid  cash for my social security insurance!!!! Just because they  borrowed the money , doesn’t make my benefits some kind of charity or handout !! Congressional benefits , aka. free health  care , outrageous retirement packages , 67 paid holidays , three  weeks paid vacation, unlimited paid sick days , now that’s  welfare , and they have the nerve to call my retirement  entitlements !!!!!!

Emergency Rooms for their general health  care at just one hospital the cost to tax payers totaled over 25  million a  year!!!

Someone please tell me what the HELL’s  wrong with all the people that run this country!!!!!!

We’re “broke” & can’t help our own  Seniors, Veterans, Orphans, Homeless
etc.,??? In the last months we have provided aid to  Haiti , Chile , and Turkey.
And now Pakistan home of bin Laden.  Literally,  BILLIONS of DOLLARS!!! Our retired seniors living on a ‘fixed  income’ receive no aid nor do they get any breaks while our government and religious organizations  pour Hundreds of Billions of $$$$$$’s and Tons of Food to Foreign Countries!

They call Social Security and Medicare an  entitlement even though most of us have been paying for it all our working lives and  now when its time for us to collect, the government is running out of money. Why did the  government borrow from it in the first place?
 
We have hundreds of adoptable children who  are shoved aside to make room for the adoption of foreign orphans.

AMERICA: a country where we have homeless  without shelter,  children going
to bed hungry, elderly going without ‘needed’ meds, and  mentally ill without treatment
-etc,etc.

YET………………….

They have a ‘Benefit’  for the people  of Haiti on 12 TV stations, ships and planes lining up with food, water, tents clothes, bedding,  doctors and medical supplies.

Imagine if the *GOVERNMENT* gave ‘US’ the  same support they give to other countries.

SAD?

YEAH, OK, SO WHEN DO WE GET PISSED  AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT  IT?????

“There are more instances of the abridgment of the  freedom of the people by gradual and silent encroachments of those in power  than by violent and sudden usurpations.” –James Madison, speech at the  Virginia Ratifying Convention,  1788

Ending

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8 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1231

  1. gailwynds331 says:

    Hi everyone,
    I tried Lethal’s Zucchini Cake recipe and it was awesome. Try it, you won’t be disappointed.
    I used the lemon zest, the golden raisins, a variety of spices-fantastically delicious. xoxoxo Gail

  2. toni says:

    Any time I send any of the ‘editorial’ comments to my lists I always include a link plus I tell them exactly where on the blog to find the subscription info. Many of your subscribers subscribe to lists where I post (perhaps you guys also) and can attest to it. I’ll be posting it shortly; hopefully it will cause an uptick in ‘paid’ subscriptions for you.

    • impishdragon says:

      Thanks Toni! Tell your friends it’s a great website and also a pyramid scheme and you can win great prizes by bringing more subscribers into the fold. Just have them mention your name to the Ogre at the door when they come in and it gets credited to your account. Once you reach ten new subscribers, YOUR subscription is FREE! And the same thing works for all of them. Once each of them brings in ten new friends, their subscription is free AND your subscription is DOUBLE FREE!!!! And then if one of those people get ten you get TRIPLE FREE and so on. It’s an amazingly easy way to work your way up the ladder and win your very own dragon ride! (cash value 75¢) Cheers!

  3. Kris says:

    Great ‘Last Word’ today. Well, every day really. But this one made me want to shout out my window ‘I’m mad as hell & I’m not going to take it any more!’

  4. lethalleprechaun says:

    Why don’t you send just forward them the link to the page Toni? Then they can check out our blog AND the last word

  5. Dan from NYC says:

    Great Last Word today (as usual).

  6. toni says:

    Love “The Last Word” and would like to send it out to my keypals. May I? and Source?
    HUGS,
    toni

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