Leprechaun Laffs #76 for Wednesday 06/15


Shared Delusional Reality

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Top o’ the Morn’ campers! Little change up today, besides trying out a new look  and unifying our banners, instead of ‘Hump Day’ we’re observing ‘Warrior Wednesday’ today. Warrior Wednesday is something I came up with after spotting this graphic. I’m going to try and run it once a month and feature something about thanking or helping our military on that day.

Well here in the comfort of my repossessed from the Keebler Elves tree house its already nearly hot enough to bake cookies sans oven so lets get right to it shall we before I have to go seek out a cool dimly lit Public House and an nice cold draught.

Lets Be Laughing!

While my son was on the Navy carrier USS George Washington, the air wing was busy with training missions.

After talking to a pilot, one air-traffic controller accidentally left his microphone on and remarked to a nearby buddy, “That guy sounded just like Elmer Fudd.”

The airwaves got strangely quiet as everyone listened, realizing that the pilot had also heard the comment.

After about ten seconds, the pilot broke the silence by announcing: “Be vewy, vewy quiet. We aw hunting submawines.”

Out of Coffee

 

Father O’Mally has been preaching at his church in Ireland for so long, that he decides to take a vacation.
He has never been married and he is curious as to what an American endures in everyday life. So, he decides to go to the States before it is too late. He hops on the plane bound for Nevada. He arrives in the Airport in Las Vegas.
As he is exiting the plane, someone in the airport runs up to him and exclaims, “Elvis! Oh my God! It’s Elvis! I knew you weren’t dead Elvis! How have you been?”
Father looks at her and says, “Get outta me face. Can’t you see I’m not Elvis? I don’t look a thing like Elvis.”
The father moves on to his cab waiting outside. He hops in his cab and he’s a little upset so he tells the cabby, “Take me to my hotel and step on it.”
The cabby turns and says, “Sure thing sir – Oh my God! It’s Elvis! I knew you weren’t dead! I’m your number one fan! It’s so great to see you!”
“Shut up, you imbecile. I’m not Elvis! Now turn around and drive!” So the cabby speeds up to the hotel. Father O’Malley gets his things and walks up to the hotel check-in counter.
“Oh my God! Oh my God! It’s you!” screams the hotel clerk. “You’re back Elvis! I knew this day would happen. We saved everything just the way you like it! Free cheeseburgers, peanut butter and fried banana sandwiches, masseurs, complementary hookers and a full liquor bar!
I’m so glad you’re back!”
Father O’Malley looks at the hotel clerk and says, “Thank you.. Thank you very much!”


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The distinguished-looking elderly man asked at the department store information kiosk where he might purchase some personal stationery. He was directed to the notions department on the third floor, but in the crowded elevator he became confused and got off on the fourth floor by mistake.
Approaching the attractive floor manager standing near the elevator doors, he said, “Excuse me, Miss, but do you have notions?”
“Sure,” she replied mischievously, “but during the work week I try to suppress them until after five o’clock.”
“No, no, you don’t understand,” he stammered. “I mean to say, do you keep stationery?”
“No, I like to go with the flow right till the end,” replied the floor manager, laughing. “And then, I just start quivering all over.”

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The driver of a public transportation vehicle in Orlando made this announcement as it came to a stop, “When you exit this vehicle, please be sure to lower your head and watch your step.”
He then continued, “If you fail to do so, then PLEASE lower your voice and watch your language. Thank you.”

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In Honor of Warrior Wednesday

This a video of how to say thank you to people defending our country with a simple hand gesture. Please watch so if you ever see one you can say ‘Thank You”

Can’t see it? Get your butt to the blog NOW and view this important video!

 

*STORY*
For the past several years as I’ve been traveling around the country, I’ve been approaching Soldiers in airports and thanking them for serving for us. On several occasions I have noticed that it felt a little awkward for both of us. There are several reasons, some of which I am even just now learning as I produce this film and talk to more Service Men & Women and Veterans. But they have always appreciated being thanked, and I have always felt better having expressed my gratitude.
I started to think that it would be nice if civilians had a gesture or sign that they could use to say “thank you” quickly and easily without even having to approach. I did some research and found the sign that we are now using.
Is this limited to the military? Not at all. If you look around you I’m sure that you’ll find lots of people who are serving their communities, from local to global. If you appreciate their service, give them a sign. Say “thank you from the bottom of my heart.”
-Scott Truitt, FOUNDER, The Gratitude Campaign http://www.gratitudecampaign.org/

There, now how much simpler can it be than learning a simple gesture and using it when you see our military in uniform? No remembering ‘Red Shirt Friday’ (we’ll be working on that one another time), no donations that you might find hard to afford or which have inconvenient drop off spots. you don’t even have to talk to them or stop what you are doing, simply catch their eye, make a simple gesture and their day all in about two seconds. Simple and couldn’t be easier right? Good! NOW GET IT DONE!

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Little Johnnie’s neighbor had a Baby.

Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.

When mother and new baby came home from the hospital.

Johnnie’s family was invited over to see the baby.

Before they left their house, Little Johnnie’s dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby’s missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home.

Little Johnnie told his dad he understood completely.

When Johnnie looked in the crib he said, ‘What a beautiful baby’.

The mother said, ‘why, thank you, Johnnie..

Johnnie said, ‘He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see all right?’

‘Yes’, the mother replied, ‘we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 Vision.’

‘That’s great’, said Little Johnnie, ‘coz he’d be fucked if he needed glasses.

Totally looks like

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Yesterday was Flag Day, a fact that went by largely unnoticed by most and celebrated probably solely at the Capitols or by only the most devotedly patriotic of us and a few hardcore veterans.

this site:  http://www.pueblo.gsa.gov/cic_text/misc/ourflag/titlepage.htm has a great deal of information on our flag and flag day, as well as this take on what it means to be an American written in 1918 that is as on point and Warrior Wednesday worthy now as it was when it was authored.

The American’s Creed

(underlining and emphasis are mine)

I BELIEVE IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AS A GOVERNMENT OF THE PEOPLE, BY THE PEOPLE, FOR THE PEOPLE; WHOSE JUST POWERS ARE DERIVED FROM THE CONSENT OF THE GOVERNED; A DEMOCRACY IN A REPUBLIC, A SOVEREIGN NATION OF MANY SOVEREIGN STATES; A PERFECT UNION, ONE AND INSEPARABLE; ESTABLISHED UPON THOSE PRINCIPLES OF FREEDOM, EQUALITY, JUSTICE, AND HUMANITY FOR WHICH AMERICAN PATRIOTS SACRIFICED THEIR LIVES AND FORTUNES.

I THEREFORE BELIEVE IT IS MY DUTY TO MY COUNTRY TO LOVE IT, TO SUPPORT ITS CONSTITUTION; TO OBEY ITS LAWS; TO RESPECT ITS FLAG; AND TO DEFEND IT AGAINST ALL ENEMIES.

too bad they left off the part from the officer’s oath ‘against all enemies foreign and domestic’ in my opinion.

The Creed was written in 1918 by William Tyler Page of Friendship Heights, Maryland in the course of a nationwide contest on the subject. Page was a descendent of President Tyler, and Representative John Page, who served in the Congress from 1789-97.

William Tyler Page began his government career as a Congressional page in December of 1881. In 1919, he was elected Clerk of the House of Representatives, and held that position until December of 1931. a new post, Emeritus Minority Clerk, was then created for him which he occupied until his death on October 20, 1942.

I can think of more than a few foreheads and backsides in Washington Dc that could benefit from this being tattooed in the brightest possible ink thereupon. I think it should be read each morning in both houses of congress prior to opening of business and should be on a plaque where the president cannot possibly miss it in the oval office too.

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The Obedient Wife

There was a man, who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money.

Just before he died, he said to his wife…’When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.’ And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him.

Well, he died. He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there – dressed in black and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, ‘Wait just a moment!’

She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket.

Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away.
So her friend said, “Girl, I know you were not foolish enough to put all that money in there with your husband.’

The loyal wife replied, ‘Listen, I’m a Christian; I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him.’

You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?’

‘I sure did,’ said the wife. ‘I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a check….

If he can cash it, then he can spend it.’

I knew we were in the realm of fairy tales and mythological creatures with that story title. There is no such thing as an obedient wife!

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Peach Cake

3 eggs, well beaten

1 3/4 cups sugar

1 cup oil

2 cups flour

1 tsp each of salt & cinnamon

2 cups diced canned peaches drained

Confectioners sugar for topping

Heat oven to 350. Mix all ingredients thoroughly by hand.

Pour in greased and floured 9X13 pan. Bake 40 minutes or until

toothpick comes out clean. Sprinkle warm cake with confectioners sugar.

Makes approx 12 servings.

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Notice the license plate!

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‘nuff said right there!

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“The Meaning of the Flag Draped Coffin”

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All Americans should be given this lesson. Those who think that America is an arrogant nation should really reconsider that thought. Our founding fathers used GOD’s word and teachings to establish our Great Nation and I think it’s high time Americans get re-educated about this Nation’s history.

Pass it along and be proud of the country we live in and even more proud of those who serve to protect our ‘GOD GIVEN’ rights and freedoms.

I hope you take the time to read this … To understand what the flag draped coffin really means …. Here is how to understand the flag that laid upon it and is surrendered to so many widows and widowers.

Do you know that at military funerals, the 21-gun salute stands for the sum of the numbers in the year 1776?

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Have you ever noticed the honor guard pays meticulous attention to correctly folding the United States of America Flag 13 times? You probably thought it was to symbolize the original 13 colonies, but we learn something new every day!

The 1st fold of the flag is a symbol of life.

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The 2nd fold is a symbol of the belief in eternal life.

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The 3rd fold is made in honor and remembrance of the veterans departing the ranks who gave a portion of their lives for the defense of the country to attain peace throughout the world.

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The 4th fold represents the weaker nature, for as American citizens trusting in God, it is to Him we turn in times of peace as well as in time of war for His divine guidance.

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The 5th fold is a tribute to the country, for in the words of Stephen Decatur, ‘Our Country, in dealing with other countries, may she always be right; but it is still our country, right or wrong.’

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The 6th fold is for where people’s hearts lie. It is with their heart that they pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America , and the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all.

The 7th fold is a tribute to its Armed Forces, for it is through the Armed Forces that they protect their country and their flag against all her enemies, whether they be found within or without the boundaries of their republic.

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The 8th fold is a tribute to the one who entered into the valley of the shadow of death, that we might see the light of day.

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The 9th fold is a tribute to womanhood, and Mothers. For it has been through their faith, their love, loyalty and devotion that the character of the men and women who have made this country great has been molded.

The 10th fold is a tribute to the father, for he, too, has given his sons and daughters for the defense of their country since they were first born.

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The 11th fold represents the lower portion of the seal of King David and King Solomon and glorifies in the Hebrews eyes, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

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The 12th fold represents an emblem of eternity and glorifies, in the Christians eyes, God the Father, the Son and Holy Spirit.

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The 13th fold, or when the flag is completely folded, the stars are uppermost reminding them of their Nations motto, ‘In God We Trust.’

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After the flag is completely folded and tucked in, it takes on the appearance of a cocked hat, ever reminding us of the soldiers who served under General George Washington, and the Sailors and Marines who served under Captain John Paul Jones, who were followed by their comrades and shipmates in the Armed Forces of the United States, preserving for them the rights, privileges and freedoms they enjoy today

There are some traditions and ways of doing things that have deep meaning.

In the future, you’ll see flags folded and now you will know why.

Share this with the children you love and all others who love what is referred to, the symbol of ‘ Liberty and Freedom.’

http://www.legionpost37.com/Coffin.html

TY Soldiers

MAYBE THE SUPREME COURT SHOULD READ THIS EXPLANATION BEFORE THEY RENDER THEIR DECISION ON THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE. FORWARD IT; MAYBE SOMEONE WITH THE NECESSARY POWER, OR POLITICAL AND FINANCIAL INFLUENCE, WILL GET IT TO THEM.

IN THE MEANTIME, MAY GOD PROTECT US  and them ALWAYS from all enemies foreign and domestic, ONE NATION, UNDER GOD, WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL.

DL Closing Credits

About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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8 Responses to Leprechaun Laffs #76 for Wednesday 06/15

  1. What a Great Job Impish! Thanks for Warrior Wednesday!

    • impishdragon says:

      Rick, It was all the Leprechaun’s doing. He masterminded the whole thing. And a wonderful job it was!

    • lethalleprechaun says:

      IMPISH!!! IMPISH?? PUG MO’ THOIN Richard(Rick) you DIMWITTED DEMOCRATIC DUNCE!
      You’re sucking for a smack in the mush with a shillelagh you liberal schmuck
      I sound offended, aggressive and angry? YOU’RE G-D RIGHT i AM!
      MY NAME IS LETHAL LEPRECHAUN you fecking twit. I AM NOT NOR HAVE I EVER BEEN AND NEVER WILL BE IMPISH DRAGON.
      For as much time and effort as I put into this blog and as often as I carry its weight solo I do not think that credit where credit is due AND ACCURATELY ATTRIBUTED is too much to expect.

      People like you ought to keep their fingers off their keyboards so as only to be thought fools instead of typing shear stupidity where everyone can see it and removing all doubt on the issue!

  2. impishdragon says:

    Another great issue my friend. I’m proud of you and the efforts you are putting into this, our little project in insanity.

    Yes, missing Flag day was my fault. I can only plead an overwhelmingly enormous amount of personal crap. Thank you for keeping it up.

  3. Dan L - NYC says:

    Toni – I’m sorry to hear of your loss. The first year is especially tough as dates and holidays roll through that first time. Hang in there I promise it gets a little less tough to endure as time passes. – Dan

  4. Dan L - NYC says:

    A great issue LL. I like the Warrior Wednesday theme and think it’s a winner – with most here I take it.

  5. toni says:

    I usually do a Flag Day email but today would have been my husband’s birthday and it is the first one I’ve celebrated since his death. I didn’t have the spirit in me this year. Do you want a copy of my Flag Day folder? Let me know.
    Hugs,
    Toni

  6. Jeannie says:

    Another great issue, dear Leprechaun! We proudly hang our flag every single day, as well as most of my neighbors. God Bless America.

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