Good Morning Campers!
Yes, it has been a long time since you’ve heard from me. It’s been a tough week, but for more on that, see today’s last word.
I want to start off today’s show by thanking a very dear and generous friend, Lethal Leprechaun, for standing in for me so many times recently. It is especially noted since I know, so many times, he really wasn’t feeling up to his usual curmudgeonly self. And although I “jokingly” paid for his services, both monetarily and being the butt of his supposed ire and rapier wit and humor, I know, as should all of you, that it was all done in friendship and camaraderie, for two people who see the world the same way, from different points of view and wondering why the hell so many others don’t see the same things we see.
I love ya man!
Now, let’s <sniff> get on with the <sniff> laughter.
10. They have boobs.
This one is lots of fun
Tweets from around the world
More Really Bad Puns from the queen of bad puns… Diaman
When the wheel was invented it caused a revolution.
There were some Eco warriors protesting outside the local council offices. They all had there with their “Save The Ancient Woodland” posters and banners. So I decided to go down there and take their shit.
“Chop em all down, we need the logs!” I cried
Go away you monster! One of the hippies shouted.
“Seriously,” I laughed “You know they’re going to do it anyway. Your wasting your time.
What are they cutting them down to build? A motorway or a railway?”
“A mosque.” He replied
Three days now I’ve been there protesting with them.
This is great animation. Haven’t seen it in a long time.
This is pretty good. Check the lead in paragraph…
Nero Fiddled – Zero Dances
Thanks to Gramps for this really unusual site. How in the world do you search for something like this or how do you search and “accidently” come up with…
Molecules with silly or unusual names..
The following song is very good, but the back story is very bad. A young, 26 year old assistant football coach exercising his First Amendment rights using music and humor. He worked for a Tennessee Middle School and was fired for writing and singing this song. WTF is wrong with our country?
A young woman had been taking golf lessons.
She had just started playing her first round of golf
When she suffered a bee sting.
Her pain was so intense that she decided to return
To the clubhouse for help and to complain.
Her golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse and,
‘Why are you back in so early? What’s wrong?’
‘I was stung by a bee’, she said.
‘Where’, he asked.
‘Between the first and second hole’, she replied.
He nodded knowingly and said,
‘Then your feet are too far apart.’
Another GREAT oldie…
An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
“1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
“2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
“3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
“4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
“5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, “No…not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”
I’m pretty sure this is the same guy who did the skeleton Marionette. This guy is GREAT!!!!!! Very much worth watching.
You can see where this is headed, right?
All these cute animals stuck in places they shouldn’t be and leaving us wondering, “how the hell did he get there?”
Getting worse and worse as each picture goes by
How in the world did that horse get there? There’s no bigger question than that, right? Well, how about, how the hell did that bird get there?
How in the hell did that sheep get there?
Oh my lord! How in the hell did the elephant get there?
Then there is the obvious…
You know… you’ve heard me say several times how tough it’s been lately. How hard this last week’s been with our Compliance Inspection and all, but I want to take this opportunity to say a few things by way of explanation, that should’ve been said before. This inspection was the culmination of about two years worth of work for my shop. Without getting into too much military jargon and stuff, let’s say that two years ago we weren’t doing so well. Most of you know that I am an Emergency Manager for the Dept of Defense working at an Air Force Base in northern Indiana. Grissom Air Reserve Base. Okay, this is a HUGE program that not only touches every single office on base, but also, extensively into the local community and the state itself.
Less than two years ago, when my boss took over, our shop was doing successfully about 1/3 of what it was supposed to be doing. Obviously, that was not enough. As of yesterday, when the inspection team finally finished up, in MY opinion, we wowed the heck out of them! It has been a LONG, LONG battle for a shop of three guys. And I have to mention here that the leadership and hard work of Dan, my boss, was the driving force behind our success.
I know that I have not conveyed to you what I really wanted to in this Last Word, but I think that it is necessary to publicly recognize him and our shop and the efforts that we have produced in the last year and a half, and sadly my friends, this is the only venue that I have for that right now.
So, hats off and cheers to the 434 MSG/CEX. The Grissom Emergency Management Office.