Thank you to everyone who sent congratulations on baby Riley. Mommy and baby are doing well and are home now.
Now, we’re just waiting on the next grandbaby to appear, which should be in just a couple of days!
Welcome home to Robbie, who’s now back with is daddy! I can’t wait to see all of them!
Enough with the dragon family stuff, on with the laughter!
Here’s a very nice comparison, thanks to K²:
So Simple a Caveman could Understand It
Why did Bernie Madoff go to prison? To make it simple, he talked people into investing with him. Trouble was, he didn’t invest their money. As time rolled on he simply took the money from the new investors to pay off the old investors. Finally there were too many old investors and not enough money from new investors coming in to keep the payments going.
Next thing you know Madoff is one of the most hated men in America and he is off to jail. Some of you know this. But not enough of you.
Madoff did to his investors what the government has been doing to us for over 70 years with Social Security. There is no meaningful difference between the two schemes, except that one was operated by a private individual who is now in jail, and the other is operated by politicians who enjoy perks, privileges and status in spite of their actions.
Do you need a side-by-side comparison here? Well here’s a nifty little chart.
|Takes money from investors with the promise that the money will be invested and made available to them later..||Takes money from wage earners with the promise that the money will be invested in a “Trust Fund” and made available later.|
|Instead of investing the money Madoff spends it on nice homes in the Hamptons and yachts.||Instead of depositing money in a Trust Fund the politicians use it for general spending and vote buying.|
|When the time comes to pay the investors back Madoff simply uses some of the new funds from newer investors to pay back the older investors.||When benefits for older investors become due the politicians pay them with money taken from younger and newer wage earners to pay the geezers.|
|When Madoff’s scheme is discovered all hell breaks loose. New investors won’t give him any more cash.||When Social Security runs out of money they simply force the taxpayers to send them some more.|
|Bernie Madoff is in jail.||Politicians remain in Washington ..|
“The taxpayer: That’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination. “
“If you put the Federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert , in five
Years there’d be a shortage of sand.”
Soldier home on leave thwarts Fla. bank robbery
Army staff sergeant says he sprang into action when his two young sons were threatened
Okay, I have got to ask…am I the ONLY one who thinks this picture is fake?
I have lost track of how many people have sent this to me saying how well they sleep at night because of this picture… well, if 1/6 scale model figures help you sleep, then by all means, rest easy. But folks, these are plastic figurines. Granted, much better than the G.I. Joes that I grew up with, but they are still friggin’ toys! How many seal team members do you know that have plastic arms? Or little wire bundle ties instead of flexi-cuffs? Geez.
These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos: well, since I’ve heard these told about just about every law enforcement agency in the country, I can’t say that they are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers, but I will say that, having heard several of them live, I do know that they are actual statements made by SOME troopers.
1. “You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.”
2. “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.”
3. “If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.” (My Favorite)
4. “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”
5. “Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.” (LOVE IT)
6. “You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?”
7. “Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift supervisor?”
8. “Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.”
9. “The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”
10. “Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.”
11. “Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.”
12. “In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC.” ( National Crime Information Center )
13. “Just how big were those ‘two beers’ you say you had?”
14. “No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.”
15. “I’m glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.”
AND THE WINNER IS….
16. “You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Sign here.”
Not sure if this is a true story or not… but I sure hope so!… okay, wait… I take that back….
Bank of America Gets Pad Locked After Homeowner Forecloses On It
Collier County, Florida — Have you heard the one about a homeowner foreclosing on a bank?
Well, it has happened in Florida and involves a North Carolina based bank.
Instead of Bank of America foreclosing on some Florida homeowner, the homeowners had sheriff’s deputies foreclose on the bank.
It started five months ago when Bank of America filed foreclosure papers on the home of a couple, who didn’t owe a dime on their home.
The couple said they paid cash for the house.
The case went to court and the homeowners were able to prove they didn’t owe Bank of America anything on the house. In fact, it was proven that the couple never even had a mortgage bill to pay.
A Collier County Judge agreed and after the hearing, Bank of America was ordered, by the court to pay the legal fees of the homeowners’, Maurenn Nyergers and her husband.
The Judge said the bank wrongfully tried to foreclose on the Nyergers’ house.
So, how did it end with bank being foreclosed on? After more than 5 months of the judge’s ruling, the bank still hadn’t paid the legal fees, and the homeowner’s attorney did exactly what the bank tried to do to the homeowners. He seized the bank’s assets.
“They’ve ignored our calls, ignored our letters, legally this is the next step to get my clients compensated, ” attorney Todd Allen told CBS.
Sheriff’s deputies, movers, and the Nyergers’ attorney went to the bank and foreclosed on it. The attorney gave instructions to to remove desks, computers, copiers, filing cabinets and any cash in the teller’s drawers.
After about an hour of being locked out of the bank, the bank manager handed the attorney a check for the legal fees.
“As a foreclosure defense attorney this is sweet justice” says Allen.
Allen says this is something that he sees often in court, banks making errors because they didn’t investigate the foreclosure and it becomes a lengthy and expensive battle for the homeowner.
This one is pretty bad…. you can blame it on Diaman
There was a real estate agent in our town who had trouble finding homes to sell. So he switched to selling undeveloped property. Now he has lots.
Here’s a good bad one from Zack:
Once upon a time an evil king captured a virgin princess and held her
captive in his high tower.
Though she was very beautiful he forced her to wear a disgusting and
smelly burlap dress.
“You’ll never get away with this,” she cried. “Some brave knight will
“Not in that thing,” the evil king replied.
She waited day and night, but it was just as the king predicted. Every
knight that saw her in the window of the high tower was scared away by
her dress, which, as I’ve mentioned, was very disgusting.
After many months the princess broke down crying and the evil king
taunted her, “You see? I told you no knight would rescue a damsel
in this dress!”
Well, Lethal answered “Purse” and I answered … um … something else.
One of my favorite jokes of all time, and who hasn’t this happened to, where you just can’t seem to remember the most ordinary word in the world…maybe not your wife’s name, but still….
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, ‘Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great… I would recommend it very highly.’
The other man said, ‘What is the name of the restaurant?’
The first man thought and thought and finally said, ‘What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know… The one that’s red and has thorns.’
‘Do you mean a rose?’
‘Yes, that’s the one,’ replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, ‘Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?’
I don’t have a Last Word for today…. sorry. Not that I can’t think of plenty of stuff to rant about, congress alone offers enough on a daily basis to offer up months worth of Last Words. Nope, my main problem right now is a different government entity…The Dreaded Compliance Inspection….
Ours starts this week and well…. I just can’t seem to get fired up over regular ass-wipes when I get my own special ass-wipes to deal with.