Good Morning Campers!
Today is Thursday, that truly lousy day between Hump Day and the beautiful and sometimes magical Friday. Beautiful and magical that is, unless you have to work the weekend, like your favorite dragon. Then they’re all just another day filled with mud pies.
Today’s Reason to Party: International Limerick Day. Yes, it is. Today is the day we should remember and recognize the art of pub poetry, saloon stanzas, and ballroom bawdry. When done properly, the limerick is a wonderful thing. Wrought with irony, humor and a twisted ending that should make you smile and laugh. But when done improperly, they are often pornographic, obvious and forced. Quite interesting, here’s what poetry-online.org has to say about Limericks.
Where does the term ‘Limerick’ come from?
The word derives from the Irish town of Limerick. Apparently a pub song or tavern chorus based on the refrain “Will you come up to Limerick?” where, of course, such bawdy songs or ‘Limericks’ were sung.
and of course, I couldn’t let this opening go forth without a least a couple of Limericks…
Mother’s Rhapsody…this is great!
This is fun….. Footloose
Whoever put this together is an editing genius… take a few
minutes to watch and remember……..these cuts are from
almost 40 different movies, each with their own songs,
and the person who put this together made sure all the
dancers were hitting the exact beats to this one song
that you’re hearing. One song! Watch
everyone’s feet – they’re spot on! Fantastic!!!
Never misses a beat from movie to movie.
Friendship ~ None of that Sissy Stuff
Are you tired of those sissy ‘friendship’ poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?
Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.
You will see no cute little smiley faces on this ~ Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.
1.. When you are sad ~ I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
2. When you are blue ~ I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3 When you smile ~ I will know you are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.
4. When you are scared ~ I will pick on you about it every chance I get until you’re NOT.
5. When you are worried ~ I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused ~ I will try to use only little words.
7.. When you are sick ~ Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don’t want whatever you have.
8. When you fall ~ I will laugh at your clumsy ass, but I’ll help you up.
9. This is my oath ….. I pledge it to the end. ‘Why?’ you may ask ~ because you are my friend.
Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.
I was shocked, confused, bewildered
As I entered Heaven’s door,
Not by the beauty of it all,
Nor the lights or its decor.
But it was the folks in Heaven
Who made me sputter and gasp–
The thieves, the liars, the sinners,
The alcoholics and the trash.
There stood the kid from seventh grade
Who swiped my lunch money twice.
Next to him was my old neighbor
Who never said anything nice.
Bob, who I always thought
Was rotting away in hell,
Was sitting pretty on cloud nine,
Looking incredibly well.
I nudged Jesus, ‘What’s the deal?
I would love to hear Your take.
How’d all these sinners get up here?
God must’ve made a mistake.
‘And why is everyone so quiet,
So somber – give me a clue.’
‘Hush, child,’ He said,
‘they’re all in shock.
No one thought they’d be seeing you.’
While creating Husbands, God promised women that good and ideal husbands would be found in all corners of the world.
And then God made the earth round.
Terry: “People can be so helpful. There are Mike and Lee, who are maintenance men, who let themselves into the apartment with their passkey so I don’t have to make the stairs. They pick up my trash and carry it out to the dumpster. Then there’s Steve, my amiable mailman who gathers my accumulated mail from the cluster box and delivers it to my door and carries the occasional package up the stairs for me. And there’s Bob with the food catering service who even makes an extra stop at the grocery store to pick up milk…
But there’s a problem.”
Judy: “What problem?”
Terry: “My neighbors think I’m running a brothel!
From what I understand, this is a picture of Lethal’s first attempt to run maneuvers with the Army….not sure how it happened, but if it was our Leprechaun, you can be assured that alcohol was involved, somehow.
How to Get Rid of Telemarketers
– If they start out with, “How are you today?” say, “I’m so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died. When they try to get to the sell, just keep talking about your problems.
– If they say they’re John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
– This works great if you are male: Telemarketing: “Hi, my name is Judy and I’m with XYZ Company…Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask, “What are you wearing?”
– Cry out in surprise, “Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?” Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.
– Say “No,” over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to peak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.
– If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, “I don’t have any friends…Would you be my friend?”
– If the company cleans rugs, respond: “Can you get out blood? Can you get out GOAT blood? How about HUMAN blood?”
– After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give you credit card number to a complete stranger.
– Tell the telemarketer that you work for the same company, they often can’t sell to employees.
– Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream “Oh my Gosh!!!” and then hang up.
– Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say “I guess you don’t want anyone bothering you at home, right?” The telemarketer will agree and you say, “Now you know how I feel!” Hang up.
– Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.
– Tell the telemarketer you are on “home incarceration” and ask if they could bring you some beer.
– Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.
– Tell the telemarketer, “Okay, I will listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I’m not wearing any clothes.”
– Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. “Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how’s your momma?”
– Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up…louder… louder… LOUDER…
– Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
– If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
“My doctor also said that my drinking is a reaction to depression. But for the life of me, I can’t understand what the 1930s has to do with it.”
She explained that one of them had to stay inside and look after their two small children. They had flipped a coin to determine which would be the one to go out and shovel.
“Sorry to hear of your bad luck,” I said.
“Don’t be,” she replied quickly. “I won!”
I was driving one night in a really heavy rain. My car slid off the road into a field of tall grass. When the sheriff arrived, he asked, “Slip off the road?”
I said, “Nope. The car got hungry so I let it graze in the grass for a while.
You may have heard about a new bride who
was a bit embarrassed to be known as a
So when she and her husband pulled up to the
hotel, she asked him if there was any way that
they could make it appear that they had been
married a long time.
He responded, “Sure. You carry the suitcases!”
The annual family picnic was going to be held in my brother and sister-in-law’s backyard. After a busy day of preparations, they decided to go for an evening stroll.
My sister-in-law commented that the next day would be the longest day of the year. “Yes, dear, I know,” her husband replied. “Your family is coming over.”
Who Does The Land of Israel Belong To?
An Israeli Sense of Humor at UN set the record straight.
An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in the United Nations Assembly and made the world community smile.
A representative from Israel began: ‘Before beginning my talk I want to tell you something about Moses: When he struck the rock and it brought forth water, he thought, ‘What a good opportunity to have a bath!’ Moses removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water. When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A Palestinian had stolen them!
The Palestinian representative at the UN jumped up furiously and shouted, ‘What are you talking about? The Palestinians weren’t there then.’
The Israeli representative smiled and said, ‘And now that we have made that clear, I will begin my speech.
Many of you know what I do for a living and you know that chemical weapons are near and dear to my heart. So, when I was sent this article by Stephanie, I had to use it, in it’s entirety. Enjoy the history lesson: