LeprechaunLaffs # 61 for 5/11


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Same Shit._.Different Day

Hump Day ‘tis upon us once more. Oh….yippie! His expression about sums up my feelings on the subject for today. Beyond that due to intense mind fog (no doubt brought on by Allergy medication) all witty thoughts and comments have been grounded.

 

Baby coffee

 

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Ever make mistakes?
Perhaps perusing this list of the ten greatest accidental inventions of all time will help you to find the gold in the dirt, the diamond in the rough and the lesson in the lashing.

1. The Microwave – Percy L. Spencer
Percy Spencer, an engineer at Raytheon after his WWI stint in the Navy, was known as an electronics genius. In 1945, Spencer was fiddling with a microwave-emitting magnetron-used in the guts of radar arrays-when he felt a strange sensation in his pants. A sizzling, even. Spencer paused and found that a chocolate bar in his pocket had started to melt. Figuring that the microwave radiation of the magnetron was to blame (or to credit, as it would turn out), Spencer immediately set out to realize the culinary potential at work. The end result was the microwave oven-savior of eager snackers and single dudes worldwide.

2. Saccharin – Ira Remsen, Constantin Fahlberg
In 1879, Ira Remsen and Constantin Fahlberg, at work in a laboratory at Johns Hopkins University, paused to eat. Fahlberg had neglected to wash his hands before the meal-which usually leads to a quick death for most chemists, but led to him noticing an oddly sweet flavor during his meal. Artificial sweetener! The duo published their findings together, but it was only Fahlberg’s name that made it onto the (incredibly lucrative) patent, now found in pink packets at tables everywhere. That is to say, Remsen got screwed-he later
remarked, “Fahlberg is a scoundrel. It nauseates me to hear my name mentioned in the same breath with him.”

3. Slinky – Richard James
In 1943, Navy engineer Richard James was trying to figure out  how to use springs to keep the sensitive instruments aboard ships from rocking themselves to death, when he knocked one of his prototypes over. Instead of crashing to the floor, it gracefully sprang downward, and then righted itself. So pointless-so nimble-so slinky. The spring became a goofy toy of many childhoods-that is before every kid inevitably gets theirs
all twisted up and ruins it. 300 million sold worldwide!

4. Play-Doh – Kutol Products
Before being found ground into the rugs of child-rearing homes everywhere, Play-Doh was ironically created to be a cleaning product. The paste was first marketed as a treatment for filthy wallpaper-before the company that produced it began to go down the tubes. The discovery that saved Kutol Products-headed for bankruptcy-wasn’t that their wall cleaner worked particularly well, but that schoolchildren were beginning to use it to create
Christmas ornaments as arts and crafts projects. By removing the compound’s cleanser and adding colors and a fresh scent, Kutol spun their wallpaper saver into one of the most iconic toys of all time-and brought mega-success to a company headed for destruction. Sometimes, you don’t even know how brilliant you are until someone notices for you.

5. Super Glue – Harry Coover
In what have been a very messy moment of discovery in 1942, Dr. Harry Coover of Eastman-Kodak Laboratories found that a  substance he created-cyanoacrylate-was a miserable failure. It was not, to his dismay, at all suited for a new precision gun
sight as he had hoped-it infuriatingly stuck to everything it touched. So it was forgotten. Six years later, while overseeing an experimental new design for airplane canopies, Coover found himself stuck in the same gooey mess with a familiar foe-cyanoacrylate was proving useless as ever. But this time, Coover observed that the stuff formed an incredibly strong bond without needing heat. Coover and his team tinkered with sticking various
objects in their lab together, and realized they had finally stumbled upon a use for the maddening goop. Coover slapped a patent on his discovery, and in 1958, a full 16 years after he first got stuck, cyanoacrylate was being sold on shelves.

6. Teflon – Roy Plunkett
The next time you make a frustration-free omelet, thank chemist Roy Plunkett, whose experienced immense frustration while inadvertently inventing Teflon in 1938. Plunkett had hoped to create a new variety of chlorofluorocarbons (better known as
universally-despised CFCs), when he came back to check on his experiment in a refrigeration chamber. When he inspected a canister that was supposed to be full of gas, he found that it appeared to have vanished-leaving behind only a few white flakes. Plunkett was intrigued by these mysterious chemical bits, and began at once to experiment with their properties. The new substance proved to be a fantastic lubricant with an
extremely high melting point-perfect at first for military gear, and now the stuff found finely applied across your non-stick cookware.

7. Bakelite – Leo Baekeland
In 1907, shellac was commonly used to insulate the innards of early electronics-think radios and telephones. This was fine, aside from the fact that shellac is made from Asian beetle poop, and not exactly the cheapest or easiest way to insulate a wire.
What Belgian chemist Leo Baekeland found in instead was-get ready-polyoxybenzylmethylenglycolanhydride, the world’s first synthetic plastic, commonly known as Bakelite. This pioneering plastic was moldable into virtually any shape, in any color, and could hold its form against high temperatures and daily wear-making it a star among manufacturers, jewelers, and industrial designers.

8. Pacemaker – Wilson Greatbatch
An assistant professor at the University of Buffalo thought he had ruined his project. Instead of picking a 10,000-ohm resistor out of a box to use on a heart-recording prototype, Wilson Greatbatch took the 1-megaohm variety. The resulting circuit
produced a signal that sounded for 1.8 milliseconds, and then paused for a second-a dead ringer for the human heart. Greatbatch realized the precise current could regulate a pulse,
overriding the imperfect hea tbeat of the ill. Before this point, pacemakers were television-sized, cumbersome things that were temporarily attached to patients from the outside. But now the effect could be achieved with a small circuit, perfect to tuck into someone’s chest.

9. Velcro – George de Mestral
A dog invented Velcro. Alright, that’s something of an exaggeration, but a dog did play
an instrumental role. Swiss engineer George de Mestral was out for a hunting trip with his pooch, and noticed the annoying tendency of burrs to stick to its fur (and his socks). Later,
looking under a microscope, Mestral observed the tiny “hooks” that stuck burrs to fabrics and furs. Mestral experimented for years with a variety of textiles before arriving at the newly invented nylon-though it wasn’t until two decades later that NASA’s fondness for Velcro popularized the tech.

10. X-Rays – Wilhelm Roentgen
Okay, yes, x-rays are a phenomenon of the natural world, and thus can’t be created. But sshhh! The story of their discovery is a fascinating one of incredible chance. In 1895, German physicist Wilhelm Roentgen was performing a routine experiment involving cathode rays, when he noticed that a piece of fluorescent cardboard was lighting up from across the room. A thick screen had been placed between his cathode emitter and the
radiated cardboard, proving that particles of light were passing through solid objects. Amazed, Roentgen quickly found that brilliant images could be produced with this incredible radiation-the first of their kind being a skeletal image of his wife’s hand.

ATT00372

 

Medical Error

At the outpatient surgery center where I work, the anesthesiologist

often chatted with patients before their operations to help them relax.

One day he thought he recognized a woman as a co-worker at the

hospital where he had trained.

When the patient confirmed that his hunch was correct, he said, “So,

tell me, is the food still as bad there as it used to be?”

“Well, I suppose,” she replied, “I’m still cooking it.”

Memento

Friend: “I suppose you carry a memento of some sort in that locket of yours?”

Woman: “Yes, it’s a lock of my husband’s hair.”

Friend: “But your husband is still alive.”

Woman: “I know, but his hair is gone.”

 

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An Involuntary Muscular Contraction

A professor at the University of British Columbia was giving a lecture
on ‘Involuntary Muscular Contractions’ to his first year medical  students.

Realizing this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly. He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said:

‘Do you know what your asshole is doing while you’re having an orgasm?’

She replied: ‘Probably moose hunting with his buddies.’

It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom…

 

too much time3

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In case you wonder what he is wearing, that’s a crocheted scarf in a pattern meant to resemble bacon & eggs. What’s even scarier is Impish tried to order the guy with an English muffin and coffee!

Chopsticks

A man having lunch at a Chinese restaurant noticed that the table had
been set with forks, not chopsticks. He asked why. The waiter said

“Chopsticks are provided only on request.”

“But,” the man countered, “if you gave your patrons chopsticks, you
wouldn’t have to pay someone to wash all the forks.”

“True,” the waiter shot back, “but we would have to hire three more
people to clean up the mess.”

DL Accidentially Priceless Photography

 

!cid_26_3341920520@web161208_mail_bf1_yahoo

 

!cid_25_3341920520@web161208_mail_bf1_yahoo

 

!cid_22_3341920520@web161208_mail_bf1_yahoo

 

 

I Want You

 

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No Last Word from me today. The Dragon has been doing a fine job of making the cauldron bubble and too many Last Words ruin the commenting quality. So I’m just going to sit back do a little singing and prick my thumbs.  You don’t understand what I mean you say??

ALL
35 Double, double toil and trouble;
36 Fire burn and cauldron bubble.

Second Witch
37 Cool it with a baboon’s blood,
38 Then the charm is firm and good.

HECATE
39 O well done! I commend your pains;
40 And every one shall share i’ the gains;
41 And now about the cauldron sing,
42 Live elves and fairies in a ring
43 Enchanting all that you put in.

Second Witch
44 By the pricking of my thumbs,
45 Something wicked this way comes.

Macbeth: Act 4, Scene 1

Understand now? Thought you would! Hopefully instead of Macbeth it will be a Republican candidate to oppose and scare the hell out of Obama!

 

DL Closing Credits

out

About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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2 Responses to LeprechaunLaffs # 61 for 5/11

  1. lethalleprechaun says:

    I’ll take odds on Newt not being the answer…

    The latest 2012 contender has vacuumed up donations from energy companies that environmental groups say are the some of the worst polluters in the country—as he wages war on the EPA. Eve Conant on where the money is coming from and what’s at stake.

    Nixon created it, Newt wants to scrap it.

    The newest Republican contender for the White House says the Environmental Protection Agency should be replaced with a more business-oriented model. And it just so happens that Newt Gingrich has drawn big-time financial support from huge energy companies that would love to be liberated from EPA regulation.

    http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2011-05-11/newt-gingrich-for-president-2012-polluters-among-biggest-donors/?om_rid=NsflgD&om_mid=_BNyoQBB8bBuWWR

  2. impishdragon says:

    Okay, first of all. I didn’t order the whole guy on an English muffin with coffee, as was so humorously told by Lethal, what I said was, “I’ll have what he’s wearing…with a large coffee and an English Muffin.” Not at all the same thing. Now, if he had been a she …..

    And I may have a name for you all ….. sit down ….. Newt Gingrich.

    We shall see…. stay tuned to this channel for further developments.

    Thanks for a great issue my friend.

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