Well if that doesn’t put some giddy up in your Hump Day step the hump in your day is probably a mound of dirt over your grave!
There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son’s family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 7-year- old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some quality time — just him and his granddaughter.
One particular Saturday, however, he had a bad cold and really didn’t feel like being up at all. He knew his granddaughter always looked forward to their drives and would be disappointed. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said she would take their granddaughter for the drive. When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her grandfather who was ill and still in bed.
“Well, did you enjoy your ride with Grandma?” he asked. “Oh, yes, Paw Paw, it was really wonderful. You should go where Grandma drove today. We didn’t see a single asshole, blind bastard, dipshit or son of a bitch anywhere we went!”
Bear Attack in Churchill , Manitoba , Canada
These are pictures of an actual polar bear attacking a man.
The pictures were taken while people watched and
could do nothing to stop the attack!
Reports from the local newspaper say that
the victim will make a full recovery.
Prepare yourself, The photos are below.
May your troubles always be smaller than your imagination!
Jewish Apple Cake
This yummy apple cake is baked in a tube pan.
Prep Time: 20 minutes
Cook Time: 1 hour, 45 minutes
Total Time: 1 hour, 65 minutes
6 Granny Smith Apples, peeled & thinly sliced
2 Heaping Teaspoons cinnamon
5-6 Tablespoons granulated sugar or to taste
3 Cups all purpose flour
2 1/4 Cups sugar, half granulated, half dark brown
3 Teaspoons baking powder
1/2 Teaspoons salt
1 Cup vegetable oil
2 1/2 Teaspoons vanilla extract
1/3 Cup freshly squeezed orange juice
Oil and flour a tube pan – not a fluted one – or angel food cake pan. Set aside. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
In a medium bowl, mix the apples, cinnamon, and sugar.
In a large bowl, mix the rest of the ingredients together and beat with a wooden spoon until the mixture is smooth.
Scoop half the batter into the prepared pan can cover with half the apple mixture. Scoop a second layer of batter over the apples and top with remaining apple mixture.
Bake for about 1 3/4 hours. The crust should be crunchy. Cool in the pan for 15 minutes and remove to wire rack to finish cooling.
Great lightly toasted the next day in a toaster oven w/ a little butter for breakfast. No toaster oven? No problem! lightly butter it and grill it until both sides are nicely toasted in a griddle pan!
Not Only Blonde but probably an AOL user too!
What is the meaning of courage? Is it to fight a bull in a bullfight without any weapon?
Is it to fly a fighter plane in combat?
Is it to practice free fall parachuting?
Is it bungee jumping, white water rafting?
Bullshit… those are nothing!
THIS my friend is COURAGE!!!
Last picture I have of my dog “Lucky!”
Longest Nerve in the Body?
Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve that connects the eyeball to the anus?
It’s called the Anal Optic Nerve, and it is responsible for giving people a shitty outlook on life.
If you don’t believe it, try pulling a hair from your ass and see if it doesn’t bring a tear to your eye!
The Top 5 Texts Sent From a Damaged Plane
A 4-foot hole tore open in the fuselage of a Southwest Airline plane, bringing a view of the blue sky into the cabin. During an emergency descent, many passengers chose to quickly send a few text messages before the plane eventually landed safely.
5> 30 secs 2 liv & im txting my shrink? im such a loser!
4> so much 4 clean undies
3> i’m afraid we’re not going to naked… make it! stupid autocorrect
2> we’re going down faster than your sister when she’s drunk
and The Number 1 Text Sent From a Damaged Plane…
1> screw em, i’m smoking
[ Copyright 2011 by Chris White/TopFive.com ]
I hear our buddy Karl a.k.a K-Squared’s wife favors this method. That’s why he does the majority of the housekeeping!
Well it’s finally happened, the thing we here at Dragon Laffs have been holding our breath over has come to pass. On April 2nd we here in DL Corporate suddenly heard the blaring of klaxons and all our computer monitors and lap top screens immediately began flashing a “DefCon ‘O’ Alert Status” message.
Obama had announced his bid for re-election using the ominously Socialist sounding tag line, “It begins with us.”
Being the helpful sort we would like to suggest an alternate slogan:
Obama 2012: FOUR MORE YEARS Because We Haven’t Totally Screwed Everything Up Yet! Relax we’re not supporting his bid for re-election. On the contrary my purpose is to launch our grass roots grumble over this liberal lunacy. If Obama’s slogan is going to really be “It begins with us” Then I say our counter rally cry should be “It stops with you”.