That wonderful smell wafting from your e-mailed issue of Dragon Laffs or from the blog is actually emanating from my kitchen. That’s the smell of hot baked scones being made, partly for my breakfast and partly for St Patrick’s Day tomorrow. NO YOU MAY NOT “JUST TRY ONE”! THESE ARE MINE! ALL MINE YOU HEAR??!! Keep your grubby paws and claws (that goes for you too Impish) off my scones! If you’re lucky you might find an Irish scone recipe or two below for you.
On and be sure to catch todays The Last Word been a good while since I went off on a rant and a recent event has me Irish up and is sure ta put a burr under your saddle as well when you read it.
Now stop sniffing all the fragrance out of my scone, go bake your own and…
Let’s Laugh Already!
When Impish said he was immersed in coffee culture he wasn’t kidding…That’s HIS scaled claw rejecting the button from the coffee!
COLUMBUS, Ga. (AP) — Aflac Inc. said Monday it has fired Gilbert Gottfried, the abrasive voice of the insurer’s quacking duck in the U.S., after the comedian posted a string of mocking jokes about the earthquake and tsunami in Japan on Twitter over the weekend.
The tasteless tweets are particularly problematic for Aflac because it does 75 percent of its business in Japan. One in four homes in Japan buys health insurance from Aflac.
Hope HE has Aflac insurance as part of his contract, because after shooting his own foot off he’s sure going to need it!
Scones, Scones and MORE Scones!
Raisin-Apple Scones (from Claridge’s Hotel, London)
3 c. self-rising flour
1/2 c. sugar
3/4 c. (1-1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, cold and cut into small pieces plus more at room temperature for serving
1 c. buttermilk
1 lg. egg, beaten
1 sm. green apple, peeled, cored, and grated
1/3 c. raisins
sugar crystals for sprinkling
clotted cream for serving
Preheat the oven to 350° F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
Combine the flour and sugar in a food processor. Add the cup of butter and pulse 8 to 10 times, or until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Transfer to a large bowl, then stir in the buttermilk and egg with a wooden spoon until a soft dough begins to form.
Transfer the dough to a lightly floured work surface and, with floured hands, knead in the apples and raisins. Divide the dough in half and form each half into a ball. Flatten each into a 1-inch thick disk. Place on the prepared baking sheet and, with a serrated knife that has been dipped into flour, score the dough into 6 wedges. Sprinkle the tops with sugar crystals. Alternatively, you can bake these in large (8) or mini (16) cast-iron scone pans.
Bake the scones for 25 to 30 minutes, or until the tops are golden and a skewer inserted into one of the wedges comes out clean. Remove from the oven and let cool for 10 minutes. Serve warm with butter or clotted cream, if desired. Makes 12 scones.
Cranberry Orange Scones
– 3 c. self-rising flour
– 1/2 c. sugar
– 1 stick unsalted butter
– 3/4 c. – 1 c.buttermilk
– 1/4 c. orange juice
– 1/2 c. chopped cranberries (use fresh, freeze until firm and then chop in food processor)
– Zest of 1 orange
– 1 c. powdered sugar
– 2-3 T. orange juice
Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Combine flour and sugar. Cut in butter until mixture is coarse and crumbly. Add cranberries and orange zest or peel. Add orange juice to 1/2 c. buttermilk. Stir this mixture into the flour mixture to make a soft dough. If mixture is too dry, add more buttermilk. Turn out on a floured board, form into a circle and cut into 8 pie shaped wedges.
Place scones close together on a cookie sheet sprayed with vegetable oil. Bake in preheated 400 degrees oven for 12-20 minutes or until nicely browned and done — depending on your oven. Brush with glaze while still hot. Enjoy!
Scones are best served warm. They can be stored in a sealed container and may be reheated in foil before serving.
Makes 10-16 scones depending on the size.
Chocolate Raspberry Scone Recipe:
2 cups (260 grams) all purpose flour
1/3 cup (65 grams) granulated white sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
6 tablespoons (75 grams) unsalted butter, cold and cut into pieces
2 ounces dark chocolate chunks or chips (about 1/2 cup) (50 grams)
3/4 cup fresh or frozen raspberries
1/2 cup (120 ml) whole milk plain yogurt
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 large egg, lightly beaten
Raspberry Scone: Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (177 degrees C) and place rack in middle of oven. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Cut the butter into small pieces and blend into the flour mixture with a pastry blender or two knives. The mixture should look like coarse crumbs. Stir in the chocolate chunks (chips) and raspberries. In a small measuring cup whisk together the yogurt, vanilla extract, and egg. Add this mixture to the flour mixture and stir just until the dough comes together. Do not over mix.
Transfer to a lightly floured surface and knead the dough gently four or five times and then pat, or roll, the dough into a circle that is about 7 inches (18 cm) round and about 11/2 inches (3.75 cm) thick. Cut the dough into eight triangles. Place the scones on the baking sheet.
Bake for about 18 to 20 minutes or until golden brown and a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean. Remove from oven and place on a wire rack.
Although not necessary, if you want the tops of the scones to be crispy, then turn your broiler on high. Sprinkle confectioners (powdered or icing) sugar over the tops of the scones and place them under the broiler. Broil for just a few seconds, turning the pan as necessary, until the sugar has melted and turns golden brown. Make sure to watch the scones carefully as the sugar will burn very quickly. Transfer to a wire rack to cool.
Makes 8 scones.
Impish & Mrs. Dragon his wife were awakened at 3:00 a.m. on the night of St. Patrick’s Day by a loud pounding on the door.
Impish gets up and goes to the door where a drunken Lethal Leprechaun standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
“Not a chance,” says the Dragon, “it is 3:00 in the morning!”
He slams the door and returns to bed.
“Who was that?” asked his wife..
“Just a very drunk Leprechaun asking for a push,” Impish answers
“Did you help him?” she asks.
“No, I did not, it’s 3am in the morning and it’s bloody pouring rain out there!”
“Well, you have a short memory,” says Mrs. Dragon. “Can’t you remember about
three months ago when we broke down, and Lethal and his buddy helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself! “God loves the drunken Wee Folk too you know.”
Impish does as he is told, ( wisely knowing he has no choice and will get no peace until he does) gets dressed, and goes out into the driving rain.
He calls out into the dark, “Hello, Lethal! Are you still there?”
“Aye that I am,” comes back the answer.
“Do you still need a push?” calls out the Dragon.
“Yes, please!” comes the reply from the dark.
“Where the hell are you?” asks Impish.
“Over here on the swing,” replied the drunken Leprechaun.
Thanks to Beamrider for this next bit o’ wisdom….
An Irishman’s Life Philosophy
“In life, there are only two things to worry about,
either you are well, or you are sick.
If you are well, there is nothing to worry about,
but if you are sick, you have two things to worry about;
either you will live, or you will die.
If you live, there is nothing to worry about,
if you die, you have two things to worry about;
either you will go to heaven or to hell.
If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about,
but if you go to hell, you’ll be so busy shaking hands with your friends,
you won’t have time to worry!”
“Tis true Beamrider ‘tis very true indeed. We Irish have a saying… ”If you’re lucky enough ta be born Irish, then you’re lucky enough!” Fortunately for the rest of you poor folk once a year we take piety on you non Irish people!
That’s a photo of an actual beam in the entrance to the Guinness Brewery
Now me own dear Molly has seen fit ta “grace” us with a groaner! Is there no end to these torturous things!
So this ghost floats into a restaurant. He asks the waiter for a glass of water. The waiter says he can’t serve him. The ghost leaves. He tries three other places, but gets the same response.
When he’s refused a fourth time, the ghost gets angry. He demands to know why he can’t get a glass of water anywhere in town. The waitress smiles apologetically and says, ‘This is a dry county, we can’t serve spirits.”
Well it seems I’ve lost me Leprechaun Libations Graphic for now so we’ll just have to wing it. If you ask me this next libation is the prefect mid afternoon accompaniment to those scones I’m sure you have baking by now
Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he’d just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he’s walking with a limp.
“What happened to you?” asks Sean, the bartender.
“Jamie O’Conner and me had a fight,” says Paddy.
“That little shit, O’Conner?” says Sean, “He couldn’t do that to you, he must have had something in his hand.”
“That he did,” says Paddy, “a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin’ he gave me with it too.”
“Well,” says Sean, “you should have defended yourself, didn’t you have something in your hand?”
“That I did,” said Paddy. “Mrs. O’Conner’s tit and a thing of beauty it was, but bloody useless in a fight.”
Snakes, Mimes, Lawyers, Dragons, what’s it matter they’re all bloody annoying away way!
A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk just sits there. Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall. The drunk mumbles, “Ain’t no use knockin’, there’s no paper on this side either”.
Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Shamus, were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard.
“Come have a look over here,” says Paddy, “It’s Michael O’Grady’s grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87.”
“That’s nothing”, says Sean, “here’s one named Patrick O’Tool. It says here that he was 95 when he died.”
Just then, Shamus yells out, “Good God, here’s a fella that got to be 145!”
“What was his name?” asks Paddy.
Shamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims, “Miles, from Dublin.”
Airline apologizes for plane prayer scare
By Eric Marrapodi, CNN Belief Blog Co-Editor March 15th, 2011 02:01 PM ET
“Alaska Airlines embraces the cultural and religious diversity of our passengers and employees. We apologize for the experience these three passengers went through after landing in Los Angeles as well as for any inconvenience to our other customers onboard,” Alaska Airlines spokeswoman Bobbie Egan said.
“Flight attendants observed unusual behavior from three male passengers that continued during the four-hour flight,” Egan said in a statement issued late Monday.
Egan said three specific instances that went beyond the men’s prayers appeared to be unusual behavior to the crew:
Flight attendants instructed everyone to stay seated with their seatbelts fastened as the aircraft flew through turbulence shortly after takeoff. The three passengers disregarded repeated requests, however, and stood up several times to retrieve objects from their luggage in the overhead bin that the crew had never seen, including small black boxes fastened with what appeared to be black tape. The crew learned after the plane landed that these were tefillin boxes worn during the prayer ritual.
The men prayed aloud together in a language unfamiliar to the crew while wearing what appeared to be black tape and wires strapped to their forearms and foreheads and wires on their chests. Their actions and behavior made some other travelers and the crew uneasy. The three passengers responded, but provided very little explanation, to a flight attendant’s questions about the tefillin boxes and what they were doing.
Later in the flight, two of the three passengers visited the lavatories together while the third waited in the aisle and continually looked around the cabin and toward the flight deck door. Flight attendants thought he appeared anxious, as if he were standing guard.
During weekday prayers, some Orthodox Jewish men wear teflillin, or phylacteries – black leather straps wrapped around the left arm and around the forehead. The straps are connected to small boxes with tiny scrolls containing Jewish scriptures. Many Orthodox Jewish men also wear a prayer shawl called a tallit under their clothes, with knotted fringes at each of the four corners.
Rabbi Motti Seligson, a spokesman for Chabad-Lubavitch, an Orthodox Jewish movement, explained the ritual further to CNN:
Tefillin are two leather black boxes with sacred parchment inside hand-crafted by a special scribe. The boxes are bound on the arm and head during prayer to spiritually align the mind and heart. I would encourage airlines to sensitize its employees to the salient effect of the tefillin ritual – and would be more than happy to put them in touch with local rabbis who can teach their personnel more about this tradition.
According to the Anti-Defamation League, this issue comes up occasionally. Last year after a similar incident, the ADL and Chabad sent a letter and a flier to all the major airlines explaining teflillin, said Deborah Lauter, ADL’s director of civil rights.
“We understand these prayer items may not be familiar. We gave them the suggestions that they do training about it. We had hoped they would include this in their training,” Lauter said.
She said she is sending a letter to Alaska Airlines again to remind them.
Lauter said there is an onus on both parties in such a situation.
“The safety of passengers is paramount, and in this age of heightened security people are on edge. I think it’s understandable why people would have this reaction. There has to be a give and take too with the passengers. If they weren’t cooperating, that’s a different problem than religious sensitivity,” she said.
“Education is a two way street. We hope airlines will include this training with their staffs,” Lauter said. “It also wouldn’t hurt for passengers who are going to be participating in this ritual to alert the staff ahead of time.”
WHAT UTTER BRAIN DEAD BULLSHIT!
With apology to my friends on here of the Jewish persuasion as well as any additional readers of the Hebrew faith, I have to speak out on this as I see this as a totally inane situation from the get go and both the reaction and response to it as asinine. This is a clear demonstration of what is wrong with this country and why the liberal touchy feely mindset is killing us and leaving us wide open and unprotected to our terrorist enemies.
Though none of the articles I have read on this say clearly, (I have read multiple. In addition to the above referenced also http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2011/03/14/prayers-spark-scare-on-airplane/, http://www.vosizneias.com/78659/2011/03/15/seattle-wa-airline-apologizes-for-plane-prayer-scare/, http://www.ktla.com/news/landing/ktla-suspicous-airlines-prayers,0,2384037.story , and lastly http://www.theblaze.com/stories/passengers-prayers-trigger-cockpit-lockdown-on-la-flight/ , where I HIGLY recommend reading some of the responses which I will in edited from be quoting here.) as near as I can determine the prayers in question are known as Shacharit or Shaharit from the Hebrew shachar or shahar “morning light.” They can be said anytime from the crack of dawn up until noon and still fulfill and Orthodox Jew’s religious requirements! Can anyone then explain to me why it was necessary to make such a big show of them mid flight and why they felt so compelled to start that they figured their prayer needs meant they could disregard the orders of the flight crew and endanger their safety as well as those of the other passengers? Surely special dispensations must exist for extenuating circumstances. If not and they were so concerned with having the opportunity to pray is it not more reasonable to expect them to book their travel around their prayer requirements rather than expect the airline and the other passengers to accommodate them? What that axiom I was taught as a child? Oh yeah! “The good of the MANY must ought way the good of the FEW or the one.” Guess that one never got translated into Hebrew!
The airline has NO reason to be making any apology to ANYONE for following Safety and Security Protocols which are in place because of the unpleasant realities of modern air travel specifically for this reason and situation! If anybody needs to be making apologies it’s these 3 stooges for having their heads inserted so far up their over religiously zealous asses that they scared enough people tripped enough warning sign and refused to follow flight crew instructions as to cause an incident in the first damned place!
Lets take a HARD look at what the flight crew was confronted with: 3 men who from what I gather they had information were Mexican Nationals disobeying the flight crews orders almost immediately from take off. They take unfamiliar (dare I say unusual or uncommon?) boxes out of their luggage while disobeying the flight crew to obtain them and then strap them to their body concealed under their clothes. They then began speaking and chanting in a language that was not Spanish or English (presumably the only two languages an air crew on a Mexico City to Los Angles run would be expected to be fluent in) that might or might not be Arabic to the untrained ear. Now add in their refusal to explain what they are doing (ok GRANTED the rules of their religion prohibit stopping the prayers or speaking other than the prayers during them but how are the air crew expected to reasonably know that?) On top of this lets add the en masse trip to the rest room while the other one appears to be standing watch the entire time.
Now lets consider this being for a minute say El Al (national airline of Israel) who has similar rules to ours for similar situation and lets say they 3 in question were American and doing the same thing but speaking for example Gaelic ( a language we can assume reasonably would be unknown in Israel). Exactly how far do you think the situation would have been allowed to progress until they were forcibly taken into custody aboard the flight by IDF personal that are on every flight? Further do you think for ONE SECOND that the MINUTE the passengers ignored the flight crew to retrieve items from their luggage and secrete them on their bodies that an El Al flight crew would not declare an emergency and either do an immediate 180 or divert to the nearest alternate landing site?
The Air Alaska crew continued an approximately 2900 mile flight and landed at its destination and then asked that the strange behavior and the repeated refusals to obey the flight crew be investigated. Let’s also keep in mind that had an Air Marshal been aboard the flight their repeated refusals to obey the air crew was in and of itself more than enough justification to arrest them and press charges! Anyone see an over reaction here on the part of Air Alaska? Anyone at all? Speak up! No? I shouldn’t think so!
The Anti-Defamation League (which IMHO is nothing more than a religious version of the ACLU and like the ACLU never misses a chance for a sound byte or headline) should never have stuck their noses into this much less made a comment on it. There was no defamation, no religious persecution or oppression. This ENTIRE affair should have been a nonstarter ESPECIALLY in light of the fact that the three were not charged with anything INCLUDING failure to obey the flight crew which IS an offense! The Anti-Defamation League’s call for what amounts to religious “sensitivity training” and special consideration of Orthodox Jews is not only unwarranted but wholly uncalled for to the point of being out of line! They need to wake up and realize being Jewish, even Orthodox Jewish is not a get out of jail for not acting socially responsible card! How can I say this? Several reasons.
1.) Exactly how many Mexican National Orthodox Jews are there that one can reasonably expect that flight crews operating in and out of Mexican airports should be expected to recognize them on sight and correctly interpret their actions and behavior?
1b.) Just how many languages should we expect these flight crews to be fluent in or be able to identify/distinguish?
2.) If Airlines are going to be expected to go thru religious training extensive enough that they can recognize Orthodox Jewish prayer rituals do we end the religious training there? What about Taoism, Confucianism, Buddhism? Some Catholic monastic orders observe the offices of the day and night with Gregorian Chanted Hymns and Antiphons. Do we require them to have religious sensitivity training for these religions as well or are we just treating Jews and Muslims special? (CERTAINLY we’re NOT guilty of discriminating in their favor or reverse profiling!)
3.) Since when does being of a certain faith confer the expectation or right that you can disregard federal flight laws much less with impunity? If being famous or a member of our own government does not bestow these rights on an air traveler where to these there get off believing being overly devout foreign Orthodox Jews on a US air carrier does?
4.) Quoting from the readers comments in: http://www.theblaze.com/stories/passengers-prayers-trigger-cockpit-lockdown-on-la-flight/
a.) Why would any sane person go through these kinds of rituals on an airplane? Forget “security” and the Gestapo-esque thing we’ve turned air travel into a moment and think simply of consideration for your fellow man, would you really go through a huge ritual on an airplane like that? WTF?
b.) (amplifying on the absurdity of “a” above for just a moment)
The people praying on that plane were doing it as a public display, for whatever reason they felt it necessary.
Jesus told us in his Sermon on the Mount;
Matthew 6:5 “Also, when YOU pray, YOU must not be as the hypocrites; because they like to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the broad ways to be visible to men. Truly I say to YOU, They are having their reward in full. 6 You, however, when you pray, go into your private room and, after shutting your door, pray to your Father who is in secret; then your Father who looks on in secret will repay you. 7 But when praying, do not say the same things over and over again, just as the people of the nations do, for they imagine they will get a hearing for their use of many words. 8 So, do not make yourselves like them, for God YOUR Father knows what things YOU are needing before ever YOU ask him.
So I’m forced to ask just how devout and sincere these strict Orthodox Jews actually were that they should make this scene in public calling attention to themselves and creating a disturbance, to say nothing of a security incident?
c.) @SELAROMYAR and others thinking the same. I went to a university with a large Jewish population, had a Jewish roommate, lived and worked in Miami Beach, FL and NEVER saw or heard of this prayer ritual. Until, it occurred on a flight last year. It is NOT the flight crew’s responsibility to know every religious ritual. It IS their job to safely conduct a flight from point A to point B, while insuring the safety, and security of their passengers. And, should anything appear to, or actually jeopardize those priorities, the crew should and must take appropriate precautions and actions. WAKE UP America, those who want to do us harm are patient and vigilant. And, will use any means possible to “PING” the system. Perhaps the traveling public should be aware of what makes flight crews and fellow travelers suspicious and uncomfortable, and brief the crew of their intentions (since as I am sure you know, while performing this prayer ritual they are not supposed to speak to others). Better yet, I am sure God would hear and answer their prayers if they were said on the ground, before or after the flight. Let’s all be a part of the solution, and not part of the problem.
And that last comment in my opinion is the best argument of all! We cannot afford to be tolerant understand lenient or lax because the terrorist are always probing and looking for angles, loopholes and weakness to exploit without us creating additional ones to help them!
Flying is a privilege not a right! If you are going to abuse bend fracture or twist the privilege to suit you because in your pinheaded narrow minded but wide open mouthed chip on your shoulder liberal opinion you’re “special” and above the rules then by god you should expect those rule to snap right back and knock you flat on your ass. Then the Air Marshals, Tasers at the ready and guns drawn should come t publicly humiliate you by cuffing you to drag your ass off for a forced education in modern social etiquette and travel safety and by GOD I hope it hurts BAD when they do it too!
Those three praying trouble makers are the ones who owe the Air Alaska and every person on the plane, as well as the entire Flight crew and everyone on the Emergency Response Team an apology! Then they should be hauled off in front of a Federal Judge to justify their actions and explain why they should not be charged with creating a disturbance on an Air flight and placed on the Prohibited From Flying For Showing Epic Stupidity No-Fly List.
Particularly Lord every terrorist bastard with evil in his eye and the murder of innocents in his heart! In fact Lord, I’d be much beholding ta ya if you could see your way clear to turning their neck as well…. just until they snap that is!