Good Morning Campers! I hope everyone is having a truly glorious day! Yes, I know you would normally have had the weekend edition of Leprechaun Laffs to giggle over this morning, but I got a call, late last night that our own Lethal Leprechaun has been called in this morning to testify at Faire Court. Now, we’re not sure if it is for something he is guilty of or something he has witnessed. Knowing our Lethal, he’s probably guilty as sin! But, also knowing our Lethal, he’s bought off the judge, the jury and both lawyers and he’ll have them all proclaiming his innocence from the roof-tops (that is…if they ever want to see their kidlets home again!) before noon. Then he’ll have steaks and drinks with the attorneys from both sides and be home by the middle of the afternoon so he can watch his favorite soap opera, “As the Dragon Flames.”
Or, I’ll get a call here in a couple of hours to get bail together and go get him.
Now, let’s get on with the laughter!
TEXAS WINS AGAIN!
RECENTLY THEIR WAS A COLLEGE CONTEST TO PRESENT THE BEST EMBLEM WHICH REPRESENTS YOUR UNIVERSITY —TEXAS WON HANDS DOWN!!!!
Quite good fun this one:
Being a dragon, my diet includes all kinds of things that most people wouldn’t consume. Villagers, cows, sheep, the normal sacrificial virgin of course and the occasional living room sofa. But there are some things, that even a self-respecting dragon won’t eat….and here’s 12 of them…
12 Delicious Edible Insects
Published on Today 3/4/2011 under Misc – by Beverly Jenkins –
Read the following before you watch..
This is from a Dallas news broadcast.
Watch the left side of the table when it comes into view and the small
desert lizard on that side of the table.
Remember the man on the left is not paying attention to the lizard crawling
towards him but is concentrating on the snake the other guy is holding…
This one is so terrible that it’s got to improve to be bad….Thanks to Stephanie for this one…
A man goes to his doctor for a check-up. Half way through, the doctor tells him to take down his trousers. The doctor pulls forward his pants and stands back in surprise, as there is a squirrel in a chauffeur’s uniform and little hat.
The doctor, in disbelief, looks again; and, sure enough, there is a squirrel, but he is dressed as a chauffeur. “Did you know you have got a squirrel dressed as a chauffeur down your pants?” asks the doctor.
“Yes,” says the man, “and he’s driving me nuts.”
And another set of….
Dear (blank), Sincerely, (blank)
Dear little girls,
We would appreciate it if you left our hair the way it came.
Sincerely, Barbies of the world.
Dear person texting while walking,
Sorry for breaking your nose. Can you see me now?
Sincerely, lamp post.
Dear emails and text messages,
Please find a way to clearly express my sarcasm.
Sincerely, I keep pissing people off.
Dear everything I own,
Must be nice to have the power of invisibility.
Sincerely, seriously, I set you down for two seconds.
I know, right?
Sincerely, The Grinch.
Dear ancient Mayans,
Your prediction skills can’t be that great… You didn’t even see the Spanish coming.
Dear self checkout,
I DID put the item in the bagging area!!
Sincerely, annoyed customer.
Dear unborn son,
Please note that your name will be Luke purely so I can say “Luke, I am your Father” when you question my authority.
Sincerely, soon to be father.
Dear guy with the British accent,
You instantly became more attractive. Say more words.
Sincerely, average American girl.
Sincerely, Lindsey Lohan.
If you love us so much, why do you keep eating all of our food?
Where do you dig to?
Sincerely, the rest of the world.
Dear brain surgeons,
It doesn’t seem that difficult.
Sincerely, rocket scientists.
Apparently size really does matter.
Please get theme music.
Sincerely, my life would be so much more epic.
Sincerely, the book
Dear ketchup bottle,
Please never stop making that farting noise when you’re almost out. It will always be funny.
Sincerely, people of all ages.
Your fire drills make no sense, but they’re REALLY fun.
Sincerely, An Amused American.
Dear Clorox Bleach,
Sincerely, 0.01% of Bacteria.
Dear Windshield Wipers,
Can’t touch this.
Sincerely, That Little Triangle.
I LOVE this joke! Thanks Stephanie!
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a German, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Jap, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek and an African went to a night club.
The bouncer said “I’m sorry, I can’t let you in without a Thai” !!!!!!!!
Believe it or not……
A revelation with an Incredibly Big Message (IBM):
Well, you might have thought that you knew how the Internet started,
but here’s the TRUE story …
In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot.
And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.
And she said unto Abraham, her husband: “Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?”
And Abraham did look at her – as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said: “How, dear?”
And Dot replied: “I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah’s Pony Stable (UPS).”
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.
To prevent neighboring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was called Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures – Hebrew To The People (HTTP).
But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secret himself inside Abraham’s drum and began to siphon off some of Abraham’s business. But he was soon discovered, arrested and prosecuted – for insider trading.
And the young men did take to Dot Com’s trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.
And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land.
And indeed did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates’ drumheads and drumsticks.
And Dot did say: “Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others.”
And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as it came to be known. He said: “We need a name that reflects what we are.”
And Dot replied: “Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators.”
“YAHOO,” said Abraham.
And because it was Dot’s idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.
Abraham’s cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot’s drums to locate things around the countryside. It soon became known as God’s Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE)
And that is how it all began.
Remember our, “No wonder you failed the exam”? Well, how about a couple more. This is great stuff and you just can’t make this up.