It is? You wouldn’t toy with a Leprechaun now would you? I’m a Leprechaun on the edge, I’ve your charge cards and know how to use them…and more importantly what your spending limits are! ‘Tis been a long week for both me self and that bloody dragon who’s round ‘bout here someplace whining about The Almighty only knows what next and we’re both looking forward to the weekend and some sanity restoring down time (as if one weekend could restore either of our sanities)!
Impish is getting his first treatment to hopefully reduce the condition causing him so much pain this morning. As usual he expressed to me (what I see as overly optimistic) plans for having an actual DragonLaffs issue out today or tomorrow however I would expect that given what torture is being done to him in the name of medicine he MIGHT have one done for Monday. Mean while let’s…
Engage the Laughter Drive!
One day a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, ‘What setting do I use on the washing machine?’ ‘It depends,’ I replied. ‘What does it say on your shirt?’ He yelled back, ‘OHIO STATE!’ And they say blondes are dumb….
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, ‘I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world…’ The woman replies, ‘I’ll miss you…… ‘.
‘It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,’ Jack says as he stepped out of the shower.. ‘Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?’ ‘Probably that I married you for your money,’ she replied.
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor <or bloody GAY!>
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I’ll beat him to death. AMEN
———— ——— ——— ———
Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy. .
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end to wipe..
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the email folder ‘Instruction Manuals’
While creating husbands, God promised women that good and ideal husbands would be found in all corners of the world………
………….Then He made the earth round.
<just goes to show God IS male & DOES have a sense of humor>
Well THAT certainly goes a LONG way to explaining those weird noises reported by Security coming from Impish’s private quarters at night now doesn’t it!
8 Stupid Amazon Products With Impressively Sarcastic Reviews
Everybody is a comedian these days, and the Internet has given us all an enormous stage. Maybe the best example is a supposedly comedy-free site like Amazon.com.
The deal is, anybody can write a review, on any product, whether they have bought it or not. So it’s just a matter of finding a baffling/ridiculous/useless product and watching the Internet’s sarcasm run wild. For instance, just check out the reviews for …
The teacher was trying to get the class to understand how the Indians must have felt when they first encountered the Spanish explorers.
“How would you feel,” she asked, “If someone showed up on your doorstep looking very different, spoke a strange language and wore unusual clothes? wouldn’t you be a bit scared?”
“Nah” one boy answered, “I’d just figure it was my sister’s date.”
As I serviced an alarm system at a jewelry store recently, the saleswoman let me know that the store was having a 20% off sale.
“I bet your girlfriend would love it if you bought her something.” she suggested.
“I don’t have a girlfriend,” I answered.
“No, my wife won’t let me.”
Re-calibrating your mouse.
You should actually do this every year.. Even more often if you spend a lot of time on the computer. This is recommended by Kim Komando (the computer guru) in one of her recent emails. I was shocked to see how well this works, and how far off mine was! To re-calibrate your mouse, click and hold on the capital G below, then drag it toward the small g. If it doesn’t work immediately, you might want to clean your mouse, as the calibration is off.
Goodlord!! You’ll believe anything
I’M SURE YOU WILL ALSO RECOMMEND THIS TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS ONCE YOU SEE HOW MUCH SMOOTHER AND BETTER THE MOUSE WORKS AFTER BEING CALIBRATED! AMAZING!
The sad thing about that is not only am I my own boss and work largely from home, tonight is laundry night besides!