Leprechaun Laff # 28 Weekend Edition


DL - Leprechaun Laffs

 

Garfield Is It Friday YetIt is? You wouldn’t toy with a Leprechaun now would you? I’m a Leprechaun on the edge, I’ve your charge cards and know how to use them…and more importantly what your spending limits are! ‘Tis been a long week for both me self and that bloody dragon who’s round ‘bout here someplace whining about The Almighty only knows what next and we’re both looking forward to the weekend and some sanity restoring down time (as if one weekend could restore either of our sanities)!

Impish is getting his first treatment to hopefully reduce the condition causing him so much pain this morning. As usual he expressed to me (what I see as overly optimistic) plans for having an actual DragonLaffs issue out today or tomorrow however I would expect that given what torture is being done to him in the name of medicine he MIGHT have one done for Monday. Mean while let’s…

Engage the Laughter Drive!

0119 WatchThis

 

One day a housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt.   Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, ‘What setting do I use on the washing machine?’ ‘It depends,’ I replied.  ‘What does it say on your shirt?’ He yelled back, ‘OHIO STATE!’ And they say blondes are dumb….
————

A couple is lying in bed. The man says,  ‘I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world…’ The woman replies, ‘I’ll miss you…… ‘.
————

‘It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,’ Jack says as he stepped out of the shower.. ‘Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?’ ‘Probably that I married you for your money,’ she replied.
————-
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumor  <or bloody GAY!>
———

Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,  I’ll beat him to death. AMEN
———— ——— ——— ———
Q: Why do little boys whine?

A: They are practicing to be men.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— —
Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?

A: Trustworthy. .
———— ——
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
————  —
Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?

A: It helps them remember which end to wipe..
————  —-
Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the email folder ‘Instruction Manuals’
————

While creating husbands, God promised women that good and ideal husbands would be found in all corners of the world………

………….Then He made the earth round.

<just goes to show God IS male & DOES have a sense of humor>

greenline

Newest Male Enhancement Drug–You Can Hear When It’s Working

Well THAT certainly goes a LONG way to explaining those weird noises reported by Security coming from Impish’s private quarters at night now doesn’t it!

mickey snicker

 

DL Introspection Header

 

8 Stupid Amazon Products With Impressively Sarcastic Reviews

 

Everybody is a comedian these days, and the Internet has given us all an enormous stage. Maybe the best example is a supposedly comedy-free site like Amazon.com.

The deal is, anybody can write a review, on any product, whether they have bought it or not. So it’s just a matter of finding a baffling/ridiculous/useless product and watching the Internet’s sarcasm run wild. For instance, just check out the reviews for …

Click Here raised Stone

DL - Animal Chatter HEader

icyhot in bikini wax

 

happy tummy

 

The teacher was trying to get the class to understand how the Indians must have felt when they first encountered the Spanish explorers.

“How would you feel,” she asked, “If someone showed up on your doorstep looking very different, spoke a strange language and wore unusual clothes? wouldn’t you be a bit scared?”

“Nah” one boy answered, “I’d just figure it was my sister’s date.”
_______________

As I serviced an alarm system at a jewelry store recently, the saleswoman let me know that the store was having a 20% off sale.

“I bet your girlfriend would love it if you bought her something.” she suggested.

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” I answered.

“No girlfriend?”

“No, my wife won’t let me.”

DL - Auto-Correct Attack

 

ass pounded  autocorrect

 

       ate-arabs

 

DL PSA Header

Re-calibrating your mouse.

You should actually do this every year..  Even more often if you spend a lot of time on the computer.  This is recommended by Kim Komando (the computer guru) in one of her recent emails.  I was shocked to see how well this works, and how far off mine was!  To re-calibrate your mouse, click and hold on the capital G below, then drag it toward the small g.  If it doesn’t work immediately, you might want to clean your mouse, as the calibration is off.

Goodlord!! You’ll believe anything

I’M SURE YOU WILL ALSO RECOMMEND THIS TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS ONCE YOU SEE HOW MUCH SMOOTHER AND BETTER THE MOUSE WORKS AFTER BEING CALIBRATED!  AMAZING!

 

greenline

Thought for the Day - Coming to Work

The sad thing about that is not only am I my own boss and work largely from home, tonight is laundry night besides!

 

DL Closing Credits

About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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