True Tales of the Life of Impish Dragon Chapter 5


Leprechaun here~

Before we get on with more true tales of Impish’s exploits , let me just say that the very fact that he took a book written by mischievous Leprechauns that we leave lying around for the gullible to pick up and follow as a sex help aid to keep the low IQ population down as real and gospel just goes to show the truthfulness behind these stories regarding him I keep revealing!

It ALSO goes a LONG way to explaining why he never seems to get any!

And now, more True Tales of the Life of Impish Dragon!

Impish ended up with an older woman at a club last night. She looked pretty good for a 50 yrs. old.
Then Impish found himself thinking that she probably had a really hot daughter. They drank a bit (well more than a bit) they had a bit of a snuggle, and then she asked him if I ever had a “Sportsman Double ?”

“What’s that?” Impish asked. “It’s a mother and daughter threesome” she said.

“Oh” Impish said as his mind began to embrace the idea. “No I haven’t.”  Impish wondered what this daughter of hers might look like.

They drank a bit more, then she said with a wink “Tonight is your lucky night.” They went back to her place. They walked in.
She turned on the hall light and shouted upstairs,” MOM YOU STILL AWAKE?

============

Impish met a girl in the park the other evening.

There was an instant spark between them and she immediately dropped to her knees and laid on the grass at his feet.

As they lay making love, Impish thought “These taser guns are well worth the money”.

============
While shopping for vacation clothes, ImpishDragon & Mrs Dragon passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since Mrs Dragon had even considered buying a bathing suit, so she sought Impish’s advice.

‘What do you think?’ she asked. ‘Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?’

‘Better get a bikini,’ he replied. ‘You’d never get it all in one.’

He’s still in intensive care. Doctor says he should be out in a week (yeah and just long enough for Mrs Dragon to put him back in)

————————————–

The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance…

Impish looked at the pastor and calmly said, ‘Well, my Mother in Law is there and God’s getting what I used to get.’

Foolishly he uttered these words within ear shot of Mrs Dragon.

They immediately buried him (some say alive) right next to his Mother in Law.

About lethalleprechaun

I believe in being the kind of man who, when my feet touch the floor in the morn', causes the Devil to say "BUGGER ME! HIMSELF IS UP!" ======== I'm a White Married Heterosexual who fervently believes in the war(s) we are fighting, the Second Amendment which I plan on defending with my last breath and my last round of ammunition as well as Arizona's stringent law on Immigration and the need for the border wall. I'm a right of center Con-centrist with Tea Party & Republican sympathies who drives an SUV. I am a Life Time Member of the NRA, a Charter Member of the Patriots' Border Alliance and North American Hunters Association. If there is a season for it and I can shoot one I'll eat it and proudly wear its fur. I believe PETA exists solely to be a forum for Gays, Vegetarians, Hollywood snobbery to stupid to get into politics and Soybean Growers. The ACLU stopped protecting our civil liberties sometime after the 1960s and now serves its own bigoted headline grabbing agenda much in the same way as the Southern Poverty Law Center. I am ecstatic that WE the PEOPLE finally got mad enough to rise up and take back the Government from WE the ENTITLED and reverently wish the Liberals would just get over the loss and quit whining/protesting all the time. After all they're just reaping what they've sown. I am Pro-choice both when it comes to the issue of abortion AND school prayer. I believe in a government for the people, by the people which represents and does the people's will. Therefore I an Pro States rights and mandatory term limits but against special interest group campaign contributions and soft money. I think that sports teams who allow their players to sit or take a knee during the National Anthem should be boycotted until the message is received that this is not acceptable behavior for role models for children. I believe Congressional salaries should be voted on bi-annually by the people they represent and not by themselves. I think Congress should be subject to every law they pass on the populace including any regarding Social Security or Healthcare. Speaking of the Healthcare bill (or con job as I see it) I hope Trump will overturn it and set things back to normal. I oppose the building of an Mosque or ANY Islamic center at or within a 10 mile radius of Ground Zero in New York. I will fight those in favor of this until hell freezes over and then I will continue to fight it hand to hand on the ice. Further I think the ban on immigrants from certain nations known to harbor and promote terrorism is a justified measure, at least until we can come up with better methods of vetting and tracking those non citizens we allow in the country. We did not inflict this measure on them those who refuse to point out, denounce or fight radical religious terrorism brought this upon themselves.
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