So, I’m trying to get an early start on this one because it’s going to be an interesting week for me.  I have a conference/exercise with the FBI in Indianapolis on Wednesday and am taking my new guy with me.  Should be interesting to say the least.  Whenever you ever do anything with the FBI it’s interesting.

Then next week, I start a new course…actually, I start two new courses.  On Tuesday nights I am facilitating a course called Resilience.  That has the subheading of: “Finding Inner Strength in Impossible Situations”.  It’s the first time anyone in our organization has ever taught this one.  It actually has a real book that goes along with the workbook entitled Resilient by Dr. Bill Effler, subtitled: Tools for Getting Up After Life Knocks You Down. It looks really, REALLY good.  I’m excited about that.  So, that starts next Tuesday, then Wednesday is Jail night like normal, and then Thursday I’m starting something new JUST FOR ME!!! 

I’m starting FBI. No, not like Federal Bureau of Investigation, nor even Fat Boys In-charge. Nope, this is Faith Bible Institute. It is six semesters, three years of college level Bible study.  You actually get a degree when you are done. Not a full degree, but you know what I mean.  This is three hours every Thursday night and it is MY TIME for ME! It was either that or buy a motorcycle.

I spoke with my counselor and my pastor I told them both that I didn’t want them to take this the wrong way, that I wasn’t in any danger of hurting myself or anything like that, but that I’m to the point here lately that I don’t care if I live or die. And now don’t any of YOU take that the wrong way either. My counselor seems to think that I give and I give and I give and I’m not doing anything to fill me up.  I have the one ministry on Tuesday nights, the jail ministry on Wednesday nights, the Grief Group on base at noon every other Wednesday and Bible study on base at noon on the opposite Wednesdays, I do individual Grief counseling for anyone who calls me (so that’s on and off, sometimes [rarely] in the middle of the night), security for the church a couple of Sundays a month, plus all the additional work that goes into all of those things.

My pastor believes that I also can’t let anything go, that I take everything to heart, which is also true. And that it is okay sometimes to say “no”.  I’m not sure that I ever have said no to anyone.  Anyway, this weekend I have some of the guys coming over with the chipper to cut up that big pile of stuff in the backyard, I have to mow the yard sometime soon, if it will stop raining long enough and I have a ton of stuff to do to get ready for ALL of this stuff.

Whew!

What do you say we get to the good stuff, shall we?

Oh, by the way, by the time you read this, I’ll already have gone to the FBI conference.  For you guys that would have been yesterday or the day before, depending on when I get this one sent out.  LOL! 

This one is from Stephen B.  His latest carving.

My daughter-in-law asked if I had any plans for a seahorse.  I did not, so I looked them up on line and found a few.  Seahorses come in many different colors and my daughter-in-law picked the colors.  The sand is from our local beach and glued onto the base with plain white glue.

Very nicely done!

And from Lynn telling us about a problem with dinner:

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. 

– Mark Twain (1835-1910) 

A woman on a holiday trip stood in awe in front of an enormous tree.  “Oh, marvelous and ancient oak,” she enthused, “if you could only speak, what would you want to say to me?”

The woman standing nearby commented, “It probably would say, “Pardon me, madam, I am an elm.” 

Massachusetts  Laws

Candy may not contain more than 1% of alcohol.

Sister Mary burst into the office of the principal of Our Lady of Perpetual Motion parochial school in an advanced state of agitation.

“Father!” she cried, “Just WAIT until you hear this!” The priest led the sister to a chair, and said, “Now just calm down and tell me what has you so excited.” 

“Well, Father,” the nun began, “I was just walking down the hall to the chapel and I heard some of the older boys wagering money!” 

“A serious infraction, indeed!” said the priest. 

“But that’s not what has me so excited, Father.” Replied the nun, “It was WHAT they were wagering ON! They had wagered on a contest to see who could urinate the highest on the wall!!”

The priest exclaimed, “What a very serious infraction! What did you do?” 

The nun replied, “Well, I hit the ceiling, Father.” 

The Priest replied, “And how much did you win?” 

I want to thank Stephanie for the written Religious memes that I’ve shared in this issue.  I’ve also printed them out and I’m sharing them with my jail guys tomorrow night.

Sandra was sitting in a bar having a drink. 

This guy walked over and sat down next to her. He said, “You have that ‘lost’ look in your eyes.” 

Sandra said, “You’re close. It’s a ‘get lost’ look.” 

It was the morning after the consummation of the marriage of two senior citizens. 

The new bride awoke purring. Hearing her husband running water in the bathroom, she said, “Did you just brush your teeth?” 

The husband answered, “Yes, dear. And while I was at it, I brushed yours too.” 

One day a mouse was walking on the banks of a river that ran through the jungle. He saw a Hippopotamus in the water and shouted to the Hippopotamus, “Hey you, come out of the water onto this bank, NOW”. The Hippopotamus lumbered onto the bank as requested. The mouse then said, “OK, you can get back in the water now”.

The mouse continued walking along the bank until he came upon a lion having a little dip in the river. The mouse shouted across to the lion, “Hey you, up here, on this bank now!”. The lion was a little concerend about this ‘jumped up’ mouse giving him orders but he complied and climbed up onto the bank. The mouse then said, “OK, you can get back into the water now”. The lion shrugged and returned to the river. 

The mouse continued his trip along the banks of the river until he came across an elephant having a good old soak. The mouse shouted to the elephant. “Hey you, Mr. Elephant, up here on this bank now!”. The elephant lumbered out the water and was then told by the mouse to return to the water. 

The elephant however was a little bit annoyed about having his soak disturbed so he said to the mouse, “What is going on? I’ve just seen you call the Hippopotamus, the lion and now me out of the water, why are you doing this?”. 

The mouse replied, “If I find the son of a gun who stole my swimming trunks, I will kill him!”.

An old Atlantic City classic joke:
_______________

A textbook nerd is at the beach one day, baring his chest and showing off his pale, shrunken chest, and of course all the girls are laughing at him and drooling over the weight-lifting hunks. 

So in desperation the kid goes to the lifeguard and asks, “How can I do something to get these girls interested in me? What can I do to show off?” 

The lifeguard takes pity on this poor guy, with his puny muscles and baggy trunks and lanky hair, and finally he says, “Tell you what – why don’t you take a potato and stick it down your swim trunks. That way the girls will think you’ve got something really big and hard down there, and they’ll want you.” 

So the nerd decides to give it a try. He struts around the beach with a potato in his shorts, and all the girls give him weird, disgusting looks and tell him to get the hell out of there. The nerd can’t understand what’s going on, so he goes back to the lifeguard and asks, “What am I doing wrong? You said they’d like me if I put a potato in my shorts!” 

Without even batting an eye, the lifeguard says, “You gotta put the potato in the FRONT, kid!” 

As an enlisted sailor, I don’t feel that the Navy is advancing me in rank fast enough, so I’m going to change my last name to Stains. 

My guess is they would rather promote me than to have to refer to me as Seaman Stains.

Just once I’d like to read a medication label that reads:

WARNING!
May cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

He is dead on!!!

I remember that screen, but never figured out why there was an indian chief on there.

Yup!

Nope.

Work on it, you’ll get it.

That’s it for today my friends.  I hope you enjoyed the short issue.  There’s a lot going on, Kamala just named her pick for VP…another nut case.  The dude who wants to enact sharia law in Minnesota.  Um…NO!  I don’t mind anyone coming to the US to find a better life.  Come the right way.  Learn English.  Don’t try and turn our country into the one you just left. Become American!  Otherwise, stay OUT!  Get a job, pay taxes like the rest of us.  You didn’t work for social security or any other benefits, you don’t get any until you DO!  I’ll offer a helping hand to anyone who is willing to help themselves.  I WILL NOT feed someone who will not work for their own food.  You don’t work, you starve.  If you physically CAN’T work, that’s a different story.  Why can’t you work?  If it’s because you’re lazy, starve.  I’ve worked and held 4 jobs at the same time so as not to go on welfare in order to take care of my family, until I could get something better.  And I thanked God for those jobs. And those jobs helped me to get something better.  I’m nothing special. If I can do it, ANYONE can. I am ate up with arthritis and hurt every single day, am 65 years old and get up and go to work every day because I need to to plan for my daughter’s welfare.  No, it wasn’t supposed to be like this, but God is taking care of me.  If I can do it, through the pain, anyone can.  I wake up on a GOOD day in enough pain to put these useless children in an emergency room.  You don’t work, you don’t eat.  I EARNED my social security benefits.  When I do take them, I will take them gladly.  You illegals out there…HOW DARE YOU!

Okay…

I’m ranting.

I’m tired.  I haven’t had a day off in two weeks and I’m up super early tomorrow to go play with the FBI tomorrow, two hours away.  I hope it’s worth it.  For now, I’m going to go eat some left over pizza and call it a day.

My love and blessings to you all.

I am incredibly far behind this issue.  It’s Sunday night, I just got home from work, and nothing…and I mean NOTHING is done for this episode.  So, here’s what’s going to happen.  I’m going to work on this until I have to quit to go to bed.  I can’t work on it continuously because there are other things I have to do, but I will do the best that I can and you guys will get the best I can give you for tomorrow.  You probably won’t get a lot of commentary from me, just the memes, cartoons and jokes, but I honestly think that is what you mainly tune in for anyway.  No one is interested in hearing what I have to say.  So, without further ado, let’s jump right in!

This one is from Pop Smith especially to Stephanie for her Birthday … even though it’s late…

Plus, he says that he expects it back for his birthday on Sept 14th from Stephanie. MY question is, why am I in the middle of this?

This one is from Stephanie and it’s a weird one..

The Obscure Story Of Vermont’s Frozen Hill People Will Give You Goosebumps

We have the smartest readers!  Here’s the explaination for the seven doors and the Boeing-Boeing…from Aussie Pete:

The seven doors photo with the text Boeing-Boeing

refers to the seven doors required on stage

 to put on the play ‘Boeing-Boeing’.

A very funny play, see more details below.

Keep up the good work mate.

Regards from Aussie Pete.      Scroll down.

Boeing-Boeing is a farce written by the French playwright Marc Camoletti. The English-language adaptation, translated by Beverley Cross, was first staged in London at the Apollo Theatre in 1962 and transferred to the Duchess Theatre in 1965, running for seven years.^[1] In 1991, the play was listed in the Guinness Book of Records as the most performed French play throughout the world.he play is set in the 1960s, and centres on bachelor Bernard, who has a flat in Paris and three airline stewardesses all engaged to him without knowing about each other. Bernard’s life gets bumpy, though, when his friend Robert comes to stay, and complications such as weather and a new, speedier Boeing jet disrupt his careful planning. Soon, all three stewardesses are in the city simultaneously and catastrophe looms.

This ticked me off SO MUCH!  Under normal circumstances this would be a dragon rant and I would be on and on about it, instead, I will leave you with Stephen B’s write up and youtube.  

A female boxer at the Olympics in Paris faced a biological male. The female had to quit in 46 seconds.  Check out the picture of this person (in red) in the video.  The person in red looks more like a guy than I do.  LISTEN to what the past Olympian said, specifically the part where she said something to the effect of, ‘males should box males, females box females and transgender box transgender’.  What a powerful statement!  Why have I not heard this before?  Why hasn’t the world at large acted on this?  They have a Special Olympics for handicap people.  It’s time to make another class in ALL SPORTS for trans people.  It is NOT FAIR to the biological born athletes.

A joke……I once heard there was a guy in a bicycle race who was riding a Harley, but said his Harley identified as a bicycle.

Louisiana Law 

Stealing an alligator could land a person in jail for up to ten years. 

Okay, let me ask you guys a question straight out.  I got a comment on the blog that said basically, “What happened?  All I got was an ad.”  There should not be ANY ads showing up with Dragon Laffs.  I specifically PAY so that there are no ads.  Now, I know on the website (where everyone should be going, but I know that nobody does for some reason… I know, I know, it’s SO MUCH easier for you to get it in your email) there aren’t any ads, but are you guys getting ads in the email version?  If so, let me know please.  Anyway, I suppose I should start putting this in every issue…

So, to the rest…

I LOVE that picture!!!

You don’t truly grasp the size of eagles until one is right in front of you.

If anybody wants a list of all the famous Bugs Bunny quotes, I can send it to you as a WhatsApp doc.

Luke 9:23 ~ Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.”  I have the hardest time keeping that in mind sometimes.  Too much daily pain and loneliness, which leads to depression.  I know God wants me to pick up my cross and follow Him, but sometimes it gets hard to stay motivated to do that.

Another one A.I. generated by Impish

So I’m on my way to work and this Dodge Durango is in front of me and going slow.  Then I noticed it was for sale and the number was on the back window.  So, I decided to call it. 

Me:  I’m calling about the blue Durango.

Them: Okay, yes it’s for sale.

Me: Does it run?

Them: Yes it does.

Me: Well, step on the gas or get the heck out of my way!

So, right now it’s Sunday night and I’m trying to get as much done on Thursday/Friday’s issue as I can because EVERY night this week I’ve got something going on after work.  I volunteered to help out as security for our Vacation Bible School (VBS) at church from 1800 (6pm) to 2000 (8pm) on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday.  Wednesday I have Jail Ministry.  This is the only time frame that I usually have to work on DL.  I can maybe squeeze in a half hour here and there.  So, I am trying to get as much done as I can tonight so maybe I can have a real issue by then.  Just so you guys are aware this is going to be a rough week for me.

And I have another one coming up where I will be out of town.  I will be at Maxwell AFB in Alabama for a week at the end of August for a class called the Emergency Operations Center Director.  It’s basically filling a square for me since I could go there and teach the course, but since I haven’t had it I’m supposed to.  Gotta love it.  Alabama in August.

Izzy said, “You haven’t had to go to any classes in a long time.”  I said, “Honey, that’s because I can teach most of the classes now.”  LOL.

Anyway, back to the show.

That’s disgusting, but true.

This one is from Lynn, I have to say, I’m pretty impressed with her husband…

My husband is the very best! Every contractor we contacted to do our addition wanted to overcharge us by making up silly words and phrases about things we “needed”. We must have tried 2 dozen different ones and they all wanted to do things by something called “code” and put in reinforced foundation blah blah blah’s. 

Well “screw that noise”, said my husband. Resourceful like he is, he went onto YouTube and learned how to do our addition all by himself. Yes, that’s right you overpriced scamming contractors, he did it all by himself for 10% of the price you all estimated. 

Once he figures out why it keeps sinking in the one corner, we will be moving our downstairs gym to the new addition (I run out of breath going downstairs). 

Don’t let contractors scam you into overpaying. I hope our testimonial here inspires even more do-it-yourselfers to do it cheaper themselves

Now my wife says she wants an infinity pool.

It never ends, does it?

People act shocked when there is a shark sighting around here. Good rule of thumb for Florida. If you see water, taste it. If it’s salty there are sharks in it…if not salty, there are alligators in it.

I hate when people ask me if I did anything exciting over the weekend…like I’m over here skydiving.  I’m old.  I went to walmart, did some laundry, ate too much food, and took a nap.

Just because I like to walk around in my underwear, eating Doritos, does not make me strange.

You folks in aisle 4 just need to stop staring.

Just more evidence.  This one is called Epic Incompetence.  Thanks Sasquatch:

I just really like the last one.

Marriage Tip:

Tighten the lids on all the jars in the house. She’ll have to speak to you eventually.

A father, son and grandson went to the country club for their weekly round of golf.
 
Just as they reached the first tee, a beautiful young blonde woman carrying her bag of clubs approached them.
She explained that the member who brought her to the club for a round of golf had an emergency that called him away and asked the trio whether she could join them.
 
Naturally, the guys all agreed.
 
Smiling, the blonde thanked them and said, “Look, fellows, I work in a topless bar as a dancer, so nothing shocks me anymore. If any of you want to smoke cigars, have a beer, bet, swear, tell off-colour stories or do anything that you normally do when playing a round together, go ahead. But, I enjoy playing golf, consider myself pretty good at it, so don’t try to coach me on how to play my shots.”
 
With that the guys agreed to relax and invited her to drive first.
 
All eyes were fastened on her as she bent to place her ball on the tee. She then took her driver and hit the ball 270 yards down the middle, right in front of the green.
 
The father’s mouth was agape. “That was beautiful,” he said.
 
The blonde put her driver away and said, “I really didn’t get into it, and I faded it a little.”
 
After the three guys hit their drives and their second shots, the blonde took out an eight iron and lofted the ball within five feet of the hole. (She was closest to the pin.)
 
The son said, “Damn, lady, you played that perfectly.”
 
The blonde frowned and said, “It was a little weak, but even an easy seven would have been too much club. I’ve left a tricky little putt.” She then tapped in the five-footer for a birdie.
 
Having the honors, she drove first on the second hole, knocked the heck out of the ball, and it landed nearly 300 yards away smack in the middle of the fairway.
 
For the rest of the round the blonde continued to amaze the guys, quietly and methodically shooting for par or less on every hole.
 
When they arrived at the 18th green, the blonde was three under par, and had a very nasty 12-foot putt on an undulating green for a par.
 
She turned to the three guys and said, “I really want to thank you all for not acting like a bunch of chauvinists and telling me what club to use or how to play a shot, but I need this putt for a 69 and I’d really like to break 70 on this course.
 
If any one of you can tell me how to make par on this hole I’ll take him back to my apartment, pour some 35-year-old Single Malt Strath Mill Scotch for him, fix him a steak dinner and then show him a very good time the rest of the night.”
 
The yuppie son jumped at the thought! He strolled across the green, carefully eyeing the line of the putt and finally said, “Honey, aim about 6 inches to the right of the hole and hit it firm. It will get over that little hump and break right into the cup.”
 
The father knelt down and sighted the putt using his putter as a plumb.
“Don’t listen to the kid, darling’, you want to hit it softly 10 inches to the right and let it run left down that little hogback, so it falls into the cup.”
 
The old gray-haired grandfather walked over to the blonde’s ball, picked it up and handed it to her and said, “That’s a gimme, sweetheart.”
 
The blonde smiled and said, “Your car or mine?”
 
REMEMBER . . . OLD AGE AND TREACHERY WILL OVERCOME YOUTH AND SKILL EVERY TIME

I decided I wasn’t going to let getting older slow me down.

But my body had other plans.

Yeah, I don’t get it.

One day, long, long ago, a young man decided to pursue a military career. His preference from the three services was the Air Force. When he went to the recruiting office, the officer in charge asked him if he had a profession or trade. 

“I am a Glugmaker,” the young man replied. The officer,who had never heard of a Glugmaker,looked up his book of aviation trades but could not find any Glugmakers listed. “I’m sorry,” he said to the young man, “we don’t appear to have any vacancies for Glugmakers at the moment. Why don’t you try the Army or the Navy?” 

So the young man, disappointed at the news, went around to the Army recruiting office. The recruiting officer asked him if he had a profession or trade, to which the young man replied, “I am a Glugmaker”. 

The officer, who had never heard of a Glugmaker, looked up his book of Army trades but could not find any Glugmakers listed. “I’m sorry,” he said to the young man, “we don’t appear to have any vacancies for Glugmakers at the moment, why don’t you try the Air force or the Navy?” 

“I’ve already tried the Air Force,” said the young man, by this time feeling very exasperated. “I guess I’ll have to try the Navy.” And off he went to the Navy recruiting office. 

When he arrived, the officer in charge asked him if he had a profession or trade. For the third time he responded, “I am a Glugmaker.”

The officer, who had never heard of a Glugmaker, looked up his book of naval trades but could not find any Glugmakers listed. Not wanting to appear a fool in front of a civilian for not knowing what a Glugmaker was, he decided to call his superior for advice. Unfortunately, his superior also did not know what a Glugmaker was and so he told the recruiting officer to advise the young man to try one of the other forces. 

“But I have already tried them both and they do not have any vacancies,” said the young man. “It’s a very specialised trade, you know.” 

On hearing this, the officer decided, just in case, to contact his superior again. On learning of the very specialised nature of Glugmaking, the superior, who was only a Captain, decided to take the matter to an even higher level. In the meantime, he instructed the recruitment officer to send the young man away until they had obtained further advice from higher echelons of the Navy. The young man,after leaving his name, address and telephone number, returned to his home to await further developments. 

Meanwhile, the Navy Captain, who was looking to further his career, organised a team to investigate what a Glugmaker did. His team could not, however, find any record of Glugmaking in any of their files. He telephoned one of his aquaintances in the Air Force to see if he could obtain the information, but, when he asked, the aquaintance, never having heard of a Glugmaker and not wanting to seem stupid, replied, “I’m very sorry, but that is classified information and so I am not allowed to tell you.” 

Feeling by now very desperate, the Captain called another aquaintance in the Air Force. Again, when he asked the question, he received the same reply: “I’m sorry, but that is classified information and I am not allowed to tell you.” 

With that, the Captain decided that he would really have to take the matter to higher authorities. He called his superior, a Vice Admiral, and explained about the Glugmaker wanting to enlist and how he could not find out what a Glugmaker did. 

The Vice Admiral, not wanting to be bothered with what he considered to be a trivial matter, said to the Captain, “Why don’t you send him away to the Army or Air Force recruitment centre and get rid of him?” 

The Captain explained that the Glugmaker had already tried both of the other forces and found that they did not have any vacancies. On hearing this, the Vice Admiral replied, “Well, if they don’t want him, why should we take him?” 

The Captain then told the Vice Admiral of his calls to his associates in the Army and Air Force. “When I called them,” he said, “they both told me that information about Glugmakers was classified and that they could not tell me anything about it. 

“The Glugmaker also told me that his was a very specialised trade,” he added. “The Army and the Air Force obviously must already have one and so don’t need another and that is why they sent him to us.” 

On hearing this, the Vice Admiral responded “Well, if they already have one, and the trade is so specialised, why don’t we have one?” The Captain of course, did not have an answer to this and could only apologise to the Vice Admiral for his lack of knowledge. “Should I contact the Glugmaker and sign him up?” he said. 

The Vice Admiral, being very careful of his position, replied, “Not yet – I will have to run this past the Admiral of the fleet before we make a final decision.” 

The next day, the Vice Admiral called the Admiral of the fleet and told him the whole story. The Admiral, who considered that the Navy was the cream of the armed forces, willingly agreed with the Vice Admiral that the Navy should have it’s own Glugmaker, so much so that he instructed the Vice Admiral to not only recruit the Glugmaker, but to base him exclusively on the pride of the fleet, the Admiral’s own battleship.

The Vice Admiral called the Captain, who, in turn, called the recruiting officer and instucted him to enlist the Glugmaker as soon as possible and have him report to the Admiral’s vessel with all his equipment. The recruiting officer contacted the Glugmaker and advised him of the good news. 

A few days later, after the Glugmaker had been enlisted and issued with his kit, he turned up at the wharf together with a very large truck.

“Glugmaker reporting for duty, sir,” he said to the officer of the watch. 

“Welcome aboard,” said the officer. “We have been expecting you. What do you have in the truck?” 

“That is all my gear and equipment,” replied the Glugmaker. “I will need some help getting it on board.” 

The officer arranged a work party to carry all the equipment aboard and stow it in a lower hold, the only place large enough to hold all the gear. 

The next day, the battleship left port for sea manoeuvres, and, once safely at sea, the Admiral called the Glugmaker to the bridge. 

“Now, Glugmaker, when are you going to start work?” he said. “I will have to start right away,” said the Glugmaker. “It is very time consuming and I must have complete privacy until everything is ready.” 

The Admiral instructed all his officers to make sure that the Glugmaker had everything he needed, a spacious area to work, and told them to ensure that the Glugmaker had complete privacy. 

With that, the Glugmaker departed to the lower hold where his equipment had been stored and began work. For the next few days, except for a few occasions when he sent for the odd tool or two, or maybe some additional materials, nothing was seen of the Glugmaker except at meal times. He kept hard at work and didn’t even issue progress reports. 

After he had been working for a week, the Admiral called him once again to the bridge. “How is your work going down there?” he asked. “Very well indeed, sir,” replied the Glugmaker. 

“Well, when are we going to see some results?” asked the Admiral. “It’s difficult to say at the moment, sir,” replied the Glugmaker, “but it should not be too much longer.” The Glugmaker then returned to work. 

Another week went by and by this time the Admiral was becoming quite upset by the delay and so, once again, he called the Glugmaker to the bridge. 

“Look here, my man, this Glugmaking has been going on for far too long. When is it going to be finished?” he said. 

The Glugmaker replied, “Just a couple more days, sir, and then it will be ready.” 

“Very well,” said the Admiral, “I will give you until Thursday at 1700 hours to complete your task.” 

“Oh, I promise it will be completed by then, sir,” replied the Glugmaker, and then returned to work. 

He worked far into the night for the next two days to ensure thet his work would be finished on time. At 1700 hourson the Wednesday, the Admiral called the Glugmaker to the bridge once again and asked him if his work was finished. 

“Yes, sir,” the Glugmaker replied. “It is at last finished and ready to be put into action.” 

“What do you need then?” asked the Admiral. 

“All I need for the next few hours, sir, is a work crew to help bring the equipment on to the deck and assemble it. We could then have a demonstration first thing in the morning when it will be day light,” replied the Glugmaker. 

The Admiral arranged for the work party and the Glugmaker led them into the hold to start work. 

The first piece that was brought onto deck was an enormous box, which the Glugmaker very carefully had set in place and aligned exactly in the centre of the deck. The next piece was a box of similar design but a little smaller which was placed on top of the first box, again exactly in the centre. All throught the night, the work crew kept bringing up boxes, each one a little smaller than the previous one, and all of which were stacked onto each other, exactly in the centre. 

At about 0500 in the morning, the Glugmaker said, “OK, crew, that’s the final one. Let’s knock off and get some sleep before daylight when we have the demonstration.” 

With a sigh of relief, they all went to their bunks where they fell asleep immediately. 

When daybreak came, the Glugmaker was awoken and told to report to the Admiral. When he reported, the Admiral aked him if he was ready for the demonstration. The Glugmaker replied, “Well, sir, I would appreciate some breakfast first as the crew and I worked all night getting things ready.” 

The Admiral agreed and ordered the Glugmaker to report an hour later, ready to go to work. 

An hour later, feeling much refreshed after a hearty breakfast, the Glugmaker reported once more to the Admiral. “Well, sir,” he said, “Everything seems to be in order and I am ready to go.” “At last,” said the Admiral. “We have waited a long time for this. What do we need to do now?” 

“To take full advantage of this,” said the Glugmaker, “I need every member of the crew, with the exception of people who cannot really leave their posts, assembled on deck to await instructions.”

The Admiral issued the order to have all non-critical personnel assemble on the deck near the structure built by the Glugmaker and, when they were assembled, he and the Glugmaker went to the assembled crew. 

The Glugmaker adressed the crew and explained what was needed to be done when he gave the order. “Immediately when the order is given,” said the Glugmaker, “I will need the entire crew to run right around the deck from stem to stern, until the order is given to halt.” He emphasised the criticality of all personnel starting and stopping at the same time until he was satisfied that the crew fully understood. Finally, he turned to the Admiral and said, “Sir, would you do the honours and give the order?” 

The Admiral gave the order and the crew immediately started running around the deck. Once he was satisfied with the speed of the runners, the Glugmaker went to the stern of the ship and, taking out a hole saw, he cut a hole right in the centre of the stern scuppers. When he was satisfied with the size and smoothness of the hole, he went to the base of the structure he had erected the previous night and began to climb. Up and up he went until he got to the very top. Pausing there, he surveyed the length and breadth of the ship and the crew running around the deck.

Satisfied with their progress, he reached into his pocket and took out a golf ball. With great care, he placed it on top of the highest box in the structure which was just the right size to enable the Glugmaker to balance the golf ball on the top. 

Returning to the deck where the Admiral was waiting, he once more surveyed the situation. Due to the number of crew running around the deck, the ship was developing quite a roll, obviously caused by the weight of the crew as they went from one side of the ship to the other. The roll caused the towering structure to move from side to side and the golf ball at the very top to roll around on the very topmost box.

When the ball had developed a smooth roll, the Glugmaker turned to the Admiral and said, “Sir, on the count of three, please order the crew to halt.” 

“Very well,” said the Admiral. 

At that, the Glugmaker counted: “One… Two.. Three.” 

At the count of three, the Admiral, in his loudest voice, called,

“Halt!” 

The crew, being extremely well disciplined, came to an immediate stop, all on one side of the ship. This caused the ship to list all to the one side and, of course, the towering structure also leaned to the same side.

With the crew coming to such a sudden stop, and because of the list to one side, the golf ball, which had been smoothly rolling around the top of the uppermost box, suddenly popped over the rim of the box and started bouncing down the tower. 

Down and down it came, bouncing from one level to the other until it reached the deck. Once on the deck, because of the angle of the deck, the golf ball ran straight into the scuppers and started rolling towards the stern. 

Everyone’s gaze was fixed on the golf ball as they watched it gather speed. It rolled and rolled until it reached the very stern and, because of the hole that the Glugmaker had made, it shot straight out over the sea. Out and out it went until, because of it’s lack of speed and the law of gravity, it fell down, down, down into the sea and went 

 

GLUG. 

Don’t blame me, blame Joe.

Elvis Costello and Abba are touring together this summer but they haven’t figured out who the headliner will be.  So, watch for Abba and Costello to find out who’s on first.

Illinois  Law 

You must contact the police before entering the city in an automobile. 

Retrospectively, I wish I’d bought my baked beans online. Heinz site’s a wonderful thing.

And that’s it my friends.  I made it.  Now I’m dashing off to the next thing.  Love and happiness to you all.

It’s Saturday morning and I’m exhausted.  What an absolute crap filled night I had!  I’m REALLY getting tired of this.  Leg cramps, stomach upset, body aches…getting old is not for the weak!

I shouldn’t jump right in to Dragon Laffs and start out by complaining.  I really shouldn’t.  I sound like a little old grandma.  So, I need a timeout.

Okay, I’m back.  While I was gone, I started a load of laundry, cleaned up the kitchen, did a chore I had planned for later (straightened and cleaned a book shelf that I had been wanting to take care of).  This is what it looks like now:

The top row is all bibles, most of which I’ve gotten from Goodwill and are different versions.  Out of the frame is a big box of trash papers that are being thrown out.  Izzy and I have been doing our best to go through things, get rid of things and clean up things.  We have now brought 4 (?) I think it’s 4, car loads of stuff to the Goodwill.

Anyway, now that I’ve gotten myself in a better mood, whaddaya say we get some laughter going here?

Another shot of Izzy and Pepper.  Right after they both woke up.

An night with the Valkyries ~ Jose Miguel Picon Chimelis – Astronomy Photographer of the Year 2024 Aurorae

Who’s behind the mask?  That would have been your favorite dragon, in human form, of course, circa 1982, Spangdahlem, Germany.  

Again, you’ve got Impish, this time as a civilian, I’m the one on the  left.  A bit chunkier than the last guy was.  This would have been 2007 and although it looks like we’re on a moon somewhere, we’re actually at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri.

And this is today…, well, 2024 and the suits and gear we are wearing now.  I’m not in that picture, I’m teaching that class.  That’s one of my classes.

And this is what the future of Chem Warfare looks like.  This is the next-gen suit that they are playing with.  It looks so much more comfortable than what I started off with, oh those 40 or so years ago.

With that wonderful trip down memory lane and glimpse into the future, let’s now move on…

I need to make a public apology.

Now, I don’t normally make a big deal out of birthdays here in DL, if I know it’s your birthday, I’ll normally wish you a happy birthday off line or something like that, I might make mention of special ones here on the show, but when you’ve been friends with someone for as long as I’ve been friends with this person and shared as much as we’ve shared and then you go and COMPLETELY FORGET THEIR BIRTHDAY ALL TOGETHER, well, it at least deserves a public apology if not an outright public beating.

Yesterday was Stephanie’s birthday. Yesterday being Friday.  And I completely missed it!

And from there we move to…

And now we can…

Oh, I don’t … yeah, they look weird.

A young polar bear came into his den and asked his mother, “Mom am I a real polar bear?” 

“Of course you are.” His mother replied. 

The young polar bear asked his father. “Dad, am I a real polar bear?” 

“Yes, you are a real polar bear.” 

A week passed and the young polar bear asked his parents, “Are grandma and grandpa real polar bears?” 

“Yes” said his parents. 

Another week passed and the young polar bear asked his parents, “Are all my relatives real polar bears?” 

“Yes, they are all real polar bears.” said his parents. “Why do you ask?” replied his mother. 

“Because,” said the young polar bear, “I’m freezing! 

What a fantastic invention!  Well…

There’s a couple different ones on Amazon, none of which are Prime, none of which have good reviews, and none of which seem to work as advertised.  LOL!  Now, it doesn’t seem like a tough concept to get it to work correctly, so maybe the people who reviewed them are just idiots, but I normally tend to put a lot of faith in the reviews, so … buyer beware.

But it’s still a GREAT concept.

I A.I. generated that one.  I kinda like that one.

Have you been on the highways lately?

The Pope  decided to grant absolution to three sinners. The first person to come up was Richard Nixon. 

The Pope asked, “What is your sin?” 

“I hired people to break into the Watergate Hotel.” 

The Pope replied, “Kneel down. I’ll bless you and grant you absolution.” 

Next in line was Bill Clinton. “What was your sin, son?” 

“I cheated on my wife.” The Philanderer in Chief replied. “Kneel down, my son. I’ll bless you and grant you absolution.” 

A third person came up and the Pope asked, “What is your name?” 

“Monica Lewinsky.” The Pope stroked his chin. “Hmmmm….. Perhaps you should remain standing.” 

Created by Impish as “fantasy art with castle”  That’s pretty cool I think.

Grandpa:  You think it was windy?  Boy I tell ya, when I was a kid, it was once REALLY windy…
Grandkids:  How windy was it, Grandpa?
Grandpa: Why, it was so windy, it once blew the spots, right off my dalmation, George!

Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a bell. 

Well, just go home and if the feeling persists, give me a ring.

If you have an iPhone, tell Siri very slowly

“I see a little silhouetto of a man”.

Trust me.  Just do it.

~ Pop Smith

Then if you do the same thing to Alexa, you will be so disappointed.  In fact, I found this video.  But don’t watch it until after you’ve done it yourself, if you can…

AND WHY IS IT ALWAYS…ALWAYS THE 10!?!?!?

Minnesota Law 

A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head.

What could possibly have been the reason for coming up with THIS law?

I have one of these that my dad, Papa Dragon Most Senior carved for me…

I didn’t want my family to judge me so I walked past them with 2 cookies on my plate and 4 in my pockets.

The A-10 gun system.  I used to load them, fix them, and one actually had the audacity to try to kill me and several of my friends once by jamming and I had to fix the beast.

Yup…and I went out today, three times.  Once to ACE hardware, once to Walgreens, and once to Krogers grocery store.  All in the same trip.  But it counts as going out three times today.

The good bishop knew very well that not only did everyone in his small town look to him for an example, but that all too often, all eyes were on him as potential fodder for the local gossip mill, as well.

This could be wearing; but usually, he was able to provide the good example and escape the tattlers. One night, however, after a long, hard day, a social obligation beckoned on top of his church responsibilities, and he came to a sudden stopping place. 

His hostess, noting that he looked tired, asked with concern, “A spot of tea, Bishop?” 

“No, thank you,” he managed. “No tea.” 

“Ah,” she said. “Coffee, then?” 

“No coffee either, thank you.” 

In the spirit of triage, she leaned closer and murmured, “I could bring you a scotch and soda in an opaque mug?” 

“My dear, this is my last word: NO soda.” 

Supposedly, this is a menu that an Uber driver handed someone upon entering his vehicle…

One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner.  No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.

It’s true.

Years ago, when our daughters were very young, we’d drop them off at our church’s children’s chapel on Sundays before the eleven o’clock service. 

One Sunday, just as I was about to open the door to the small chapel, the minister came rushing up in full vestments. He said he had an emergency and asked if I’d speak to the children at their story time. He said the subject was the Twenty-third Psalm. 

But just as I was about to get up from the back row and talk about the good shepherd, the minister burst into the room and signaled to me that he would be able to do the story time after all. 

He told the children about sheep, that they weren’t smart and needed lots of guidance, and that a shepherd’s job was to stay close to the sheep, protect them from wild animals and keep them from wandering off and doing dumb things that would get them hurt or killed. 

He pointed to the little children in the room and said that they were the sheep and needed lots of guidance. 

Then the minister put his hands out to the side, palms up in a dramatic gesture, and with raised eyebrows said to the children, “If you are the sheep then who is the shepherd?” He was pretty obviously indicating himself. 

A silence of a few seconds followed. Then a young visitor said,” Jesus, Jesus is the shepherd.” 

The young minister, obviously caught by surprise, said to the boy, “Well, then, who am I?” 

The little boy frowned thoughtfully and then said with a shrug” I guess you must be a sheep dog.” 

The perfect title…addressed to all of those out there who are attending so called “Progressive Christian Churches”.  There ain’t no such thing.  The Church, the REAL CHURCH, has already progressed as far as it’s EVER going to progress.  READ THE BIBLE!

Okay, so today, I am going to search through the memes in my folder and pick out the ones that are the most current.  How does that sound?  When I get to about 12 of them, in the order that I find them, I’m going to quit.  That way I’m keeping my own opinion out of it.

Okay, so that one is a “little dated”.  Could have already happened.

That one’s not too dated.

THAT ONE is good ANYTIME!

How many is that?  13?  Wow!  I didn’t even get a good start through the file!  A few more to get rid of some more!  Let me see if I can find some for the other side.

That one was just TOO GOOD to let go by!!!

All of you idiots who are complaining about Project 2025, have any of you even read any of it, or are you just screaming along with the Twitter Idiots who are just proving my point of you all being idiots?

And yes, I have, very large portions of it. Not all of it, because not all of it interested me.

And finally, one that I think should be run every single issue:

Stephen B. sent me this next article with the subject line of:  WHEN WILL THIS STOP?

Transgender cyclists take top 3 spots in Washington women’s relay championship

I’m not getting it.  To me the top one still looks darker.

To the person who stole my camouflage jacket and my flip-flops…

You can hide, but you can’t run!

Middle Age in a Nutshell

Who cares if it looks good? I’m comfortable.
Has anyone seen my phone?
The scale … that cannot be right!
Did I already take my vitamins?
Huh, I wonder how I got this bruise …
Why is the print on these instructions so tiny?
$5 for a box of cereal? They raised the price and shrunk the box … such a racket!
Software update again? I don’t like updates.
Who in the world is calling me at 9:30 pm?
Sorry, I forgot what I was going to say.
Wait! What did I come in here for?
I could’ve sworn that was my password!

And it’s all downhill from there!

My personality is basically a mix between a needy 5 year old child who can’t control their emotions, a teenage rebel who makes poor life decisions, and an 80 year old who’s tired and needs a nap.

This one is called Miracle Match and if it doesn’t bring a tear to your eye, you have no feelings at all!

My gran sent me a joke text the other day and ended it with LMDO.  I sent a text back asking what “LMDO” meant? 

She replied, “Laughing My Dentures Out!!”

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other hs in their mouth.

And that’s it my friends.  Until next we meet…

What a week it has been!  I almost cut my fingers off with my mini-chainsaw, I’ve been running around like a maniac trying to get things done so I would have time to work on this issue.  I had a BUNCH of friends over on Sunday to cut down trees and scrub and they did SO MUCH MORE than I thought they were going to do (the same day I almost cut my fingers off).  Here’s the pile of scrap we have left over that is going to be chipped up the weekend of the 10th of August.

Yeah, the pictures don’t really do it justice.  It is HUGE!  I should’ve taken pictures along the way, but … well … there was blood and stuff.

Anyway, I DIDN’T cut off my fingers, I’m currently typing away with all ten of them, and all is well, so let’s not waste any more time since time is the one thing I don’t have right now and get right to the laughter and stuff!

There have been lots of requests for my email address, so I guess it’s something that I have to put in the issue more often, so very official like here you go.  The website is dragonlaffs.com and the best email to reach me is: impishdragon@dragonlaffs.com.  How’s that?

If you get it, you get it.

Okay, Jerry M. asked me to send pictures of the Tri-plane.  It’s really not much and it comes from a kit, but here you go…

It was fun to build.

There’s a hint to the last Pinto picture.

Yeah, this is one of those really weird ones that our dear Stephanie loves to send in.  It’s a goodie.

‘Robot suicide’ rocks South Korea, authorities investigate a ‘depressed’ cyborg’s sudden ‘death’ | World News – Hindustan Times

Now, AFTER you read the article, Stephanie has some questions for us:

If Robot Sophia was granted full Saudi Arabian citizenship, with all the privileges thereof, who decided to “deactivate” her? 

Why was she deactivated?

As a citizen, no one owned her, part of citizenship, right?

Did she decide to deactivate?

Would her deactivation not be classified as murder?

Why has no one been charged?

This next one is the newest purchase for my wall…

You might remember what the wall used to look like, this is what it looks like now…

Please don’t ride with me if you’re going to scream and grab the dash every time we run off the road. It makes me nervous.

Another weird one from Steph… this one is called the Tasselled Wobbegong.  Yeah, I got nuthin’!

Okay guys!  Meme this picture!!!!  Let’s hear it!

This one is from Vincent L.  I’m going to give you the email the same way that I got it.  Click on the title to follow the link.  I signed the petition and I urge you to as well.

Navy Veterans Face Radiation Peril — Demand Justice Now 1,682 signatures toward our 30,000 Goal

Not sure if you came across this article, once again our vets lack support from our elected officials. I don’t anyone who has been exposed but  I live in an area with a high percentage of vets.

Knowing that the minister was very fond of cherry brandy, one of the church elders offered to present him with a bottle on one consideration – that the pastor acknowledge receipt of the gift in the church paper.

“Gladly,” responded the good man.

When the church magazine came out a few days later, the elder turned at once to the “appreciation” column. There he read: “The minister extends his thanks to Elder Brown for his gift of fruit and for the spirit in which it was given.”

Yeah, if you are outdoors. 
If you’re indoors, it’s a more complicated process.  
Do I need it anymore?
If the answer is yes, is there a younger person whom I can get to pick it up for me?
If I don’t need it, if I leave it there, will the dogs chew it up and either:
a) Make a mess?
b) Hurt themselves?
If the answer to either a or b above is yes, is there a younger person whom I can get to pick it up for me?
Then you can even get into a whole scale of:
How much of a mess and how long until a younger person is likely to appear?

This next picture is what I came home to the other night from Jail Ministry:

That’s Izzy and Pepper.  And if you look to the left and just above Izzy’s head, you can just barely see Willow’s ear sticking out of her kennel.  All three of them were perfectly sound asleep.

A newlywed sailor was transferred to a remote island in the South Pacific for 2 years. He soon began to miss his new wife, so he wrote her a letter.

“My darling,” he wrote, “it looks like we’re going to be apart for a very long time. Already I’m starting to miss you and there’s really not much to do here in the evenings. Besides that, we’re constantly surrounded by attractive young native girls. Do you think if I had a hobby of some kind I would not be so tempted?”

So his wife sent him back a harmonica saying, “Why don’t you learn to play this?”

Eventually his tour of duty came to an end and he rushed back to his  wife. “Darling,” he said, “I can’t wait to get you into bed so that we can make passionate love!”

“First, let me see you play that harmonica!”

The other old joke I remember was, “Whenever you argue with a woman, you’re either right or you’re wrong.  And when you’re right, apologize immediately.”

A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, “I’m Mr. Sugarbrown’s daughter.”

Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say,  “I’m Jane Sugarbrown.”

The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School and said, “Aren’t you Mr. Sugarbrown’s daughter?”

She replied, “I thought was, but mother says I’m not.”

A plumber was called to a woman’s apartment in New York to repair a leaking pipe.

When he arrived he was pleased to discover that the woman was quite a luscious, well-stacked babe, and during the course of the afternoon the two became extremely friendly.

About 4:30 p.m. the phone rang, disturbing their bedroom shenanigans.

“That was my husband,” she said, “He’s on his way home, but he’s going back to the office around 8.

Come back then, dear, and we can take up where we left off.”

The union plumber looked at the woman in disbelief. “What? On my own time??” 

Didn’t that place use to be a Dollar General?

Because of a lack of time, just taking them in the order they are in the folder, no theme intended.

So, I read today that while Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu addressed Congress on Wednesday, “Iran’s Useful Idiots” were at work outside the Capitol protesting, burning flags, causing trouble, while in New York they were pulling down the American flag and putting up the Palestinian flag, and there were traitorous idiots INSIDE the Capitol sitting on their hands, boycotting his speech all together and there was even one unamerican witch (I may have misspelled that) Rashida Talib (D-Michigan) holding up a sign that said “war criminal”.  Not to mention, the Vice-president, who wants to be president, couldn’t even bother to be there, she was speaking at a sorority event in Indianapolis.  People, if that doesn’t tell you EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW about who to vote for in November, than you are either delusional, clueless, or completely out of touch with the real world. 

It was brought up that the burning or desecration of the American Flag should be punishable with 1 year in prison. If you can be punished with a hate crime for doing that to the stupid rainbow flag or just about anyone else’s flag as a hate crime, (it’s actually much WORSE than a year in prison) than it ought to be the same thing for the American Flag.

And if anything that I’ve said angers anyone out there, say your peace (piece?) and prove me wrong!

Leonardo da Vinci is among the most talented and insightful individuals to ever share our planet. His indelible legacy as a masterful painter persists to this day, as works such as the “Mona Lisa” and “The Last Supper” can attest.

In addition to being a prolific Renaissance artist, Leonardo was also a brilliant theorist. His views on the human condition were ahead of their time and remain as relevant today as they were more than 500 years ago.

Leonardo kept an extensive series of notebooks and journals to chronicle his thoughts on topics such as painting, anatomy, botany, and paleontology, to name just a few. These original sources provide us with an invaluable direct look into the mind of this great polymath, whose brilliant philosophical observations have inspired countless others over the centuries.

In honor of this incredible artist and thinker, here are 12 quotes that illustrate Leonardo da Vinci’s thoughts on life and that can be used as guiding principles on our own personal journeys.

Poor is the pupil that does not surpass his master.

Leonardo preached the importance of continually seeking out knowledge. According to his philosophy, an effective education involves taking the basics one learns as a student and using them to expand the mind even further.

Experience never errs; it is only your judgments that err by promising themselves effects such as are not caused by your experiments.

Ever the practical theorist, Leonardo believed trial and error to be the foundation of truth. In turn, he thought all fallacies arise from untested personal beliefs.

It is easier to contend with evil at the first than at the last.

It’s best to tackle the roots of evil when they first present themselves Leonardo posited. Waiting too long allows those bad influences to grow stronger and potentially become unmanageable.

Whoever in discussion adduces authority uses not intellect but rather memory.

Leonardo believed all men are equal and that those who claim to have power tend to rely on perception rather than fact to maintain their control.

The knowledge of past times and of the places on the earth is both an ornament and nutriment to the human mind.

It’s important to remember the past, according to Leonardo, as those who choose to ignore history are doomed to repeat prior mistakes.

We ought not to desire the impossible.

When setting personal goals, Leonardo believed in the importance of remaining grounded and seeking out realistically achievable end results.

The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions.

According to Leonardo, our own beliefs are often responsible for guiding us down the wrong path. The great thinker thought important decisions should be based on scientific methods rather than on gut feelings.

As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death.

Leonardo believed that in order to leave this Earth feeling content, we must consciously live fulfilling lives while we’re here.

Necessity is the mistress and guide of nature.

Leonardo claimed that evolution arises out of necessity. It’s need, rather than want, that makes the world grow stronger and develop more fully.

To lie is so vile, that even if it were in speaking well of godly things it would take off something from God’s grace; and Truth is so excellent, that if it praises but small things they become noble.

To Leonardo (and surely to many of us), lying is a wholly reprehensible action, considering the destruction and chaos it’s sure to bring about . Telling the truth, on the other hand, can highlight the value and virtue of even the littlest things.

Avoid studies of which the result dies with the worker.

It’s imperative to leave behind a worthy legacy, per Leonardo. We should do what we can to ensure our work doesn’t die with us and that our pursuits continue to inspire others after we’re gone.

Just as iron rusts unless it is used, and water putrefies or, in cold, turns to ice, so our intellect spoils unless it is kept in use.

Leonardo was a huge proponent of staying eternally curious and constantly exercising one’s mind so it doesn’t become stale with disuse. As it happens, we’re big proponents of that as well.

I hate women because they always know where things are.

James Thurber (1894 – 1961)

Doctor, doctor, people tell me I’m a wheelbarrow.

Don’t let people push you around.

An american football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, “I’m not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play.”

The player agreed, so coach looked into his eyes intently and asked, “Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this. What is two plus two?”

The player thought for a moment and then answered, “4?”

“Did you say 4?” the coach exclaimed, excited that he had got it right.

Suddenly all the other players on the team began screaming…, “Come on coach, give him another chance!”

The preacher was preaching with all his might. The subject was SIN, and he was most certainly ‘against’  sin.

A girl, with a wonderful figure, and not nearly enough clothes to hide much skin, came in late. She strode down the center aisle, close to the front, and sat down.

It was plain to the preacher that he had lost the men in his audience to this voluptuous sex-object.

He shook a fist at her and said, “You are the Jezebel the good book tells us about. You have got the mind of every man in this building on evil thoughts and not good thoughts. But I am a man of God! You don’t affect me, and right now up in Heaven, you fallen woman…..Saint Finger is shaking his Peter at you!!”

PETE: How’s your new pet fish doing? You told me he was really something special.

RONNY: To tell you the truth, I’m really disappointed in him. The guy who sold him to me said I could teach him to sing like a bird.

PETE: You bought a fish because you thought you could teach him to sing like a bird? I can’t believe it!

RONNY: Well, yeah. After all, he’s a parrot-fish.

PETE: I hate to tell you this, but while you might be able to teach a parrot-bird to sing, you’re never going to get anywhere with a parrot-fish.

RONNY: That’s what you think! He can sing all right. The thing is, he keeps singing off-key. It’s driving me crazy. . . . Do you know how hard it is to tuna fish?

Didn’t you just know that was coming? Couldn’t you just see it?  Anticipate it?  Oh well, with that, we’ll do just this last one…

And call it the end of another show.  Not that I still don’t have an awful lot I want to say, but there just isn’t any time to do things any more it seems.   I missed my Thursday deadline, as you all well know and now, if I don’t hurry, I’ll miss the Friday one as well.

So, my dear friends, until Monday (we can only hope), may our God truly bless you and keep you and smile upon your face.  My love to you all.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon