AT&T while servicing someone else on Sunday couldn’t figure out why my cable was hooked up where it was at the road and again at the distribution node at the apartment building on Sunday so they just cut them. As  a result I did not have internet, phone or TV until after  12 on Monday. This has put me way behind just starting what was already to be a busy week for me prior to a Holiday weekend and of course a holiday issue.

As a result again this week there is no Parting Shot, but I suspect that most of you won’t be too disappointed by and large with that.

 

Impish received an e-mail from Lethal:
“Sorry Impish, but I have been using your wife… day and night whenever
you’re not at home. In fact, probably more than you.
I’m confessing now because I feel really guilty. I hope you will
accept my sincerest apologies. I will ask your permission in the
future.
Upon reading this, Impish gets his gun and without uttering a word he
shoots his wife.
A few minutes later he received another e-mail: “Sorry Impish: Damned Autocorrect! I meant ‘wifi,’ not ‘wife.'”

We have 2 food related recalls today.

Kraft recalls cottage cheese citing illness risk

Food company says some ingredients weren’t stored properly

WASHINGTON (CNNMoney) – Kraft is recalling 1.2 million cases of cottage cheese that could spoil prematurely and cause illness.

The recall, announced Saturday, includes the Knudsen, Breakstone, Simply Kraft and Daily Chef brands.

Ingredients used in nearly three-dozen cottage cheese products weren’t properly stored in a California facility, Kraft Foods Group said.

The cottage cheese has code dates from Mary 9, 2014 through July 23, 2014. You can find the code date on the bottom of the cup or the top of the package. Simply Kraft products with a plant code of 36-2158 on the cups or a “W” in the case code are not affected. Simply Kraft products that are being recalled are only those with a plant code of 06-245 on the bottom of the cup and case code dates without any “W”. No other Knudsen, Breakstone’s, Simply Kraft or Daily Chef products are subjected to this recall.

The facility that made these products has stopped production and distribution while the company addresses the problem. If you purchased any of these products, do not eat them. Discard them or return to the place of purchase for a refund.

See the press release with full details here

 

1.8 million pounds of beef recalled for E. coli risk

People in 4 states sickened

The United States Food Safety and Inspection Service announced Monday that 1.8 million pounds of ground beef products are being recalled on fears that they may be contaminated with E. coli O157:H7.

Recalled cases of beef from Wolverine Packing Company in Detroit, Michigan, were produced between March 31, 2014 and April 18, 2014 and shipped to distributors for restaurant use in Massachusetts, Michigan, Missouri and Ohio. A complete list of products can be found on the FSIS website.

Based on investigations, 11 people across four states are suspected to have been sickened by the product. FSIS says that it is continuing to work with state and federal public health partners on this investigation and provide updated information as it becomes available.

Consumers with questions about the recall should contact Wolverine Packing Company at 262-563-5118 for details. Additional information can be found at nationalbeef.com.

Consumers with food safety questions are encouraged to contact “Ask Karen,” the FSIS virtual representative available 24 hours a day at AskKaren.gov. The toll-free USDA Meat and Poultry Hotline 1-888-MPHotline (1-888-674-6854) is available in English and Spanish and can be reached from l0 a.m. to 4 p.m. ET Monday through

 

The Top 5 Famous Quotes from Redneck Movies

5> “I ate his ribs… with some pinto beans and a shot o’
     Jack Daniel’s.”
4> “Hokey opera and ancient museums are no match for a good
     tractor pull, kid.”
3> “I know what you’re thinking… did he fire six shots or
     only five?  Well, hell if I know!  You KNOW I cain’t count
     no higher’n three since the chainsaw accident!”
2> “My daddy always said, ‘Life is like a ten-dollar hooker —
     you never know what you’re gonna’ get.'”

and the Number 1 Famous Quote from a Redneck Movie…

1> “You want a tooth?!  You can’t HANDLE a tooth!!”

Family cat defends a child during a vicious dog attack and runs the dog off before he can do additional damage. Thankfully, child is fine!

 

Bakersfield, CA – A family in Bakersfield, CA is breathing a sigh of relief after their pet cat chased off a dog who was attacking their young son.

Their home security camera caught the moments as they unfolded. Footage shows the dog slowly walk to the boy. Then, attack and pull him off of his bike.

The family’s cat leaps into action by tackling and chasing the dog away. That’s when the boy’s mother runs to help.

Roger Triantafilo, the boys father, uploaded the security video on YouTube and says, “Thankfully it wasn’t worse” He, then, added photos of the injury and stitches the boy received.

That’s one cat that is getting all the nip and tuna it can handle now!

Teacher and Student Funny Conversation..

Teacher: Change this sentence into Future Tense, “I killed a person”
Student: The Future tense is “You will go to a jail”

Teacher: Did u make this poem yourself??
Student: Yes Sir !
Teacher: Nice to meet you, William Shakespeare

Teacher: Which one is more important for us, Son or Moon?
Student: Of course Moon
Teacher: Why??
Students: The moon gives us light in night when we need it BUT the sun gives us light in day when we don’t need it..

Teacher: What will you do after growing up?
Student: Facebooking
Teacher: No! I mean what will you Become?
Student: Admin of Facebook pages
Teacher: O My God! I Mean what will you Achieve when you grow up?
Student: Facebook Admin Rights
Teacher: Idiot! I Mean what will you do for you Parents ?
Student: I create a page for them on Facebook.”I Luv Mom and Dad”.
Teacher: Stupid! What do your parents want from U? :@
Student: My Facebook password.
Teacher: Oh God!

Thanks to: ^{http://www.komando.com/happening-now/252877/dont-trust-this-email-from-google/all}

There’s a dangerous new threat that’s trying to steal your Google password. If you fall for it, hackers will have full access to your Gmail account, YouTube account, Google+ account, Google Search History and any other Google services you use.

From there, they can break try to break into other similar accounts, like Facebook, or pretend to be you to trick your friends and family into giving away important information. So, you definitely don’t want to fall for this one.

The Threat

The threat arrives in the form of an email, supposedly from Google. The subject line varies, but it’s some form of “Mail Notice” or “Lookout Notice.”

The body of the email says this:

GOOGLE MAIL NOTICE

This is a reminder that your email account will be locked out in 24hours

Due to not being able to increase your Email storage Quota

Go to the INSTANT INCREASE to increase your Email storage automatically. INSTANT INCREASE

=================================

Sincerely Gmail Team,

Copyright ©2014 Gmail. All rights reserved.

In the real email, the words “Instant increase” are linked. If you click the link, you’ll end up on a page that looks like the Google login page.

However, if you put in your username and password, they’ll be sent right to the hackers behind the email. Then they have full access to your Google account.

One thing that makes this message especially dangerous is the link itself. It’s designed to bypass Chrome and Firefox’s normal checks for phishing links, so you won’t get a warning.

How you know the email is fake

Spelling isn’t really an issue this time around, but the grammar isn’t up to the standards of the one of the most profitable companies in history.

There’s no Google logo and the From address says “Gmail,” but isn’t a Google domain name (i.e. there’s no “google.com” in it).

Finally, as always, Google will never ask you to click in a link in an email. It will tell you to go to Google.com to sign in and where to go to fix your account settings. This is true of any major company.

What to do if you get this email:

Obviously, don’t click on the link. Instead, just delete the email and continue on with your day. Opening the email won’t hurt anything, so don’t panic.

If you got this email and fell for it, then you need to immediately change your Google account password. You should also change the passwords of any other accounts that used the same password.

In the future, any unsolicited email you receive that has a suspicious link or attachment, you can just delete. If you aren’t sure whether or not it’s real, go to the company’s website to get its contact information.

Then call the company, or individual, to confirm if the email is legitimate. Don’t use contact information in the email itself.

1. Stare at the red dot on the girl’s nose for 30 seconds
2. Turn your eyes towards the wall/roof or somewhere else on a plain surface
3. Keep blinking your eyes quickly!
4. What can you see?

“Weird Al” Yankovic – Stop Forwarding That Crap To Me

Sign at my local Lowes

THE MOPED

An elderly man on a Moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to a doctor at a street light.

The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, “What kind of car ya got there, sonny?”

The doctor replies, “A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars!”

“That’s a lot of money,” says the old man. “Why does it cost so much?”

“Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour” states the doctor proudly.

The Moped driver asks, “Mind if I take a look inside?”

“No problem,” replies the doctor.

So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around.  Then, sitting back on his Moped, the old man says, “That’s a pretty nice car, all right . . . but I’ll stick with my Moped!”

Just then the light changes, so the doctor decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 160 mph.

Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer!

He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly WHOOOOSSSHHH!

Something whips by him going much faster!

“What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?” the doctor asks himself.

He presses harder on the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 250 mph.

Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it’s the old man on the Moped!

Amazed that the Moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the Moped at 275 mph. He was feeling pretty good until he looked in his mirror and saw the old man gaining on him AGAIN!

Astounded by the speed of this old guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 320 mph.

Not ten seconds later, he sees the Moped bearing down on him again! The Ferrari is flat out, and there’s nothing he can do!

Suddenly, the Moped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear end.

The doctor stops and jumps out and unbelievably the old man is still alive.

He runs up to the banged-up old guy and says, “I’m a doctor; is there anything I can do for you?”

The old man whispers, “Unhook my suspenders from your side view mirror.”

Butch, the Rooster

Fred was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young ‘pullets,’ and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.

He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.  This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance which rooster was performing. Now, he could sit on the porch and  fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

Fred’s favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch’s bell hadn’t rung at all! When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. To Fred’s amazement, old        Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring. He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

Fred was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Brisbane City Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the “No Bell Piece Prize,” but they also awarded him the “Pulletsurprise” as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren’t paying attention.

Vote carefully in the next election, you can’t always hear the bells.

Thanks to B-B-B-Bacon on the Hoof AHEM! I mean Porkie Pig for helping put with the closing. If you’ll all kindly excuse me deadlines for the Memorial Day issue , getting started on next Wednesday’s issue loom, along with 6 items on my Honey-do list and 4 customers project completion by dates.

You all enjoy your day. Impish will see you Saturday and of course we’ll be posting or Memorial Day issue on Sunday. I’ll be back with coffee and cookies again next Wednesday, assuming that is, AT&T doesn’t decide to play all high-handed-piss-on- the-customer-what-he-going-to-do with me again and cut me off for another 24 hours w/o notice because their installers are poorly trained and lazier than all get out.

Good Morning Campers!
Well, another Saturday is upon us.  And believe it or not, we went from a week of 80 degree temperatures to having an overnight frost warning last night.  What the heck?

Way off in the distance, I can hear a liberal’s echo…”global warming! global warming!”

Anyway, another work day for me today.  At least I have two decent sized classes.  I do enjoy teaching, and the overtime, but it still sucks working on a Saturday.  Oh well.

My Dad, or as Lethal Leprechaun likes to call him, Papa Dragon the Magnificent, just completed a statue of me from my time in the military.  It’s a good likeness if I do say so myself.

I like it!  It turned out really nice.  You can see that younger, roguish look in my eye and the bad-boy flick to my tail.  Ah, those were the days.  Oh the battles we fought and the women we….

Ahem!

Sorry, not trying to give up our R rating for one even stronger.  Let’s move on, shall we?

So, there’s enough in today’s issue to make you laugh, piss you off and make you go hmm!  Maybe not the same things for everyone, but everyone ought to find something.

So, on with the mirth, the guffaws, the high pitched screaming and…

This is GREAT!  This is Mission Im-purr-sible!  Okay, so not great, but you’ll get it in a minute.

The cat is obviously trained since he returns the toy and drops it.  How many of you have cats that do what YOU want?

That would actually be the email they would ignore, time after time.

Stuart Edge has done some really great things in the past, but this is one Mother’s Day Prank that is the sweetest thing you’ve seen all day!

 

Amen!  I don’t know how they do it in other states, but you do not have to register firearms in Indiana.  You apply for and pay for a conceal carry permit, but no one asks you if you own any weapons.  Sales from official gun stores and such are documented, but personal sales are not…guess which type is favored by blue dragons in Indiana?

 

 

 

In  Texas there is a town called New  Braunfels, where there is a large German-speaking population. 

One day, a local rancher driving down a country road noticed a man using his  hand to drink water from the rancher’s stock pond.

The  rancher rolled down the window and shouted: “Sehr angenehm!  Trink das Wasser  nicht. Die kuehe haben darein geschissen.” (This means: “Glad  to meet you! Don’t drink the water. The cows have shit in  it.”)

The  man shouted back: “I’m from New York and just down  here campaigning for Obama’s health care plan. I can’t understand you. Please  speak in English.”

The  rancher replied: “Use two hands.”

 

 

How long does does it take for a real TV marathon?

 

 

Congress formed a select committee to probe the Benghazi attack Thursday. The White House stopped saying it was caused by an anti-Muslim video, now they think the fire at the U.S. consulate was ignited by global warming. They can’t blame Bush so they’re going after Gore.

 

Michael Jordan: the Life is a new biography in which the NBA legend says he saw so much racism in North Carolina he grew up hating white people. He says sports healed him. Jordan was finally able to feel compassion for white people when he saw them trying to play basketball.

 

The Vatican repeated its opposition to Obamacare’s forcing churches to pay for morning-after birth control pills for women workers. The science is so advanced on birth control that Pfizer is developing a morning-after pill for men. It changes your DNA and your phone number.

 

 

A new report shows that President Obama has visited 45 states during his time in office. When he heard that, Biden said, “Wow, he’s been to ALL of ’em?”

 

 

For the second time in three days, the White House has gone into lockdown after someone threw an object over the fence. Finally today, President Obama took away Joe Biden’s Frisbee.

 

Missing Wife

Husband: I lost my wife. She went shopping & still hasn’t arrived home yet.

 Police Inspector: What is her height?

Husband: I’m not sure, average I think.

Inspector: Slim or healthy?

Husband: Not slim, can be healthy.

Inspector: Color of eyes?

Husband: Not sure. Brown maybe?

Inspector: Color of hair ?

Husband: Changes according to the season.

Inspector: What was she wearing?

Husband: Pants and shirt, maybe a dress or something ….. I don’t remember exactly.

Inspector: Did she go in a car???

Husband: Yes!!!

Inspector: Can you tell me the number, name & color of the car?

Husband: License # NLH-638 Black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0 litre V6 engine generating 333 horse power teamed with an eight-speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode….and it has full LED headlights, which use light emitting diodes for all light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door.

At this point the husband started crying…

Inspector: Don’t worry sir, we will find your car……….

 

 

 

 

Famous Political Quotes:

These are very good and should be shared with everyone.  Funny how it seems that people from years ago could almost foresee the future.  Or is it perhaps instead, that the same problems we have now have just been repeated over and over again through history.  There will always be evil in the world and it’s up to us to do what we can to fight it.

1. In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.

    — John Adams

2. If you don’t read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.

    — Mark Twain

3. Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself.

    — Mark Twain

4. I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.

    —Winston Churchill

5. A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.

    — George Bernard Shaw

6. A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.

    — G. Gordon Liddy

7. Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.

    —James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)

8. Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.

    — Douglas Case, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University.

9. Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

    — P.J. O’Rourke, Civil Libertarian

10. Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.

    — Frederic Bastiat, French economist(1801-1850)

11. Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it.  If it keeps moving, regulate it.  And if it stops moving, subsidize it.

    —Ronald Reagan (1986)

12. I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

    — Will Rogers

13. If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it’s free!

    — P. J. O’Rourke

14. In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other.

    —Voltaire (1764)

15. Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn’t mean politics won’t take an interest in you!

    — Pericles (430 B.C.)

16. No man’s life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.

    — Mark Twain (1866)

17. Talk is cheap, except when Congress does it.

    — Anonymous

18. The government is like a baby’s alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.

    — Ronald Reagan

19. The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.

    — Winston Churchill

20. The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.  (My personal favorite!)

      — Mark Twain

21. The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.

      — Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)

22. There is no distinctly Native American criminal class, save Congress.

    — Mark Twain

23. What this country needs are more unemployed politicians

    —Edward Langley, Artist (1928-1995)

24. A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. 

    — Thomas Jefferson

25. We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.

    — Aesop

FIVE BEST SENTENCES

1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.

2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.

3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.

5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work, because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation!

 

 

 

You guys know how I am.  Sometimes I send out a lot of political stuff, sometimes a lot of humor and sometimes some of the touchy-feely (wussy ~ LL) (Get out of my post, Lethal!) kind of stuff.  This one is one of the latter type.  But, I had to include it because it has such a happy ending! Oh, and it’s all done in pictures!

Like I said…happy ending!

 

Must’ve been one hell of a sandwich!

 

And under the category of “You Can’t Make This Shit Up” we get this doozy out of Chicago.  And the real surprise is that she had such a good, wholesome father figure at home.  Geez!  I just don’t understand kids these days!

Jeremiah Wright’s Daughter Convicted on 11 Counts of Fraud

Somehow we all missed this one — funny how that happens!!

Chickens Come Home to Roost Rev. Jeremiah Wright’s Daughter Convicted on 11 Counts of Fraud

Posted by Jim Hoft on Saturday, March 8, 2014, 7:54 PM

Jeri Wright and Rev. Jeremiah Wright

In September Jeri Wright, daughter of Reverend, God Damn  America,  Wright and 12 other Democrats were charged with embezzling $16 million in Federal health grants that should have gone to AIDS charities and other programs for the poor and needy.

More than one of the defendants had direct ties to President Barack Obama.

On Friday Reverend Jeremiah Wright’s daughter was found guilty of eleven counts that included money laundering and lying to federal agents.

Breitbart reported: On Friday, a federal jury took less than two hours to convict the daughter of President Barack Obama’s controversial former pastor, Jeremiah Wright, of fraud. Jeri Wright was found guilty of a fraud scheme that siphoned thousands of taxpayer dollars intended for a not-for-profit work and education program known as We Are Our Brothers Keeper.

Prosecutor Timothy Bass said Jeri Wright lied over and over and went on a spending spree that included traveling to Las Vegas , buying vehicles, and remodeling her basement with cash from the money laundering scheme.

She was found guilty on all counts.

If you take and misuse government money, and then lie about it, you will be held accountable in a court of law, said  U.S. Attorney for the Central District of  Illinois , Jim Lewis.

http://www.nbcnews.com/news/crime-courts/daughter-jeremiah-wright-convicted-fraud-scheme-n47841

To be sentenced on 7 July 2014.

Think we ought to start a pool to see how much she gets out of?

 

 

I was looking for Lethal Leprechaun recently and couldn’t find him.  I found out he was in the hospital!  He was beaten up and put there by this woman!

Lethal was in an elevator when she got in. He was staring at her boobs when she said, “Would you please press 1”

So he did…and he doesn’t remember much afterwards.

He should be out of the hospital in a few days, at least by the time this publishes.

Poor guy!  I would’ve done the same thing.

 

 

 

The true story of Mario Worlds…

Okay, that is SO wrong on SO many levels!!!!! 

 

That’s wrong, too!  Look, I’m a professional Emergency Manager and I say that in case of a fire, taking fucking large steps is a damn GOOD idea!  Fucking Amateurs! 

 

Today’s Last Word comes from an article sent to me by my dad (Thanks Dad!) That seems to spark controversy no matter where I searched for it on line.  Snopes says it’s undetermined and truthorfiction.com doesn’t really address the whole letter.  I’ll try to intersperse their interpretations where applicable.   Let’s start, shall we?

“What Difference Does It Make?”

THIS IS A TRUE  STORY… and a dirty one!

Written by a cousin of Ambassador Stevens,  a US Navy Chaplain, Senior Pastor (Ret.)

You need to read this true account of what happened to our Ambassador Stevens and the other 3 who died. If this doesn’t make you mad…

Cynthia Lee Myers (the cousin of one of the security men at the embassy) wanted to share the truth of what happened over in Libya, you will not find this in the media yet, but it aired on FNC… please read…

“Here is my story. A week out the Embassy in Tripoli began receiving multiple tips about an Al Qaeda cell in the area planning an attack on 9/11 in response to the killing of Bin Laden. For the next several days, the state dept. and WH were asked for a security force and were denied at least six times. Ambassador Stevens and his team were given the all clear that the Consulate in Benghazi was safe and there was no need for a security force other than his three personal guards (one being my cousin) and a few Libyans who were not armed. (There is other evidence to suggest that these Libyans were actually members of Al Qaeda)

Then the attack and murders occurred. Immediately the WH claimed it was a protest gone bad over a you tube video. Obama made a quick speech in the Rose Garden on Sept. 12 before catching a plane to Vegas to campaign. He made a generic statement at the end of his speech after placing the blame on an overheated protest over the video. He said “No act of terror will shake the resolve of America. Later that day and over the next 2 days, the liberal media began saying Ambassador Stevens and the other three men died of smoke inhalation. This was not the case.

Out of respect for my cousin, I’m not going to be specific about his murder. However Ambassador Stevens was brutally murdered. His genitals were cut off, he was sodomized and beaten and cut and stabbed and burned. He was drug thru the streets and left for dead. (Snopes has a video which shows men pulling someone from a burnt building and praising Allah for his rescue and that he was still alive, but after watching the video, I don’t see how anyone can tell who it might possibly be that’s being pulled from the building.)

This is eyewitness testimony of a local Dr. who found the Ambassador in a ditch and tried to save his life. He had no idea who he was. The other three men, including my cousin, met similar fates. And deaths due to smoke inhalation is a 100% fabricated LIE.

The next week I drove my aunt and uncle and 2 others to DC to receive his body. We met with Hillary, Panetta, and Susan Rice. ALL of whom apologized and said it was a protest gone bad over a video and exited the area. Next, Obama entered with the same story and didn’t apologize and wasn’t sympathetic. My aunt cried to this man and all he did was hand her flowers and walk away. I tried to get his attention, but didn’t. I got upset and yelled liar to him, he kept walking. Then a secret service agent grabbed my arm and led me to a room where I was held till the proceedings were over. (It would be months before the official story of a protest gone bad to an act of terror would change.  Come on people!  They KNEW it was a lie when they said it!  There have been witnesses that have said that the White House, specifically Obama and Hillary WATCHED it take place via drone camera!  Why then are members of the CIA being polygraphed over and over to make sure that none of them talk??)

America, I saw firsthand how cold this man is. What kind of liar he is. Most of you haven’t a clue about this tyrant and yet you support him. And act like every word he says is Gospel. These murders and the fast and furious cover ups make Watergate look like a kid who told his bff’s secret to the class.

THIS PART YOU DON’T KNOW, BUT SHOULD.

AMERICAN VALOR, BENGHAZI, LIBYA:
The stunning part of this story is that Tyrone Woods and Glen Doherty killed 60 of the attacking force. Once the compound was overrun, the attackers were incensed to discover that just two men had inflicted so much death and destruction. (Snopes refutes this and says that there is no evidence that they killed 60 attackers)

The news has been full of the attacks on our embassies throughout the Muslim world, and in particular, the deaths of Ambassador Chris Stevens and three others in Benghazi, Libya. However, there’s a little known story of incredible bravery, heroics, and courage that should be the top story.

So what actually happened at the U.S. embassy in Libya? We are learning more about this every day. Ambassador Stevens and Foreign Service officer Sean Smith, along with administrative staff, were working out of temporary quarters due to the fact that in the spring of 2011 during the so-called Arab Spring, the United States cut ties with then president Moammar Gadhafi.

Our embassy was looted and ransacked, causing it to be unusable. It is still in a state of disrepair.  Security for embassies and their personnel is to be provided by the host nation. Since Libya has gone through a civil war of sorts in the past 18 months, the current government is very unstable, and therefore, unreliable.

A well-organized attack by radical Muslims was planned specifically targeting the temporary U.S. embassy building. The Libyan security force that was in place to protect our people deserted their post, or joined the attacking force. Either way, our people were in a real fix. And it should be noted that Ambassador Stevens had mentioned on more than one occasion to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, that he was quite concerned for his personal safety and the welfare of his people.It is thought that Ambassador Stevens was on a “hit list.” (and his concerns were ignored, over and over again.  Could he have been on that hit list because of other things the US government was doing in the area?  Like the CIA getting guns to the rebels, which would of course have pissed off the radicals!)

A short distance from the American compound, two Americans were sleeping. They were in Libya as independent contractors working an assignment totally unrelated to our embassy. They also happened to be former Navy Seals.

When they heard the noise coming from the attack on our embassy, as you would expect from highly trained warriors, they ran to the fight. Apparently, they had no weapons, but seeing the Libyan guards dropping their guns in their haste in fleeing the scene, Tyrone Woods and Glen Doherty snatched up several of these discarded weapons and prepared to defend the American compound.

Not knowing exactly what was taking place, the two Seals set up a defensive perimeter. Unfortunately Ambassador Stevens was already gravely injured, and Foreign Service officer, Sean Smith, was dead. However, due to their quick action and suppressive fire, twenty administrative personnel in the embassy were able to escape to safety. (But all have been silenced and kept away from congress and all investigations on Benghazi!!!) Eventually, these two courageous men were overwhelmed by the sheer numbers brought against them, an enemy force numbering between 100 to 200 attackers which came in two waves. But the stunning part of the story is that Tyrone Woods and Glen Doherty killed 60 of the attacking force. Once the compound was overrun, the attackers were incensed to discover that just two men had inflicted so much death and destruction.

As it became apparent to these selfless heroes, they were definitely going to lose their lives unless some reinforcements showed up in a hurry. As we know now, that was not to be. I’m fairly certain they knew they were going to die in this gun fight, but not before they took a whole lot of bad guys with them! (It has been said that the place of honor you receive in Heaven is higher with the total “Honor Guard” you send to hell)

Consider these tenets of the Navy SEAL Code:
1) Loyalty to Country, Team and Teammate,
2) Serve with Honor and Integrity On and Off the Battlefield,
3) Ready to Lead, Ready to Follow, Never Quit,
4) Take responsibility for your actions and the actions of your teammates,
5) Excel as Warriors through Discipline and Innovation,
6) Train for War, Fight to Win, Defeat our Nation’s Enemies, and…
7) Earn your Trident every day.

Thank you, Tyrone and Glen. To the very last breath, you both lived up to the SEAL Code. You served all of us well.  You were courageous in the face of certain death. And Tyrone, even though you never got to hold your newborn son, he will grow up knowing the character and quality of his father, a man among men who sacrificed himself defending others.

Dr. Charles R. Roots
Senior Pastor
Former Staff Sergeant,
USMC Captain,
U.S. Navy Chaplain Corps (Ret.)

This should be passed on and on and on.

And Let us never forget Hillary Clinton’s Comment
“What Difference Does It Make?”

And she wants to be our next president!
She should be sitting in prison right now!!!

And if there was a different party in the White House, she WOULD be in prison right now.  Come on people, the evidence is stacked up higher then a pile of shit has any right to expect through physics and the laws of nature!  Remember these terrible lies and horrible things these people have done when it comes time for reelection!  And every congressman and every senator who has remained silent should be cast into the jaws of purgatory with them!

<Sneezing fit is heard followed by some impressive nose bugling>

Excuse me folks all this Spring Cleaning, both here of my archives and at Keebler Towers, where the Spring Cleaning ritual has taken on an added dimension due to a impending visit by Molly’s grandparents, has got my allergies getting the best of me. Pardon me a moment… <more nose bugling is heard from behind to podium>

I’m off for a moment to find my friend Mr. Benadryl Caplet and I’ll catch up with you. Go on ahead and get started on the issue. ‘Tis an especially fine end it has today!

A bather whose clothing was strewed,
By winds that left her quite nude,
Saw a man come along,
And unless we are wrong,
You expected this line to be lewd.

There was a young lass from Australia
Who painted her ass like a Dahlia
The shape it was fine
And the color divine
But the aroma–well, that was a faihlia

There was a young lady named Kite
Whose speed was much faster than light.
She left home one day
In a relative way
And returned on the previous night.

I once took our vicar to tea;
It was just as I thought it would be:
His rumblings abdominal
Were simply phenomenal,
And everyone thought it was me.

A gourmet dining at Crewe
Found a rather large mouse in his stew.
Said the waiter, “Don’t shout
And wave it about,
Or the rest will be wanting one, too.”

There once was a slimmer named Steen
Who grew so phenomenally lean
And flat, and compressed,
That his back touched his chest,
So that sideways he couldn’t be seen.

A young schizophrenic named Struther,
Who learned of the death of his Brother,
Said, “I know that its bad,
But I don’t feel too sad.
After all, I still have each other.”

The incredible Wizard of Oz
Retired from his business becoz
due to up-to-date science,
To most of his clients,
He wasn’t the Wizard he woz.

There was an old gent from Hyde
Who ate rotten apples and died.
The apples fermented
Inside the lamented
And made cider inside his inside.

Said an ape as he swung by his tail,
To his offspring both female and male,
“From your offspring, my dears,
In a couple of years,
May evolve a professor at Yale.”

God’s plan made a hopeful beginning,
But Man spoilt his chances by sinning;
We trust that the story
Will end in great glory,
But at present the other side’s winning.

Said an envious, erudite ermine,
“There’s one thing I cannot determine:
When a girl wears my coat,
She’s a person of note.
When I wear it, I’m called only vermin.”

There was a young lady named Rose
Who had a large wart on her nose.
When she had it removed
Her appearance improved,
But her glasses slipped down to her toes.

An elderly man called Keith
Mislaid his set of false teeth –
They’d been laid on a chair,
He’d forgot they were there,
Sat down, and was bitten beneath.

There’s a wonderful family called Stein:
There’s Gert and there’s Ep and there’s Ein.
Gert’s poems are bunk,
Ep’s statues are junk,
And no one can understand Ein.

and disproving looks from a certain Leprechaun!

Teens blame Michelle Obama for ‘nasty’ lunches

Healthier school lunch options ‘just being thrown out anyway,’ students say

Published On: May 06 2014 10:23:40 AM CD

Many teens are fed up with the “nasty” healthier lunches they’re getting at school.

And they blame Michelle Obama.

The healthier school lunch standards have been phased in over the past two years as part of the Healthy and Hunger-Free Kids Act championed by the first lady as a way to combat rising obesity levels among children.

But now some schools are asking to roll back some of the new requirements, saying they’ve been expensive and difficult to put in place.

Teens interviewed by The Wire just want their tater tots back.

“The food even LOOKED more presentable before,” Anthony Gallimore, a high school senior from Georgia, wrote. “And if nobody chooses to eat the gross food, then it can’t possibly be helping anyone. It’s just being thrown out anyway.” 

Caitlin Tagner, a high school sophomore from North Carolina, is very clear about who she points the finger at: “I blame Michelle Obama.”

The lunch standards were approved by Congress and the U.S. Department of Agriculture in 2010.

Many of the teens interviewed by The Wire are now bringing their own lunches to school.

OK so let me see if I got it right-

The change part of ‘Hope and Change’ have been things that make us seem week foolish and stupid to other countries. A National Healthcare Plan which no working Adult wants but is being forced fed and made to foot an exorbitant bill for.  The force feeding of lunches our children don’t want so they refuse to eat and thereby more money is thrown away wasted as well.

Mean while Obama  vacations like its going out of style at $20 mil a clip, our Nuclear deterrent force operated on 45 year old archaic technology and our Military academies where our next generation of protectors are supposed to be learning their craft can get cut $100 mil and the weight of our already crushing national Debt grows even greater.

Seems to me the only hope in that ‘Hope and Change’ is the hope we can as people and a nation can survive the remainder of Obama’s Presidency!

Impish and I hope you remember that only by voting these Obamaphants out of office can we affect change for the better. 

 

 

Man’s Life Saved Because His Doctor Watched “House”

And they say TV will rot your brain.

By Kate Knibbs Feb. 07, © Mario Anzuoni/Reuters/Corbis

A German man with severe heart failure, fever, blindness, deafness, and enlarged lymph nodes went to a medical center for undiagnosed diseases, desperate to be treated by the best as he struggled to understand his unexplained condition.

But his real savior was Hugh Laurie’s irascible charisma.

The 55-year-old man’s deterioration had puzzled other doctors. But Dr. Juergen Schaefer, who treated the man, told the AP he diagnosed the man within five minutes.

Schaefer didn’t rely on medical textbooks to make his (correct) diagnosis. Instead, he used his memory of the U.S. television show House, which ran from 2004 to 2012 on Fox and told the story of a borderline-sociopathic medical doctor whose abrasive personality and generally poor decision making counter-balanced his uncanny ability to solve medical mysteries.

The unidentified man’s case reminded Schaefer of a House episode in which a woman (played by Candice Bergen) comes in suffering from heart failure and it turns out she has cobalt poisoning from her hip joint replacement. The German man, as it turns out, had cobalt poisoning from his hip joint replacement as well.

Schaefer isn’t just a casual House fan. No, he actually teaches medical students using House as a way to explain rare diseases, so the episode was fresh in his memory. And he literally wrote the book on how to apply House the fictional television show to real life medical practice. It’s called Housemedizin: Die Diagnosen von “Dr. House.”

British medical journal Lancet published a report on this unusual case, but did not mention whether lawyers should start consulting Franklin & Bash whilst trying cases with their best buddy.

Finally got the sink fixed…

Not to worry, the left  handle does white wine.

 

To  paraphrase W.C. Fields, “I don’t drink water, because fish screw in it.”   

    To  my friends who enjoy a glass of wine.. . and  those who don’t..

As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom,   in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) – bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop..

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember:

Water = Poop,

Wine/Beer  = Health

Therefore, it’s better to drink wine/beer and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit .

 There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I’m doing it as a public service! 

TOLD YOU it was an especially fine end this week!

Good Morning Campers!  Happy Saturday!  My first Saturday off in a long time!  I have plans.  Big plans!

I’m going to sleep.  Yup.  Sleep.

I’m probably still asleep while you’re reading this.

I may still be asleep hours after you’re done reading it. 

Yup,

sleep.

Maybe I’ll get some other things done.  Maybe.

Okay, so you got my plans for the weekend, what’re yours?

 

 

The true meaning of sportsmanship is shown at a girls college softball game.  What a great victory this is and a stunning example for others.

 

You’ve seen the video of the kids on a Marine base stopping their play for the sounding of the colors.  Showing a better example of patriotism than I’ve seen from adults at a ball game or even some service members at other military bases.  Well, here is another great example of a Marine putting aside his own and helping someone less able than him.

And yes, for those of you who know me, you know that my military association in the past and the present has been with the Air Force.  I love my fellow zoomies, (and for that matter, all my brothers and sisters in uniform) but I also have a special spot in my heart for the Marines.  I have yet to meet one who didn’t have the best demeanor and attitude.  Besides the fact that one of my best friends and fellow Laffer, Lethal Leprechaun is a Marine.

 

You guys know that I’m a paracord nut.  I’ve done many projects with paracord and have even offered some of them to you guys (although only one person took me up on the offer).  So, here’s a little idea of what else you can do with paracord:

And here is some of my own projects:

 

Detroit Residents Stunned !!!

Police in Detroit announced the discovery of an arms cache of 200 semi-automatic rifles with 25,000 rounds of ammunition,  200 pounds of heroin, 5 million dollars in forged US banknotes and 25 prostitutes — all located in a semi-detached house behind the Public Library on Woodward Avenue.

Local residents were stunned.  A community spokesman said:

“We’re all shocked,…….we never knew we had a library.”

 

 

 

 

Pardon me campers, while I take a minute out to conduct a little business with my partner…
Hey Lethal, the Russian Arms Manufacturer has sent another prototype for the request you put in for air defense at headquarters.  We had his demonstration video taped so you could view it at your leisure…

 

 

For you fans of “The Walking Dead” how many of these zombies do you work with?

 

If you haven’t seen this foursome play yet, then here is your chance.  They’ve been featured on several different websites, including our friend Kim Komando.  They put on one hell of an act…funny and extraordinarily good.

 

 

And of course, it’s from America’s Funniest Home Videos, so you know this one is going to be good.  It’s short, it’s funny and watch to the end.

 

 

 

Teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Little Johnny says: “I wanna be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest girlfriend, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, and an Infinite Visa Card, while having sex with her three times a day”.

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Johnny, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson… “And how about you, Sarah?”

Sarah: “I wanna be Johnny’s girlfriend!”

 

 

 

Beautiful music, beautiful video.  Our dear friend and fellow camper Ginny sent this one to us and says:

Cockpit view Landing through thick cloud

Sound On and Full Screen

Known as the land of the long white cloud, so if you fly into NZ you could, well, encounter this scenario.

Hold on to your seat.

This is spectacular. I often have wondered why the airline industry doesn’t have a live video feed from the aircraft’s nose streamed into the cabin in order  to amuse and bedazzle their weary travelers. 

This is the descent into Queenstown , New Zealand . It must take great faith in your instruments to pilot an approach like this but the rush must be amazing.

 

 

 

Thanks to dad for sending this one.  Brings a whole new meaning to the acronym IUD (Inter Uterine Derringer)

Stolen weapon found during search at Tennessee jail

 

APRIL    22–A 19-year-old Tennessee woman had a loaded handgun hidden in her vagina when she was brought into jail yesterday afternoon following a collar for driving with a suspended license, police report.

As Dallas Archer was being booked into the Kingsport jail, a female corrections officer alerted to an “unknown object” in the teenager’s crotch during a search.

 

The jailer and a female cop then accompanied Archer to a bathroom for further examination, a review that led to the recovery of a “North American Arms 22 LR revolver (loaded) which Ms. Dallas had concealed in her vagina,” according to a Kingsport Police Department report.

 

A subsequent check revealed that the five-shot mini-revolver–which is four inches in length–had been “stolen from an auto burglary in 2013.” The handgun, which police valued at $250, is owned by John Souther, a 70-year-old retired car salesman.

 

In a TSG interview, Souther said that the gun was taken from his 1994 Mustang, which was “ransacked” last year while parked in his Kingsport carport. Souther said that police told him that the revolver had been recovered, but offered no further details. When told where the gun had been stashed, Souther said, “Oh, gosh.” He noted that he would eventually like “the little fellow” returned, but added that the weapon would require “a bath in bleach.”

 

News of the weapon in Archer’s vagina was first reported by the Kingsport Times-News.

 

Archer, seen in the above mug shot, was charged with gun possession and introducing contraband into a penal facility.

 

According to a jail official, Archer was released from custody after posting $6000 bond

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/loaded-gun-hidden-in-vagina-576432

Posted one-liners. A few relate to the article, so read it first!

1. ​I thought it was her gun. Turns out it was snatched!
2. Gives new meaning to a gun having a “hair trigger”.
3. Happiness is a warm gun?
4. At four inches in length it comes off as half cocked…
5. “For sale AA22LR never used;  still in the box.”
6. Report reads, “…Introducing contraband into a penal facility.” Shouldn’t that be ‘penile’ facility?
7. If it went off, could you call it her ‘boom box’?
8. Remember : Every vagina is to be treated as if it is loaded. Always keep it pointed in a safe direction.
9. They say it was a gun, but something smells fishy.
10. You can have my gun when you can pry it from my cold, stinking…
11. Oh my… Accident waiting to happen.  Could ‘shoot the beaver’.
12. I have heard of shooting your mouth off, but this takes on a “hole” new meaning…
13. Complete reversal on the classic, “Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?”
14. I wonder if she had ‘gun-areah’?
15. Gives a whole new meaning to “Vaginal Discharge”…
16. Do you suppose she had a ‘rectal reloader’?
17. A gun in hand is worth 2 in the bush?
18. Figures… It uses ‘rim shot’ ammo.

 

 

 

Butt Bugling-Who knew it was a real thing?

A Conundrum is….

The definition of the word Conundrum is: something that is puzzling or confusing.

Here are six Conundrums of socialism in the United States of America:

1. America is capitalist and greedy – yet half of the population is subsidized.

2. Half of the population is subsidized – yet they think they are victims.

3. They think they are victims – yet their representatives run the government.

4. Their representatives run the government – yet the poor keep getting poorer.

5. The poor keep getting poorer – yet they have things that people in other countries only dream about.

6. They have things that people in other countries only dream about –
yet they want America to be more like those other countries.

Think about it! And that, my friends, pretty much sums up the USA in the 21st Century

 

Alright! Stop Drooling all over my lunch and NO YOU CANNOT have a bite! YES that DOES include you Impish…unless your looking for a double forked tongue?

Sweet & Spicy Picante Chicken

Prep 15 min.

Total 35 min.

 Serves 4

Bake: 20 min.

Cost per recipe: $7.92

Looking for an easy-to-make dish that’s loaded with flavor?  Try this family-pleasing dish that mixes picante sauce, brown sugar and mustard to make a savory sauce for moist and juicy baked chicken.

What You’ll Need

1 1/4 pounds skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
1 jar (16 ounces) Picante Sauce or Salsa
3 tablespoons packed light brown sugar
1 tablespoon Dijon-style mustard
1 cup regular long-grain white rice, prepared according to package directions (about 3 cups)

How to Make It

• 1 Heat the oven to 400°F. Place the chicken into a 2-quart shallow baking dish. Stir the picante sauce, brown sugar and mustard in a small bowl. Pour the picante sauce mixture over the chicken.
• 2 Bake for 20 minutes or until the chicken is cooked through. Serve the chicken and sauce with the rice.

I added garlic and onion powders to this so that I didn’t have to season the chicken at all, just put it in a pan and cover it with the sauce and let it bake.

If you’re using a milder heat Picante or Salsa or one that isn’t all that lime tart I’d suggest cutting the initial amount of brown sugar by half and tasting the sauce then adjusting from there. Heat likes the sweet but with milder Picante/Salsa I found the recommended 3 Tablespoons a bit over powering. If yours winds up too sweet a splash of lime juice or Red wine vinegar should help, or you could just reach for the hot sauce- as the Cajuns say- ‘more hotter more better!’

Spicy Sweet Potato Fries

A great healthy accompaniment to the Sweet & Spicy Picante Chicken if you don’t want rice or are just in the mood for something a little different. They can even be done at the same time the chicken is backing by putting them in 30 minutes prior to the chicken then turning tie oven down to 400 when the chicken goes in.

Ingredients

2 large garnet yams or sweet potatoes, cut into wedges
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 tablespoon chili powder
1/2 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon cayenne

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 425ºF.
2. Toss cut sweet potatoes in olive oil, cumin, chili powder, garlic powder, and cayenne. Make sure every wedge is evenly coated.
3. Roast cut-side down for 30 minutes, turning once.

 

The Land That Made Me Me

 

 

Famous Quotes with a More Appropriate Authors

1. “She’s a black magic woman. She’s tryin’ to make a devil out of me.” – Donald Sterling
2. “I’ve got a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.” – Fred Phelps
3. “Say ‘hello’ to my little friend!” – Anthony Weiner
4. “All your base are belong to us.” – Vladimir Putin

And the Number One Famous Quote with a More Appropriate Author…

1. “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again.” – John Boehner

OUR NUCLEAR MISSILES ARE STILL RUN BY 8-INCH FLOPPY DISKS !

Get ready to see unprecedented footage from inside one of the U.S. Air Force’s nuclear missile silos. You’d think it would be full of state-of-the-art technology, but you’d be wrong. It’s more like going back in time! You won’t believe what it looks like inside America’s secret bunkers.  http://www.cbsnews.com/videos/tour-a-nuclear-launch-control-center

That not frightening enough for you? How about adding to that the fact that our Nuclear Bomber Fleet is run on the exact same antiquated system! But hey! Go ahead, chop the military budget some more so Obama can take another vacation, the government can give more of our money to foreign countries that hate us and to illegal aliens coming to this country for a free ride or to be subversive!

 

 

AS YOU BLOODY WELL WERE! QUIET IN THE DESCENTING RANKS! SILENCE IN THE LIBERAL PEANUT (BRAINED) GALLERY!

Sgt. at Wings Dragon!: The very next bloody fool who hisses, boos, heckles, launches a shoe, casts aspersions on my female relations &/or parentage and them that tries to leave before I explain the point behind such a provocative header  GET FLAMED! THAT’S AN ORDER!

OK, that’s better! First of all, me apologies to Bill Hughes for nicking the cover to his book to help make my point and to the Pope for nicking his image for the same reason. I assure both of you my intentions are strictly honorable despite the grandstanding to make my point.

Generally this sort of a thing would come under the heading of ‘We Get Mail’. However given the seriousness of what the comment to me concerned I didn’t fell that ‘We Get Mail’ was the place to address the issue, especially given the potential future ramifications of situation and the likelihood that it might get lost or skipped over in the middle of the issue, (not that I delude myself into believing anyone scrolls through the issue to read the Parting Shot first).

In this case I have redacted the name of the sender to protect their identity. These remarks we’re made to me in confidence as the reader and I have a long history of exchange blunt and honest opinions and view points. I would do nothing to see the trust this implies damaged.

I’ll let the exchange do the talking from here on. I do suggest reading the article the link points to. Also Impish and I but would welcome any polite civil and well reasoned exchange of views anyone might chose to post in the comments section or to us directly at the following address:

Sorry you’ll have to actually resort to copying the address down but this cuts down on web crawling spam bots getting our addresses and clogging up our Inboxes so we miss email from actual readers. Though in the case of the emails from liberals, I think I’d rather converse with the SPAM bots. Finally for all you holy rollers ready to inform me of my destination in the hereafter because of this article, save your strength,  I’ve no delusions of my destination after solving the final mystery, nor any about the weight your proclamations & judgments carry in that decision.

 

From: Like I said redacted– nice try though you nosey SOB! 

Sent: Saturday, May 03, 2014 8:06 AM

Subject: Check out Vatican Urges U.N. Not To Equate Sex Abuse With Torture As Hearings

if you want just one reason why I won’t step foot in a catholic church, here it is……….bastards, 18,000 sexual abuse cases by priests and they don’t consider that torture.  many ‘tortured’ die – these boys defiled by the church are tortured for the rest of their lives.

Click here: Vatican Urges U.N. Not To Equate Sex Abuse With Torture As Hearings Get Underway

From: S. Phibber McGee

Sent: Sunday, May 04, 2014 3:46 PM

To:  Like I said redacted– nice try though you nosey SOB! 

Subject: Re: Check out Vatican Urges U.N. Not To Equate Sex Abuse With Torture As Hearings

Yea I saw that too, I understand why they don’t want it associated with torture and why they don’t see it in the same  rank/class as waterboarding or electric shock but I do agree that at some point it becomes psychological torture for the victim however I also think it might be more accurate to classify it as an event leading to PTSD like rape or sexual assault since torture is synonymous with Terrorism and War.

I would point out that as the article does:

… the Vatican’s permanent observer to the U.N. in Geneva, Archbishop Silvano Tomasi, said in a newspaper interview Friday the incidence of sexual abuse by Catholic clergy was “the lowest” among all the professions, including teachers and judges.

I’m taking the term “professions” in that quote to refer to those professions in which adults are in a position of authority and implied trust over children.  If Archbishop Tomasi’s assertion is in fact factual then I see the hypocrisy that has been historically rampant in the Church as well and the organized and sanctioned cover up and stonewalling as the cause for then excessive/out of proportion attention that the issue receives in relation the the RCC. I know locally just from reading the news briefs I receive from the Houston Chronicle and 2 local Nationally affiliated TV stations on my home page that at least 4 times in the last 6 weeks local teachers have been arrested for alleged inappropriate sexual behavior with minors. In fact in 2 cases it was with multiple minors.

Not only do you not see this making the National news let alone International news feeds, you don’t see groups being formed to represent these kids against School Boards who hide their investigations behind policies of ‘protecting the kids’ (do you REALLY think that the entire school doesn’t know who was banging the headboard with which teacher??!!) nor anyone banging away at the UN to declare student/teacher sexual encounters a from or torture.

From a legal stand point, I see the UN including it as part of the accepted definition of torture presenting a potentially slippery legal slope for several reasons. The minute it’s declared torture some ambulance chasing unscrupulous litigator (my personal money is on the ACLU) looking to make headlines &/or a name for themselves (plus a large fee)  will attempt to indict the Roman Catholic Church in the World Court (ICJ) for being Complicit In Crimes Against Humanity.

Additionally some enterprising lawyer will then get up in a court someplace where a Rape case is being tried and assert that Rape is a form of sexual abuse or (conversely) all sexual abuse is in fact a from of Rape ergo it must all be considered Torture in accordance with the UN’s declaration. Now undoubtedly this particular gambit will fail because (in the US) w/o the blessing of Congress what ever the UN says doesn’t amount to a fart in a cow barn. However the idea will have been planted and a point made that liberals will flock to as the ‘cause de jour’.

Likely also, any charges bought against the Roman Catholic Church in the World Court (ICJ) would also fail as such occurrences would all have been before the law/ruling/equating was passed.

Further the Vatican despite being recognized as a Sovereign Entity and having full Diplomatic Status in many nations is not, nor has ever been, a member of the UN. They have what is known as ‘Permanent Observer status’ (which in plain speak means that like everywhere else they can stick their nose in and complain about things that do not adhere to their dogma but the moment someone points at them they can raise their ancient much over used objection “HEY! JUST A MINUTE NOW! How about a little respect for separation of church and state! We can stick the nose of our camel into your tents but keep yours out of our religion please! Besides you can’t tell us jack we’re not a member.”

Beyond that, the loss of all the talking heads and comedians from brain explosions over the incomprehensible scale of the irony in the largest condemner of torture and staunchest supporter of the UN’s 2002 Convention Against Torture being cited for harboring and covering up for sexual torturers would leave several generations bereft of absurd points of view from alleged ‘accredited news’ sources and comically poignant/satirical jokes, jibes & skits.