Dragon Laffs #1385


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Good Morning Campers!
Well, another Saturday is upon us.  And believe it or not, we went from a week of 80 degree temperatures to having an overnight frost warning last night.  What the heck?

Way off in the distance, I can hear a liberal’s echo…”global warming! global warming!”

Anyway, another work day for me today.  At least I have two decent sized classes.  I do enjoy teaching, and the overtime, but it still sucks working on a Saturday.  Oh well.

My Dad, or as Lethal Leprechaun likes to call him, Papa Dragon the Magnificent, just completed a statue of me from my time in the military.  It’s a good likeness if I do say so myself.

3gI like it!  It turned out really nice.  You can see that younger, roguish look in my eye and the bad-boy flick to my tail.  Ah, those were the days.  Oh the battles we fought and the women we….

Ahem!

Sorry, not trying to give up our R rating for one even stronger.  Let’s move on, shall we?

So, there’s enough in today’s issue to make you laugh, piss you off and make you go hmm!  Maybe not the same things for everyone, but everyone ought to find something.

So, on with the mirth, the guffaws, the high pitched screaming and…

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This is GREAT!  This is Mission Im-purr-sible!  Okay, so not great, but you’ll get it in a minute.

The cat is obviously trained since he returns the toy and drops it.  How many of you have cats that do what YOU want?

2bThat would actually be the email they would ignore, time after time.

Stuart Edge has done some really great things in the past, but this is one Mother’s Day Prank that is the sweetest thing you’ve seen all day!

 

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Amen!  I don’t know how they do it in other states, but you do not have to register firearms in Indiana.  You apply for and pay for a conceal carry permit, but no one asks you if you own any weapons.  Sales from official gun stores and such are documented, but personal sales are not…guess which type is favored by blue dragons in Indiana?

 

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DragonPapa1 (258)

 

 

In  Texas there is a town called New  Braunfels, where there is a large German-speaking population. 

One day, a local rancher driving down a country road noticed a man using his  hand to drink water from the rancher’s stock pond.

The  rancher rolled down the window and shouted: “Sehr angenehm!  Trink das Wasser  nicht. Die kuehe haben darein geschissen.” (This means: “Glad  to meet you! Don’t drink the water. The cows have shit in  it.”)

The  man shouted back: “I’m from New York and just down  here campaigning for Obama’s health care plan. I can’t understand you. Please  speak in English.”

The  rancher replied: “Use two hands.”

 

 

How long does does it take for a real TV marathon?

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Congress formed a select committee to probe the Benghazi attack Thursday. The White House stopped saying it was caused by an anti-Muslim video, now they think the fire at the U.S. consulate was ignited by global warming. They can’t blame Bush so they’re going after Gore.

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Michael Jordan: the Life is a new biography in which the NBA legend says he saw so much racism in North Carolina he grew up hating white people. He says sports healed him. Jordan was finally able to feel compassion for white people when he saw them trying to play basketball.

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The Vatican repeated its opposition to Obamacare’s forcing churches to pay for morning-after birth control pills for women workers. The science is so advanced on birth control that Pfizer is developing a morning-after pill for men. It changes your DNA and your phone number.

 

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A new report shows that President Obama has visited 45 states during his time in office. When he heard that, Biden said, “Wow, he’s been to ALL of ’em?”

 

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For the second time in three days, the White House has gone into lockdown after someone threw an object over the fence. Finally today, President Obama took away Joe Biden’s Frisbee.

 

Fantasy Pic Green

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Missing Wife

Husband: I lost my wife. She went shopping & still hasn’t arrived home yet.

 Police Inspector: What is her height?

Husband: I’m not sure, average I think.

Inspector: Slim or healthy?

Husband: Not slim, can be healthy.

Inspector: Color of eyes?

Husband: Not sure. Brown maybe?

Inspector: Color of hair ?

Husband: Changes according to the season.

Inspector: What was she wearing?

Husband: Pants and shirt, maybe a dress or something ….. I don’t remember exactly.

Inspector: Did she go in a car???

Husband: Yes!!!

Inspector: Can you tell me the number, name & color of the car?

Husband: License # NLH-638 Black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0 litre V6 engine generating 333 horse power teamed with an eight-speed tiptronic automatic transmission with manual mode….and it has full LED headlights, which use light emitting diodes for all light functions and has a very thin scratch on the front left door.

At this point the husband started crying…

Inspector: Don’t worry sir, we will find your car……….

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Famous Political Quotes:

These are very good and should be shared with everyone.  Funny how it seems that people from years ago could almost foresee the future.  Or is it perhaps instead, that the same problems we have now have just been repeated over and over again through history.  There will always be evil in the world and it’s up to us to do what we can to fight it.

1. In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.

    — John Adams

2. If you don’t read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.

    — Mark Twain

3. Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself.

    — Mark Twain

4. I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.

    —Winston Churchill

5. A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.

    — George Bernard Shaw

6. A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.

    — G. Gordon Liddy

7. Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.

    —James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)

8. Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.

    — Douglas Case, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University.

9. Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

    — P.J. O’Rourke, Civil Libertarian

10. Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.

    — Frederic Bastiat, French economist(1801-1850)

11. Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it.  If it keeps moving, regulate it.  And if it stops moving, subsidize it.

    —Ronald Reagan (1986)

12. I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

    — Will Rogers

13. If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it’s free!

    — P. J. O’Rourke

14. In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other.

    —Voltaire (1764)

15. Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn’t mean politics won’t take an interest in you!

    — Pericles (430 B.C.)

16. No man’s life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.

    — Mark Twain (1866)

17. Talk is cheap, except when Congress does it.

    — Anonymous

18. The government is like a baby’s alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.

    — Ronald Reagan

19. The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.

    — Winston Churchill

20. The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.  (My personal favorite!)

      — Mark Twain

21. The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.

      — Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)

22. There is no distinctly Native American criminal class, save Congress.

    — Mark Twain

23. What this country needs are more unemployed politicians

    —Edward Langley, Artist (1928-1995)

24. A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. 

    — Thomas Jefferson

25. We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.

    — Aesop

FIVE BEST SENTENCES

1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.

2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.

3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.

5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work, because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation!

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You guys know how I am.  Sometimes I send out a lot of political stuff, sometimes a lot of humor and sometimes some of the touchy-feely (wussy ~ LL) (Get out of my post, Lethal!) kind of stuff.  This one is one of the latter type.  But, I had to include it because it has such a happy ending! Oh, and it’s all done in pictures!
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Like I said…happy ending!
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your attention

yes dear

 

what really happened

what kind

Well Doc

Must’ve been one hell of a sandwich!

 

And under the category of “You Can’t Make This Shit Up” we get this doozy out of Chicago.  And the real surprise is that she had such a good, wholesome father figure at home.  Geez!  I just don’t understand kids these days!

Jeremiah Wright’s Daughter Convicted on 11 Counts of Fraud

Somehow we all missed this one — funny how that happens!!

Chickens Come Home to Roost Rev. Jeremiah Wright’s Daughter Convicted on 11 Counts of Fraud

Posted by Jim Hoft on Saturday, March 8, 2014, 7:54 PM

Jeri Wright and Rev. Jeremiah Wright

In September Jeri Wright, daughter of Reverend, God Damn  America,  Wright and 12 other Democrats were charged with embezzling $16 million in Federal health grants that should have gone to AIDS charities and other programs for the poor and needy.

More than one of the defendants had direct ties to President Barack Obama.

On Friday Reverend Jeremiah Wright’s daughter was found guilty of eleven counts that included money laundering and lying to federal agents.

Breitbart reported: On Friday, a federal jury took less than two hours to convict the daughter of President Barack Obama’s controversial former pastor, Jeremiah Wright, of fraud. Jeri Wright was found guilty of a fraud scheme that siphoned thousands of taxpayer dollars intended for a not-for-profit work and education program known as We Are Our Brothers Keeper.

Prosecutor Timothy Bass said Jeri Wright lied over and over and went on a spending spree that included traveling to Las Vegas , buying vehicles, and remodeling her basement with cash from the money laundering scheme.

She was found guilty on all counts.

If you take and misuse government money, and then lie about it, you will be held accountable in a court of law, said  U.S. Attorney for the Central District of  Illinois , Jim Lewis.

http://www.nbcnews.com/news/crime-courts/daughter-jeremiah-wright-convicted-fraud-scheme-n47841

To be sentenced on 7 July 2014.

Think we ought to start a pool to see how much she gets out of?

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I was looking for Lethal Leprechaun recently and couldn’t find him.  I found out he was in the hospital!  He was beaten up and put there by this woman!

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Lethal was in an elevator when she got in. He was staring at her boobs when she said, “Would you please press 1”

So he did…and he doesn’t remember much afterwards.

He should be out of the hospital in a few days, at least by the time this publishes.

Poor guy!  I would’ve done the same thing.

 

 

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The true story of Mario Worlds…

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Okay, that is SO wrong on SO many levels!!!!!  ashamed

 

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That’s wrong, too!  Look, I’m a professional Emergency Manager and I say that in case of a fire, taking fucking large steps is a damn GOOD idea!  Fucking Amateurs! 

 

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Today’s Last Word comes from an article sent to me by my dad (Thanks Dad!) That seems to spark controversy no matter where I searched for it on line.  Snopes says it’s undetermined and truthorfiction.com doesn’t really address the whole letter.  I’ll try to intersperse their interpretations where applicable.   Let’s start, shall we?

“What Difference Does It Make?”

THIS IS A TRUE  STORY… and a dirty one!

Written by a cousin of Ambassador Stevens,  a US Navy Chaplain, Senior Pastor (Ret.)

You need to read this true account of what happened to our Ambassador Stevens and the other 3 who died. If this doesn’t make you mad…

Cynthia Lee Myers (the cousin of one of the security men at the embassy) wanted to share the truth of what happened over in Libya, you will not find this in the media yet, but it aired on FNC… please read…

“Here is my story. A week out the Embassy in Tripoli began receiving multiple tips about an Al Qaeda cell in the area planning an attack on 9/11 in response to the killing of Bin Laden. For the next several days, the state dept. and WH were asked for a security force and were denied at least six times. Ambassador Stevens and his team were given the all clear that the Consulate in Benghazi was safe and there was no need for a security force other than his three personal guards (one being my cousin) and a few Libyans who were not armed. (There is other evidence to suggest that these Libyans were actually members of Al Qaeda)

Then the attack and murders occurred. Immediately the WH claimed it was a protest gone bad over a you tube video. Obama made a quick speech in the Rose Garden on Sept. 12 before catching a plane to Vegas to campaign. He made a generic statement at the end of his speech after placing the blame on an overheated protest over the video. He said “No act of terror will shake the resolve of America. Later that day and over the next 2 days, the liberal media began saying Ambassador Stevens and the other three men died of smoke inhalation. This was not the case.

Out of respect for my cousin, I’m not going to be specific about his murder. However Ambassador Stevens was brutally murdered. His genitals were cut off, he was sodomized and beaten and cut and stabbed and burned. He was drug thru the streets and left for dead. (Snopes has a video which shows men pulling someone from a burnt building and praising Allah for his rescue and that he was still alive, but after watching the video, I don’t see how anyone can tell who it might possibly be that’s being pulled from the building.)

This is eyewitness testimony of a local Dr. who found the Ambassador in a ditch and tried to save his life. He had no idea who he was. The other three men, including my cousin, met similar fates. And deaths due to smoke inhalation is a 100% fabricated LIE.

The next week I drove my aunt and uncle and 2 others to DC to receive his body. We met with Hillary, Panetta, and Susan Rice. ALL of whom apologized and said it was a protest gone bad over a video and exited the area. Next, Obama entered with the same story and didn’t apologize and wasn’t sympathetic. My aunt cried to this man and all he did was hand her flowers and walk away. I tried to get his attention, but didn’t. I got upset and yelled liar to him, he kept walking. Then a secret service agent grabbed my arm and led me to a room where I was held till the proceedings were over. (It would be months before the official story of a protest gone bad to an act of terror would change.  Come on people!  They KNEW it was a lie when they said it!  There have been witnesses that have said that the White House, specifically Obama and Hillary WATCHED it take place via drone camera!  Why then are members of the CIA being polygraphed over and over to make sure that none of them talk??)

America, I saw firsthand how cold this man is. What kind of liar he is. Most of you haven’t a clue about this tyrant and yet you support him. And act like every word he says is Gospel. These murders and the fast and furious cover ups make Watergate look like a kid who told his bff’s secret to the class.

THIS PART YOU DON’T KNOW, BUT SHOULD.

AMERICAN VALOR, BENGHAZI, LIBYA:
The stunning part of this story is that Tyrone Woods and Glen Doherty killed 60 of the attacking force. Once the compound was overrun, the attackers were incensed to discover that just two men had inflicted so much death and destruction. (Snopes refutes this and says that there is no evidence that they killed 60 attackers)

The news has been full of the attacks on our embassies throughout the Muslim world, and in particular, the deaths of Ambassador Chris Stevens and three others in Benghazi, Libya. However, there’s a little known story of incredible bravery, heroics, and courage that should be the top story.

So what actually happened at the U.S. embassy in Libya? We are learning more about this every day. Ambassador Stevens and Foreign Service officer Sean Smith, along with administrative staff, were working out of temporary quarters due to the fact that in the spring of 2011 during the so-called Arab Spring, the United States cut ties with then president Moammar Gadhafi.

Our embassy was looted and ransacked, causing it to be unusable. It is still in a state of disrepair.  Security for embassies and their personnel is to be provided by the host nation. Since Libya has gone through a civil war of sorts in the past 18 months, the current government is very unstable, and therefore, unreliable.

A well-organized attack by radical Muslims was planned specifically targeting the temporary U.S. embassy building. The Libyan security force that was in place to protect our people deserted their post, or joined the attacking force. Either way, our people were in a real fix. And it should be noted that Ambassador Stevens had mentioned on more than one occasion to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, that he was quite concerned for his personal safety and the welfare of his people.It is thought that Ambassador Stevens was on a “hit list.” (and his concerns were ignored, over and over again.  Could he have been on that hit list because of other things the US government was doing in the area?  Like the CIA getting guns to the rebels, which would of course have pissed off the radicals!)

A short distance from the American compound, two Americans were sleeping. They were in Libya as independent contractors working an assignment totally unrelated to our embassy. They also happened to be former Navy Seals.

When they heard the noise coming from the attack on our embassy, as you would expect from highly trained warriors, they ran to the fight. Apparently, they had no weapons, but seeing the Libyan guards dropping their guns in their haste in fleeing the scene, Tyrone Woods and Glen Doherty snatched up several of these discarded weapons and prepared to defend the American compound.

Not knowing exactly what was taking place, the two Seals set up a defensive perimeter. Unfortunately Ambassador Stevens was already gravely injured, and Foreign Service officer, Sean Smith, was dead. However, due to their quick action and suppressive fire, twenty administrative personnel in the embassy were able to escape to safety. (But all have been silenced and kept away from congress and all investigations on Benghazi!!!) Eventually, these two courageous men were overwhelmed by the sheer numbers brought against them, an enemy force numbering between 100 to 200 attackers which came in two waves. But the stunning part of the story is that Tyrone Woods and Glen Doherty killed 60 of the attacking force. Once the compound was overrun, the attackers were incensed to discover that just two men had inflicted so much death and destruction.

As it became apparent to these selfless heroes, they were definitely going to lose their lives unless some reinforcements showed up in a hurry. As we know now, that was not to be. I’m fairly certain they knew they were going to die in this gun fight, but not before they took a whole lot of bad guys with them! (It has been said that the place of honor you receive in Heaven is higher with the total “Honor Guard” you send to hell)

Consider these tenets of the Navy SEAL Code:
1) Loyalty to Country, Team and Teammate,
2) Serve with Honor and Integrity On and Off the Battlefield,
3) Ready to Lead, Ready to Follow, Never Quit,
4) Take responsibility for your actions and the actions of your teammates,
5) Excel as Warriors through Discipline and Innovation,
6) Train for War, Fight to Win, Defeat our Nation’s Enemies, and…
7) Earn your Trident every day.

Thank you, Tyrone and Glen. To the very last breath, you both lived up to the SEAL Code. You served all of us well.  You were courageous in the face of certain death. And Tyrone, even though you never got to hold your newborn son, he will grow up knowing the character and quality of his father, a man among men who sacrificed himself defending others.

Dr. Charles R. Roots
Senior Pastor
Former Staff Sergeant,witch
USMC Captain,
U.S. Navy Chaplain Corps (Ret.)

This should be passed on and on and on.

And Let us never forget Hillary Clinton’s Comment
“What Difference Does It Make?”

And she wants to be our next president!
She should be sitting in prison right now!!!

And if there was a different party in the White House, she WOULD be in prison right now.  Come on people, the evidence is stacked up higher then a pile of shit has any right to expect through physics and the laws of nature!  Remember these terrible lies and horrible things these people have done when it comes time for reelection!  And every congressman and every senator who has remained silent should be cast into the jaws of purgatory with them!

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1385

  1. Concerning Reagan’s comment, he could have added succinctly, “And the result is the same.”

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