Thursday September 22nd marked Mabon or as you folks who don’t observe or honor the old ways know it, the Autumnal Equinox a.k.a. the beginning of the Fall Season.

LOL yes, it was also the 2 day warning until my Birthday. I’d like to thank all of you who wished me well &/or sent cards to make the day special.

However that period (Mabon to my Birthday) also marks something else that we here on the Gulf consider a very important annual calendar milestone. It signifies the end of Hurricane Season. Sure there have been a few late season hurricanes occurring, after this point but with temps cooling off and so too the water cooling off the chance go much slimmer with each passing day.

It’s also the time of year I miss the most in New England, the crisp morning air, the brightly colored leaves, the misty fog swirling over the lakes at dawn, fresh apple cider from road side stands obtained on long rides to view the scenic fall foliage, the smell and heat of wood stoves, burrowing under that extra blanket and sleeping in on a cold blustery and rainy fall morning.  Also there are the Duck and Canadian Geese migrations which while stunningly spectacular to behold never used to fail to contribute to my larder. Sneaking off for a long weekend with friends in a broken down but lovingly cared for Winnebago to go up to Oswego NY and fish for Salmon in the tail race of the Owego Nuclear Power plant as they made their way up to spawn along with Brown Trout and Steelhead.

Here in Texas fall means…absolutely nothing. Temps will still be in the high 80s to low 90s for at least another month to six weeks. IF we’re lucky we might see a five degree decrease in our night time temps take place around 3 to 5 AM before the mercury starts climbing again which will translate to one less AC cycle in the day. No for us fall doesn’t come until mid to late November and translates to temps in the low to mid 70’s during the day and high 50s to low 60s at night. I’ll be hunting deer in nylon pants tucked into my boots, a  t-shirt and a floppy hat toting my Mini 14 and a 3 liter camel back from blind to blind.

Well ‘tis a fairly full issue we’re facing so best we fall right to it eh? [You see what I did there Impish? Now that is how you do a segue!]

 

 

 

 

 

 

And thus has it been since the invention of the window, see here:

Last week we talked about how I was worried I was acting as an enabler for Ninja Kitty Clan Mistress SC and her newly found coffee addiction. Well truth be told she already has another addiction and that one is entirely Molly and my fault.

See when I first saw SC she was about 6 to 9 months old and had lived in the apartment kitty corner above us. The guy was a real SOB (lets just say next to him I looked like Mr. Rodgers) and when he left in the middle of the night he just tossed her outside and left her.

I happened across her one morning taking the trash to the dumpster hiding in some fern stuff planted around the base of a tree next to our walkway when she was hiding and trying to sleep in the heat. She was friendly but obvious very scared, mistrustful of men and of my great size. (this persists to this day). I left some food and water out where she could see me put it for her but she wouldn’t approach it if I was out or even inside standing in the window watching.

When Molly saw her she wanted to adopt her. We already had one cat and could not afford the deposit at the time for a second which our lease allowed for. The complex was over run with strays and even ferals so I was able to strike a deal with the Property Manager once she learned the origin of this stray to adopt SC and pay for her vet bills instead of another animal security deposit.

This is where the addiction comes in. SC was far more friendly to Molly than to me but still wouldn’t get within arms reach of Molly. Plus we were pretty sure there was a large male cat who was using SC to get us to put out food then driving SC off so he could eat it. So I ate tuna in spring water sandwiches everyday for lunch for roughly 10 days and saving the tuna water.  When Molly came home from work she’d change, soak a slice of bread and a little dry cat food in the tuna water then go out and show it to SC. Molly would bring it back to the area in front of our apartment and sit on our welcome mat about 10 feet away from the dish. SC starving would come and eat warily licking every last trace of tuna water from the plate while Molly spoke to her in low soft friendly tones. Mean while I laid on the floor in our bedroom with the window cracked and snipped the big feral male who would hiss at and charge the two of them in an attempt to claim the food for himself with a high pressure super soaker full of lemon water.

Each two day Molly would move the plate just a wee bit closer to her so that SC would get gradually use to her close proximity. Soon the plate was within arms reach and Molly was able to briefly pet SC who though still skittish seemed to enjoy it very much. Eventually SC would be waiting for Molly to reappear with the plate and would eat from the plate while being petted right next to Molly. Then one day once the plate was empty SC climbed into Molly lap and began purring and rubbing all over her to mark her. This went on for several days before Molly was finally able to hold her. The problem was the feral male was getting madder and madder that he wasn’t getting his way or the food. He began making the front of our apartment, the tires of our SUV and even chased Molly one night when she took trash out until she smacked him with the heavy bag. The Super Soaker had range limitations and the stream wasn’t exactly fast so he became adept at avoiding and dodging it and I was forced up up my game to an airsoft gun and bark rounds around him in close proximity to keep him away.

This lead to a discussion between Molly and I about the wisdom vs. dangers of doing a snatch and grab on SC and getting her inside with us and away from the feral we had named ‘The Bully’. Molly agreed we needed to do it soon but was afraid an unsuccessful attempt would set us back seriously to curtail things totally. Fortunately that wound up not being an issue. The next time SC climbed into Molly lap and she picked her up she nestled down in Molly’s arm and made it plain she was there for the long haul. After petting her nearly to sleep Molly simply used the door behind her and her legs to stand up and opened the door, walked inside, and took SC right into the guest bathroom which had been ready to receive her for several days.

Well about a week later on a rather blustery Saturday we decided the soup and tuna melts sounded like a good lunch. The moment I opened the tuna SC began meowing and carrying on. Generally she avoided or tolerated me but still wasn’t coming close unless she was in Molly’s arm and then only briefly. That day she was on me like my shadow banging her head into the back of my leg, pawing at my jeans, jumping up on the table to yell at me. We were stunned at this behavior. Then it dawned on me what it was she wanted. Tuna water. She missed tuna water on bread! The second she got it she quieted down. She has since indoctrinated Chai into her circle of tuna water addicted felines.

Well since then our Vet has said that a little occasionally is ok but there is probably too much sodium in it to make it a good idea too often. Last Saturday we decided on salads fro lunch as we had a lot of greens that needed to be used up. Molly went the Chef’s Salad route while I opted for Tuna and Chopped Hard boiled egg on mine. I drained the tuna into a plastic container and added some chunks of dried bread I was going to make bread crumbs out of since the cats object to whole grain bread which was all we had. I brought my salad to my desk where I ate it while hard at work on this issue until I heard a strange noise out in the kitchen which sounded like plastic falling and bouncing on the floor.

I got up and crept out carefully as such noises usually mean Ninja Kitty involvement. Fortunately my phone as a quick access to the camera function from the lock screen because this is what I found:

That’s the plastic container I had drained the tuna water into and soaked the bread in which had been sitting in the sink awaiting washing after lunch.

You left out “one of the beautiful people” there Impish!

Fall equinox 2016: 5 things to know about the start of autumn

Summer is officially over. Thursday brought the autumnal equinox and the first day of fall for those in the Northern Hemisphere.

Are you ready for fall to begin? Here are a few things to know about the changing of the season.

1. The equinox happened at the same moment worldwide.

(National Weather Service)Leigh Morgan

That moment was at 9:21 a.m. CDT Thursday, Sept. 22. But it also happened simultaneously all over the world.

At that moment the sun was directly over the equator.

According to NASA at an equinox the Earth’s terminator, or the line that divides day and night, becomes vertical and connects the north and south poles.

Because Earth doesn’t orbit upright, but is instead tilted on its axis by 23.5 degrees, the Northern and Southern Hemispheres trade places in receiving the sun’s light and warmth most directly, according to EarthSky.org.

Twice a year – in the spring and fall – the tilt of the Earth’s axis and Earth’s orbit around the sun combine in such a way that the axis is inclined neither away from nor toward the sun.

Those times, the equinoxes, fall on March 20 or 21 and Sept. 22 or 23.

2. Fall has already started in some circles

While astronomical fall is marked by the autumnal equinox, Sept. 1 was the beginning of meteorological fall.

Meteorologists use 3-month blocks of time to measure the seasons. Fall is made up of September, October and November. Winter starts in December, spring in March and summer in June.

The 3-month increments fall closer to the annual temperature cycle, make it easier to tabulate data and mesh better with the civil calendar.

Astronomical seasons vary in length from 89 to 93 days, while the meteorological seasons range from 90 to 92 days.

3. Day and night are not exactly equal on the day of the equinox — it’s closer on what’s called the equilux.

Ralph Crewe, with the Carnegie Science Center, told the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette that equilux means “equal light” and generally occurs a couple of days after the equinox.

Geoff Chester with the U.S. Naval Observatory told National Geographic that exactly when the equilux occurs “depends on where you are located on the surface of the Earth.”

For instance, in Miami it will be on Sept. 27. In Seattle it will be on Sept. 25.

Find the day length and sunrise and sunset times for your area here.

4. The sun sets faster near the time of the equinox

According to EarthSky.org, the year’s fastest sunsets and sunrises happen around the time of the spring and fall equinoxes.

And the slowest sunrises and sunsets happen around the solstices.

How and why? Near the time of an equinox the sun rises due east and sets due west.

According to EarthSky, that means that the “setting sun hits the horizon at the steepest possible angle.”

Compare that with the angle during a solstice. The sun sets either the farthest north or the farthest south of due west, making it a shallower angle.

That adds up to a longer duration for sunset at solstice times.

The duration of sunsets from equinox to solstice only varies by less than a minute, however.

5. The sun rises due east and sets due west on equinox days.

(NASA photo)

The day of an equinox is a good day for finding due east and due west from your yard or other favorite site for watching the sky, according to EarthSky.org.

Just go outside around sunset or sunrise and notice the location of the sun on the horizon with respect to familiar landmarks.

From time to time the Ninja Kitties receive applications to join the Clan. These are largely ignored unless they are accompanied by proof that the applicant has some extraordinary talent worthy of Clan membership. Pictured here is a recently accepted applicant with his apparently impressive to the clan proof of his capabilities. His new clan name as I understand it will be Klepto.

Yes I told an Irish joke. Anything to keep Impish from telling them. His ‘Irish Accent’ that he insists on telling them in is HORRIBLE! Sounds like a drunken Welshman with a head cold trying to couch up hairball while wearing an overly small codpiece.

Sound advice for being around a certain dragon I know as well!

They say one of the first things college is supposed to teach you is how to identify your priorities and deal with them. I’d say this store is certainly helping with that.

I scargasm incredibly easily and am in fact multiple scargasmic, especially around liberals and politicians.

Handy for Election time and Presidential Debates too!

Impish’s breakfast bacon order- which he has with only 1 egg in an effort to help keep his cholesterol down.

Looks just like many a bike I’ve ridden in Ireland

Sinister ‘Clowns’ Are Scaring People In Multiple States

Suspicious clown sightings have been reported in multiple states.

[Photos provided by Lethal]

This may be your worst nightmare: Reports are emerging from multiple states of alarming interactions with people in clown clothing.

First, residents of Greenville, S.C., reported last month that suspicious clowns were attempting to lure children into the woods. The property manager of the Fleetwood Manor apartment, where many of the sightings happened, sent a letter to residents warning that “at no time should a child be alone at night, or walking in the roads or wooded areas at night,” according to local television station WHNS.

Up to this point, law enforcement officials have not uncovered any evidence — “not even a prankster in a clown suit” — as The Associated Press reported.

Since the report in Greenville, sightings of sinister “clowns” have emerged around the country. As the AP reported, “people in Alabama, Georgia, Maryland, North Carolina and now, Pennsylvania have reported scary or suspicious encounters with people dressed like clowns.” Last night, Kentucky joined the growing list.

Here are a few examples:

 

Alabama: At least nine people “identifying themselves as clowns” have been arrested and charged in Alabama in just over a week, according to AL.com:

“Seven, including two adults and five juveniles, face felony charges of making a terrorist threat. One juvenile faces a child in need of supervision charge. And the other, also a juvenile, faces a misdemeanor harassing communications charge from an incident in Rainbow City.”

 

 

Pennsylvania: State police have received reports of clown sightings in multiple counties, as PennLive.com reported earlier this week.

The AP reports one such incident near Pottsville, which Pottsville Police Chief Richard Wojciechowsky characterized as a prank: “ ‘Two knuckleheads with clown-like clothes on’ hopped out of a pickup truck and yelled at a group of young children and teenagers.”

Police are also investigating an incident in Ebensburg, where a woman reported a clown peeping in through her window.

PennLive.com reports that police also believe some other social media reports of suspicious clowns are actually false.

Kentucky: On Friday, police arrested a man “dressed as a clown lurking in a wooded area” in the small town of Middlesboro, as the BBC reported. Jonathan Martin, 20, “was charged with wearing a mask in a public place and disorderly conduct,” after police found him “crouching among trees by an apartment complex.”

The recent rash of clown-related reports has prompted the nearby Barbourville Police Department to advise people against dressing like a clown: “Dressing as a clown and driving, walking or standing in public can create a dangerous situation for you and others,” it said in a Facebook post. “Please refrain from this unnecessary activity.”

North Carolina: Earlier this month, Greensboro police responded to a complaint about a clown emerging from the woods, just days after the South Carolina incidents. The person was “wearing a scary clown mask, red curly wig, yellow dotted shirt, blue clown pants and clown shoes” and a bystander wielding a machete chased the individual back into the woods, police said in a statement. They added that they searched but were not able to find the clown.

Police in Greensboro also advised people against copying the strange behavior “given the heightened tensions about these entertainers.” They acknowledge that it is “lawful to dress as a clown.”

It’s not clear why these reports are suddenly emerging. Police have said that they believe some are hoaxes. “Some speculators have put forth that the clowns may be a viral campaign — possibly for ’31,’ a new horror movie directed by Rob Zombie featuring homicidal carnival workers,” as The Washington Post reported.

A scary clown spotted loitering in Green Bay in August, holding four black balloons, turned out to be “a marketing ploy for a short horror film,” as the AP reported.

Meanwhile, working clowns are frustrated about the upsetting encounters.

David McCullough, who performs in Texas as Kornpop the Klown, told The Washington Post that he has “worked very hard all my life to be a person that kids and their parents respect and can look up to.”

Tricia Manuel, who runs a clown training camp in Minnesota, told The Associated Press that her business is hurting now. “When people report these things it should be ‘someone dressed like a clown,’ because a real clown would never dress or do anything to scare anyone,” she said. “In South Carolina, two of the clowns were afraid to go out and perform.”

So people its time for you all to stop clowning around and take the craft seriously! There are enough people already whom are creep’d out by regular clowns. We don’t need people to start blasting away at jerks in clown suits causing trouble because I swear to god I’ll go postal if I have to endure a ‘Clown’s Lives Matter’ whine-athon!!

So no more clowning around with clowns got it? Well ok just this ONE last time…see this is what Impish is going to encounter in the Little Dragons Executive  Sandbox in his favorite stall at 3Am this morning when he makes his wee hours of the morning wee trip:

What? If he’d gone for the damned cardiac stress test the FMCA, FAA, our insurance company and his own Veterinarian wanted him to have I would never [<= fib font] have even thought to resort to this.

 

I showed you my official driftwood chair of state a few weeks back. Previous to that I had you enjoy the view from the bluffs behind my Leprechonia State Residence where I like to take my breakfast. Since breakfast often winds up being a working one, it was decided I needed some version of ‘the big chair out there as well. Here’s a picture of the roughed out result.

Yes we do have some seriously talented craftsmen and woman in the Leprechonian Isles. Here are a couple other examples of their fine works.

Start of what will eventually be a mermaid on the front of a ceremonial canoe carved from a large piece of drift wood.

As you can see I’m still trying out personal chefs. The cooking to be honest is all about the same but exploring their presentations skills has been a lot of fun

A Leprechonian Border Guard hard at work on patrol as well as her tan.

This is the ILS Mac Lir, my newest ship and the first acquisition of the Leprechonian Naval Forces. It serves much the same purposes as the Presidential yacht the U.S.S. Sequoia used to before Carter had it decommissioned  and sold it off in 1977. Think of it as my floating (well part of the time anyhow) go anywhere Camp David. Here is another picture of her docked-

Good Morning Campers!

Well, it’s been a week!

By the time you guys are reading this, I’m probably on the way back to my lair.  But, before we really get going with this issue and the important things we need to talk about and laugh about, I want to tell you about a special event going on today.

Okay, you guys with the cake, you be careful of those candles!  There’s so damn many of them that we have the fire department standing by.  Okay, so put it down on the table.  Good.
Ginny is bringing Lethal down here and he doesn’t know why.
There he is!  Now, everyone together:
♪Happy Birthday to you!♫
♫Happy Birthday to you!♪
♪Happy Birthday dear Lethal♫
♫Happy Birthday to you oo oo oo!♪

♪♫♪And many mooooooooorrrrreeeeee!!!♫♪♫

Ahem, sorry about that last part.  Can you get some medical attention for those people in the first row there who are bleeding from their ears?

Anyway, today is my buddy’s birthday.  He has been like a brother to me, above and beyond the fact that we are brothers in arms, we are brothers, and more importantly friends, in so many other ways.

I know you said you stopped celebrating birthdays a while back, but I still want you to know that I am not going to stop remembering it and I’ll bet that you’ll get a bunch of comments and a bunch of emails wishing you a happy day.

So, you heard me fellow campers, don’t make me out to be a liar, I know you all hope he has a great birthday, but don’t just think it, post it!

Have a fantastic day, my brother, and many, many more happy returns.

That really reminds me of a story that happened to me when I was a young airman in the Air Force and my oldest daughter was very young, like 2 years old. 

Now that I’ve kinda set the stage I have to say one more thing.  Even though I put a warning at the top, I’m going to give you another warning right here. The adult content involves a horrible word that I have never before put into print in this blog.  You’ll see it soon enough.

While doing something in the house, this little girl comes up to me and says, “Daddy, have you seen my cunt?”

Well, the shock was so overwhelming that I didn’t respond fast enough and she continued, “It was black and white and soft and furry.  I can’t find it.”

Well, we talked back and forth for several minutes and we (I had called her mother in the room since she was normally better at translating than I was) had no idea what she was trying to say.

Well, this went on for several weeks.  She would ask us if we found it and we couldn’t get anything more out of her other than that it was “soft and furry”.  She would say things like, “I miss my cunt.” and “I’ve been looking for my cunt and I can’t find it.” Always in this soft, little girl who just learned how to talk voice.

So, one day she had a doctor’s appointment and it was a base doctor who she was seeing like we used to be able to as active duty military members. I’m in my uniform in this overly crowded pediatrica doctor’s waiting room.  She’s sitting on my lap as most of the other children were since it was so crowded.  Now, as a “two-stripper” I was probably the lowest ranking guy there, so I’m surrounded by senior NCOs, officers of all ranks, wives of who knew what rank their husbands were and … well … you get the picture.

So I very quietly told her to jump down off my lap and go over to the book shelf and bring back a book she’d like me to read to her.  She comes back with a book of pictures of animals.  I said her back on my lap and we started to go quietly through the book. 

I’d say, “What’s this?” and point to a picture and she’d tell me what it was.  A lot of the time she would say a humorous word that she thought was correct and anyone who could over-hear her would chuckle.  For instance, she would say something like palligator and mean caterpillar.  (Yeah, I would thought it was for alligator, but it was for caterpillar.)

So, I turn a page and all of a sudden she screams out into this quiet room, “THERE IT IS!  THERE’S MY CUNT!”

Needless to say, everything in the waiting room and behind the check-in desk comes to a screeching halt filled with female gasps and the male click of eyeballs as every NCO and Officer in the room stared lasers at me.

I did all that I could not to pass out dead right there.  My daughter, on the other hand, is going on and on in this cheerful, almost yelling, chant like voice, “It’s my cunt, I found my cunt, see daddy, there’s my cunt.”  And on like that.

I calmly said to her in a voice loud enough for everyone who was about to squash me but not yelling or chastising her, “No honey.  That’s a skunk…a skunk.”

I’m not sure if anyone laughed or not because I was too mortified to even breathe.

 

Okay, it’s time for our trivia question of the day.  Here goes.

Why A, B, C, D, DD , E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes?

You’ll get the answer, right after this cartoon break!a

If you have wondered why women’s bra sizes are letters, but couldn’t figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!
{A} Almost Boobs.
{B} Barely there.
{C} Can’t Complain.
{D} Dang!
{DD} Double dang!
{E} Enormous!
{F} Fake.
{G} Get a Reduction.
{H} Help me, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!

And now you know.

Monday morning in Wisconsin.  Gained an hour getting here and will lose one on the way home. 

Crappy night’s sleep.  It usually takes me about 3 days to get used to a hotel bed, but this was really bad.  Staying on base, in base lodging.  Dang!  I had to make my own bed!!  But, the price is right….free.

But then again, I could’ve stayed in a hotel in town (about 18 miles away) and it still would’ve been free…at least, for me.

Waking up this morning to more bombs in Elizabeth, NJ.  That’s where my grandma used to live.  So, the bastards are blowing up Seaside, damn near my home town in NJ.  I spent as much time there as I did my own home.  Then they blew up some in NY where I used to party and now Elizabeth, home town to my granny.

Shit!  Maybe it’s ME they’re looking for!

I gotta think about that some more.  No coffee!  I gotta drive about ten miles to get a cup of coffee.  I’m going to bet that they have some in class this morning, if not….it’s going to be a long day.

Coffee!! Coffee!!
It’s our Drink!
If we don’t get it,
We can’t think!!

One of my favorites.  Makes a great anniversary card or just a little picture to say, “I love you.”

I run entirely on coffee and inappropriate thoughts.

Okay, so I would never have the patience for this hobby (punishment?  torture?), but I am very intrigued by it.  Kind of like I love to read submarine novels, but am reasonably sure that I could never serve in one.  So, anyway, here is the dreaded Triple Spiral.

Definitely cool.

Yeah, so that one goes back a couple of weeks.  It was caught in a small volcano that erupted in my computerized store room of pictures and political potash for the issue.  But, when you look at the cartoon and realize that is probably EXACTLY happened when Loretta Lynch was “summoned” to speak to BILL the Great and Powerful. 

So, here’s another cool video that I enjoyed.  I learned a lot from it too.

 

So, Tuesday morning.  It’s 230am and I’ve been up since 1.  I’m going to have to try and get back to sleep.  I hate trying to get used to a new bed.  And these are beds in name only.  The guy sleeping on the  cardboard box in the park probably got a better night’s sleep than I did.

Sigh.

And we didn’t get a chance to blow up ANYTHING yesterday!

It ain’t right.

How about that.  That’s the same criteria that Lethal and I use.

Since Halloween is getting so close, I can’t help but put in some pictures from last year’s Halloween Party.  This is a husband and wife team from the front offices in their customs posing for pictures.  No one could figure out how that black cloud kept forming behind him whenever he wanted it to.

I’m not saying I don’t like you, I’m just saying that I would unplug your life support to make a pot of coffee.

So, I managed to get another 2 hours sleep.  I’m not on the hunt for a cuppa!  Next time I remember to bring my own coffee maker if I’m going to survive here at Volk Field.

 

Okay, so here’s a GREAT video that my brother, the Owl sent to me.  The write-up is from the website

Syrian rebel accidentally blows himself up after taking ‘selfie’ with phone rigged with explosives

A video showing a Syrian rebel blowing himself and his fellow freedom fighters up after taking a selfie with a phone rigged with explosives is going viral.

The 29 second footage shows several Syrian freedom fighters gathered in a room in front of two rifles, one of them speaking into a microphone.

Nineteen seconds into the video, one man can be seen lifting a phone as if he was about to take a selfie, then — BOOM!

As the dust settles, the men in the room can be heard shouting “Allah Akbar,” which means “God is great” in Arabic.

Watch the video below:
And here, courtesy of YouTube, is the video:

I’m thinking this just might be one of the Ninja Kitties, Tech Division.  I could be wrong there, though.

Ain’t that the truth.  Talk about a law that has no teeth!

For our anniversary I took my wife out to a swanky restaurant, no expense spared.

We had champagne, lobster, croquets, quiche, the works.

Afterwards, over brandies, she smiled seductively and said, “When we get home I’m going to do that special thing for you that you like more than anything else in the world.”

“Forget that,” I said. “I couldn’t eat spaghetti bolognese after all this.”

So, with everything that’s going on this morning and the way the politicians are all putting their own spin on them, this is the perfect time to throw some mud of our own.

You gotta love these “Who Wore It Better” pictures.  That woman will wear ANYTHING!

I’m going with Kirby on this one.

And both of those statements are equally truthful.

I loved Father Guido Sarducci on Saturday Night Live.  This routine is from 1980 and it’s called: Life Is A Job.

There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.

Only a fraction of people will find this funny.

See!!!  It’s there attitude!  And I’m not sure, I mean, I can’t prove that it’s true, but they have meetings … either weekly or monthly … and they teach their younger ones all these nasty tricks!

I used to have a dog like that.  But nowadays, isn’t that what we do when we go to the grocery store to get milk and return with 3 bags of groceries?

President Obama arrived in China for an economic summit over the weekend where he met with China’s president Xi Jing-Ping and with China’s cabinet members. It was long overdue. Obama’s been the President of the United States for almost eight years, it’s about time he met with the owners. 

So it’s Wednesday evening and last night’s sleep was the worst yet.  I’ve hit my three days now and I’m hoping, with the help of a little alcohol, that I’ll be able to get a decent night’s sleep tonight.

Still haven’t had a chance to blow anything up yet and I’m highly disappointed and a bit bewildered.  I asked one of the four instructors if we were EVER going to get to blow anything up?  His response?

“Huh?  What do you mean?”

I said, “Well, this is an explosive safety class, shouldn’t we be learning how to set off explosives safely?”

He didn’t really answer right away, he just kinda looked at me with this dumbstruck look on his face and then said, “Oh.  Ha, Ha, Ha.  Funny.  I get it.”

And then he walked off.

Like I wasn’t serious or something.

Guess I’ll just have to get with one of the other instructors tomorrow.  Better be quick, we only have two days of class left.

I get that one, too.

Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress, were chatting about their relationships and decided they needed to spice up their love lives.

All three agreed to wear black leather bras, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes that evening with their respective lovers.

As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said: ‘What’s for dinner, Batman?‘”

And I’m pretty sure that’s when she killed him.

This is a complete and total disgrace!  If this doesn’t motivate you to vote Republican then I just don’t know …..

She’s sure to make some member of the Zombie Apocalypse Response Team (Z.A.R.T.) a fine wife.

Well, it’s finally Friday morning and after another really crappy night’s sleep I’ll be very glad to finish class, get some sleep and head home.  It’s been a long week.

I truly enjoy the fact that I get to travel occasionally in my job, but, like most people, I’m ready to go home after the last day.  I’ll come back after class and let you know how the day went.  Until then, how about a couple more laffs?

Ginny sends us out these Health Capsules and most I find interesting and at least one has caused me to change something in my life.  Now this one, on the other hand…I get the very strong impression that there is a joke in there somewhere.

Maybe I need more coffee.

A Muslim, a Jew, a Christian, and an Atheist all walk in to a coffee shop… and they talk and they laugh and they drink coffee and become good friends.
It’s not a joke.
It’s what happens when you’re not an asshole.

Hey!  Wait a damn minute! I just realized that when people in their 20’s talk about “old people” they’re talking about us!!

Well…..class got out a little early, so I decided to drive home on Friday, ran into 4 or 5 major traffic jams and wished several times I had waited until Saturday.  But, it’s now very late, and I am home and safe and I’m going to close this and post it now.

Thanks for spending the week with me dear campers.

Cheers

Impish Dragon

Yuppers folks that’s an old Underwood Manual Typewriter you see next to my Bushmill’s Black Bush there. Drive big brother (and Impish) crazy when I use it because it totally thwarts cyber spying. Besides it looks darn nice on my antique roll top desk.

Actually it’s the latest on retro keyboard conversions which I just finished assembling for someone. You take an actual working typewriter, add on the parts from the conversion kit and TA-A! You now have a dual functioning typewriter and Bluetooth enabled keyboard for your computer tablet or smartphone. Turn the Bluetooth off, and you can use the typewriter as a normal typewriter but have the option of recording what you type to an SD card as a text file. Pretty neat, especially if your into Steampunk or ‘old school’ decorating your home office

As you can see from the right side of the photo I’m still entrenched in paperwork. I hoping with Impish gone for a week I’ll have all the peace and quiet I need to finally catch it all up.

 

So for a while now in the mornings Ninja Cat Clan Mistress SC has been getting up on the chair beside mine at the table and investigation my coffee cup. I had thought this was due to our switching to 1/2 & 1/2 for our coffee since we were constantly pouring out of date milk down the drain. I’ve been dipping the tip of a finger into my coffee and allowing her to lick it off as a way of getting rid of her (ever try arguing with a cat who is sure she’s interested and wants some of something you have but will not share?)

Think I’m kidding? Here’s a couple photos from a day when she didn’t get any of my coffee because we got to sleep in and basically got up in time for lunch. Of course I had coffee but I had it with a splash of Bailey’s which SC detests.

Turns out I may have been helping to create another caffeine dependent little monster in my house as Chai already goes bananas when I open a fresh can of coffee to blend brown gold. She insists on sniffing the cans and having the ‘coffee dust’ from one of the cans rubbed into her fur (she prefers her nip this way as well) so she can go find some cat hidey-hole to lick it all out of her fur then.

Speaking of Coffee (a.k.a. Nectar of the Gods) I’ve some sobering news about it-

A coffee shortage is looming — here’s how soon it could be extinct

Coffee is more than just the crucial beverage that makes it easier to face the workday. It provides comfort, culture, and is an essential source of the caffeine that Harvard neuroscientist Charles Czeisler says makes modern life possible. 

But the global coffee supply is currently at risk, with shortages already starting to affect the world.

A full half of the world’s area that’s deemed suitable for growing coffee will be lost by 2050 if climate change remains unchecked, according to a new report from The Climate Institute of Australia.

By 2080, the report estimates that wild coffee (which helps us find genetic varietals that might be more resistant to climate stress) could go extinct.

Coffee shortages that make it harder to get good coffee and that hurt the livelihoods of 25 million coffee farmers around the globe are already having an effect, and it’s not just environmental research groups that are concerned about future access to coffee. Advisors for corporate giants like Starbucks and Lavazza agree.

“We have a cloud hovering over our head. It’s dramatically serious,” Mario Cerutti, Green Coffee and Corporate Relations Partner at Lavazza, said at a hospitality conference in Italy in 2015.

“Climate change can have a significant adverse effect in the short term,” he said. “It’s no longer about the future; it’s the present.”

What’s happening to coffee?

People drink more than 2.25 billion cups of coffee each and every day. The coffee industry is a major one, producing the second most valuable export for developing countries. But the better and more commonly grown type of coffee, Coffea Arabica, can only thrive in very specific conditions. For now, that means tropical highlands around the globe, from Central America and Brazil to Indonesia, Vietnam, and East Africa, its place of origin.

But a warming world and extreme weather, including both heavy rains and drought, are making it harder to grow coffee in these regions, according to the report. Temperature and heavy rain have helped a fungus called Coffee Leaf Rust spread through Central America and into South America, destroying crops. Pests like the Coffee Berry Borer are spreading for the same reasons. Drought in Brazil cut coffee production by around 30% in 2014 in Minas Gerais, a major coffee region.

Even a half a degree of temperature change can make a region that used to be a coffee gold mine unsuitable. Moving production to higher altitudes is not always feasible and can be especially difficult for the small farmers that make up 80-90% of coffee growers.

By 2050, half of currently suitable land will no longer be suitable, unless the world can limit warming to the 1.5-2 degree Celsius rise that was set as a goal at the 2016 Paris Climate Agreement, and really, even 1.5 degrees is pushing it for most farmers.

It’s not a completely hopeless scenario — cutting emissions and limiting warming to 1.5 degrees would make a big difference, both for individual coffee lovers and for the 120 million people who make a living from the coffee supply chain. Buying coffee from groups that provide fair incomes to farmers can help those communities adapt.

But this is a serious situation and one worth paying attention to now, before problems get worse down the line.

As Starbucks sustainability director Jim Hanna told The Guardian in 2011 — five years ago — it’s urgent.

“If we sit by and wait until the impacts of climate change are so severe that is impacting our supply chain then that puts us at a greater risk,” he said. “From a business perspective we really need to address this now, and to look five, 10, and 20 years down the road.”

SEE ALSO: I went to the source of the world’s best coffee — and saw firsthand why the industry is in trouble

Every time someone shows up for a visit from the Martian side of the Leprechaun Family tree there’s always a big ta-do over their vehicle parking!

Just like Molly! She called me from the car the other day right outside the house because there was ‘a bug’ on the outside of her car window. When I got out there it was so small she had to call my attention to it by putting a pen on the other side of the glass from it because she wasn’t putting her finger that close to a bug.

 

[I believe if memory serves I was served a cooked version of something similar to this and this is in fact some form of ‘Giant Prawn’. Going to have to think about aqua farming some of these in Crab  Cay. I can see Impish with one stuck in his nose now can’t you? If this is what they are referring to in Australia when they say ‘put another shrimp on the barbee’, I can see why you only need one per person!]

That’s as frightening as waking to find the Burger King hovering over your bed with breakfast! Well at least for everyone except for Impish, he’s been demanding that level of service from BK for years now.

[ THAT folks is a Giant Sturgeon, you know the caviar making machine. YES you are exactly right it DOES look like its armored with hard plates, mainly because it is. Can you imagine how desperate they first guy who thought about fighting one of these killing it and eating it must have been? NO WONDER he even ate the eggs! ]

[ OK so this last one might have actually belonged in a Darwin Awards feature but it’s going to be a while before I run one of those. Besides, HELLS NO I ain’t doing that! ]

Just this morning, wife called.

She was crying.

She said sorry to me.

While crying she also said she will never fight with me.

She will always listen to me.

She will do whatever I tell her to do.

I was overwhelmed listening to all this.

Don’t know whose wife she was.

It was wrong number but felt very good!

I’ll freely admit this has happened to me in the past (I think marriage cures this syndrome the second you say ‘I do?’). Though my mind did a detour to the other head and I think they both went snorkeling in the gutter. In my defense, this is a close approximation of the dress I was confronted by except hers was Jade Green to match her eyes. She had natural Auburn hair that hung to the middle of her back,  always smelled of Lavender and Heather and had the most mischievous mirthful sparkling eyes.

Guys, be honest now, where did your mind take unauthorized leave to the second that photo registered?

It gets worse too. Judging by the smell coming from that water, that’s Shit Creek that poor SOB is up too.

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE AN IDIOT…

Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree. Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby.

“Gentlemen,” the Devil started… “Due to the fact that Heaven is now overcrowded, St. Peter has agreed to limit the number of people entering Heaven. If anyone of you can ask me a question which I don’t know or cannot answer, then you’re worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, then you’ll come with me to Hell.” 

The philosopher then stepped up, “OK, give me the most comprehensive report on Socrates’ teachings.”

With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct. “Then, go to Hell!”  With another snap of his finger, the philosopher disappeared.

The mathematician then asked… “Give me the most complicated formula ever theorized!” With a snap of his finger, another stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The mathematician read it and reluctantly agreed it was correct. “Then, go to Hell!” with another snap of his finger, the mathematician disappeared too.

The idiot then stepped forward and said, “Bring me a chair!” The Devil brought forward a chair. “Drill 7 holes on the seat.” The Devil did just that. The idiot then sat on the chair and let out a very loud fart. Standing up, he asked, “Which hole did my fart come out from?”

The Devil inspected the seat and said, “The third hole from the right.” “Wrong,” said the idiot, “it’s from my asshole.” And the idiot went to heaven.

SPEAKING of assholes, idiots and devils,that reminds me, it time for another of our ‘We’re not paranoid because its true.” series called…

New law change could allow mass surveillance by government

By Mark Jones, Komando.com

Are you frightened by the thought of your own government spying on you? Your personal information was secretly tapped for the National Security Agency by telecommunications companies for years. In fact, billions of emails and other private communications have been scanned and read by the NSA for decades.

The U.S. government uses spying techniques to try and prevent terrorism and cyberattacks. Skeptics worry that these techniques could be reverse-engineered and used against the government or innocent Americans. The loss of personal privacy is another issue government spying brings to light.

Now, there is a plan in place that would dramatically expand the government’s hacking and surveillance authority. A rule change would give the FBI authority to use malware to hack into an unlimited number of computers.

Rule 41 of the Federal Rules of Criminal Procedure puts limits on how the FBI obtains electronic search warrants for computer networks. Currently, a federal judge can only authorize the FBI to install malware on computers that they suspect are being used for criminal activity. The computer also has to be located within the judge’s jurisdiction.

Changes to Rule 41 would remove those limitations. Basically making it legal for the government to hack anyone. These changes will go into effect on December 1st, unless Congress acts to stop them.

At this time, no congressional hearings on the rule changes are scheduled. However, a bipartisan effort in the Senate is reportedly underway to change that.

Miserable rotten prick! His ‘ spelling aid’ always made me say things I didn’t Nintendo!

Yeah like that methane explosion in the little dragons room when Impish lit up that cigar… I swear that was the shittiest take off I’ve ever seen him make!

A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two young people show up. One is a good looking guy in his twenties and the other is a gorgeous blonde about the same age.

The circus owner tells them, “I’m not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you both better be good or you’re history. Here’s your equipment – a chair, a whip, and a gun. Who wants to try out first?”

The girl says, “I’ll go first.” She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion’s cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her, so she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks,

sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her ankles. He continues to lick her calves, kisses them, and then rests his head at her feet.

The circus owner’s mouth is on the floor. He remarks, “I’ve never seen a display like that in my life.” He then turns to the young man and asks, “Can you top that?”

“No problem,” replies the young man, “just get that lion out of the way.”

OK I’ll confess Molly has the same problem with me and our home office, though mostly relating to coffee cups

Funyuns rock! So do onion rings, onion blossoms and fried onion straws!

I wasn’t planning on any recipes for this issue but after all those food jokes I figured I had to put a couple in.

Orange Brownies

 

These no-chocolate brownies are so delicious—like taking a bite of sunshine. Orange lovers go crazy for these

 

 

 

Orange Brownies

Prep: 10 min | Level: Easy | Cook: 30 min | Serves: 24

Ingredients

FOR THE BROWNIES:

1 cup Unsalted Butter, Softened
1-½ cup Granulated Sugar
4 whole Large Eggs
2 teaspoons Pure Orange Extract
1 whole Large Orange, Zested (reserve 1 Teaspoon Zest For Glaze)
1-½ cup All-purpose Flour
1 teaspoon Salt

FOR THE GLAZE:

1 cup Confectioners Sugar
2 Tablespoons Orange Juice
1 teaspoon Grated Orange Zest

Preparation

For the brownies:

Preheat oven to 350 F. Line a 13x9x2-inch baking pan with foil, extending the foil over
the edges. Spray the foil with non-stick cooking spray. Set the pan aside.

In a mixing bowl using an electric mixer, cream the butter and sugar until light and
fluffy. Add the eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in the orange
extract and orange zest.

In another bowl, whisk together the flour and salt. Add this into the creamed mixture
and beat until combined.

Spread the batter evenly into the prepared pan. Bake at 350 F for 25-30 minutes, or
until light golden brown and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

Remove from oven and immediately pierce the entire top of the brownies with a fork.
A meat fork works great for this.

For the glaze:

Combine the confectioners’ sugar, orange juice and the reserved orange
zest in a small bowl, stirring until smooth. Pour the glaze evenly over the warm
brownies. Cool completely before cutting.

Using the excess foil, lift the brownies from the pan to a cutting board. Peel the foil
away from the sides of the bars and cut into squares.

This 3-in-1 Magic Cake Will Blow Your Mind

Prep time: 20 min | Cook time: 50 min

Total time: 1 hour 10 min | Serves: 9 – 12

One simple batter turns into a 3 layered cake with a top layer of sponge, a middle layer of custard and a fudge-like base. It’s like….magic!

Ingredients

1 Strawberries, Fresh
4 Eggs, yolks, whites
3/4 cup All purpose flour, plain
1 Icing sugar
3/4 cup Sugar
1 tsp. Vanilla extract
1 Whipped cream
1 stick Butter, unsalted
2 cups Milk

To Serve (optional)

• Icing sugar (powdered sugar), for dusting
• Fresh strawberries
• Whipped cream

Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 325F/160C.
2. Butter a 8″ x 8″ / 20cm x 20cm square cake tin.
3. Beat egg whites with a mixer until stiff peaks form. Set aside.
4. Place the egg yolks and sugar in a bowl and beat until it turns pale yellow – about 1 minute.
5. Add the vanilla extract and butter and beat until well incorporated – about 30 seconds to 1 minute.
6. Add the flour and beat until just combined.
7. Pour the milk in slowly while beating, and beat until well combined (or if using a hand held mixer, add ¼ milk at a time, beating in between).
8. Use a spatula to fold in the egg whites in the batter, one third at a time, until just incorporated. You don’t want to knock the air out of the egg whites. Don’t worry if there are a few egg white lumps in the batter. The batter should be very thin, almost like a thick pouring cream.
9. Pour the batter into the prepared cake tin.

Baking Directions

1. Bake until the top is golden brown and the cake does not “jiggle” when you gently shake the tin – around 40 to 50 minutes. Check the cake at 30 minutes – if the top is already golden brown but the cake is not yet set (i.e. it jiggles), cover loosely with foil and return to the oven, 10 minutes at a time, until set.
2. Allow to cool in the tin for 10 minutes, then turn out onto a cooling rack.(Note 3) Cool completely before serving.

To Serve

1. Cut into squares – I cut it into 12 in the photo, but 9 is more realistic serving size portions.
2. Dust with icing sugar just before serving.
3. Serve with a side of whipped cream and strawberries, if using.

Notes

1. Australia vs. US vs. UK measurements – I made this recipe 5 times. 3 of the 5 times, I weighed the ingredients, once I used Australian cups and once I used US cups. I couldn’t tell the difference in the end result.

2. The baking time for this cake will differ depending on the oven. Of the 5 times I made this cake, the bake time differed by 15 minutes. Once it was 40 minutes, 3 times it was 50 minutes and once it was 55 minutes.

The safest way to get the baking time right is to follow these directions:
a) The cake is ready when the top is golden brown and the cake doesn’t “jiggle” when you gently shake the pan. If it jiggles, there is still raw batter inside.
b) I found that 4 of the 5 times I made it, the top became golden brown before the cake was set.
c) So to get the bake time right, check it first at 30 minutes. If the top is golden brown, cover loosely with foil and return to the oven until the cake is set. Check every 10 minutes – any longer, and you’ll risk the cake overcooking.

3. To get the cake out of the tin, just turn it out like a normal cake. The custard is set, it is not like super soft jelly. What I do is place a cutting board on top of the tin, flip it upside down (it slips right out) then place a cooling rack on top then flip it again (so you end up with the right side up on the cooling rack).

OK that is probably all the desserts Ginny can sit for and to be fair I didn’t post a warning so time to move on to something savory.

Chicken Seasoning Blend

This dry mix of herbs and spices adds a unique zing to any chicken dish, it has just the right amount of heat and flavor to make all your guests beg for more. Don’t be scared by the long list, most of it is spices you will probably have in your cupboard. Note, it also gives chili a great flavor without adding too much heat.

Ingredients

1 1/2 teaspoons sea salt
1 teaspoon dried basil
1 teaspoon crushed dried rosemary
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon dry mustard powder
1/2 teaspoon paprika
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/2 teaspoon ground dried thyme
1/4 teaspoon celery seed
1/4 teaspoon dried parsley
1/8 teaspoon ground cumin
1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/8 teaspoon chicken bouillon granules

Directions

1. Mix the salt, basil, rosemary, garlic powder, mustard, paprika, black pepper, thyme, celery seed, parsley, cumin, cayenne pepper, and chicken bouillon together until blended.

Notes:

I also add a 1/2 teaspoon of onion powder to mine and prefer using the Knorr Tomato & Chicken bullion granules as it makes for a darker richer gravy from the pan drippings

Works well on pork or as seasoning in burgers/ meatloaf too

I use boneless skinless chicken breasts or thighs when I can so a light brushing with Olive Oil helps the seasoning stick.

Brush and season both sides place in a 9 x 13” pan. Add a 1/2 cup of your choice of water, beer, white wine and bake at 325 to 350 until done.

Leave out the chicken bullion granules and you’ve got a decent seasoning for grilled veg too.

Brush both sides with Olive Olive season lightly and grill until desired doneness is reached.

 

South Texas man has one of the best obituaries ever

Imagine Ron Swanson if he was the “best concrete contractor in all of Texas”

A man named Howard Wayne Neal from the tiny town of Lolita near Victoria has one of the best obituaries of the year.

Neal, 74, died on Sept. 11 and the obituary placed in the Victoria Advocate last week evokes equal parts Ron Swanson and Charles Bukowski.

Howard Neal

HOWARD WAYNE NEAL

LOLITA – Wayne Neal has exited his rickety old body, having lived twice as long as he expected and way longer then he deserved. He passed on September 11, 2016, at 74 years old. He often wished in his later years that he had not treated his body like a Tavern.

Wayne never met a man he didn’t want to Indian leg wrestle, or play mercy with. Mainly because he was an ornery ole bastard

He was a modest man who very seldom bragged about all of his treasures on Facebook. By the Way, who the hell taught him about Facebook?

He was considered the best concrete contractor in all of Texas, and if you ever doubted him, you could ask anyone that endured the hours of one more and we will call it a night at Wayne’s Hurricane Bar.

Proceeded in death by his wife Carolyn (mainly because she had enough of his shenanigans), son Christopher Wayne Neal, mother Irene, father Harold, brother Jim, and sister Candy.

He is survived by his favorite son Buddy and another kid, some grandchildren, a few more great grandchildren, a trilogy of brothers, and one sister.

He had a passion for old cars, scotch, his construction company, scotch, travel, and oh yeah scotch. Did we mention scotch?

He will be missed by many and remembered by all who knew him.

Funeral service will be held on Saturday, September 17, 2016 at 2:00 p.m. in the Oaklawn Funeral Home Chapel in Edna. Burial to follow in the Lolita Cemetery in Lolita. Jim Munro will be officiating.

Texas woman’s obit lists cause of death as ‘2016 presidential campaign’

In Memory of  Elene Meyer Davis

October 7, 1924 – June 7, 2016

Elene Meyer Davis was born in Yoakum, Texas on the 7th of October 1924, and died on the 7th of June 2016, of complications due to congestive heart failure and the 2016 Presidential campaign.
Elene was Salutatorian of her class at Yoakum High School, schooled in life and politics at the knee of her father, Marcell A. Meyer, who was a Jeffersonian Democrat, a highly independent thinker, a lumberman who rode fifty miles a day on horseback, with a shotgun in his saddle in the logging camps of south Louisiana, and who later founded and operated the Woodring-Meyer Lumber Company and Tex-Tan Leather company in Yoakum. She graduated from The University of Texas at Austin at the age of 19 and was pleased that her children and some of her grandchildren followed in her footsteps there.

Elene’s mother, Myrtle Levy Meyer, was the descendant of early settlers of the State of Louisiana. Her great-grandfather, Lazarus Levy, was a member of the Prussian Brigade from Louisiana and was wounded during the Civil War at The Battle of Shiloh in 1862, at the time, the bloodiest battle in American history. The favorite niece of Henri Bendel, Myrtle taught Elene about art and design, more than a smattering of French and German, a love of travel, and the value of gardening, sewing and cooking well, all of which Elene undertook with enthusiasm and great success. One day Elene decided to start growing roses. By the next day, after she had bought more than 100 bushes and enlisted her husband Leon to help plant them, he quipped in all his years as an entrepreneur he had never before seen a hobby turn into an industry so quickly. In no time, Elene became a well-known Rosarian.

Until her death, Elene honored an obligation to preserve her family’s Southern legacy, personally undertaking the restoration of the Jewish Cemetery in Lafayette, Louisiana and maintaining her membership in the Jefferson Davis Chapter of the Daughters of the Confederacy. A student of history, she felt strongly that political correctness was an excuse to erase facts and history and she deplored the misinformed, the ill-informed and the mal-informed and thus made no apologies for the Truth, which she demanded from her children and others at all times.

Seems even dying is done bigger in Texas! I guess I’d better start giving serious thought to my obit. Lord only knows what will get said if Impish writes it!

Richardson Adventure Farm in Spring Grove, Illinois is known for having the World’s Largest Corn Maze. This year’s corn maze theme celebrates the 50^th anniversary of Star Trek. If twisting and turning through 10 miles of maze isn’t enough, how about climbing the observation tower, bouncing around on giant jumping pillows, cheering on a pig race, or soaring through the air on a zip line?

Blumenthal, DeLauro in New Haven: 9/11 families should have right to sue foreign governments

NEW HAVEN >> As people across Connecticut and around the country remembered those killed on Sept. 11, 2001, two of the state’s federal lawmakers called on the president to sign legislation that could allow victims’ families to sue foreign governments that might have had a role in the attacks.

Speaking near the federal courthouse in New Haven, U.S. Sen. Richard Blumenthal and U.S. Rep. Rosa DeLauro said President Barack Obama should sign the legislation to bring some closure to the families of nearly 3,000 people killed in the attacks.

“They broke our hearts but they did not break our ideals of justice and fairness,” said Blumenthal, D-Conn. “That is what these families are seeking.”

Blumenthal and DeLauro, D-3, were joined by Brett and Gail Eagleson, the son and wife of Bruce Eagleson of Middlefield, who died in the attacks.

Bruce Eagleson, 53, who was killed while helping his employees evacuate from the south tower of the World Trade Center, was one of 161 people with Connecticut ties to die in the attacks.

“He saved lives, (he was) an incredible human being,” DeLauro said. “(He was) a husband, a father, a great boss and a friend. In saving lives, he lost his own.”

Brett Eagleson said it is important to the family to have a court rule on whether foreign governments, such as that of Saudi Arabia, were culpable for the attack.

“It’s always been about accountability,” said Brett Eagleson, who lives in Middletown. “We want the truth, we want justice and we want accountability.”

The U.S. House approved the Justice Against Sponsors of Terrorism Act in a voice vote Friday; the U.S. Senate unanimously passed the legislation in May. But the Obama administration has signaled it might veto the measure on concerns the legislation could open the United States to lawsuits from other countries.

“To now hear that all our hard work is going to be threatened by a potential veto is a kick in the stomach to 2,996 (families of) victims of terrorism on American soil,” Brett Eagleson said. “There is no excuse for a veto.”

Both Blumenthal and DeLauro vowed to fight to override the president. Blumenthal said he was “very confident” Congress could muster the votes to overcome a veto and he said he would lead the Senate effort.

“I hope he will be on the right side of this issue and the right side of history and make sure these families receive justice,” he said.

Gail Eagleson, who still lives in Middlefield, said she wants the same opportunity that any family member of a murder victim would get. “Anyone who has had a loved one murdered would want to find out who did it and hold them accountable,” she said.

Fifteen of the 19 hijackers involved in the attacks in New York, Washington and Pennsylvania were Saudi nationals. In July, Congress released 28 pages from a report on the attacks, which renewed interest in potential Saudi government involvement in the hijackings.

Both Blumenthal and DeLauro dismissed the possibility the United States could be sued by people in other countries. “That is a myth,” Blumenthal said. “It would not increase the liability of the United States. The United States does not sponsor acts of terrorism in other countries and the courts of law in other countries could not hold the United States responsible for acts that it does not do.”

Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates have voiced strong objections to the lawsuit legislation. Blumenthal and DeLauro both said potential strain on diplomatic relations with the two countries should not be an impediment to the bill.

“We need to fight for these families like the Eaglesons who have lost so much and who have not been able to pursue justice,” DeLauro said. “That pursuit cannot be blocked by defense of diplomatic niceties.”

Blumenthal said he thinks the U.S. shouldn’t “kowtow” to the Saudis and that the United States should start to question whether Saudi Arabia should be an American ally.

“That attack was against our country,” Blumenthal said. “I don’t think we ought to spare any steps, especially when justice for our citizens is at stake.”

We don’t have to worry about lawsuit from other counties the Apologizer in Chief hands out I’m sorry for America’s behavior cash like it was Monopoly money.

The Saudis should be afraid after decades of their hypocritical appease both sides by looking the other way so much their heads resemble revolving doors behavior. Especially when it comes to ‘the Royal Family’ which is large enough to be a small 3rd world nation on its own (seriously who the hell ever heard of someone who was 183rd in line to the throne being considered and deferentially treated as royalty?).

They’re not worried about the money they might lose they are worried about being held accountable for their actions and the court of public opinion as they secretly ignore the goings on of the terrorist and those (including some the the extended to infinity practically) royal family’s funding of terrorism.

The behavior and attitude of the Saudis is best summed up by this clip from the West Wing. God bless C.J. Craig for telling it like it is.

West Wing 3:19 – Saudi Arabia

 

Good Morning Campers,

As you can see from the header, there is a road trip in my future.  Well, not really MY future, but the fantasy “human” world that I live in, that Lethal doesn’t like me spending time in.

But you know, my fantasy wife and children rely on my fantasy paycheck to keep a fantasy roof over their heads and fantasy food on their table, so sometimes, I just have to pretend and go to the “other” world and get things done.

It’s been a while since I’ve actually gone anywhere for any length of time for the fantasy Air Force that I work for.  I leave on Sunday (tomorrow) and I’ll be back next Saturday.  I’m attending an Explosive Safety Officer’s Course and I’m really excited about getting to blow some shit up!

Where am I going in my fantasy world?  I’m going to Volk Field right outside of Fort Douglas in Wisconsin.  It’s about a 7 hour drive and I’m checking out a government vehicle from the motor pool.  Except, it’s not called the motor pool anymore, now it’s vehicle dispatch.  Yeah, whatever.  I’m sure there’s some stupid politically correct reason why we don’t call it a motor pool anymore…maybe it’s offensive to motors to say they are as big as a pool….or maybe it’s offensive to pools to say they smell like a motor.  Who knows.  It’s pretty damn dumb, if you ask me.

They don’t even call them latrines anymore.  They’re restrooms.

Yeah, okay, sure.  Restrooms. 

Do any of you know ANYONE who has EVER rested in one?  No, me neither.

Anyway…

Where’s Volk Field?

Okay, any other questions?

Yes, you in the back?

No, I have no idea what the square root of pi is.  Sheesh!

Anyway, it’s been a while since you guys have heard from me, so this issue is jam-packed full of stuff.  And I could probably fill an issue twice as big.  How?  Because I am so dang far behind in EVERYTHING that as of this instant (730 pm on Thursday night)  I have 533 unopened emails.

533!

So, the lesson for today is two-fold.  Number one, don’t EVER let yourself get behind because it’s almost impossible to get caught up again and B) if you’ve sent me something and I haven’t gotten back to you or published it or something like that….now you know why.

So, let’s get started knocking some of this outta here!

Amen!  That is from the Nordic Brotherhood, but as far as I’m concerned it’s from the Mythical, Magical, Fictional Brotherhood as well!

Although I think this joke is funny (yes, it is!  Are we going to go through this again?  It’s a JOKE.  Lighten up!) For a lot of us men, you can also remember that Men Understand more than you might assume.  We just can’t seem to get the initiative up to make us give a damn.

 

Do you know why nobody has ever overdosed on marijuana?

Because if you laid out one-hundred joints and a lighter, and told someone to try and smoke them all…

By about the fourth joint, they’ve already lost the lighter, ordered a pizza, cuddled with their dog and fell fast asleep…peacefully…painlessly…

And they didn’t wake up with a hangover.

And just another example of male ingenuity. 

 

I recently was digging through some old photo albums and came across this one from the day I was born.

Dang!  Wasn’t I cute?  Geez, what the heck happened?

I think that last cartoon was an artist’s rendition of … me.

This next one could actually be called a “Golden Oldie” since it has been around before.  But, those of you who know some of my own personal rules for what goes in Dragon Laffs and what doesn’t make it might remember that the primary rule is that I must not have heard it before and it has to, at the very least, amuse me.

There are exceptions to the rule (since the rules are mine, I make the exceptions) and one is that if it is a really funny joke.

This one is a really funny joke.

Yeah, that one should have probably come with a “Groaner” warning.  Sorry.

I put my scale in the bathroom corner, and that’s where that bastard will stay until he apologizes!

 

This is what I imagine it is like for Lethal as he leaves his island country of Leprechaunia.  I know it’s not true, but in my mind, this is what I see.

Yeah, I have days like that, too.          A LOT!

Being rather bald, I comfort myself on a visit to the hairdresser with the opening gambit: “Grass doesn’t grow on a busy street.”

However, I was not prepared for the comeback of one of the barbers: “We always say, there’s no sense putting a roof on an empty barn.”

And it’s in a nice little “to-go” carrier.

“Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.” ~ Robert A. Heinlein

So, we here at DL&LL Enterprises gathered a bunch of kids in our daycare, yes, we have our own daycare for our employees.  Okay, let’s talk about that for a second.
We have our own daycare because we are of the belief that anything that  makes our folks happy will equate to more/better workers and work.  We also have things like free ice cream, our own pizza service, different areas they can set their work stations up in, like by the waterfall or near the rainforest.
Anyway, in the daycare, we not only have professionals who take care of the kids, some of the times some of the mythical/magical/fictional characters will stop in and play with the kids.
Well, this one time, we had a bunch of the kids answer some questions about marriage and this is what they come up with:

1.   HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports,  and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
—   Alan, age 10 I think Alan’s wife is going to have some issues with his expectations.

-No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.
—   Kristen, age   10 As has been said by smarter people than me, Kristen, you never really know who you marry until after the ceremony.

2.   WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET  MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person  FOREVER by then.
—   Camille, age 10  Well, at the age of ten, that’s more than twice FOREVER.

3.   HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE  MARRIED?
You  might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling  at the same kids.
—    Derrick, age  8 There is so much truth and sad honesty in this answer that it is very funny.

4.   WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN  COMMON?
Both don’t want any more kids.
—   Lori,  age  8

5.   WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
-Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
—   Lynnette, age   8   I’m sorry…what were you saying?

-On  the first date, they just tell each other lies and that  usually gets them interested enough to go for a second  date.
—    Martin, age  10   Martin, you have no idea.

6.   WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
-When  they’re rich.
—   Pam, age  7  Pam, I see a much older man in your future.

-The  law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn’t want to mess  with that.
—  Curt,  age    7

-The  rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should  marry them and have kids with them. It’s the right thing to  do.
—   Howard,  age 8   Absolutely.  Especially if you’ve, you know, already gone that far with them, and all.

7..   IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR  MARRIED?
It’s better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys  need someone to clean up after them.
—   Anita, age  9  Anita, you have no idea how quickly girls will stop cleaning up after the boys after they are married.

8.   HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN’T GET  MARRIED?
There  sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn’t there?
—   Kelvin, age  8   Yes, yes there certainly would.

And   the #1 Favorite  is  …….

9..   HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE  WORK?
Tell  your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck!
—   Ricky, age  10   ESPECIALLY if she looks like a dump truck!

Enjoy, here is a collection of notes left in milk bottles….
** Dear milkman: I’ve just had a baby, please leave another one.
**Please leave an extra pint of paralyzed milk.
**Cancel one pint after the day after today.
** Please don’t leave any more milk.  All they do is drink it
** Milkman, please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk.
**Milkman, please could I have a loaf but not bread today.
**Please cancel milk. I have nothing coming into the house but two sons on the dole.
** Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I’ve been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks.
**Sorry about yesterday’s note, I didn’t mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round.
**When you leave my milk please knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you to give me a hand to turn the mattress.
**Please knock. My TV’s broken down and I missed last night’s Coronation Street. If you saw it, will you tell me what happened over a cup of tea?
**My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle?
**Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbour told me.
**Please send me details about cheap milk as I am stagnant.
**Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it.
**From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don’t want any milk.
**My back door is open. Please put milk in ‘fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table in pence, because we want to play bingo tonight.
**Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday..
**Milkman, please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door.  PS  Don’t leave any milk.
**No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice.
Having lived in a little village in England for several years, I can tell you that all of those notes are not only true, but not out of the ordinary.  On hot days, our milkman would let himself in the house and put the milk in the fridge (along with bacon, ham, sausage and many other farm type staples).  Nobody locked their doors (to be honest, I don’t think I even had a key to the cottage I lived in) and it wasn’t unusual at all for us to come back to the house and find flowers on the table from the neighbor who thought we’d like them.

Different times, different places.

Yeah, it’s that time.  Let’s throw some mud and see what sticks.Yeah…accidently…how exactly do you commit suicide and put three bullets in your own head?
Yup.  That’s the way it is.
Just be careful you don’t end up committing suicide.
Seriously, can they really not see the correlation?
And one more…

 

1. The later you come home, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
2. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.
3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
4. A dog’s parents never visit.
5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
6. You never have to wait for a dog; they’re ready to go 24-hours a day and at a moment’s notice.
7. Dogs find you amusing when your drunk.
8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, “If I died, would you get another dog?”
10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad.  They just think it’s interesting.
13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
14. If a dog leaves, it won’t take half your stuff.

    To test this theory:
    Lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour.   Then open it and see who’s happy to see you!

An amazing story, that’s breaking as we write it!!!

MORE ELECTION COVERAGE 

Pneumonia Virus Terrified After Remembering What Clintons Capable Of

 

Little known fact: The ACME company featured in so many Coyote plans to catch the Road Runner is actually a subsidiary of DL & LL Enterprises.  Just sayin’.

 

I can definitely attest to that one.  It’s so crowded in my head, that they have to take turns speaking.

Yup.  And most people don’t realize that the most important piece 0f special equipment is your imagination.

Okay, so this video I found quite interesting.  If you’re too young, you may know who Bugs Bunny is, but you probably don’t know anything about him.  So here is, the Origins of Bugs Bunny.

Pretty cool, right?

God, this is so true it’s horrifying! 

And that, my friends, is, as they say, that.  It is not going to be long before I write to you again. 

As you enter the Conference Room you see the stage is literally strewn with folders documents and  papers. File boxes stacked off to one side presumably hold yet more paperwork awaiting floor space while handcarts with still more file boxes seem to be tagged with their destination awaiting their turn to be carted off  to what ever their fate is.

Lethal and Friday more down the walk ways left between the piles tablets in hand consulting paperwork and comparing between the two. More clerical staff stand ready to shuffle the papers as directed by the pair. Friday notices you all watching, smiles warmly at you causing the knees of a half dozen males to buckle as a result and gesture towards the seats. She nudges Lethal and points you out to him.

“Huh? What? Can’t be time for them already! I just saw them…oh yeah Saturday….the Special Remembrance Issue.” (Lethal’s voice cracks as he says the words Special Remembrance Issue and he pauses to blow his nose in a bright Orange handkerchief).

“Alright then. You know it amazes me, we missed one issue on Labor Day weekend, the end result of which was I wound up not authoring 2 regular issues (Impish did last Wednesday and the Special Issue), the rate at which things happen in these instances as opposed to other ‘normal’ (normal being an entirely relative term hereabouts) times.

There’s a lot in the issue today to cover as I try to catch up on topics crowding my Inbox as still more pour in. I suggest you grab something to nosh and sip and get to it. Mean time I’ll get back to trying to unbury my desk from this blizzard of paperwork before the next Special Issue comes along.”

 

Lets start with a photo from our Labor Day End of Summer Bash. Impish was off someplace scheming on how to get to Leprechonia, I had not yet popped in from Leprechonia and so here are Ginny  Diaman and an unknown trying to figure out the workings of one the the grills.

HILLARY CLINTON GOES TO A GIFTED-STUDENT PRIMARY SCHOOL IN NEW YORK TO TALK ABOUT THE WORLD. AFTER HER TALK SHE OFFERS QUESTION TIME. ONE LITTLE BOY PUTS UP HIS HAND. HILLARY ASKS HIM WHAT HIS NAME IS.

“KENNETH,” HE SAYS.

“AND WHAT IS YOUR QUESTION, KENNETH – ??” SHE ASKS.

“I HAVE THREE QUESTIONS,” HE SAYS.

“FIRST — WHATEVER HAPPENED IN BENGHAZI??”

“SECOND — WHY WOULD YOU RUN FOR PRESIDENT IF YOU ARE NOT CAPABLE OF  HANDLING TWO E-MAIL ACCOUNTS??

“AND, THIRD — WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE MISSING SIX BILLION DOLLARS WHILE YOU WERE SECRETARY OF STATE ??”

JUST THEN THE BELL RINGS FOR RECESS. HILLARY INFORMS THE KIDDIES THAT THEY WILL CONTINUE AFTER RECESS. WHEN THEY RESUME HILLARY SAYS,

“OKAY, WHERE WERE WE?? OH, THAT’S RIGHT, QUESTION TIME. WHO HAS A QUESTION ??”

A DIFFERENT BOY — LITTLE JOHNNY — PUTS HIS HAND UP.  HILLARY POINTS TO HIM AND ASKS HIM WHAT HIS NAME IS.

“JOHNNY,” HE SAYS.

“AND WHAT IS YOUR QUESTION, JOHNNY??” SHE ASKS.

“I HAVE FIVE QUESTIONS,” HE SAYS.

“FIRST — WHATEVER HAPPENED IN BENGHAZI??

“SECOND — WHY WOULD YOU RUN FOR PRESIDENT IF YOU ARE NOT CAPABLE OF HANDLING TWO E-MAIL ACCOUNTS??

“THIRD — WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE MISSING SIX BILLION DOLLARS WHILE YOU WERE SECRETARY OF STATE ??

“FOURTH — WHY DID THE RECESS BELL GO OFF 20 MINUTES EARLY??

“AND, FIFTH — WHERE THE HELL IS KENNETH??”

Alright all you droolers week kneed and those who never met a calorie you didn’t like start scrolling past right now or proceeded at your own peril, you have been forewarned.       This is an exceptionally dangerous issue for all of you.

Baileys Dark Chocolate Guinness Bread

“Rich and dark chocolate Guinness bread laced with chocolate chips and walnuts then frosted with a sweet Baileys glaze.”

I’ve baked with Guinness before, and though I prefer drinking the beer, it always makes for the perfect combination with chocolate – especially dark chocolate.

Makes: 1loaf | Prep Time: 10minutes | Cook Time: 55minutes

 

Ingredients

Dark Chocolate Guinness Bread

1 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. white pepper
1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
1/2 cup walnuts chopped
1/2 cup unsalted butter softened
1/2 cup brown sugar packed
1 egg
1 cup Guinness

Baileys Glaze

1 1/4 cup powdered sugar
2 tbsp. Baileys
2 tsp. half and half cream

Instructions

For the Dark Chocolate Guinness Bread

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Spray a 9×5 pan with baking spray.

2. In a large bowl, sift together flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, salt, and white pepper. Set aside.

3. Using a stand mixer (or hand mixer + large bowl), beat butter and brown sugar until fluffy, about 3 minutes. Scrape the edges of the bowl, then mix in egg. Add beer and mix for 30 seconds, just enough to break apart butter mixture into the beer.

4. Slowly add dry ingredients in with the wet ingredients, mixing gently in between. When all dry ingredients have been added, mix until just combined, when dry ingredients are no longer visible.

5. Gently fold in chocolate chips and walnuts, then pour batter into prepared loaf pan.

6. Bake for 45-55 minutes or until a tester comes out clean with a few moist crumbs.

7. Let bread cool in the pan for 10 minutes, then remove from pan and transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.

For the Baileys Glaze

1. In a small bowl, whisk together powdered sugar, Baileys, and cream.

2. If you’d like the frosting to be thinner, add a small splash of baileys until desired consistency is reached. If you’d like the frosting to be thicker, add 1 tbsp. powdered sugar at a time until frosting is thick enough.

Putting it All Together

1. Once bread has cooled, drizzle Baileys glaze on top of bread.

2. Bread can be stored in a sealed container and kept on the counter for up to 5 days.

Don’t worry folks, its not T-storming Texas style outside, the rumble wasn’t distant thunder, nor was  thud a thunder clap, Rather those were (in order) Impish’s gut rumbling and the result of Ginny’s knees failing. The rain sound you hear is Impish rapidly filling the drool barrel I had fastened around his neck before the issue started.

Triple Chocolate Banana Bread

OK someone start the pump on Impish’s drool barrel please he’s about to go into overdrive on drool production.

I’ll admit I’m being slightly unfair to the blue one. See Impish and I live for banana bread. We’re Banana Bread Snobs, Connoisseurs, Gourmands. We live for the stuff. Exchange ideas. Compare test and contrast every recipe we run across and judge it up against our personal closely guarded ones.

Day old, lightly toasted so its slightly crisped and brown on the outside, yet still soft and warm on the inside with a wee bit of butter melted across it, this might well even surpass a full on Irish breakie for early morning perfection with a nice cuppa. It sure as hell raises afternoon tea to an entirely new level.

 

This easy banana bread is outrageously chocolaty with three kinds of chocolate that go into the recipe. It’s a perfect twist of the regular banana bread that is for sure to please all the chocolate lovers out there!

Prep time: 10 min | Cook time: 60 min

Total time: 1 hr. 10 min | Serves: 6-8 servings

 

 

Ingredients

• For the Banana Bread
• 1½ cups flour
• ½ cup cocoa powder
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• ½ teaspoon baking powder
• ½ cup melted butter
• ¼ cup brown sugar
• ½ cup white sugar
• 2 eggs
• 3 medium bananas, mashed
• ½ cup chocolate chips
• For the Chocolate Glaze
• ¼ cup whipping cream
• 2 tablespoons brown sugar, packed
• 1 teaspoon butter
• ½ teaspoon vanilla
• 6 tablespoons chocolate chips
• 2-3 tablespoons warm milk
• 1 teaspoon instant coffee granules

Instructions

1. For the Banana Bread
2. Preheat oven to 175 C/ 350 F degrees.
3. Line a 9×5 inch loaf pan with parchment paper.
4. Mix flour, cocoa powder, baking soda and baking powder in a medium bowl. Set aside.
5. Combine the melted butter and sugars until incorporated. Mix in the eggs and mashed bananas. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients, mix until just combined. Add the chocolate chips and mix until incorporated.
6. Bake 50-60 minutes.
7. For The Chocolate Glaze
8. Heat whipping cream and brown sugar in a small saucepan over medium heat until brown sugar has dissolved and tiny bubbles start to form on the edges. Stir in vanilla and butter until melted and turn off heat. Dissolve the instant coffee granules into the warm milk, and add this mixture to the saucepan. Add chocolate chips but do not stir, and let sit for 1-2 minutes.
9. Mix the chocolate chips until fully incorporated. Cool completely and drizzle over bread.

No-Bake Chocolate-Pretzel-Peanut Butter Squares

It’s footballs season again. I know this because after 12 PM on the weekend Molly barely says 2 words to me unless it’s “When are you feeding me? I’m watching 3 games here.”

Unless you’re tailgating before the game at the stadium football requires munchies to watch, it’s an unwritten rule.

 

Total Time: 1 hr. 17 min
Prep: 16 min
Inactive: 1 hr.
Cook: 1 min
Yield: 10 to 12 servings
Level: Easy

 

Ingredients

1 1/2 sticks (12 tablespoons) butter, melted
2 cups pretzel rods, crushed into crumbs
1 1/2 cups confectioners’ sugar
1 cup plus 1/4 cup smooth peanut butter
1 1/2 cups milk chocolate chips

Directions

In a medium bowl, add the melted butter, pretzel crumbs, confectioners’ sugar and 1 cup of the peanut butter and stir together until well combined. Press the mixture evenly into the bottom of an ungreased 9-by-13-by-2-inch baking dish. Combine the chocolate chips and the remaining 1/4 cup peanut butter in a microwave-safe bowl. Microwave in 30-second intervals, stirring in between, until the chocolate and peanut butter are melted and smooth; two intervals should be enough. Mix to blend, then spread over the peanut butter-pretzel layer.  [Force yourself to] Refrigerate for at least 1 hour before cutting into squares.

You might want to experiment with using Nutella in place of the Chocolate chips. I have not tried this as yet but it certainly seems doable.

Baked Ziti

Finally because man cannot live on baked goods alone (trust me Impish and I both have tried to) here is some actual food. Fast and easy to make with a salad and some garlic bread (popped in the oven when the Ziti comes out to sit) you can feed the whole family or a couch full of football watchers with ease.

 

Total Time: 1 hr. 45 min
Prep: 30 min
Inactive: 5 min
Cook: 1 hr. 10 min
Yield: 12 servings
Level: Easy

 

 

 

Ingredients

2 tablespoons olive oil
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 large onion, diced
1 pound ground beef
1 pound Italian sausage
Two 14.5-ounce cans tomato sauce or marinara sauce
One 28-ounce can whole tomatoes with juice
2 teaspoons Italian seasoning
1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 pound ziti
1 1/2 pounds mozzarella, grated
One 15-ounce tub whole-milk ricotta
1/2 cup grated Parmesan
2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley, plus more for sprinkling
2 eggs

Directions

Heat the olive oil in a pot over medium heat. Add the garlic and onions and sauté until starting to soften, 3 to 4 minutes. Add the ground beef and sausage and cook until browned. Drain off almost all of the fat, leaving a bit behind for flavor and moisture. Add the tomato sauce, tomatoes, Italian seasoning, red pepper flakes and some salt and pepper. Stir, bring to a simmer and simmer for 25 to 30 minutes. Remove 3 to 4 cups of the cooked sauce to a bowl to cool down.

Bring a large pot of water to a boil and add some salt. Cook the ziti until not quite al dente.

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.

In a bowl, mix 2 cups of the grated mozzarella, the ricotta, Parmesan, parsley, eggs and some salt and pepper. Stir together just a couple of times (do not mix completely).

Drain the pasta and rinse under cool water to stop the cooking and cool it down. Pour it into the bowl with the cheese mixture and toss to slightly combine (there should still be large lumps). Add the cooled reserved meat sauce and toss to combine.

Add half the coated pasta to a large casserole dish or lasagna dish. Spoon half of the remaining sauce over the top, then top with half the remaining mozzarella. Repeat with another layer of the coated pasta and the remaining sauce and mozzarella.

Bake until bubbling, about 20 minutes. Let stand 5 minutes before sprinkling with chopped parsley to serve.

Philly Cheesesteak Pizzas

Finally this one straddles the lines between game munchies, lunch and dinner.

It’s 3 of my favorite things when it comes to a meal, Easy, Fast and Tastes good!

 

Total Time: 25 min
Prep: 15 min
Cook: 10 min
Yield: 4 servings
Level: Easy

 

 

Ingredients

3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
1 small onion, halved and thinly sliced
1 Italian frying pepper, thinly sliced
1 clove garlic, minced
1 pound shaved or very thinly sliced beef
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley
Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper
4 whole-wheat pocketless pitas or prebaked individual-size pizza crusts
2 cups shredded Italian cheese blend, or a mix of shredded mozzarella, provolone and parmesan
1/2 cup pickled sliced sweet or hot cherry peppers

Directions

Preheat the broiler. Heat the olive oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add the onion and frying pepper and cook, stirring occasionally, until slightly softened, about 5 minutes. Add the garlic and beef and cook, stirring occasionally, until the beef begins to brown, about 3 minutes. Add the parsley, 3/4 teaspoon salt and 1/2 teaspoon pepper and cook, stirring, 1 more minute.

Meanwhile, line a baking sheet with foil. Place the pitas on the prepared baking sheet and sprinkle each with 1/4 cup cheese. Top evenly with the beef mixture and the remaining 1 cup cheese.

Broil the pizzas until the cheese melts, about 2 minutes. Top with the cherry peppers and cut each pizza into quarters.

Per serving: Calories 590; Fat 33 g (Saturated 13 g); Cholesterol 95 mg; Sodium 1,159 mg; Carbohydrate 32 g; Fiber 5 g; Protein 41 g.

Two tips:

1.) You can make this even faster to make by using jarred fired onions and peppers (I recommend Mancini brand if you can get them). Be sure to drain them well.

To drain I open the jar place a strainer over the top so it sits tight against the jar them invert over a bowl or the sink. I use the bowl if I want to save the now flavored oil for something else (it makes killer oven roasted potatoes or pan fried pork cutlets).

2.) If you cannot find ‘pocketless’ pitas you can get an Indian bread called Naan. Its basically the Indian flat bread version of pitas. Fewer people are familiar with them so the chances of finding them might be higher though you might have to scout the ethnic aisle, store bakery section or bread Aisle to locate them. Naan usually come round though I have seen and purchased rectangular ones.

Pepperidge Farms also makes something called a Deli Flat which comes presplit and each half would work well for making munchie sized version though you might need to keep a close eye on the baking time. Since these come in Whole Wheat and 7 Grain you can console yourself with the thought you’ve provided a semi healthy snack.

That would be what Impish and I looked like if we we dog and cat respectively. Begorrah! I’m still prettier than he is even as a cat!

Despite receiving a thorough examination and clean bill of health last year from Dr. Bardack, speculation about Clinton’s medical fitness has run rampant during the 2016 presidential campaign, with some sources claiming she suffers from seizures, others purporting to spot evidence of brain damage, and still others diagnosing her from afar with Parkinson’s disease. Opposing GOP candidate Donald Trump has played a major role in fomenting such speculation. – http://www.snopes.com/2016/09/11/hillary-clinton-medical-episode/

Lord knows during an election year the number one pass time of political pundits, reporters, conspiracy theorists and the population at large is speculation. Some of these speculations gain traction and morph from speculation into urban legend seemingly over night.

To wit: Many of you have sent me the following:

EXCLUSIVE REPORT: HILLARY CLINTON HAS PARKINSON’S DISEASE, DOCTOR CONFIRMS – YouTube

Sorry to bring the light or reason into your rampant speculation party but I’m throwing the flag again.

Shaky Diagnosis

A montage of photos and video clips of Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton purportedly demonstrates she has symptoms of Parkinson’s disease.

http://www.snopes.com/hillary-clinton-has-parkinsons-disease/

The entire article is quite lengthy and this issue looks to be a long one so I’ll not post it all here. Follow the link if you want to read why its all Grade A Heifer Dust. Besides, I haven’t given you my theory/take on the situation as yet (which IMHO is far easier to swallow, more plausible and probably closer to the truth.

See I think Hillary’s problem at Ground Zero was related to the fact that it was Ground Zero, which is now hallowed ground.

She simply could not stand being on hallowed ground consecrated by the blood of American lives which was brought about by liberal touchy-feelie/politically correct “love-everyone-invite-them-in-make-your-enemies-your-friends” policies.

I suspect if you took her to the US Diplomatic in Bengasi the site of a massacre of  2 US Diplomats or the site a scant few miles away where 10 CIA officers died and made her stand there for any length of time she’d probably be consumed in a pillar of holy fire.

AS DL/LL Enterprises resident Dr. of Quackery and all around Charlatan that’s my arm chair diagnosis and I’m sticking to it.

Some of you may recall that I had a commemorative marker installed in front of the pavilion on the picnic grounds back in 2014 to mark the occurrence an historical event. Here it is here:

Well after due deliberation, consultation with my opponent Impish, as well as a ruling by the judges, there will now be a second one placed beside it marking he occasion of Impish’s almost win against me in trying to get to Leprechonia. I felt since it was the closest he’s ever come to beating me (except for that one time I was unconscious thanks to drinking with Bacchus and Impish got away with locking me in the middens for 5 days) the feat was worth memorializing. So here is what the new marker will look like and say:

 

That’s likely the ONLY time you’ll ever see a woman happy about being told she’s fat!

Gene Wilder’s Best Moments on Film

 

Mel Brooks Misses Being Able to Call Gene Wilder

 

While we’re on the subject of missing people-

 

 

I strongly suspect the Ninja Kitty Clan of arranging this crash.

At least they are still hard at work!

Ah ha. I se Brutus has an apprentice now. Meet Snuggles the Souleater.

Well THAT explains a few things. Impish tired telling me he landed in a cactus patch after trying to pet a porcupine he’d accidentally rubbed the wrong way.

All I can say is it’s a good thing he wasn’t slow dancing with the owner of that bra!

 

On Black Athletes Refusing to Stand For the National Anthem

Let’s start off with a little background on the inciter of this debacle of Civil Protest, San Francisco 49er’s quarterback Colin Kaepernic. We all know whet he did and his alleged reasoning for doing it. However as much as his statement covers it seems there were other personal reasons that he kept silent on:

The Real Story On Why An NFL Quarterback Refused To Stand For The National Anthem

San Francisco 49er’s quarterback Colin Kaepernick, pictured above has a new ‘protest’…refusing to stand for America’s national anthem:

“I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color.”
“To me, this is bigger than football and it would be selfish on my part to look the other way. There are bodies in the street and people getting paid leave and getting away with murder.”

The 49er’s, of course, came out with an incredibly PC response to this:

“The national anthem is and always will be a special part of the pre-game ceremony. It is an opportunity to honor our country and reflect on the great liberties we are afforded as its citizens. In respecting such American principles as freedom of religion and freedom of expression, we recognize the right of an individual to choose and participate, or not, in our celebration of the national anthem.”

Now, the fact that ‘people of color’ have more rights under the law, more freedom and more economic opportunities in America than almost any other country on earth is something I suppose we can just ignore…Colin Kaepernick obviously has!

And I’m sure Colin Kaepernick’s adoptive family of Typical White People might not want to weigh in on this either.

But there’s a little more to the story that the media and the NFL will avoid at all costs, because it explains the real reason Mr.Kaepernick has suddenly come out with the idea of inflicting his agenda publicly on the fans. And the media and the NFL have no intention of it coming out if they can help it.

As the French wisely say, Cherchez la femme, look for the woman.

In this case, the woman is hip-hop radio personality DJ Nessa Diab.She’s a Berkeley grad, a very dogmatic outspoken Black Lives Matter advocate and a Muslim. She and Colin Kaepernick are engaged, and Kaepernick converted to Islam during the off season.
The two are reportedly planning what Kaepernick calls ‘a traditional Muslim wedding.’
Pretty simple…boy meets radical girl, they find they have interests and ideology in common…except,it’s haram, forbidden for a Muslima (a Muslim girl) to marry a non-believer.

[Funny, she certainly doesn’t dress anything like a devout radical Muslim woman!- L.L.]

This is not to say that Kaepernick wasn’t pretty far along the radical path anyway.

It’s a real love story…not only do they love the same things, but they can hate the same people too. There are certainly a fair amount of patriotic American Muslims, but many Muslims here follow the Qu’ran which says their first loyalty aside from Allah is to the umma, the worldwide Muslim polity. And no one with much common sense would call the folks at Black Lives Matter remotely patriotic. So it all fits together pretty well.

Another part of the back story is that both Kaepernick and Nessa Diab have been agitating the 49er’s to trade Kaepernick to New York, where Diab is based. Ideology aside, this might be Kaepernick’s way of adding some fuel to the fire.

The 49er’s have obviously made a business decision to keep Kaepernick on their roster and, with the collusion of the media, to keep this part of the story covered up. That’s fine, but it is a business decision. And although I have to admit that if I felt that way about America I’d vote with my principles and leave, Colin Kaepernick also certainly has the right not to honor the flag of the country that has treated him so well.

But football fans can also make a decision…like boycotting the 49er’s and any subsequent team they might trade Kaepernick to until he’s history. Now, that’s freedom too, isn’t it? Based on the 49er’s puerile statement, I’m sure they’d agree.

There are very few countries where Colin Kaepernick and his Muslima bride to be would be so blessed to earn a living and live in the lifestyle to which they are accustomed courtesy of the Red, White & Blue and while it is their right thanks to this great nation and those who fight to keep America the land of the free, one can only hope that some force out of their control will someday humble these ungrateful elitist fools.

Forgive me. I’m merely exercising my right to call them by that which they are.

Colin Kaepernick and the rest of his Klan pushing Black Lives Matter meme have no interest in making a difference. It’s all about them. Most rappers and Black professional sports players have no interest in reaching out to young men Black in urban America.
Of course, they’ll do a little something but again, it’s to soothe their ego.
I also suspect that Kaepernick has an ulterior motive like throwing the race card out there should he find himself cut from the team.

Timing as they say is everything.

A raised fist, more kneeling players as NFL anthem protest spreads

As is so often the case with a liberal making a personal protest statement Kapernick’s more self interest serving as opposed to political statement protest has garnered imitators demonstrating their ignorance of the true issues and problems in true monkey see- monkey do fashion.

Kansas City Chiefs cornerback Marcus Peters raised his fist and several Miami Dolphins players knelt during performances of the U.S. national anthem on Sunday, the latest gestures in the National Football League to draw attention to racial inequality.

The gesture on Sunday by Peters, 23, who is African-American, recalled the raised fist demonstration by black athletes Tommie Smith and John Carlos during their medal ceremony at the 1968 Olympic Games in Mexico City.

The other Chiefs players they decided to lock arms as a sign of solidarity after discussing the issue as a group.

“It was our goal to be unified as a team and to be respectful of everyone’s opinions, and the remembrance of 9/11,” the team said in a statement. “It’s our job as professional athletes to make a positive impact on our communities and to be proactive when change is needed.”

Seattle wide receiver Doug Baldwin, in a video he posted online announcing his team’s decision to link arms, said, “Progress can and will be made only if we stand together.”

Sunday’s games fell on the 15th anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks on the United States and many NFL teams commemorated the tragedy with special ceremonies.

Four Miami Dolphins players – Arian Foster, Jelani Jenkins, Michael Thomas, and Kenny Stills – knelt while the national anthem was played at their season opener against the Seahawks. On the other side of the field, the Seahawks locked arms while standing during the song.

Photos published online by Sports Illustrated showed Tennessee Titans players Jurrell Casey, Wesley Woodyard and Jason McCourty raising their fists ahead of their game against the Minnesota Vikings as well. It was not not clear whether the images were taken before, during or after the anthem however.

In Thursday’s NFL season opener, Denver Broncos linebacker Brandon Marshall had knelt during the anthem.

The protesting players have been seen as allies of the Black Lives Matter movement, which grew in response to a string of high-profile police killings of unarmed black people across the country. About two-thirds of NFL players are black.

The protests also have provoked anger in some fans who see the gesture as disrespecting the U.S. flag, the military and the nation in general.

Seriously I don’t see where this behavior comes as much of a shock, we have been fighting for the rights of the Blacks and oppressed since the Civil War and given them more opportunities and many white people get. Indeed some of the ‘equality’ programs and initiatives were technically discriminatory against whites. Black created for Blacks only Originations (I.e. the NAACP) are given a pass by the Federal Government on prosecution for Violating Federal Anti Discrimination Laws. Despite this all we ever get back is Ungratefulness, Racial Hatred, ‘Blackatutide’ and demands for more Entitlements so they don’t have to use all the mechanisms that we put in place to give them preferential treatment in the 60s, 70s and 80s by liberals.

In short they’re not interested in a hand up only in a hand out and protesting if they are expected to conform the the standards of the rest of society, especially with regards to law and order.

Taking a Stand by Refusing to Stand

Now this ‘it’s-all-about-me-doing-whatever-I-want-and-don’t-try-holding-me-accountable-for-my-action-either’ Black Lives Matter Blackatitude Bullshit and its wonton display of disrespect for America is spilling over onto the kids that these people are supposed to be providing a good example for and like good little indoctrinated liberal lemmings they’re drinking the Kool-Aid and following blindly right behind their self serving poster boy.

The debate over whether athletes should stand during the national anthem may have been kicked off this fall in the National Football League, but it has spread to the college ranks.

On Wednesday, three West Virginia University Institute of Technology volleyball players fell to their knees during the playing of the national anthem before a game. The players, all of whom are black women, said they were kneeling in solidarity with Colin Kaepernick, the NFL quarterback who set off a national debate for refusing to stand during the national anthem in protest of racial oppression and police brutality.

On Saturday, one football player from Indiana State University and one from the University of Tulsa knelt during the national anthem at games their teams were playing.

And on Friday, word spread that the chancellor of the University of Texas System (which has not seen instances of players not standing for the anthem) had distributed a memo urging — but not requiring — all athletes to stand and face the flag, with hands over their hearts, during the playing of the anthem.

The debate over the national anthem and athletes is part of a broader discussion of the appropriate role of college athletes in speaking out about political and social issues.

Athletes, Race and Protest

In the case of the college athletes who are not standing for the national anthem, all who have been identified are black, and the cause they are embracing is the fight against racism in American society. When black athletes — for example in the 1968 Olympics — have used their visibility to promote the fight against racism, they have been praised by many but also criticized by many, and faced ugly racist attacks in some circles.

The Protests and the Responses

Since Kaepernick started his protest, players’ decisions with regard to the anthem have received unusual scrutiny. A week ago, Bowling Green State University said that football players who appeared to be on their knees during the national anthem before a game against Ohio State University were actually praying.

The first confirmed case of college athletes declining to stand during the anthem was Wednesday’s women’s volleyball game at West Virginia University Institute of Technology. The students there said they wanted to support Kaepernick’s protest.

“He’s exercising his right to choose to sit or stand, so you have to recognize that he’s got that right,” Keyonna Morrow, one of the players and vice president of WVU Tech’s Black Student Union, told a local news station.

WVU Tech released this statement about the action by the students: “As an institution of higher learning, we encourage the free exchange of ideas among all our students, faculty and staff. We value everyone’s right to free speech. Even though there were differences of opinion among those in attendance at Wednesday’s volleyball game, our students were respectful of one other and their opinions. We are proud that our students can have civil conversations about difficult issues and concerns. They are a positive example of how we can hold different views and opinions while still engaging in constructive dialogue to gain new perspectives and understanding. The university will protect the rights of freedom of speech, expression, petition and peaceful assembly as set forth in the U.S. Constitution.”

 

While the Constitution does guarantee Freedom of Speech it unfortunately stops short of pointing out that with that right comes responsibility. The responsibility to weigh the appropriateness of venue and the timing of your exercising that right. Additionally that right is solely to Free Speech not one to Freely Disrespect as there protestors would have us believe.

In the USA Movie Stars, Athletes and others Notables are looked up to as icons and examples of what children and young adults should aspire to be. At least they were when I was growing up. Sure you had a few occasional bad apples (i.e. Pete Rose), but even those provided a teachable moment as and adult pointed out that while they had broken the faith and temporarily profited from it they were eventually caught and punished to the point the punishment far outweighed any profit they had gotten by going bad.

However in the last 10 to 20 years more and more of these heroes have morphed into zeroes. Sadly the fact that the values and behavior these people espouse is not something to be emulated is completely lost on the majority of the younger generations.

How sad it is that the biggest and best examples of the old school sports heroes/icons belongs to a sport that is has had to historically had to defend that label as being appropriate for it? I’m talking about Professional Wrestling,  John Cenna and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson.

Are there bad cops out there whom misuse their authority? Of a certainty. Every barrel has at least one bad apple and let’s be perfectly clear I’m quite sure there are just as many Black, Hispanic and Asian bad apples as there are White. Are the majority of police officers bad? No certainly not. Do Police officers tend to profile, pull up to a scene with preconceived notions and over all tend to act more aggressively when Blacks are involved as opposed to whites? Possibly, hell in certain areas of the country I’d even up that to probably.

However as Impish remarked to me the other day while we were discussing this:

“When you have 27% of the population committing 78% of the violent crime how is it not possible for there to be some level of  justified profiling going on?”

I would remind you that by and large its that same 27% that will do anything up to and including murdering police officers to avoid being held responsible for their actions.

Until the remainder of the Black Community wakes up to the fact that;

1.) ALL Lives Matter, not just Black lives (which considering the number of black on black violent crimes is apparently something that seriously escapes them) INCLUDING Police Officer’s Lives.

2.) Behavior such as Black Lives Matter protests and this kneeling during the National Anthem then hiding your true reasoning behind a façade of bullshit ceases has to end. IT’s not working to help alleviate the problem in fact, its making it worse, though this is hardly surprising when you consider it originated  from within the core problem group, that violence prone 27% who objected to not being able to get away with violence against police officers any longer.

3.) Despite all their unhappiness with the status quo all they need to do it take a good hard look at a few other countries and  just exactly how good and how restrained the majority of our Police are. I can tell you from first hand experience and observation that the Police Forces of Countries like Ireland, Denmark, Spain, Greece, Uruguay and South Korea would not put up with one quarter the bullshit out of these clowns that America Police do. The Police forces of Ireland, Denmark and Uruguay all carry machine guns. Machine guns not pistols, granted they are chambers from the 9mm pistol round as opposed to any caliber rifle round but its is still a machine gun that is strapped to the chest in the low ready position not slung over their shoulder which would the the rough equivalent of American Police with holstered pistol.

4.) That they need start educating their young that the behavior and actions of that violence prone 27% is not acceptable and that behaviors have consequences, preferably by pressuring the black community’s heroes and icons, such as Rappers who routinely glorify violence and the killing of Police in their lyric to change their behavior and message.

this situation will continue to be self perpetuating and hurt the Black community far far worse than it impacts any other.

“Teach Your Children”

You, who are on the road must have a code that you can live by.
And so become yourself because the past is just a good bye.
Teach your children well, their father’s hell did slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams, the one they pick’s the one you’ll know by.
Don’t you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.

And you, of tender years can’t know the fears that your elders grew by,
And so please help them with your youth, they seek the truth before they can die.
Teach your parents well, their children’s hell will slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams, the one they pick’s the one you’ll know by.
Don’t you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.