Dragon Laffs

Well my cyber snitches tell me you in the more Northern parts of New England have had your first frost. That means the leaves should be falling rapidly now as it’s already peak season over most of New England.

 

 

 

I have to be like this otherwise legal types start using bad words like ‘premeditated’ and ‘conspiracy’ with regards to me.

Be what the rest of us are Impish, be afraid…very afraid. Remember they are going to pick your ‘retirement home’.

Autumn in New England

 

Genuine 1964 WD-40 label

The Top 5 Songs by Aging Rock Stars

Bruce Springsteen is 67, Mick Jagger is 73,
Paul McCartney is 74, Ringo Starr is 76,
Little Richard is 83 and Chuck Berry is 89.

1. Eric Clapton: “Rogaine”
2. Led Zeppelin: “Stairlift to Heaven”
3. Gloria Estefan & Miami Sound Machine: “Arrhythmia Is Gonna Get You”
4. Willie Nelson: “On the John Again”

And the Number One Song by an Aging Rock Star…

1. The Who: “Bingo Wizard”

Ah you’ve just got to love Mrs. Dragon. Never at a lost for a witty comeback!

 

5 Snack Mixes to Bring to Your Next Tailgate

Tailgate, Football Party, Movie Night (“Netflix & Chill” is seriously underrated especially when teamed up with blanket cuddle and fireplace) or trail/camping/school lunch snack these variations of the standard party mix are sure to be a hit.

Pizza Party Mix

Ordering pizza delivery to your parking spot might be tricky, so Katie Lee’s Pizza Party Mix is the next-best thing. Baked Parmesan cheese crackers and pepperoni slices are the salty combination you’ll be craving. We promise you’ll need a second helping.

 

 

Total Time:  1 hr. 30 min
Prep: 10 min
Inactive: 15 min
Cook: 1 hr. 5 min
Yield: 10 to 12 servings
Level: Easy

 

Ingredients

3 cups rice cereal squares
3 cups corn cereal squares
3 cups wheat cereal squares
1 cup Parmesan or white Cheddar cheese crackers
1 cup pretzel sticks
2 ounces small pepperoni slices
6 tablespoons unsalted butter
2 tablespoons tomato paste
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon garlic salt
1 teaspoon oregano
3/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
1/2 cup finely grated Parmesan

Directions

Preheat the oven to 250 degrees F. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment.
In a large bowl, mix together the rice, corn and wheat cereal squares, cheese crackers, pretzel sticks and pepperoni slices.

Melt the butter a small pot over medium heat. Whisk in the tomato paste, Worcestershire, garlic salt, oregano, garlic powder and onion powder. Pour the mixture into the bowl with the dry ingredients and gently stir until everything is coated. Spread the mixture evenly on the prepared baking sheets.

Bake for 1 hour, stirring every 15 minutes (the pepperoni will get slightly crunchy). Let cool, then pour into a serving bowl and gently toss with the Parmesan. Serve at room temperature.

I like using the mini pepperoni (slices are about the diameter of a hot dog) for this as its more in keeping with the size of the other ingredients. I also recommend using the turkey kind as its substantially less greasy which translates in this case to less messy hands.

Chinese Take-Out Snack Mix

Dumplings and General Tso’s chicken aren’t exactly conventional tailgate food, but this snack mix brimming with the flavors of Chinese takeout will be a new tradition. Think of this mix as the chip version of your favorite noodle dish. This savory and addictive snack is perfect not just for game day but for road trips too.

 

Total Time: 40 min
Prep: 20 min
Cook: 20 min
Yield: 10 cups
Level: Easy

 

Ingredients

3 cups crisp rice cereal, such as Rice Chex (about 3 ounces)
3 cups dried snap peas (about 3 ounces)
2 cups crunchy chow mein noodles (about 4 ounces)
1 1/2 cups roasted and salted almonds (about 7 ounces)
1 1/2 cups sesame sticks (about 4 ounces)
4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) unsalted butter, melted
2 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons light brown sugar
1 tablespoon rice wine vinegar
2 cloves garlic, finely grated
1/2 teaspoon Chinese five-spice
Pinch red pepper flakes
Kosher salt
1 1/2 cups wasabi peas (about 6 ounces)

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Toss the rice cereal, snap peas, chow mein noodles, almonds and sesame sticks together in a large bowl. Whisk the butter, soy sauce, brown sugar, vinegar, garlic, five-spice, pepper flakes and 1/2 teaspoon salt in a separate bowl.

Pour the sauce over the snack mix and toss to coat well. Spread out on a rimmed baking sheet and bake until the mix is toasted and almost completely dry, 16 to 18 minutes, tossing about halfway through.

Remove from the oven and stir in the wasabi peas. Let cool completely, and then store in an airtight container for up to 3 days.

Chili-Garlic Snack Mix

This mix has all your kid’s favorites. (Think pretzels, Cheez-It crackers and Chex Mix.) You’ll coat them in a spicy chili-garlic butter and bake until crisp. The mix stays fresh in an airtight container for up to five days, so you can even make it ahead of time!

 

Total Time: 25 min
Prep: 10 min
Cook: 15 min
Yield: 6 to 8 servings
Level: Easy

 

Ingredients

2 tablespoons popcorn kernels
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
2 cups Chex (or other cereal squares)
2 cups Cheez-It crackers (or other mini cheddar crackers)
1 cup mini pretzel twists
1 cup smoked almonds
6 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 tablespoon chili powder
1 teaspoon smoked paprika
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
Kosher salt

Directions

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F and line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Heat 3 popcorn kernels and the vegetable oil in a large saucepan over medium heat until 1 kernel pops; add the remaining kernels, cover and cook, shaking the pan occasionally, until the popping subsides. Remove from the heat and transfer to a large bowl.

Add the cereal, crackers, pretzels and almonds; toss to combine. Melt the butter in a small saucepan over low heat. Stir in the chili powder, paprika and garlic powder. Drizzle over the popcorn mixture and toss with a rubber spatula to coat; season with salt.

Spread the snack mix on the prepared baking sheet. Bake, stirring once or twice, until lightly toasted, about 10 minutes. Let cool completely. Store in an airtight container for up to 5 days.

Strawberry-Pretzel Snack Mix

Sweet cereal, yogurt-covered pretzels and freeze-dried strawberries are balanced out with salty pretzel sticks and the warming flavors of brown sugar and cinnamon. Bring a tub to your next tailgate and pack the leftovers for school lunch — if you even have any!

 

Total Time: 25 min
Prep: 10 min
Cook: 15 min
Yield: 10 cups
Level: Easy

Ingredients

4 cups graham-flavored cereal
4 cups pretzel sticks, slightly broken
4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) unsalted butter, melted
2 tablespoons light brown sugar
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
2 cups yogurt-covered pretzels, broken into pieces
2 cups freeze-dried strawberries

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Toss the graham cereal and pretzel sticks together in a large bowl. Whisk the butter, brown sugar, vanilla and cinnamon in a separate bowl. Pour the sauce over the snack mix and toss to coat well. Spread out on a rimmed baking sheet and bake until the mix is toasted and almost completely dry, 10 to 15 minutes, tossing about halfway through.

Remove from the oven and let cool completely. Toss in the yogurt-covered pretzels and strawberries. Store in an airtight container for up to 3 days.

Brace yourselves ladies, I know the way to your hearts is through your sweet tooth so this one is aimed at you all. Someone lower Ginny’s chair to the supine position please.

Praline-Chocolate Snack Mix

You’ll find all kinds of flavor profiles in this salty, sweet and creamy snack mix. Cocoa Puffs add a chocolaty crunch your tailgating guests will love. Bake this mix the night before and pack it into bags once it’s cooled and you’ll be ready for game time.

 

Total Time: 40 min
Prep: 15 min
Cook: 25 min
Yield: 6 to 8 servings
Level: Easy

 

 

 

Ingredients

1 cup pecans, roughly chopped
2 cups Chex (or other cereal squares)
1 cup Cheerios (or other toasted oat cereal)
1 cup Cocoa Puffs (or other chocolate puffed cereal)
1 cup pretzel sticks
2 tablespoons popcorn kernels
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
1 stick unsalted butter, cut into pieces
3 tablespoons molasses
3 tablespoons light corn syrup
2 tablespoons heavy cream
Kosher salt
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1/4 cup confectioners’ sugar

Directions

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F and line a baking sheet with parchment paper. Lightly toast the pecans in a large saucepan over medium heat, about 5 minutes; transfer to a large bowl. Add the cereals and pretzels to the bowl and set aside.
Wipe out the saucepan. Add 3 popcorn kernels and the vegetable oil and heat over medium heat until 1 kernel pops; add the remaining kernels, cover and cook, shaking the pan occasionally, until the popping subsides. Remove from the heat and add to the cereal mixture; toss to combine.

Combine the butter, molasses, corn syrup, heavy cream and a pinch of salt in a medium saucepan and bring to a boil over medium heat, stirring occasionally. Cook, stirring, until the mixture is thick and pulls away from the side of the pan, about 5 minutes. Remove from the heat. Once the mixture stops bubbling, stir in the vanilla. Pour over the cereal-popcorn mixture, season with salt and toss with a rubber spatula to coat.

Spread the snack mix on the prepared baking sheet. Bake until the popcorn is crisp, about 15 minutes (the praline sauce will still be soft). Remove from the oven and use a flat metal spatula to flip the mix in large sections. Let cool completely. (The snack mix will harden as it cools.) Sprinkle with the confectioners’ sugar and gently toss to coat. Store in an airtight container for up to 5 days. [Like it’s really going to last 5 days!]

Ok as you know no sooner does one issue post then I am starting the next issue. Sometimes that’s actual writing other times that’s just collecting things under the issue banner. I wrote the following thoughts last Friday morning after two complete days of silence from a certain dragon on the subject of a certain recipe:

Ok last week I did Lasagna Soup as you may recall,  While Ginny practically had to wear a Depends around her neck all week as a drool bib, the one I was really concerned over, given his Lasagna devotion makes Garfield look ambivalent about the dish, Impish never made so much as a peep about it.

This. Isn’t. Acceptable.

THEREFORE: Out comes another secret Lasagna dish I have been hiding away, Breakfast Lasagna!

I. Will. Break. Him! Brace Yourselves!

You Patrons in the front row, there are plastic ponchos in the pocket on the side of your chairs I strongly urge donning them now. Also there is plastic sheeting to be held up as if this was a Gallagher concert when the time comes.

Post writing that Impish called me and being the occasionally nice friend to him that I am I gave him a heads up I was miffed over his silence on the Lasagna Soup recipe. His response was something to the effect that he didn’t feel a couple of lines buried in the comments section which very few people actually read anyway would do justice to the recipe or his feeling about it.

He stated he was addressing it at some length in his issue. I forewarned him that I already had retribution for his silence locked, loaded and prepared to fire. His retort was ‘bring on the bus I can take it. I’m a DRAGON, we fear nothing.’ 

Very quietly and clearly I said two words, ‘Breakfast. Lasagna.’ A loud thud was heard over the phone line followed by klaxons warning of an excessive drooling event and the need for HAZMAT spill booms and dams needing to be deployed for containment. (I will say this much for dragon drool it resurfaces the stonework floors nicely and cleans the hell out of the grout!) Once Impish was able to mumble again (4 very large sponges were stuffed in his cheeks to increase his retention of drool) he began begging me not to pull the recipe even if his praise of Lasagna Soup was found to be adequate by me.

SO, more out of a need to obtain peace and quiet, regain control of my inbox and return things to some semblance of what passes for normalcy around here, I give you Breakfast Lasagna.

Front row Patrons, now would be an excellent time to hurriedly don those ponchos and deploy that plastic sheeting!

Sausage Gravy Breakfast Lasagna

 

Total Time: 10 hr. 30 min
Prep: 30 min
Inactive: 8 hr. 35 min
Cook: 1 hr. 25 min
Yield: 8 to 10 servings
Level: Easy

 

 

Ingredients

Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
8 ounces lasagna noodles (about 12)
3 tablespoons olive oil, plus more for tossing and greasing the baking dish
2 pounds bulk breakfast sausage, thawed
1 bunch scallions, whites cut into 1/2-inch pieces and greens thinly sliced
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
4 cups whole milk
1/2 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
2 cups shredded low-fat mozzarella cheese
8 ounces white Cheddar, shredded
1/2 cup grated Parmesan
Two 10-ounce packages frozen chopped spinach, thawed and excess liquid squeezed out
1/4 cup fresh parsley leaves, chopped

Directions

Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add the noodles, and cook according to the package directions. Strain into a colander, and toss with some oil. Drape the noodles over and around the side of the colander to cool.

Meanwhile, heat 3 tablespoons oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add the sausage and scallion whites, and cook, stirring and breaking the meat up into bite-size pieces (not crumbs), until the sausage is browned and cooked through, about 8 minutes. Sprinkle the flour over the cooked sausage, and stir until it is completely absorbed. Add 2 cups milk, and stir until it starts to thicken. Stir in the remaining 2 cups milk, bring to a simmer and stir until the sauce is thick enough to coat the back of a spoon, about 2 minutes. Stir in 2 teaspoons salt, 1 1/2 teaspoons pepper and the nutmeg. Remove the sauce from the heat, and let cool.

Mix together the mozzarella, Cheddar and Parmesan in a medium bowl.

Oil a 9- by 13-inch baking dish. Spread about 4 tablespoons of the sauce (without big pieces of sausage) over the bottom. Arrange 4 slightly overlapping noodles to fully cover the bottom of the dish. Spread 1/3 of the remaining sauce over the noodles. Spread 1/2 the spinach in an even layer. Sprinkle with about 1/3 of the scallion greens, 1/4 teaspoon salt, a few grinds of pepper and 1/3 of the cheese mixture. Continue layering with 4 more noodles, 1/2 of the remaining sauce, the remaining spinach, 1/2 of the remaining scallion greens, 1/4 teaspoon salt, a few grinds of pepper and 1/2 of the remaining cheese. Finish the lasagna with the remaining noodles, sauce and cheese. Cover the top with plastic wrap, and refrigerate overnight. Do the same with the remaining scallion greens.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Remove the plastic wrap from the baking dish, and cover with foil. Bake until the cheese is melted and bubbly, about 45 minutes. Uncover the dish, and continue to bake until the lasagna is slightly browned, 10 to 15 minutes. Top with the remaining scallions, the parsley and a sprinkle of black pepper. Let sit for at least 15 minutes, then slice and serve.

A few words about the sausage you use for this recipe:

Don’t skimp and don’t cheap out. The better the sausage the better this dish. It really can make or break it. I use the in store made savory breakfast sausage of a place called Sprout’s. If there is one near you and you’ve not tried their sausage I suggest you do. It’s all natural and has not preservatives additives or nitrates. If I cannot get that I use Jimmy Dean. If I can’t get either of those I don’t make it period.

Consider using one pork and one turkey breakfast sausage. This reduced the amount of grease and fat considerably. If you need a little more fat for the Roux you can always use a pat of butter or a bit of bacon drippings.

Finally, if I’m making this for a brunch, I like adding about 8 oz. (uncooked measure) of cooked chopped mushroom to the sausage mixture. Cook them separately so they don’t suck up all the grease and fat you need to make the Roux. I season them with just a little salt, black pepper and poultry seasoning. You can use garlic powder if you’d like but many people don’t want to taste garlic in their breakfast. (Unless they’re Italian or from Jersey).

There. Now that’s Lasagna 2 weeks in a row and for both of the other 2 meals a day its not usually served are. Let’s see Impish stand up to that!

We out! (Drops large wooden spoon and leaves kitchen)

New England Fall Foliage 2015

 

SURE! and maybe I’ll see some…(pauses as he runs to look out window at the sky) … Nope! No Airborne Bovines. Didn’t really expect any just like I don’t expect Liberals to suddenly start thinking, much less thinking logically.

Walken- Busey 2016

because…

‘MERICA NEEDS MORE COW BELL!

By the time you guys are reading this, Saturday morning, that is, I will be able to tell you how everything worked out, but as of this time, which is 2100 hrs EDT on Monday (that’s 9 pm for you civilian types).  I have had issues for the past couple of weeks with ridiculous pain in my right knee, shin, thigh, hip, back…

I can’t figure out what happened and why it suddenly attacked me so badly.  So …

Anyway, you guys know that I share about everything with you.  I know that Lethal does as well.  And my bringing this up to you is not to complain, but to let you know that it won’t be until Thursday, when I see my surgeon.  I say MY surgeon because he’s the guy who replaced my knee and I trust him… A LOT!

I see him on Thursday and then I’ll know (I hope) about what’s going on.

Reading this from the beginning now on Saturday, for you, you’ll be able to read down through to see how it all works out for me.  Me writing this on Monday, waiting for Thursday to get here…really makes me want it to be Saturday, so I can quickly scroll to the bottom to see what’s going on.

It’s funny.  For all intents and purposes, you are reading these words at the EXACT some time that I am writing them, but we’re doing it with five days between us.  Picture time flowing along in a straight line, with the words that I’m writing flowing along that line.  The words from the top of the page, are in the past for both of us, although they are further in the past for me, then they are for you, if you think about this one particular instant that is the NOW and then is fleetingly gone to be replaced by another, instantaneous NOW, which is gone just as fast, my NOWs are the exact same way.

Yeah, I know…it doesn’t make sense now…but wait until the future (well, for me, for you it’s the past and you can wait as long as you want, the past is never going to become your NOW) and it will all make sense.

I have had this little poster for a long time and I’ve been meaning to use it, but I’ve kept forgetting.  So, tomorrow, I came back to today and reminded myself to use it, taking advantage of the whole NOW conundrum, being today and tomorrow at the same time as your today is.

It’s now VERY early Wednesday morning.  I’ve been up since about 1 am with horrible (HORRIBLE!!!!!!) leg cramps.  I’m so damn tired, but I can’t go back to sleep.  It’s 445 now and my alarm just went off to get up and get ready to go to work.  Thank goodness for Lethal’s Brown-gold.  As you read in today’s issue, (that is 3 days old for you guys, is brown-gold is “As Impish will attest my ‘Brown Gold’ Coffee blend is nothing short of magical. You want proof you say? Well just one sip renders him speechless. Two sips and he’s actually awake and alert. Half a cup and he’ll actually do a full days honest work load. Now if THAT isn’t magic I don’t know what is!” Today, it’s survival!  His coffee is the only thing standing between me and certain death. 

So that was written about 5 hours ago.  Since that time I have been back to bed, woken up with another deep groin muscle cramp, back to bed again to be finally woken up (after a total of about 3 hours of sleep) to TWO cramps, in the same spot on EACH leg. 

I gotta figure this shit out.  I DO NOT want to end up back at this place:

They’ve added a whole new wing!  And what the hell are “Dragon Psychological and Physiological Issues?”

Sigh!

Let’s laugh some more.

Lethal does such a GREAT Yoda.  I’ll have to try to get a recording of him doing Yoda’s voice and getting it on the blog somehow.

It’s now later in the day on Wednesday and I know to you it seems like I just told you how horrible my Wednesday is, and from your current position (my future position), not much has actually changed in that amount of time.  For me, several hours have gone by and, whether you believe it or not, my day has gotten worse!  As you know, Wednesday is the publication day for Leprechaun Laffs.

As you are well aware, there are certain people that each of teases in a good hearted way and leave the real blood-thirsty stuff for each other.  And I’m sure you’ve realized by now that that is just some of the ways brothers talk to each other.  It’s a sign of love.

Now, I’ve gone and told you all of this stuff that you already knew to give you a tiny bit of insight into Impish Dragon.  Lethal is an outstanding cook with a wicked imagination for food that I, with over 25 years of experience in restaurants (from chicken shack to white-gloved-fine dining) a damn fine cook in my own right and completely blown away by him.  One of the things that he loves to do is tease some of the ladies with his “weak kneed recipes”. One of his primary targets, if not THE primary target in all of this is Ginny.  Now, this is the look inside of Impish, I secretly enjoy watching Ginny after she gets ahold of one of his weak-kneed products as she stumbles around, moaning, with her eyes half closed like she is mid-orgasm (well hell, maybe she is?) and able to give Meg Ryan in Katz’s Delicatessen a run for her money.

So now the ….

What?

What do you mean, “who or what is Meg Ryan in Katz’s Delicatessen and what does it have to do with Ginny?”

Please, please, please don’t tell me that you’ve never seen the fantastic movie, When Harry Met Sally.

You haven’t.

You haven’t even heard of it before.

How old are you?  What the hell are you doing here???

Security, get this “child” out of here.  Make sure he is printed and retna scanned so he can’t get back in here again.  Also find out what entrance he used and who was on duty at the time he came in.  Thanks.

Anyway, where was I?  Oh yeah, Meg Ryan.

So, for the rest of us, let’s just do a fast review.  Here’s the scene I’m speaking about:

So, the point is, that when Ginny gets a hold of one of Lethal’s Weak Kneed recipes, she gives Meg Ryan a run for her money.  And I think it is hilarious and enjoy the heck out of watching her eat.

Now, the tables are turned.

Now Lethal is coming after me.  What am I talking about, you ask?  This!  This is what I’m talking about.  It all started with this:

And yes, I read it and quite honestly, I scoffed.  I thought, yeah right!  There’s no way that a recipe is going to affect me like it does Ginny.  And then this came along:

And I was done.  Thank goodness I was in my own office when it happened, but even so, I am mortified.  Weak kneed doesn’t even describe it.  And writing about it shortly after it happened is not only very hard, but extremely dangerous.  Rather than beating myself up over it, let me just say that, it took 5, full sized pumper trucks to get rid of the drool.  I almost drowned myself in my own office and I didn’t care because I was watching the clip over and over again and as far as the noise I was making, well…. I have a court appearance in front of a judge next week for disturbing the peace and lewd and lascivious behavior.  I’ll be EXTREMELY LUCKY if I don’t end up on some sex offender list somewhere.

Damn Lasagna Soup.

But, oh man……!!!

Yes, I’ve heard this one before, but this one seems to end a little differently.  Still, it made me smile and chuckle internally, so it meets the strictest requirements for the blog, and thusly, here it is: (Any of you been around long enough to remember the rules for getting something published in Dragon Laffs?)

 

Several websites covered this because it was more than just a slap in the face to America:

”Antonio Cromartie decided to follow Colin Kaepernick’s lead and kneel for the National Anthem.”
”The Indianapolis Colts cornerback took a knee and raised his fist during Sunday’s game with the Jacksonville Jaguars in London. To further slap his fellow Americans in the face, he then stood for “God Save The Queen.”

What the hell!?!?!?!?!?!?!  You are on your BEST behavior in another country and you embarrass all of us like this????!!!!

Wait! Wait! Wait!  The article continues:

“But, it appears that Cromartie’s decision may have cost him big time.” On Tuesday, Cromartie got his pink slip and was released from the Colts.”

Hold on…it gets even … better (?). There’s even more to this story.

“Cromartie signed a $3 million deal with the Colts before the start of the season. The cornerback, who has a dozen children with eight different women, obviously could use that money since he owes $336,000 in child support.  Perhaps he should have thought about that before he acted.”

Now, in the interest of fairness and truth and honesty, it appears that his kneeling may not have been the “official” reason for his firing.  Here’s a quote from breitbart.com that sheds some light on this aspect but real quick before the quote, can I just make a point….he OWES $336,000 in child support!!!! That’s HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS!  Of DOLLARS!!  That’s 28,00 per kid!  I’m astounded.  But then again, it amazes me completely how guys who play a game for a living and who get paid and treated like kings, can be such unmitigated cowards and self-centered ass wipes.

“But his play during the game, rather than his antics before it, likely led to his release.

The Colts lost the game to the longtime divisional doormat Jacksonville Jaguars 30-27.”

“The four-time Pro Bowler struggled throughout and his play with the Colts was summed up by one series during their Week 4 loss to the Jacksonville Jaguars in London,” ESPN’s Mike Wells writes.’Cromartie was beaten twice and called for two penalties on a drive where the Jaguars managed to get a field goal as the first half came to an end. Cromartie was benched in favor of Rashaan Melvin, in the second half.’”

I’d give you the links to the rest of the articles, but the above is the gist of it.  I guess my point is, I’ll bet the Colts front office, when considering cutting this super-genius, took his antics in front of America and England into account.

I know I would.

 

More employees trying on Halloween costumes.  This one is…wow, I jumped right in here and put a fantasy picture up and I haven’t even put up a dragon picture yet.

So, let’s fix that:

A great dragon picture.  That’s a very close friend of mine with his wife. Which is the friend and which is the wife?  Well, I haven’t seen very many wives with that kind of a mustache, although dwarven women have facial hair to rival their male companions.  And, we have been doing a lot lately with Halloween costumes, so who’s to say that they aren’t just two normal people in costume.

And, who’s to say, really, what “normal” is?

Okay, I won’t leave you hanging.  I know that you are all just sitting on the edge of your seats wondering who is who….

Paul is sitting over there with his hand gripping his cane, his coffee cup balanced precariously on his knee and his dear wife Ginny has stopped chewing her donut, Boston Crème of course, and is sitting there with her mouth open waiting for me to do the big reveal.

Wait….Diaman just reminded me that, although I have permission to use the above picture, I don’t have permission to reveal the names of the people in the picture.

Sigh.

Ginny, go ahead and start chewing again, and push Paul back onto his lounger and grab his coffee cup.

Sorry folks, I can’t, legally, go any further.  So, let’s move on.

Going back to the Colin Kaepernick topic for just one second….I think I’m in Love.  And it’s with Tomi Lahren from The Blaze.  Oh my dear, I am having a horrible case of:

Okay, so that is a great segue into this section, which is beginning to be one of my favorites!Now, we’re making jokes about it?  The amount of people who have “disappeared” or who have committed “Suicide” is astounding and NO ONE IS DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT! Maybe they are all worried about having to commit suicide if they try to investigate.

And all those imbecilic Hillary fans are nodding their heads in agreement.

And finally one more that mimics the first and perfectly rounds out this political segue

So today (yesterday) is Friday and I saw my doctor yesterday (the day before yesterday) Thursday.  He tells me that all of my symptoms can be related to my back and rather than take x-rays of everything else first, there is, after all, no reason to try to fix one problem without fixing the problem that caused that problem in the first place, that he wants an MRI done on my back and we’ll take it from there.  So, I suppose that is news and whether that turns out to be good news or bad is going to depend on how it all turns out in the long run.

Stay tuned to your favorite dragon channel for any updates.

I’m going to present this next one to you from Ginny exactly as it was sent to me.  Because I don’t want to be treated the same way.

I always wondered what she meant when she’d say that to me.  Every now and then while I was working or doing something around the offices I’d ask Ginny something or ask her to do something for me, or disagreed with her and I’d hear quite faintly under her breath, “That’s once.”

I’ve actually even heard “That’s Twice” several times.

But, I think she is all words and no action because I know I heard her say, “That’s Three-Times!” But, she didn’t shoot me.

See…no follow through.

But you know, there was something odd about that time.  I remember it well because Diaman was there and as soon as I heard Ginny say, “That’s Three-Times!” Diaman leaped from the side of the hallway where she happened to be standing and started wrestling with Ginny.  Now, I love a good girl wrestling match as much as the next dragon, but I had important pastries transcripts to taste-test proof-read so I couldn’t stick around.  But as I was walking away, and this is the part that was odd and stuck in my memory,I did hear a loud pop sound from a broken light bulb from where they were  horse-playing around in the hallway.

So…..I …. um …. forgot the point I was trying to make…so, let’s move on!

So, I just had to stop and put this category in right here because I found something so cool that I just had to share.

Wasn’t that great!?  I just wished they could’ve showed it a few more times.  But wait…then this one pops up and it looks awesome, too!

A lot more stuff being shot in not only slo-mo, but in extreme close-up as well.

Okay, okay, settle down.  Put the guns and cameras away.  I know that ws cool, but you can’t recreate some of the scenes from the movie yourselves.  Okay, to settle the mood back to where it’s supposed to be, let’s watch this one.

Top 5 Brutal Facts About Getting Shot!

Better now?

Good.

Then, let’s move on.

Okay, just one video (on a different topic) that I thought was pretty cool!

New Sports Bra Announced

Saturday, October 8, 2016

Dr. Calvin Rickson, a Professor of Sports Medicine at Texas A&M University has invented a bra that keeps women’s breasts from jiggling and bouncing, and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in.

At a news conference, after announcing the invention, a large group of men took Dr. Rickson outside and kicked the crap out of him.

I told you once before that Ginny has been sending me these Health Capsules and this one is a doozy!

As a thank you to Lethal Leprechaun for the wonderful recipe for lasagna soup.  Well, you already know how I feel about that.  LOL.  Here are some Motivational posters that he should find close to his heart.

Okay, that’s sufficient for now.  I’m sure Lethal knows how I feel about him plus, gotta save some for the Marine Anniversary in November.

 

I’m sure that you have seen pharmaceutical advertising in doctor’s offices on everything from tissues to note pads.

This one should get First prize…

I e-mailed it to my Japanese doctor friend;
he e-mailed back:
“If light stay on more than 4 hour, call erectrician.

There ought to be a number you can call, as a husband, to give you real-live emergencies that you HAVE to get to, so you can get out of these things.

How about if you “said” you were a volunteer fireman in your local town.  Then, anytime you got stuck in the mall for the passing of day 4, or whatever your limit is, you can use the excuse that there is a fire you have to go help put out.

It could work.

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t a great idea, but you don’t have to sit back there and laugh so hard.

That’s it!  That’s all the warning you’re going to get…

I warned you.  See, it even startled the clowns.

This next joke I actually got from both Ginny and Diaman…

No matter which side you are on in the matter of renaming the Washington Redskins, this is funny. This guy is hilarious…

Here is an e-mail sent to Clarence Page of the Chicago Tribune after an article he published concerning a name change for the Washington Redskins.

Dear Mr. Page:  I agree with our Native American population.  I am highly insulted by the racially charged name of the Washington Redskins.  One might argue that to name a professional football team after Native Americans would exalt them as fine warriors, but nay, nay.  We must be careful not to offend, and in the spirit of political correctness and courtesy, we must move forward.

Let’s ditch the Kansas City Chiefs, the Atlanta Braves and the Cleveland Indians.  If your shorts are in a wad because of the reference the name Redskins makes to skin color, then we need to get rid of the Cleveland Browns.

The Carolina Panthers obviously were named to keep the memory of militant Blacks from the 60’s alive.  Gone.  It’s offensive to us white folk.

The New York Yankees offend the Southern population.  Do you see a team named for the Confederacy?  No!  There is no room for any reference to that tragic war that cost this country so many young men’s lives.

I am also offended by the blatant references to the Catholic religion among our sports team names.  Totally inappropriate to have the New Orleans Saints, the Los Angeles Angels or the San Diego Padres.

Then there are the team names that glorify criminals who raped and pillaged.  We are talking about the horrible Oakland Raiders, the Minnesota Vikings, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and the Pittsburgh Pirates!

Now, let us address those teams that clearly send the wrong message to our children.  The San Diego Chargers promote irresponsible fighting or even spending habits.  Wrong message to our children.

The New York Giants and the San Francisco Giants promote obesity, a growing childhood epidemic.  Wrong message to our children.

The Cincinnati Reds promote downers/barbiturates.  Wrong message to our children.

The Milwaukee Brewers.  Well that goes without saying.  Wrong message to our children.

So, there you go.  We need to support any legislation that comes out to rectify this travesty, because the government will likely become involved with this issue, as they should.  Just the kind of thing the do-nothing Congress loves.

As a diehard Oregon State fan, my wife and I, with all of this in mind, suggest it might also make some sense to change the name of the Oregon State women’s athletic teams to something other than “the Beavers (especially when they play Southern California.  Do we really want the Trojans sticking it to the Beavers?)

I always love your articles and I generally agree with them.  As for the Redskins name I would suggest they change the name to the “Foreskins” to better represent their community, paying tribute to the dick heads in Congress.

And that ought to do it for another day.  Until we meet again.

 

[As Impish will attest my ‘Brown Gold’ Coffee blend is nothing short of magical. You want proof you say? Well just one sip renders him speechless. Two sips and he’s actually awake and alert. Half a cup and he’ll actually do a full days honest work load. Now if THAT isn’t magic I don’t know what is!]

 

I’ve got to believe whatever is left of the Founding Fathers is rolling over in their graves faster than a jet turbine over our current and future Presidential situations.

 

 

 I was informed by a fellow Texan who is a reader that Texas is a ‘Dog State’. Therefore here’s a gratuitous Texas Dog shot.

Last weeks evil clown in Impish’s Little Dragon’s Room actually turned out to be beneficial. See unknown to anyone he’d been suffering from a bit of a case of ‘cheese butt’. The clown on the potty lid gimmick apparently totally resolved that issue for him and he was in and out of there in under a half hour each time for most of the week That’s like Olympic time for him). However I notice his time is increasing again so I figured he needed a ‘little booster’ to get things moving again. I suspect this crawling out from under the sink in there should just about do the trick.

A short one this time from our newest feature.

And when I say ‘OH HELLS NO!’ in this case I’m not talking just about the snails!

Clearly another Darwin Award candidate in the running!

OK everyone place their beverages in the cup holders provided. Hopefully the gimbal mountings will prevent any spillage and injury. Seat belts everyone please as well! NO we’re not doing this out of sympathy for Ginny and her weak knees, tis time around it’s the big guy I’m worried about hitting the floor or dashing out of the room willy nilly full speed for the kitchens. See right off I’m messing with something very near and dear to his heart (stomachs?) Lasagna. Fall is here and to me Fall heralds the return of soup time so I started digging into my files and found this one from last year that I never got to post.

Lasagna Soup

 

Ingredients

• 1 tbsp. extra-virgin olive oil
• 1 yellow onion, chopped
• kosher salt
• 1 lb. ground beef
• 4 cloves garlic, minced
• 28 oz. can crushed tomatoes
• 1 tbsp. dried oregano
• 5 c. low-sodium chicken broth
• 8 oz. lasagna noodles, broke into 2″ pieces
• 2 c. shredded mozzarella
• Grated Parmesan, for garnish
• Torn fresh basil, for garnish

Directions

1. In a large skillet over medium heat, heat oil. Add onions and season with salt. Cook until tender and golden, 5 minutes, then add beef and cook until no longer pink. Drain fat and return to pot.
2. Add garlic and stir until fragrant, 1 minute, then add crushed tomatoes and dried oregano.
3. Pour in chicken broth and bring to a simmer.
4. Add lasagna noodles and cook, stirring occasionally, until al dente, 10 minutes.
5. Add mozzarella and stir, letting melt into soup.
6. Garnish with Parm and basil.

I like using leftover homemade spaghetti sauce, particularly if I made meatballs and have leftovers (admittedly they usually wind up as sandwich fare the next day) for this dish. Just start where they’re adding the chicken broth to the pan and have reheated your left over sauce first. Once you add the chicken stock give it a gentle stir for a minute then remove the meatballs if you’d like and halve or quarter them before returning to the pot. They’ll come out cleaner and easier to manage this way.

I’ve also been known to use loose Italian Sausage in place of the Ground Beef and Cheese and Spinach Ravioli in place of the Lasagna Noodles.

 

Cracker Barrel-Inspired Broccoli Cheddar Chicken Casserole

Ingredients

• 4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
• salt and pepper, for seasoning chicken
• 1 c. milk
• 1 can cheddar cheese soup (10.75 ounces)
• 1/2 tsp. paprika
• 1 c. shredded sharp Cheddar cheese
• 1 bag frozen broccoli florets (10 ounces)
• 1 c. crushed Ritz crackers

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F.
2. Pat each chicken breast dry using paper towels. Lightly season both sides of the chicken with salt and pepper, and place them in an oven-safe casserole dish.
3. In a large mixing bowl, combine milk, cheddar cheese soup, paprika and shredded cheese. Fold in the broccoli and 1/2 c. Ritz crackers. Pour over the chicken, covering it entirely.
4. Top with remaining Ritz crackers. Bake in the oven for 45-50 minutes, or until chicken is fully cooked and no longer pink in the center. (If you take a piece out and pierce it with a knife, the juices should run clear.)

I like serving it with Mac & Cheese or Scalloped Cheddar Potatoes and a salad.

The head of Hezbollah has found someone he hates even more than Israelis

If there were any doubt as to just how toxic sectarian politics has become in the Middle East, the latest statement from the leader of the Iran-backed Lebanese Shia militant group Hezbollah should clear things right up.

Hassan Nasrallah, the secretary general of a group that has been fighting Israel for decades, declared on Tuesday that “Wahhabism is more evil than Israel,” Lebanon’s Al Akhbar newspaper reported.

Wahhabism is the ultra-fundamentalist strain of Sunni Islam that Saudi Arabia’s government promotes and that strongly influences the ideology of Sunni jihadist groups like al-Qaeda and ISIS.

In other words, things have gotten so bad that Hezbollah, Israel’s mortal enemy, now considers Wahhabis — that is, fellow Muslims — to be worse than Israel. Bear in mind, this is coming from the same man who has described Israel as “a cancerous entity and the root of all the crises and wars” and pledged that Israel’s destiny “is manifested in our motto: ‘Death to Israel.”

It’s also coming from a man at the helm of a group that has engaged in numerous conflicts with Israel, including a horrifically bloody all-out war in 2006 that resulted in the deaths of around 1,300 Lebanese, mostly civilians, and 165 Israelis, 121 of whom were soldiers. Israeli security officials say the group now has the capacity to batter their country with more than 1,000 rockets a day.

But despite how it may seem, Nasrallah’s statement is not, at its base, a conflict about religion. Though there are certainly strong religious disagreements between Sunni and Shia — and especially between extreme fundamentalist Sunnis and extreme fundamentalist Shia — the conflict between Iran and Saudi Arabia has little to do with dogma. It’s actually about something far less exotic: power and influence.

This is just another salvo in the proxy war between Iran and Saudi Arabia

Tehran’s Shia government and Riyadh’s Sunni one have spent years waging a Cold War–style proxy fight for dominance of the Middle East and the broader Muslim world. The two countries haven’t openly fought each other, but they back extremist groups around the Middle East who share their worldviews — and who are willing to fight, kill, and die on their behalf.

This proxy war plays out in conflicts all over the Middle East. For instance, Saudi Arabia, with US military assistance, is engaged in a brutal air war against Iranian-backed Houthi fighters inside Yemen that has sparked a massive humanitarian crisis in the impoverished country. The United Nations recently estimated that at least 10,000 civilians have died, and acknowledged that that number was almost certainly lower than the actual toll.

Saudi Arabia’s proxy fight with Iran is also helping to fuel the bloodshed in Syria, where an estimated 400,000 people have been killed over the past five years while millions more have fled the country and sparked the biggest refugee crisis in decades.

Hezbollah — the strongest and most influential of Iran’s various surrogate groups — has sent between 5,000 and 8,000 fighters to Syria on behalf of the Syrian regime of Bashar al-Assad. Fighting against them are myriad secular and Islamist groups, including some more extreme Wahhabi-influenced groups that are being supported by Saudi Arabia.

Saudi Arabia wants its preferred groups to topple Assad in order to remove the pro-Iranian leader and install a more Saudi-friendly (preferably Sunni) regime. Iran, naturally, would very much like to prevent that from happening.

The (potentially even deadlier) war of words

In the past few weeks, the hottest front in the showdown between Saudi Arabia and Iran has taken place online, in the press, and on social media. The New York Times published a scathing op-ed by Iranian Foreign Minister Mohammad Javad Zarif in which Tehran’s top diplomat argued that “the key driver of violence” in the Middle East has been Wahhabism, the “extremist ideology promoted by Saudi Arabia.”

Saudi Arabia responded by publishing a series of tweets from its US embassy’s official Twitter account accusing Iran of having “supported violent extremist groups all over the world” and stating that “Iran or its proxies have been blamed for terrorist attacks around the world.”

The new statement from Hezbollah’s secretary general may be the latest attack in this ongoing tit-for-tat war of words playing out across the internet, but it won’t be the last. The proxy war between the two countries, sadly, also shows no signs of coming to a peaceful end anytime soon.

FINALLY THE LIGHT DAWNS UNDER THOSE DAMNED TURBANS! OK, true it is a lone voice of reason amid the sand sea of insanity that is Islam and the Middle East, but every social reform, movement, idea, change we have ever experienced has begun with a lone voice crying out that something was morally unacceptable and needed to be stopped.

Here’s hoping this is the lone voice signaling the start of the swan song of Islamic Extremism

Congress overrides president’s veto of Sept. 11 legislation

There are several good videos that I cannot post here on the site. Click the link above.

WASHINGTON (AP) — Congress voted overwhelmingly Wednesday to allow families of Sept. 11 victims to sue Saudi Arabia for its alleged backing of the attackers, handing Barack Obama the first veto override of his presidency.

Both the House and Senate voted decisively to reverse Obama’s decision to scuttle the legislation. Democrats in both chambers abandoned the president in large numbers despite warnings from Obama and top national security officials that flaws in the bill could put U.S. interests, troops, and intelligence personnel at risk.

The Senate vote was 97-1. The House vote a few hours later was 348-77.

Lawmakers said their priority was the 9/11 victims and their families, not Saudi Arabia.

“The White House and the executive branch (are) far more interested in diplomatic considerations,” said Sen. Chuck Schumer, D-N.Y., a sponsor of the bill. “We’re more interested in the families and in justice.”

Speaking at a forum in Washington, CIA Director John Brennan said he was concerned about how Saudi Arabia, a key U.S. ally in the Middle East, would interpret the bill. He said the Saudis provide significant amounts of information to the U.S. to help foil extremist plots.

“It would an absolute shame if this legislation, in any way, influenced the Saudi willingness to continue to be among our best counterterrorism partners,” Brennan said.

Brennan, who said he visited lawmakers Wednesday to argue against an override of Obama’s veto, noted that there is a tremendous amount of Saudi investment in the United States. “Do they want to leave them here so they could potentially be attached by some type of court ruling that is going to award the litigants?” he asked.

After senators acted, White House spokesman Josh Earnest called the vote the “single most embarrassing thing” the Senate has done in decades and “an abdication” of its responsibility. He accused members of the Senate Judiciary Committee of not understanding the legislation and its impact on the military.

Five weeks before state and national elections, lawmakers refused to oppose a measure strongly supported by 9/11 families who say they are still seeking justice 15 years after attackers killed nearly 3,000 people. Saudi Arabia, an important U.S. ally in the Middle East, is staunchly opposed to the measure.

Despite reversing Obama’s decision, a group of senators acknowledged that defects in the bill could open a legal Pandora’s box, triggering lawsuits from people in other countries seeking redress for injuries or deaths caused by military actions in which the U.S. may have had a role.

In a letter sent Tuesday to Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid, Obama said the bill would erode sovereign immunity principles that prevent foreign litigants “from second-guessing our counterterrorism operations and other actions that we take every day.”

But proponents of the bill dismissed Obama’s concerns as unpersuasive. Sen. John Cornyn of Texas, the Senate’s No. 2 Republican, and other supporters said the bill is narrowly tailored and applies only to acts of terrorism that occur on U.S. soil.

“This bill is about respecting the voices and rights of American victims,” Cornyn said.

Families of the victims and their attorneys dismissed concerns over the legislation as fearmongering.

Sen. Ben Cardin of Maryland, one of the Democrats who broke with Obama and voted to override, said, “The risks of shielding the perpetrators of terrorism from justice are greater than the risks this legislation may pose to America’s presence around the world.”

The legislation gives victims’ families the right to sue in U.S. court for any role that elements of the Saudi government may have played in the 2001 attacks. Fifteen of the 19 Sept. 11 hijackers were Saudis. Courts would be permitted to waive a claim of foreign sovereign immunity when an act of terrorism occurred inside U.S. borders, according to the terms of the bill.

A group of national-security minded legislators pledged to discuss how to repair problem areas during the upcoming lame-duck session of Congress. But the fact that legislation could pass both chambers of Congress without closer scrutiny left at least a few senators chiding themselves for not examining its ramifications more closely.

The Justice Against Sponsors of Terrorism Act, or JASTA, moved to the floor of the Senate in May and was passed by voice vote. The bill cleared the House earlier this month, also by voice vote.

“We didn’t pay much attention to this,” said Sen. Dianne Feinstein of California, the top Democrat on the Senate intelligence committee. “And boy is that ever a lesson learned.”

Obama vetoed the measure last week, telling lawmakers the bill would make the U.S. vulnerable to retaliatory litigation.

In his letter to Reid, the president said other countries could attempt to use JASTA to justify similar immunity exceptions to target U.S. policies and activities that they oppose.

In a separate letter sent Monday to a senior House member, Defense Secretary Ash Carter described the potential for foreign litigants to seek classified intelligence data and analysis and sensitive operational information to establish their cases in what could be an “intrusive discovery process.”

Missing the vote were Sens. Bernie Sanders, I-Vt., and Tim Kaine, D-Va.

It’s about time those two faced Saudi’s as well as their sycophant bowing ass kisser Obama were scared of the American people. As I said earlier (graphically)  Society has gotten to the point where everyone has a right but nobody has a responsibility. The Saudi’s are the world leader in this philosophy IMHO with the Black Live Matter mob hard on their heels.

You want to bet when it starts costing the Saudi Royal Family out of their robes for terrorist activities they’ve historically turned a blind eye towards in the name of appeasement that they’ll find the motivation to start rooting them out and putting a stop to it? Want to bet that they’ll start pressuring other Middle Eastern counties into getting their anti-terrorist act together?

Best of all from where I sit is the other edge of the sword which means that the US Government will think several more times before they send troops charging off to play policeman to the world. Let everyone else do it for a while we do it and they fail to repay us as agreed and we’re out the troops and the money. Well now if the US Government has to worry about being sued for collateral damage in drone strikes and missile attacks maybe they’ll be more inclined to show the UN their shiny white backside and tell them to kiss it and deal with the problem themselves for a change.

Oops! I see it’s time for my afternoon Doctor prescribed tipple! I’ll be taking my leave of you now. See you next week.

Oh yes….it’s good to be home. 

But it has been a long week. 

It never ceases to amaze me that I can be out of the office for one day and I have two days worth of work and messages that I come back to.  That wouldn’t be so bad, but it becomes a geometric progression from there.  Like this:

1 Day Gone = 2 Days of Work
2 Days Gone = 4 Days of Work
3 Days Gone = 16 Days of Work
4 Days = 32 Days of work
You see what’s going on here, right?
By the time you get to  seven days (and yeah, I didn’t really miss seven days of work, because the weekends aren’t really work days, but the way it works is that once you hit 4 days, you enter a dimension where ALL days count as work days, and it comes at you harder and faster than you can even imagine.) (Trust me!  I know!) … where was I?…Oh yeah, by the time you get to seven (7) days, you come back to an incredible two-hundred, fifty-six (256) days worth of work piled up on your desk.
Oh man, my desk.
My desk was horrible.
Look here:

I know…you’re looking at that and thinking, well, that’s not so bad.  Well, I’m not being completely honest with you.  That picture was taken on Thursday….afternoon.  Four days after I had returned.

So, as you can see, I REALLY need some laughs!  So, let’s just jump right in and say:

See!  See!  Even the darn cartoons get to play with explosives!  I am still so disappointed.

Okay, the teaser for this was “The Most Bizarre Thing You’ll See All Day.” Now, to me, that’s a pretty heavy boast.  But, this comes pretty damn close.  So… Challenge Accepted!

This chicken named Charlie runs around wearing a pair of blue pants.  Looks like Charlie wears the pants in this farm yard.

 

So, I’m not nominating this for being more bizarre than the first one, but it is pretty weird.  This young 8 year old Australian golf phenom accidently takes out a drone.

Okay, so not bad…

Here’s another one that I like a lot.  It would make a really good tattoo.  Maybe trade out the chalice for something else.  But, I do like it.

Respect!  That’s what this next ….essay? … letter?  … whatever … that’s what they get: respect!  This is priceless!  You MUST respect the craft and this person, whoever they are, certainly know their craft!  I would LOVE to find out that this is all true.

The Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife sent some homeowners a letter.

Dear Landowner:
ODFW Staff will be conducting surveys and recon for Foothill Yellow-Legged Frogs & other amphibians over the next few months in Clackamas County. As part of these surveys and research being conducted by the State of Oregon,  we would like to access and survey the creek on your property. I am writing this letter to request your permission as the land owner for ODFW staff to enter upon your property and conduct the State’s surveys and research.
Recent research indicates that the population of Foothill Yellow-Legged Frogs has declined significantly in recent years and such species are no longer found at half of their historic sites. Your cooperation will be greatly appreciated and will help contribute to the conservation of this important  species.
Please fill out, date and sign the attached postage-paid postcard and let us know if you are willing to allow the State of Oregon, Department of Fish and Wildlife to enter upon your property in order to perform this important environmental work. If you have any questions or concerns about this project, please call Thomas Vanderzanden in our Portland Office at (503) 227.7712 extension 224. Thank you in advance for your anticipated cooperation in this matter.
Sincerely
Steve Niemela
Conservation Strategy Implementation Biologist,
State of Oregon, Department of Fish and Wildlife

********RESPONSE FROM LANDOWNERS:  ********

Dear Mr. Niemela:
Thank you for your inquiry regarding access to our property in Clackamas,
Oregon to survey for the Yellow-Legged Frog. We may be able to help
you and the State of Oregon with this endeavor.
We have divided our 2.26 acres into 75 equal survey units with a draw tag for each unit. Application fees are only $8.00 per unit after you purchase the “Frog Survey License” ($120.00 resident / $180.00 Non-Resident). You will also need to obtain a “Frog
Habitat” parking permit ($10.00 per vehicle). You will also need an “Invasive Species” stamp ($15.00 for the first vehicle and $5.00 for each add ’l vehicle) You will also want to register at the Check Station to have your vehicle inspected for non-native plant life prior to entering our property. There is also a Day Use fee, $5.00 per vehicle.
If you are successful in the Draw, you will be notified two weeks in
advance so you can make necessary plans and purchase your “Creek Habitat” stamp. ($18.00 Resident / $140.00 Non-Resident). Survey units open between 8am and 3pm but you cannot commence survey until 9am and must cease all survey activity by 1pm.
Survey Gear can only include a net with a 2″ diameter made of 100% organic cotton netting with no longer than an 18″ handle, non-weighted and no deeper than 6′ from net frame to bottom of net. Handles can only be made of BPA-free plastics or wooden handles. After 1pm you can use a net with a 3″ diameter if you purchase the “Frog Net Endorsement” ($75.00 Resident / $250 Non-Resident). Any frogs captured that are released will need to be released with an approved release device, tagged and put back into
the environment unharmed.
By the way, as of June 1, we are offering draw tags for our “Premium Survey” units and application is again only $8.00 per application.
However, all fees can be waived if you are related in any way to Elizabeth Warren or can verify “Native Indian” tribal rights and status.
Finally, you will also need to provide evidence of successful completion of “Frog Surveys and You”, a comprehensive course on frog identification, safe handling practices, and self-defense strategies for frog attacks. This course is offered online through an accredited
program for a nominal fee of $750.00.
Please let us know if we can be of assistance to you.
Otherwise, we decline your request for access to our property but appreciate your inquiry.
Sincerely,
Larry & Amanda Anderson.

A true master

Okay, so that, to me, is a GREAT segue into our …

I kinda like Broomstick 1.  That way you get to read SO much more into it.

Okay, one more that I just found.

Can anyone find anything wrong with this set up?  Does this not sound like perfection?

So, our dear friend, fellow camper and fellow library enhancer K2 sent this one in.  All I can say is “OUCH!”  The truth hurts!

 

And I repeat my earlier statement: “OUCH!”

Well, that is definitely one way of finding out what everyone thinks.

Okay, so this next one hit me really hard!  It’s kind of political, but mostly it’s just truthful.

How did the statement that this great lady made turn into this:Maybe that second line on the scroll at the bottom of the screen has something to do with it.

Yup, it’s time to break things up a little.

I have this one blown up and put on the wall in my office.  It tells me that to find the right person for the job, to find the person that is to blame, to find the person that needs to do something (as in: “Somebody needs to do something!”) that I need to look inside first. 

I really like it.

 

I have heard versions of this joke with Irish men, Polish, Baptists, …. you get the point.  And here it is with two of our favorite opponents.

Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump go into a bakery. As soon as they enter the bakery, Hillary steals three pastries and puts them in her pocket.

You just can’t please some people.

Anyone who’s ever owned a cat…let me change that.  You don’t EVER OWN a cat.  At best, they allow you to be a guest in their house as long as it’s convenient to them.  Anyway, if you’ve ever been in a non-reciprocal relationship with a cat, you know that this is actually the height of “praise” for them.  The cat is basically saying that you are worth feeding and you are worth giving special gifts to.

I know guys that are just like that.

I know!  Unbelievable, right?

Yeah, I know people like this, too.  In fact, I’ve worked with some.

That’s for people who’ve never met Ninja kitties.

 

 

 

I don’t know….I looked a lot longer than 30 seconds and never did see a beach.

That is actually the vision statement of DL&LL Electronic Media Managerial Company.

And a whole lot of bad men, too.

I checked with my favorite Marine Brother and he told me that this isn’t really a TRUE representation of Marine Beer Pong, but it’s as close as a wing=nut like me could handle or understand.  He didn’t elaborate.

I found this outstandingly interesting.  I had no idea that he even had a blog.  Come to find out he’s a peer, at least age wise.  So, I present to you an excellent essay by one of my favorite comic authors.

You may or may not recognize his name, but you recognize his creation.  I’m talking about Scott Adams and my cubicle hero Dilbert.  So here is:

Why I Switched My Endorsement from Clinton to Trump

Posted September 25th, 2016 @ 12:41pm in #Trump #clinton

I’m going to copy it complete here, even though if you click on the title above, it will take you to the website.

As most of you know, I had been endorsing Hillary Clinton for president, for my personal safety, because I live in California. It isn’t safe to be a Trump supporter where I live. And it’s bad for business too. But recently I switched my endorsement to Trump, and I owe you an explanation. So here it goes.

1. Things I Don’t Know: There are many things I don’t know. For example, I don’t know the best way to defeat ISIS. Neither do you. I don’t know the best way to negotiate trade policies. Neither do you. I don’t know the best tax policy to lift all boats. Neither do you. My opinion on abortion is that men should follow the lead of women on that topic because doing so produces the most credible laws. So on most political topics, I don’t know enough to make a decision. Neither do you, but you probably think you do.

Given the uncertainty about each candidate – at least in my own mind – I have been saying I am not smart enough to know who would be the best president. That neutrality changed when Clinton proposed raising estate taxes. I understand that issue and I view it as robbery by government.

I’ll say more about that, plus some other issues I do understand, below.

2. Confiscation of Property: Clinton proposed a new top Estate Tax of 65% on people with net worth over $500 million. Her website goes to great length to obscure the actual policy details, including the fact that taxes would increase on lower value estates as well. See the total lack of transparency here, where the text simply refers to going back to 2009 rates. It is clear that the intent of the page is to mislead, not inform.

So don’t fall for the claim that Clinton has plenty of policy details on her website. She does, but it is organized to mislead, not to inform. That’s far worse than having no details.

The bottom line is that under Clinton’s plan, estate taxes would be higher for anyone with estates over $5 million(ish). I call this a confiscation tax because income taxes have already been paid on this money. In my case, a dollar I earn today will be taxed at about 50% by various government entities, collectively. With Clinton’s plan, my remaining 50 cents will be taxed again at 50% when I die. So the government would take 75% of my earnings from now on.

Yes, I can do clever things with trusts to avoid estate taxes. But that is just welfare for lawyers. If the impact of the estate tax is nothing but higher fees for my attorney, and hassle for me, that isn’t good news either.

You can argue whether an estate tax is fair or unfair, but fairness is an argument for idiots and children. Fairness isn’t an objective quality of the universe. I oppose the estate tax because I was born to modest means and worked 7-days a week for most of my life to be in my current position. (I’m working today, Sunday, as per usual.) And I don’t want to give 75% of my earnings to the government. (Would you?)

3. Party or Wake: It seems to me that Trump supporters are planning for the world’s biggest party on election night whereas Clinton supporters seem to be preparing for a funeral. I want to be invited to the event that doesn’t involve crying and moving to Canada. (This issue isn’t my biggest reason.)

4. Clinton’s Health: To my untrained eyes and ears, Hillary Clinton doesn’t look sufficiently healthy – mentally or otherwise – to be leading the country. If you disagree, take a look at the now-famous “Why aren’t I 50 points ahead” video clip. Likewise, Bill Clinton seems to be in bad shape too, and Hillary wouldn’t be much use to the country if she is taking care of a dying husband on the side.

5. Pacing and Leading: Trump always takes the extreme position on matters of safety and security for the country, even if those positions are unconstitutional, impractical, evil, or something that the military would refuse to do. Normal people see this as a dangerous situation. Trained persuaders like me see this as something called pacing and leading. Trump “paces” the public – meaning he matches them in their emotional state, and then some. He does that with his extreme responses on immigration, fighting ISIS, stop-and-frisk, etc. Once Trump has established himself as the biggest bad-ass on the topic, he is free to “lead,” which we see him do by softening his deportation stand, limiting his stop-and-frisk comment to Chicago, reversing his first answer on penalties for abortion, and so on. If you are not trained in persuasion, Trump look scary. If you understand pacing and leading, you might see him as the safest candidate who has ever gotten this close to the presidency. That’s how I see him.

So when Clinton supporters ask me how I could support a “fascist,” the answer is that he isn’t one. Clinton’s team, with the help of Godzilla, have effectively persuaded the public to see Trump as scary. The persuasion works because Trump’s “pacing” system is not obvious to the public. They see his “first offers” as evidence of evil. They are not. They are technique.

And being chummy with Putin is more likely to keep us safe, whether you find that distasteful or not. Clinton wants to insult Putin into doing what we want. That approach seems dangerous as hell to me.

6. Persuasion: Economies are driven by psychology. If you expect things to go well tomorrow, you invest today, which causes things to go well tomorrow, as long as others are doing the same. The best kind of president for managing the psychology of citizens – and therefore the economy – is a trained persuader. You can call that persuader a con man, a snake oil salesman, a carnival barker, or full of shit. It’s all persuasion. And Trump simply does it better than I have ever seen anyone do it.

The battle with ISIS is also a persuasion problem. The entire purpose of military action against ISIS is to persuade them to stop, not to kill every single one of them. We need military-grade persuasion to get at the root of the problem. Trump understands persuasion, so he is likely to put more emphasis in that area.

Most of the job of president is persuasion. Presidents don’t need to understand policy minutia. They need to listen to experts and then help sell the best expert solutions to the public. Trump sells better than anyone you have ever seen, even if you haven’t personally bought into him yet. You can’t deny his persuasion talents that have gotten him this far.

In summary, I don’t understand the policy details and implications of most of either Trump’s or Clinton’s proposed ideas. Neither do you. But I do understand persuasion. I also understand when the government is planning to confiscate the majority of my assets. And I can also distinguish between a deeply unhealthy person and a healthy person, even though I have no medical training. (So can you.)

Absolutely excellent!  I have a new blog to follow.  Thanks for sharing K2. 

And just to give you an idea…when I click on his blog link…which takes you to the most recent post, this is what you get…
THE WALL AROUND ISIS
I can’t wait to read it.

Any of you with half a mug (or half a happy meal) knows that coffee is something we here at DL/LL Digital Media Enterprises take extremely seriously. A fairly compelling argument could be made that this place literally runs on the stuff and they’d probably be correct. At any given time a blood sample from either Impish or I would be likely to show blood in our liquid caffeine.

Unfortunately with all the hub bub of late National Coffee Day caught us both by surprise so I’m hastily (between sips of brewed Brown Gold and mixing up a fresh batch or Brown Gold grounds so I can brew enough for both Impish and I to celebrate with) slapping together this short special for you guys.

 

 

(CNN)Go ahead, have another cup of coffee. This week’s mug runneth over with days devoted to the beverage that wakes up nations and keeps industries humming.

According to Internet sages and the arbiters of faux holidays, September 29 is Coffee Day (also known as National Coffee Day or International Coffee Day).

The origins of this day of caffeinated celebration are largely unknown, but who needs an origin story to justify that second, third or fourth cup?

Coffee purveyors are offering freebies to mark the occasion.

Among them, Dunkin’ Donuts is selling medium-sized cups of coffee for 66 cents — a nod to their 66th anniversary.

Krispy Kreme is upping the ante with a free glazed doughnut and a free 12-ounce cup of coffee at participating locations in the US.

According to the intergovernmental International Coffee Organization, October 1 2015 was the “first official” International Coffee Day.

Statistics suggest that coffee-loving Finns will outdo the rest of the world.

Finland is No. 1 in the world for coffee consumption per capita, according to data collected by market research provider Euromonitor International. On average, each person in Finland consumed 9.9 kilograms (21.8 pounds) of coffee in 2014.

Sweden, the Netherlands, Norway and Slovenia round out the top five coffee-consuming nations.

The United States didn’t even break the top 10, ranking 25th for coffee consumption in 2014. Americans consumed 3.1 kilograms (6.8 pounds) of coffee per capita last year, the same amount as the citizens of France.

Italians consumed slightly more: 3.4 kilograms (7.5 pounds), coming in at No. 21 on the global list.

 

In case you needed yet another reason to celebrate coffee, National Coffee Day is today, Thursday, September 29th. As expected, several big coffee and donut chains are serving up all sorts of free coffee and offering other coffee deals to mark the caffeinated occasion. And while you can’t just walk into a Starbucks and stick your head under the espresso machine (ouch), there are plenty of freebies that’ll leave you sufficiently hopped up the stuff like Kramer in no time.

Here’s our running list of free coffee deals and other promotions from several popular chains:

Free coffee deals

Krispy Kreme
The deal: Krispy Kreme does not mess around when it comes to National Coffee Day. Like last year, they’ll give you a free small coffee and a free classic glazed donut at participating locations, according to a press release. Best of all, you don’t have to buy anything.
When: All day.

Cumberland Farms
The deal: You can score a free Farmhouse Blend or Bold coffee — hot or iced — in any size from this convenience chain just by texting FREECOFFEE to 64827 and showing the coupon you’ll receive on your phone.
When:  All day.

The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf
The deal: Walk into any Coffee Bean location (except for franchise locations) and you’ll walk out with a free shot of espresso if you download the chain’s new mobile app. Some Coffee Bean stores are also handing out free coffee tumblers and offering the chance to win free brewed coffee for a year.
When: All day.

Wawa
The deal: The beloved convenience store chain’s deal is delightfully simple. Visit any of its more than 730 locations and you can grab a free coffee in any size. As many times as you want.
When: All day.

Peet’s Coffee
The deal: Just like last year, participating Peet’s locations will give you a free medium brewed coffee, but only if you buy a fresh food item (in other words, something that’s not packaged) while you’re there.
When: All day.

Sheetz
The deal: Flash your My Sheetz Card at the register and you’ll be rewarded with a free small cold brew coffee. Don’t have a My Sheetz Card? Just ask for one when you check out.
When: All day.

McDonald’s
The deal: This is a tricky one, folks. While some McDonald’s locations appear to be offering free coffee deals in some regions, the fast food giant hasn’t announced a nationwide deal. For example, McDonald’s locations in the New York Tri-State area will give you a free small cup of hot or iced coffee if you present the local offer via the McDonald’s mobile app. With that said, you should call your local McDonald’s to see if they’re offering a deal before showing up and demanding free coffee.
When: All day.

Other coffee deals

Dunkin’ Donuts
The deal: While not exactly free, your local Dunkin’ location will serve you any medium cup of coffee for just 66 cents — in celebration of the donut chain’s 66 years of serving the brown stuff.
When: All day.

Starbucks
The deal: Starbucks announced that it will donate one rust-resistant coffee tree to farmers in need for every cup of Mexico Chiapas coffee it sells at participating stores in the US on National Coffee Day.
When: All day.

Caribou Coffee
The deal: Caribou is also celebrating the occasion by giving back. The company will donate a cup of coffee to caregivers at support centers and hospitals across the country for every cup of Amy’s Blend coffee is sells on National Coffee Day.
When: All day.

LaMar’s Donuts
The deal: Buy a 16oz collector’s travel mug for $1.19 and the donut chain will fill it with coffee for free.
When: All day. 

Le Pain Quotidien
The deal: This Belgian bakery and cafe chain is offering half off any size regular coffee at its locations across the US.
When: All day.

Bruegger’s Bagels
The deal: You can win one of five Bruegger’s Bottomless Mugs (with at least $185) by visiting a Bruegger’s location and posting a selfie with your Bruegger’s coffee cup and the hashtags #BrueggersMugShot and #contest on Twitter or Instagram.
When: All day. 

Keurig
The deal: If you’re willing to settle for coffee pod coffee, Keurig is offering 20% off some of its Green Mountain Coffee pods like Breakfast Blend, Nantucket Blend, Hazelnut, and more when you use the code “GREENSAVINGS” at checkout. The same code will also get you 15% off select other Green Mountain Coffee varieties like The Original Donut Shop.
When: September 29th through October 2nd. 

Turning coffee waste into clean energy

Who would have expected the Brits with all that tea drinking to be ahead of everyone else with a way to turn used coffee grounds into something green and practical? See the video here: http://www.cnn.com/2016/09/29/us/national-international-coffee-day/

Ah, the perfect cup of java.  According to an expert cupper (a professional coffee taster), there are four components of a perfect cup: aroma, body, acidity, and flavor.

From the moment the average coffee lover opens a fresh bag of coffee beans, the aroma beckons, percolating the senses. Even those who don’t drink coffee tend to enjoy the fragrance a roasted bean casts.

When determining the body of a coffee, the bean, the roast, and the brew are all factors. The bean affects the texture of the coffee, whether its silky, creamy, thick or thin on the tongue and throat. However, the darker the roast and how it is brewed will alter the feel of a coffee’s body, too. Grandpa’s motor oil blend versus the coffee shop around the corner’s silky smooth, well-practiced grind have entirely different bodies.

The region a coffee is grown determines its acidity. The higher the elevation the coffee grows, the higher the quality and the acidity. These coffees are considered brighter, dryer, even sparkling by cuppers.

When it comes down to it, coffee lovers cherish the flavor as well as the caffeinated boost this roasted bean gives morning or night, black or with cream and sugar. Hot or cold it provides enjoyment even when decaffeinated!

There are many legendary accounts of how coffee first came to be, but the earliest credible evidence of either coffee drinking or the knowledge of the coffee tree appears in the middle of the 15th century in the Sufi monasteries around Mokha in Yemen.  It was here coffee seeds were first roasted and brewed, much like they are prepared today. Yemeni traders brought coffee back to their homeland from Ethiopia and began to cultivate the seed.

In 1670, coffee seeds were smuggled out of the Middle East by Baba Budan, as he strapped seven coffee seeds onto his chest.  The first plants grown from these smuggled seeds were planted in Mysore.  It was then that coffee spread to Italy, to the rest of Europe, to Indonesia and the Americas.

Brazil produces more coffee in the world than any other country followed by Colombia.  More than 50 countries around the world grow coffee, providing a delicious variety for the indulgence of steamy cups of the black drink for connoisseurs to consume.

Oops! Pot is done…gotta go! Where that Bailey’s at and someone get some donuts in here past Impish.