But it has been a long week.
It never ceases to amaze me that I can be out of the office for one day and I have two days worth of work and messages that I come back to. That wouldn’t be so bad, but it becomes a geometric progression from there. Like this:
1 Day Gone = 2 Days of Work
2 Days Gone = 4 Days of Work
3 Days Gone = 16 Days of Work
4 Days = 32 Days of work
You see what’s going on here, right?
By the time you get to seven days (and yeah, I didn’t really miss seven days of work, because the weekends aren’t really work days, but the way it works is that once you hit 4 days, you enter a dimension where ALL days count as work days, and it comes at you harder and faster than you can even imagine.) (Trust me! I know!) … where was I?…Oh yeah, by the time you get to seven (7) days, you come back to an incredible two-hundred, fifty-six (256) days worth of work piled up on your desk.
Oh man, my desk.
My desk was horrible.
I know…you’re looking at that and thinking, well, that’s not so bad. Well, I’m not being completely honest with you. That picture was taken on Thursday….afternoon. Four days after I had returned.
So, as you can see, I REALLY need some laughs! So, let’s just jump right in and say:
See! See! Even the darn cartoons get to play with explosives! I am still so disappointed.
Okay, the teaser for this was “The Most Bizarre Thing You’ll See All Day.” Now, to me, that’s a pretty heavy boast. But, this comes pretty damn close. So… Challenge Accepted!
This chicken named Charlie runs around wearing a pair of blue pants. Looks like Charlie wears the pants in this farm yard.
So, I’m not nominating this for being more bizarre than the first one, but it is pretty weird. This young 8 year old Australian golf phenom accidently takes out a drone.
Okay, so not bad…
Here’s another one that I like a lot. It would make a really good tattoo. Maybe trade out the chalice for something else. But, I do like it.
Respect! That’s what this next ….essay? … letter? … whatever … that’s what they get: respect! This is priceless! You MUST respect the craft and this person, whoever they are, certainly know their craft! I would LOVE to find out that this is all true.
The Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife sent some homeowners a letter.
ODFW Staff will be conducting surveys and recon for Foothill Yellow-Legged Frogs & other amphibians over the next few months in Clackamas County. As part of these surveys and research being conducted by the State of Oregon, we would like to access and survey the creek on your property. I am writing this letter to request your permission as the land owner for ODFW staff to enter upon your property and conduct the State’s surveys and research.
Recent research indicates that the population of Foothill Yellow-Legged Frogs has declined significantly in recent years and such species are no longer found at half of their historic sites. Your cooperation will be greatly appreciated and will help contribute to the conservation of this important species.
Please fill out, date and sign the attached postage-paid postcard and let us know if you are willing to allow the State of Oregon, Department of Fish and Wildlife to enter upon your property in order to perform this important environmental work. If you have any questions or concerns about this project, please call Thomas Vanderzanden in our Portland Office at (503) 227.7712 extension 224. Thank you in advance for your anticipated cooperation in this matter.
Conservation Strategy Implementation Biologist,
State of Oregon, Department of Fish and Wildlife
********RESPONSE FROM LANDOWNERS: ********
Dear Mr. Niemela:
Thank you for your inquiry regarding access to our property in Clackamas,
Oregon to survey for the Yellow-Legged Frog. We may be able to help
you and the State of Oregon with this endeavor.
We have divided our 2.26 acres into 75 equal survey units with a draw tag for each unit. Application fees are only $8.00 per unit after you purchase the “Frog Survey License” ($120.00 resident / $180.00 Non-Resident). You will also need to obtain a “Frog
Habitat” parking permit ($10.00 per vehicle). You will also need an “Invasive Species” stamp ($15.00 for the first vehicle and $5.00 for each add ’l vehicle) You will also want to register at the Check Station to have your vehicle inspected for non-native plant life prior to entering our property. There is also a Day Use fee, $5.00 per vehicle.
If you are successful in the Draw, you will be notified two weeks in
advance so you can make necessary plans and purchase your “Creek Habitat” stamp. ($18.00 Resident / $140.00 Non-Resident). Survey units open between 8am and 3pm but you cannot commence survey until 9am and must cease all survey activity by 1pm.
Survey Gear can only include a net with a 2″ diameter made of 100% organic cotton netting with no longer than an 18″ handle, non-weighted and no deeper than 6′ from net frame to bottom of net. Handles can only be made of BPA-free plastics or wooden handles. After 1pm you can use a net with a 3″ diameter if you purchase the “Frog Net Endorsement” ($75.00 Resident / $250 Non-Resident). Any frogs captured that are released will need to be released with an approved release device, tagged and put back into
the environment unharmed.
By the way, as of June 1, we are offering draw tags for our “Premium Survey” units and application is again only $8.00 per application.
However, all fees can be waived if you are related in any way to Elizabeth Warren or can verify “Native Indian” tribal rights and status.
Finally, you will also need to provide evidence of successful completion of “Frog Surveys and You”, a comprehensive course on frog identification, safe handling practices, and self-defense strategies for frog attacks. This course is offered online through an accredited
program for a nominal fee of $750.00.
Please let us know if we can be of assistance to you.
Otherwise, we decline your request for access to our property but appreciate your inquiry.
Larry & Amanda Anderson.
A true master
Okay, so that, to me, is a GREAT segue into our …
I kinda like Broomstick 1. That way you get to read SO much more into it.
Can anyone find anything wrong with this set up? Does this not sound like perfection?
So, our dear friend, fellow camper and fellow library enhancer K2 sent this one in. All I can say is “OUCH!” The truth hurts!
One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and shouts, “We are invading the United States of America to reclaim the territory taken by the U.S. during the 1800’s.”
The entire crew on the destroyer doubles over in laughter. When the Captain finally catches his breath, he gets back on the loudspeaker and asks, “Just the four of you?”
The same Mexican stands up again and shouts, “No, we’re the last four. The other 12 million are already there!”
And I repeat my earlier statement: “OUCH!”
Well, that is definitely one way of finding out what everyone thinks.
I have this one blown up and put on the wall in my office. It tells me that to find the right person for the job, to find the person that is to blame, to find the person that needs to do something (as in: “Somebody needs to do something!”) that I need to look inside first.
I really like it.
I have heard versions of this joke with Irish men, Polish, Baptists, …. you get the point. And here it is with two of our favorite opponents.
Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump go into a bakery. As soon as they enter the bakery, Hillary steals three pastries and puts them in her pocket.
She says to Donald, “See how clever I am? The owner didn’t see anything and I don’t even need to lie.” I will definitely win the election.
The Donald says to Hillary,”That’s the typical dishonesty you have displayed throughout your entire life, trickery and deceit. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result.”
Donald goes to the owner of the bakery and says, “Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick.”
Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry. Trump swallows it and asks for another one. The owner gives him another one. Then Donald asks for a third pastry and eats that, too. The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, “What did you do with the pastries?”
Trump replies, “Look in Hillary’s pocket.”
You just can’t please some people.
Anyone who’s ever owned a cat…let me change that. You don’t EVER OWN a cat. At best, they allow you to be a guest in their house as long as it’s convenient to them. Anyway, if you’ve ever been in a non-reciprocal relationship with a cat, you know that this is actually the height of “praise” for them. The cat is basically saying that you are worth feeding and you are worth giving special gifts to.
I know guys that are just like that.
I know! Unbelievable, right?
Yeah, I know people like this, too. In fact, I’ve worked with some.
That’s for people who’ve never met Ninja kitties.
I don’t know….I looked a lot longer than 30 seconds and never did see a beach.
That is actually the vision statement of DL&LL Electronic Media Managerial Company.
And a whole lot of bad men, too.
I checked with my favorite Marine Brother and he told me that this isn’t really a TRUE representation of Marine Beer Pong, but it’s as close as a wing=nut like me could handle or understand. He didn’t elaborate.
I found this outstandingly interesting. I had no idea that he even had a blog. Come to find out he’s a peer, at least age wise. So, I present to you an excellent essay by one of my favorite comic authors.
You may or may not recognize his name, but you recognize his creation. I’m talking about Scott Adams and my cubicle hero Dilbert. So here is: