Dragon Laffs

Good Morning Campers,

Okay, here’s the deal.  This is probably going to be a short issue.  Thursday have become problematic for me.  I’m not sure why.  Might be because I’m now playing darts on Monday AND Tuesday nights … at least for the next couple of weeks.  Might be because work has taken a turn for the worse.  Might be because Mrs. Dragon has taken a turn for the worse.  (Not that she is in any danger or anything, just that her blood pressure is acting up and it’s driving us both crazy).  But, here it is again Wednesday, it’s already late and I’m just now getting this issue started.  So, I’ll throw you guys some jokes, some cartoons, apologize profusely, we’ll call it an issue and hope for better over the weekend…except I’m working again this weekend  and oh my great aunt bugbear, will it ever end!!!

I need a clone.

Or I need Izzy Dragon to start doing one or two of these a week.

You guys couldn’t handle that left wing, anti-social teenager and her memes and opinions.  I might just throw her at you just to see how many of you run screaming from the campground never to be seen again.

Or …

Maybe even better …

See how long it takes you to band together —- maybe even with pitchforks and torches —- and chase her into a windmill and burn it to the ground.  Wouldn’t that be something.

Hmmmmm food for dragon thought.

Whilst I consider me options, let’s get this party started.

I read the above to Izzy Dragon and she laughed maniacally and said, “Challenge Accepted…but you have to pay me to do it.” So, I’m not really sure how this will work out.

Thanks to Dan T for this great book cover …

Some days it’s not even worth chewing through the restraints.

Oh my Gawd, NO!!!!!

I really think it’s time to take the warning labels off of everything and let stupidity work itself out of the gene pool.

“Kiss me, you fool!”

We just got a special emergency warning coming in …. stand by …. stand by …

Shit we’re screwed.

Help Desk:  Trying to explain to a customer that there’s no such thing as an upper case number in her password.

 

“How many times do I have to tell you to clean this damn place up?!” — abusive husband — needs his ass kicked.

Aaaannnddd another dumbass who needs her ass kicked.

Headline:  Jars of human tongues discovered under Florida man’s home

If I offered you $100,000 to jump out of a plane with no parachute, would you do it? — I bet you said No, didn’t you? — But what if I told you the plane was on the ground?  Moral of the story?  Know all the facts before you open your mouth.

And I’ll bet dollars to donuts that these guys are weapons troops.

I got a great lawn mowing story from Pete …

Tried to mow the lawn today, but the lawn mower was having none of it. I put the battery on a charger in the morning, but it wasn’t charging. So I put a tester on it. Dead.

I drove over to the garage in the afternoon to get a new battery, then went to install it. But when I tried, one of the terminals was really corroded and broke off. And despite having a big box of terminal parts, none of ’em fit.

So I decided the correct response was “beer.”

It’s not like the grass is going anywhere….

And that’s it for today.  Sorry if it’s a bit short.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

Good Morning Campers,

I hope every one of you mothers out there, had a great Mother’s Day yesterday.  I can’t tell you what kind of Mother’s Day Mrs. Dragon had because it actually hasn’t happened yet.  I’m writing this on Saturday morning, to hopefully have it completed for you by Monday.  That’s the plan, anyway.  What I have planned for Mother’s Day is steaks on the grill and a relaxing day for Mrs. Dragon.  Izzy Dragon has something planned … as she should … but I don’t know what it is. 

Anyway, let’s see where this weekend takes us.  I’m going to take Mrs. Dragon out shopping here in a little while, so that ought to be fun.  But, in the mean time, let’s get some laughing in, cause I think I’m going to need it.

Now I lay me down to sleep

Beside my bed a gun I keep

And if I wake and you’re inside

The Coroners van will be your last ride.

Thanks to Lynn for sending us this artistic essay of what it looks like when Dad or Grandpa takes care of the baby …

Okay, I’ve fallen asleep with a baby on my chest … but that’s about it. 

Bozo criminal for today comes from Hackensack, New Jersey where bozo Richard Zoller went to visit a friend in jail. The Bozo’s first mistake was when he parked in a space reserved for the warden. When the warden arrived for work and found someone in his space, he ran a quick check on the license tag and found our bozo had an outstanding traffic warrant. So, the bozo was called into the warden’s office. As the warden was explaining the trouble he was in, our bozo fell asleep. Right there in the chair in front of the warden. This made the cops a little suspicious and a quick check of the bozo’s car found four bags of heroin, in plain sight in the front seat. The bozo was arrested and the car towed out of the warden’s spot.

And that’s what happens when you force the future.

I got so drunk last night, I walked across the dance floor to get another drink and won the dance contest.

Here’s another great website from our dear friend Stephanie … it’s called: One Hilarious Pic To Sum Up Each American State: https://www.ebaumsworld.com/pictures/states-summed-up-in-one-picture/85216290/

And Mrs. Dragon and I laughed our silly little asses off while looking at them.  Some of them are dead on perfect.

Bozo criminal for today comes from Columbus, Ohio where bozo Clint Grissom walked into a local bank and got in line at one of the teller’s windows. When it was finally his turn, the bozo handed the teller a brown paper bag and told her to fill it with cash, which she did. It was only when he turned to leave that he noticed who was standing behind him…Officer James Marsh of the Columbus police department who arrested him on the spot.

This does not surprise me.

Survival Tip:  If your girlfriend catches you looking at another woman, turn to her and say, “I’m glad you don’t dress like that.”

The often seen and seldom recognized tree dragon …

Yes, I support renewable energy …

It’s called coffee.

My therapist set half a glass of water in front of me.  He asked me if I was an optimist or a pessimist.  So, I drank the water and told him I was a problem solver. ~ Unknown

(Make mine a Jameson’s ~ Impish Dragon)

“Nag, nag, nag!  Get off my back, bitch!”

Here’s another nice essay sent in by Lynn…

On June 16, 1903, the Ford Motor Company was established. Henry Ford was the founder. This was not his first rodeo, as he had previously operated the Henry Ford Company. He left that company and took his name with him. What became of the Henry Ford Company? They became known as the Cadillac Motor Company.

What does any of this have to do with the photo of a BBQ grill? Hang on.

Ford’s Model T, which would number in the millions sold, required 100 board feet of wood to build. Ford despised waste. His motto was, “Reduce, reuse, and recycle.” He was also a nature-lover, an environmentalist of his time. His escape from the stress of life was camping in the great outdoors. 

Frustrated by the mountains of sawdust his lumber mills created, he and his partners sought a way to utilize the scrap wood and sawdust into a useful (and profitable) product. 

An idea came to him one day as he was camped with some friends in the wilds of Michigan . After his party spent a long time collecting sufficient wood for a campfire, an idea sprang in Ford’s mind. Upon returning back to the lumber mill, he shared the idea with some of his partners and set to work on it.

The idea? Lumping a fistful of sawdust and cornstarch with a bit of tar to form a briquette. After charring it, it performed exactly what Ford imagined it would. He then built a charcoal briquette factory adjacent to his lumber mill where the waste from one became the fuel for the other. 

A new Model T was now frequently sold with a bonus bag of Ford Charcoal Briquettes, so you could drive into the woods to camp and not worry about finding campfire wood. 

So now you know. Ford not only created the modern automobile industry which takes millions to work and back each workday, but he also created the weekend grilling and camping industries. 

In 1951, the Ford Charcoal Briquette Company was sold. The new company was named after Ford’s real estate partner who helped him find the land to supply wood for building the early Ford automobiles- E.J. Kingsford. 

Kingsford Charcoal is the largest producer of charcoal briquettes in the world. 

Thanks Lynn.  Quite an interesting story!

There’s an island full of wild monkeys off the coast of South Carolina called Morgan Island, and it’s not open to humans.

Okay, let’s get into this today.  You guys have sent in quite a few of these, so let’s do this …

And it’s because they know that illegals are 100 times more likely to vote democrat than the children of veterans are!  It has nothing to do with right or wrong, just with what is going to give them votes, and THAT’S what wrong with this country!

Democrats today are saying that no one, even the President, is above the law.  So, my question is, how come illegals are?

I’ll wait …

There is no “might” about it.  You ARE a dumbass!

And that goes for everyone of you stupid motherfuckers kneeling for the National Anthem!!!  If you haven’t been there, you don’t have that right!

A Mexican cannot vote in Mexico without a valid ID.  He must come to AMERICA to do that. 

Let that sink in …

Only a fool would give up a weapon in order for the government to protect them.  The government cannot even stop a telemarketer.

So, if pipeliners can just go “find another job” then welfare recipients can too, right?

As nice as that would be, 99.9% of the police and first responders really couldn’t care less how you personally feel.  They are going to protect and defend to the very best of their ability regardless of your personal or political feelings and beliefs.  But, oh, wouldn’t it be nice if you could track the snowflakes and when the bad guys do come a-knocking, let them know that their counselor will be there when they get to them …

And that’s it for today my friends.  I hope you enjoyed the fun.  Love and happiness to you all.  Until we meet again.

Good Morning Campers,

Yup … I missed Thursday.  That’s because … you guessed it … another week from hell.  You’d have thought, that with my plans spoiled of not going out of town, that I would have had all kinds of free time, but nooooo!

Sigh!

What does it take for a dragon to get a little free time?

Well, as it turns out, I took some time.  I’m taking a bit of a long weekend this weekend so that I can get caught up on a free life things like, grocery shopping, sleeping, you know, luxuries like that.  Besides, this weekend is Mother’s Day and we’re going to try and do something special for Mrs. Dragon.  If she’s feeling up to it.  We shall see.

But, for you guys, that means that maybe … MAYBE … I can get a fairly decent issue sent out and satisfy some of your laughter addiction that I’m sure, by now, has become a little overwhelming.  I can see some of you out there in the campground, scratching that itch, rubbing your arms, reading the comics on the inside of the bazooka Joe bubble gum wrapper, trying to get a laugh wherever you can.

But, have no fear, Impish Dragon is here.  And he will satisfy your laughter hunger, at least for a little while.

So, let’s get started and see where this wonderful ride takes us, shall we?

Okay, I’m a fan of darts, but not sure I would get this as a tattoo.  Why would you get a tattoo of such a low score and put the dart in the double twenty instead of the triple twenty?

Nope, not coughing … and for what it IS demonstrating, a mask would just get in the way.

If you throw a boning knife at one of my dart boards I will kick your ass!

Just sayin’…

As good as this bar is,” said the Scotsman, “I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there’s a wee place called McTavish’s where the landlord goes out of his way for the locals – when ye buy four drinks, he buys ye the fifth.”
“Well, Angus,” said the Englishman, “at the Red Lion in London, the barman will buy your third drink after you buy two.”
“Ahhh, dat’s nootin’,” said the Irishman, “back home in me favorite pub, the moment you set foot in the place they’ll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like, actually.  Then, when you’ve had enough drinks, they’ll take you upstairs and see dat you gets laid, all on the house!”
The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of the claims. “Did this actually happen to you?”
“Not meself, personally, no,” admitted the Irishman, “but it did happen to me sister quite a few times.”

I have actually used that exact cooking technique.

Some Dragon Riders are just naturally better than others.

Mrs. Dragon: “My eyes!  My eyes!  They’re bleeding!”

So, I was on the I-65 and decided to stop and take a little nap … and then, this crap!

“Did you really just say, ‘Come on, baby, light my fire?’  Really?”

Burglar:  [points gun at me] Alright buddy, just show me where your valuables are and I won’t hurt you.

Me:  Ha, ha.  Sure thing dude.  ALEXA, CALL THE POLICE!

Alexa:  Shuffling songs by The Police

[Roxanne plays as I get shot 16 times]

“Heh!  Amateur!” ~ Impish DRAGON

And the disappearance of baby dragons is explained once and for all.

I think I even found what they are giving away …

Well, crap!  Here’s another one!  They’re friggin’ everywhere!

If you succeed in cheating someone, don’t think that the person is a fool.  Realize that the person trusted you much more than you deserved.

And that’s not even all of us!

J.R.R. Tolkien was a fucking genius!

I was in a bar the other night and overheard three very hefty women talking.  Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so I approached and asked, “Hello, ladies are you three lassies from Scotland?”

One of them angrily screeched, “It’s Wales, you bloody idiot, Wales!”

So, I apologized and replied, “I am so sorry.  Are you three whales from Scotland?”

And that’s the last thing I remember.

What in the world makes you think that we’re more realistic than a non-crazy girlfriend?

Western Michigan is home to a giant lavender labyrinth so big you can see it on Google Earth.

Failure is unimportant.  It takes courage to make a fool of yourself. ~ Charlie Chaplin

Every single fucking day!

Bozo criminal for today comes from Roseburg, Oregon where bozo Tamara Mills was arrested and charged with setting 34 fires in national forests. Now, our girl Tamara… she’s not just another fire bug. Oh, no. She worked for the U.S. Forest Service as a fire prevention expert. Her reason for setting those fires – so she could earn overtime pay when called to put them out.  Sounds an awful lot like job security to me.

Not really that much politically today … but let’s see where it leads us.

This is probably very true.  I’m still sticking with my Jameson cure.

Yup!  Go back inside.

And after 2020, the average is probably twice that.

And I need to put this sign up outside MY office:

Seniors have bills and obligations too.  If we’re going to double the minimum wage, shouldn’t we double Social Security also?

A new study found that people who take their coffee black are more likely to exhibit psychopathic traits.

And people who order a quad shot, non-fat, vanilla soy, extra foam, light whip with caramel drizzle are more likely to be their victims.

Yup, it’s true.  The do taste a little sweet when I eat them!

Oh that’s subtle…

All dogs are therapy dogs.

The majority are just freelancing.

I sympathize with batteries …

I’m never included with anything, either.

I think that’s a GREAT idea!  That ought to get a whole bunch of dumb sons-a-bitches off the street.

The Five Stages of Winter:

Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
April

I should do that!

Respect your parents…

They passed school without Google.

Kids today don’t know how good they have it.  When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet, through shag carpet to change the TV channel.

This one is truly amazing!!!! The BEST rendition of Foggy Mountain Breakdown ever.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXDTWPH8Dss

Thanks to Stephanie for sending this in.

And before we end for today, let’s do this …

Thanks to Stephanie for sending this one along to all of us Campers.

I have to admit, I had to look twice before I saw the difference.  That      is     subtle.  Thanks again dear Stephanie.

And with that, we’re going to call it an issue…a nice LONG issue.  I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.  Love and happiness to you all!

Good Morning Campers,

Although it’s actually tomorrow … if this issue comes out on time, and the way my weekend is going, it’s not 100% sure whether it will or not, Star Wars Day is May 4th, Tuesday, the day after our normal Monday issue.  It’s been a really long, hard weekend.  I think I may be getting too old to be doing this two days of teaching stuff anymore.  Or maybe something else is going on.  Not sure.  But it sure was a long, painful weekend, that’s for damn sure.

Anyway, Star Wars Day…why is it called Star Wars Day, cause … May the 4th be with you?  Yuck, yuck, yuck!  I know, I know.  But, Wikipedia has this to say about the whole thing:

Star Wars Day, May 4, celebrates George Lucas‘s Star Wars media franchise. Observance of the commemorative day spread quickly through media and grassroots celebrations.^[1][2]

The date was chosen for the pun on the catchphrase “May the Force be with you” as “May the Fourth be with you”. Even though the holiday was not created or declared by Lucasfilm, many Star Wars fans across the world have chosen to celebrate the holiday.^[3] It has since been embraced by Lucasfilm and parent company Disney as an annual celebration of Star Wars.

The first recorded reference was the phrase being first used on May 4, 1979, the day Margaret Thatcher took the job as Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. An online news article from the Danish public broadcaster says her political party, the Conservatives, placed a congratulatory advertisement in The London Evening News, saying “May the Fourth Be with You, Maggie. Congratulations.”^[4]

The saying was used in a UK Parliament defence debate on May 4, 1994.^[5]

Astrophysicist and author Jeanne Cavelos used the saying on page 94 of her 1999 book The Science of Star Wars.^[6]

In 2008, the first Facebook groups appeared, celebrating Luke Skywalker Day, with the same catchphrase.^[7]

In 2011, the first organized celebration of Star Wars Day took place in Toronto, Ontario, Canada at the Toronto Underground Cinema. Produced by Sean Ward and Alice Quinn, festivities included an Original Trilogy Trivia Game Show; a costume contest with celebrity judges; and the web’s best tribute films, mash-ups, parodies, and remixes on the big screen. The second annual edition took place on Friday, May 4, 2012.^[8][9][10]

Fans (even government officials, such as Boris Johnson^[11]) have celebrated Star Wars in a variety of ways in social media and on television.

Since 2013, The Walt Disney Company has officially observed the holiday with several Star Wars events and festivities at Disneyland and Walt Disney World.^[12][13] Disney had purchased Lucasfilm, including the rights to Star Wars, in late 2012.^[14] The finale of The Clone Wars was made available on Disney+ on May 4, 2020.^[15] Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, as well as an eight-episode documentary series titled Disney Gallery: The Mandalorian, were also made available on Disney+ the same day. A new animated series, Star Wars: The Bad Batch will also premiere on Disney+ on this day in 2021.

Minor League baseball teams such as the Toledo Mud Hens^[16] and the Durham Bulls^[17] have worn special uniforms as part of Star Wars Day promotions.

On Star Wars Day 2015, astronauts in the International Space Station watched Star Wars.^[18]

Also in 2015, the carillon bells inside the Peace Tower on Parliament Hill in Ottawa, Canada played “The Imperial March” theme from Star Wars, among other space-related tunes.^[19]

Revenge of the Fifth/Sixth[edit]

Some recognize the following day, May 5, as “Revenge of the Fifth“, a play on Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith and celebrate the Sith Lords and other villainous characters from the Star Wars series rather than the Jedi.^[20] Others celebrate this one day later, on May 6, citing “Revenge of the Sixth” as a better play on “Sith“, while others refer to the 6th as “Return of the 6th” as a play on the trilogy aspect of the Star Wars films.^[21][22][23]

I had never heard the bit about the Revenge of the Fifth/Sixth before … maybe I’m not as much of a nerd as I thought I was … Anyway, I suppose, after all of that, there really isn’t much else to say, other than … Happy Star Wars Day and …

Aaaaannnndddd…… they vote.

The Bozo criminal for today violated Bozo Rule number 4678: It’s best to keep a low profile when you’re a wanted man. Our story comes from Lewiston, Idaho where Bozo Allen Strebeck was set to get married at the county courthouse when a jail sergeant recognized him as a man named in an arrest warrant for failure to pay a fine. After the magistrate performed the ceremony, the officer confronted the bozo with the arrest warrant and was preparing to arrest him when members of the wedding party passed the hat and came up with enough money to pay the bozo’s fine.  Not so much of a Bozo story as a good friend and neighbor story.

I was born male at birth and I will identify as male, but according to Kraft macaroni and cheese … I am a family of four.

Now THAT is friggin’ tribute, baby!

“Okay, one more bedtime story sweetheart, and then you MUST go to bed.”

I don’t know how much truth there is in this, but this is about the third or fourth time I’ve gotten this same quote, so I guess it’s time for me to put it in the issue …

Yeah … I’m not a Nostradamus follower either, but if it is one of his predictions, it sure does feel like it’s hitting the nail right on the head.

And no … I’m not going to bother looking it up.

Damn!  I think I’ve used every single one of those … plus I’ve got a couple of extras …

In the future, sex robots will be virtually indistinguishable from humans.

The only way to know for sure will be to show your partner a collage right before sex and ask them to tell you which photos contain street signs.

Don’t leave your toys lying around.

Bro, I have 32 bit windows 7.  I need 64 bit to game.  How do I get 64 bit?  Will I get it if I install it twice?

Yes, Install it twice.  You’ll also get windows 14.

Yes we can!!!!! But, I  do believe I have played at this board.

If it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck, it’s a duck.

But, if if walks like a duck, but talks like a swan, it’s a narcissist.

Well … I know I’ve played on this board, too.

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Ken Rogers who sent along today’s story via the internet. From Los Angeles, California comes the story of the bozo criminal who just couldn’t get that car he wanted to steal to start. Police were called to a residence by the owner of the vehicle in question. He showed the cops how the bozo had scratched the car’s finish while using a coat hanger to open the door. He then showed the cops where the bozo had yanked the electrical wiring from under the dash in an attempt to hot wire the car. But, the car was still there. Why, wondered the officer, had the bozo not driven it away? With that, the car’s owner popped the hood and showed the officer the reason. The man had been re-building the car…and there was no engine under the hood.

Okay, NOW we’re playing darts …

Your job as a woman is to observe when your man is happy and immediately put a stop to that nonsense.

It would take you more than 400 years to spend a night in all of Las Vegas’s hotel rooms.

A co-worker said to me, “Could you be anymore annoying?”

So, the next day I wore Tap shoes to work.

Let’s start with something a bit on the patriotic side today, shall we?

“This afternoon I was coming up my street and I noticed a stopped USPS truck across from my house. It wasn’t until I was at my driveway that I realized the USPS driver was not in the truck, but rather standing at attention next to it, saluting the flag my neighbor was raising.

I stopped right there and grabbed my camera off the seat next to me, took off my hat, and captured the moment.

I then waited until the flag was fully raised before I walked over to introduce myself, asked him for his permission to share this moment, and thanked him for his service. But again, many thanks to retired U.S. Army sergeant Robert Franklin, who is still serving his country, rain sleet or snow. He is the manifestation of true patriotism, and I am proud to have met him.”

Credit: Michael Lempert

Mrs. Dragon’s dad was a mailman … and I can see him doing something like that.  He was also a Navy Vet.  So, I can definitely see him doing something like that.  Bravo Sgt Franklin and Mr. Lempert for passing it on to us.  Thanks.

Sen. John Kennedy:  If you support defunding police, ‘you have tested positive for stupid’

It’s scary when the weatherman is the closest one to telling the truth on the news right now.

‘Our streets are now so unsafe that it might be helpful to rewatch Clint Eastwood’s Dirty Harry films. They can remind us of an earlier period in the 1960s and 1970s when crime was widespread, liberal judges were putting criminals back on the streets and the entire justice system was anti-cop and pro-criminal.

There were four sequels to Dirty Harry, and they were not the popular culture’s only response to crime and an anti-police legal system. The most famous vigilante movie of the time was Death Wish, released three years later (1974) and starring Charles Bronson.

Like Dirty Harry, it was incredibly profitable—the domestic gross was more than five times its initial budget. It also led to four sequels.

The popular response to these cinematic attacks against criminals, which depicted utter contempt for the liberal, anti-cop, pro-criminal system, was reflective of the American people’s genuine fears about a society that was spinning out of control.

Ultimately, the violence and collapse of order would lead to the 1993 election of Rudy Giuliani as mayor of New York City. He ushered in bold, no-nonsense, practical steps that made New York amazingly safe and orderly.

Now, we are back in a pre-Dirty Harry world of nightly violence in Portland, the expectation that people will riot and loot after various events, and a level of daylight crime and violence that is frightening and ultimately unsustainable for a civilized country.We are in the middle of an enormous crime wave. The breadth of the violence and the decay of safety and civilization is unprecedented.

As it becomes clearer and clearer that the Left cannot solve the crime problem because it is creating the crime problem, a new generation of Giulianis will emerge and start dominating in the 2022 elections.’

“The budget should be balanced, the treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed, lest Rome becomes bankrupt. People must again learn to work instead of living on public assistance.”

By:    Cicero, 55 BC.

So, evidently, we have learned absolutely nothing over the past 2076 years.

This is for all the economics impaired people who when Biden’s press secretary, Jen Psaki defends this massive tax increases saying that the new spending should “be on the backs of the wealthiest Americans who can afford it and corporations and businesses who can afford it” say HELL YEAH.

The wealthy people of this Country did not get wealthy by paying half of their earnings to the government in taxes.  They have and will find ways to protect their wealth, legal and /or illegal ie, pulling out of job creating investments, hiding their money in off shore banking, finding the loopholes that politicians put in the laws for them and etc.  The wealthy WILL NOT be paying the “fair share” that is promised, period!

That leaves Corporations and Businesses to pay all of these trillions of dollars in taxes.  If you are smart enough to tie your shoes, you should know by now that Corporations and Businesses don’t pay taxes, they collect them.  They collect them FROM YOU!  They increase the price of their goods and services to pay those taxes and that causes a domino affect of higher prices all through out our economy, in EVERYTHING we buy.  So who is going to pay all those trillions of dollars in government spending, we are, mostly the middle class, just like always.  It’s time we stopped believing these liars that run this country, ALL of them! ~ Pete

We’ve been trying to tell you guys that for over a year.  YOU CAN’T TRUST THESE LIARS AND THEIVES.

And that, my dear friends, will do it for today.  I hope you all had as much fun as I did.  Love and happiness to you all.

Good Morning Campers,

Well, it’s been an interesting week.  Yes, it most certainly has!  I did not get to go to Washington D.C. to throw stones at the Capitol … which, if you think about it, is probably a really good thing.  I do have to share a really funny comment that I got from dear Stephanie.  She said: Was watching the news to see when DC would go down in flames. I had imagined you not being able to control the dragon when seeing how they quickly protect themselves instead of us.  Well Steph, it surely would have been tough.  That is the truth.

I am still working the weekend, though.  Teaching classes that I had someone else covering for me instead.  I will just spend some quality time with one of my reservist instructors.

I want to thank Donnie G for his wonderful contribution to Combat Cookies.  Not sure if any of the rest of you kicked in any bucks or not, but if so, you  didn’t leave any comments.  If not, I’d surely like you guys to throw them a buck or two.  You can click on the logo to the left of go here: https://www.combatcookies.org/  they sent me a really nice letter in thanks for the write up we gave them…

Sir,

Thank you so much!!!! That’s an absolutely fantastic shout out to us and we appreciate it!!! We also appreciate your donation and have received one other donation with a mention of your name. It is because of great people like you that we can continue our mission…and hopefully for a very long time. Sometimes I get down when I can’t get others to realize the importance of our mission. People are quick to talk about it but we rarely see action (monetary or even something as simple as spreading the word around to a larger audience). However, sometimes people like you come along and go the extra mile for Combat Cookies and it makes me very thankful that we do have others out there like us who not only talk the talk but put actions with their words. 

I also want to say I agree with your statement 100% about our police. We back the blue! This country is spiraling downward with this new movement of the radical left and it’s attempt to leave our morals and values in the dust. Your website is comical but also serious where it needs to be. I think it’s great your website does things to help our current military and our veterans. If only the majority of people in the world were more focused on helping others… 

Again, thank you so much for the shout out!!! It really makes me happy!!! 

Brandi
—
Combat Cookies
PO Box 222
Dayton, IN 47941
combatcookies2017@gmail.com
www.combatcookies.org
www.facebook.com/CombatCookies/

It’s nice of Brandi to write and let us know that we meant so much to her.  That’s polite, and sweet, and very professional.  So, thanks Brandi!

Anyway, let’s get to the parts that you guys like.  The laughter. And I’m sure some ranting, too.  But that will come at some point in time later.

Wow! Only in Genesee County! Man… You will not believe what just happened. I walked into Speedway to get a drink. When I walked up, I noticed these two officers watching some dude who was smoking while pumping gas. I saw him and thought, “This guy doesn’t have much common sense,” and “Is he stupid with the cops right there too?” But anyway, I went in and got my drink. As I was checking out I heard someone screaming. I looked outside and the guy’s arm was on fire! He was swinging his arm and running around, going crazy! I ran outside and the COPS had put him on the ground and were putting the fire out with their coffees. YES, THEIR COFFEES! Then they put handcuffs on him and threw him in the police car. I was thinking “He shouldn’t have been smoking near the pump while getting gas, and he needs medical attention.” However, being a little concerned (and nosy!) I asked the cops what they were arresting him for. The cop looked me straight in the eyes and said “WAVING A FIREARM!”

Biden admitted to cheating/plagiarizing in law school, but he rationalized that such dishonest conduct was not “malevolent” (did not hurt others).  Both in his speeches as an US Senator and as the Vice President of the United States, he reportedly lifted material from speeches by other politicians to use in his public addresses and he seemed to prevaricate – not tell the truth (according to even the mainstream media) when confronted about such allegations!!!

FINALLY SOMEONE POSTED Biden’s 47 years of accomplishments.

Joe Biden’s Political Career, year by year:

1973 Biden enters politics..
1974
1975
1976
1977 *Biden fights to keep schools segregated because in his own words, “allowing blacks to integrate would create a racial jungle” Fact check me.
1978
1979
1980
1981
1982
1983 *BIDEN Taxes Social Security*
1984
1985
1986
1987
1988 *Ran for president but had to end his campaign after getting busted for plagiarism.
1989
1990
1991
1992
1993 *BIDEN Taxes Social Security, AGAIN*
1994 ***Biden writes the “Stop and Frisk” law which is what blacks blame for “systemic racism” today. This law took millions of black men from their homes and transplanted them into prison. Way to go Joe. This was Biden’s biggest accomplishment in 47 years of elected office. Fact check me, it’s true.
1995
1996
1997 Hang on, not yet.
1998
1999
2000
2001
2002
2003 Still nothing…
2004
2005
2006
2007
2008 Calls Obama the first “articulate” and “clean” mainstream African-American, adding that Obama was well suited for a Presidential run because he is a light skinned African-American with no Negro dialect unless he wants to have one.
2009
2010
2011
2012 Nope, nothing yet.
2013
2014
2015
2016
2017
2018
2019
2020: NOW HE’S READY TO FIX THE COUNTRY, YEA RIGHT!!!

GOD HELP US ALL!!!

I’m looking up in the sky and I have no idea which cloud has all my data.

Baby pictures are so cute.  This is one of my grandkids…

If I was a plastic surgeon … I would 100% put a squeaky toy in every breast implant.

The officer said, “You’re staggering.”

I said, “You’re quite handsome yourself.”

We just laughed, and laughed.

I need bail money.

I still can’t believe that changing a picture on a box of pancake mix didn’t result in World Peace.

Okay, so one more story and then you have to go to bed … once upon a time, there was a blue dragon named Impish …

Classic Fact:  The Roman general and statesman Julius Caesar never once said “Thank You” in his entire life.

This is most likely because he did not speak English

I unfriended and blocked everyone who isn’t secretly a mystical creature pretending to be human.  So if you’re seeing this … I know.

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

We’re Adults.

When did that happen?

And how do we make it stop?

I am not mean, I am blunt.

Which means I will tell you the clear difference between a bit naïve and incredibly fucking stupid.

My new favorite quote and the end of the ezine for today … (cause I’ve run out of time, yet again) I have class to teach tomorrow and sleep is calling me.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon