Dragon Laffs

But this is what we’re doing today

I hope to add more as the week goes on. 12 to 14 hour shifts, but it’s the fun stuff this week!

Cheers!!

Impish

Good Morning Campers,

Okay … it’s happening an awful lot lately, but I’m starting off this morning and I’m pissed off … again!  I am calling out Mr. Biden especially, but also every single politician who is on this bandwagon.  Now, they are considering an interstate ban on travel, which means setting up borders between our states to stop people from traveling who are not vaccinated.  And yet you are still letting illegals come through the southern border who are sick, and giving them OUR benefits, OUR money, OUR housing!

HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!

WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

You were elected to represent US.  You were elected to support the American people.  And now you are going to set up borders between our free and open United States to check on a health condition you have NO RIGHT to even ask about while you allow sick and dangerous people into our country with no regard to the people you are supposed to be representing?

HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!

YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!

I didn’t vote for you and I hope that every single person who did feels shame right now.  That is the most un-American thing I have ever heard of in my entire life!  It is tantamount to demanding your papers or being put up against the wall and shot!

The mayor of New Orleans was just on TV bragging about how the restaurants in her communist town are now starting to ask people for their vaccination cards in order to get inside.  Bragging about it!  I gave up an awful lot of my rights to be in the military, but I did that voluntarily so that you wouldn’t have to do stupid shit like that.  My advice to every single person who is asked or even demanded to provide proof by anyone in a restaurant, store, or any other stupid location or by some Karen who is just being a pain in the ass, is a very simple, two-word answer.

FUCK YOU!

Oh my God, where do these people get the gall?  This is a FREE country!  Why are we so willingly giving up your freedoms?

WAKE UP AMERICA!

Now, I need to go put more alcohol in my coffee and then we can move on.  You guys start without me and I’ll catch up.

 

I wasn’t always this sarcastic.

It took me many years of dealing with assholes to become this good at it.

 

Okay, let’s get the nasty taste of bullshit out of things by talking about something really cool that our dear camper friend Lynn sent us.  (Lynn often sends us some really cool stuff).  This one is a really cool history lesson that I’ll bet you didn’t get taught in school.

This is one of the best stories.  Why are these not better known.  Makes it clear why the British and Americans share such a bond. 

THE OIL PATCH WARRIORS OF WORLD WAR II

Seventy-five years ago this month, a Band of Roughnecks went abroad on a top secret mission into Robin Hood’s stomping grounds to punch oil wells to help fuel England’s war machines.

  It’s a story that should make any oilman or woman proud.

  The year was 1943 and England was mired in World War II. U-boats attacked supply vessels, choking off badly needed supplies to the island nation. But oil was the commodity they needed the most as they warred with Germany.

  A book “The Secret of Sherwood Forest: Oil Production in England During World War II” written by Guy Woodward and Grace Steele Woodward was published in 1973, and tells the obscure story of the American oil men who went to England to bore wells in a top secret mission in March 1943.

  England had but one oil field, in Sherwood Forest of all places. Its meager output of 300 barrels a day was literally a drop in the bucket of their requirement of 150,000 barrels a day to fuel their war machines.

  Then a top secret plan was devised: to send some Americans and their expertise to assist in developing the field. Oklahoma based Noble Drilling Company, along with Fain-Porter signed a one year contract to drill 100 wells for England, merely for costs and expenses.

  42 drillers and roughnecks from Texas and Oklahoma, most in their teens and early twenties volunteered for the mission to go abroad. The hands embarked for England in March 1943 aboard the HMS Queen Elizabeth. Four National 50 drilling rigs were loaded onto ships but only three of them made landfall; the Nazi U-boats sank one of the rigs en route to the UK.

  The Brits’ jaws dropped as the Yanks began punching the wells in a week, compared to five to eight weeks for their British counterparts. They worked 12 hour tours, 7 days a week and within a year, the Americans had drilled 106 wells and England oil production shot up from 300 barrels a day to over 300,000

  The contract fulfilled, the American oil men departed England in late March 1944. But only 41 hands were on board the return voyage. Herman Douthit, a Texan derrick-hand was killed during the operation. He was laid to rest with full military honors, and remains the only civilian to be buried at The American Military Cemetery in Cambridge.

  “The Oil Patch Warrior,” a seven foot bronze statue of a roughneck holding a four foot pipe wrench stands near Nottingham England to honor the American oil men’s assistance and sacrifice in the war. A replica was placed in Ardmore Oklahoma in 2001

  It is by no means a stretch to state that without the American mission, we might all be speaking German today.

  Special thanks to the American Oil and Gas Historical Society.

“There are no noble wars, just noble warriors!”

Thanks for that cool story, Lynn.

Set for the afternoon

A Co-worker Almost Died In Front Of Me Today.

Then I took a drink of my coffee, calmed down, and put the sword back in my desk.

We are drowning in information

while starving for wisdom.

America:  You drive for four hours, you are still in the same part of the country.

UK:  You drive for two hours, the local accent has changed twice and bread rolls have a new name.

I hate it when healthy me does the grocery shopping because now fat me needs a snack.

I know guys like that.

Sadly, I know people like that, too.

My wife just gave birth today and after thanking the doctor, I pulled him aside and sheepishly asked, “How soon do you think we’ll be able to have sex?”  He winked at me and said, “I’m off duty in ten minutes, meet me in the parking lot.”

Um….I don’t think …

Friggin’ Ow!!!!

“Oh, scratch my back!  Right there!  A little to the left!  That’s it!  Ahhh!”

You know that feeling of anxiety as you’re about to walk past the security sensors on your way out of a store and you think, oh my God, did I shove a TV up my ass?  I can’t remember!

I was so suspicious and paranoid about my wife having an affair, that we moved to the Shetland Islands.

I couldn’t believe my luck when we still managed to keep the same window cleaner!

Things keep going the way they seem to be going and this is where me and the whole dragon family are moving to.  Anyone else want to join me?

 

 

If you die and get cremated, you can be put into an hourglass and still be included in family game night.

 

 

This is what an illegally taken picture from one of the Greta Giza Pyramids looks like.

All The Nations That Have To Be Combined To Be Equal To Brazil’s Annual Homicides

Husband:  I want you to have this bracelet.  It belonged to my grandmother.

Wife:  Why does it say, “Do not resuscitate?”

Starting on Monday, postmen will be working from home.  They will read all your letters and ring you if it’s anything important.

As I fold my third load of laundry I contemplate becoming a nudist.

Then I remember what I look like naked and keep folding.

“Where’s grandpa?”

Go buy a lottery ticket … Hell, go buy five of them!

You can only say, “What the fuck?” So many

times a day until you just decide to start

drinking.

My Therapist:  Why aren’t you being honest with me?

Me:  Because I don’t wanna be hospitalized …

If you want to thank me for my Military Service, vote for candidates that put Veterans before illegal aliens!

Student Loan Forgiveness Doesn’t Forgive The Loan!

It just transfers the loan to those who never asked for the loan, agreed to the loan, or benefitted from the loan!

Like I’ve been telling you … follow the money.  Oh, and by the way … I’m already seeing where the CDC is beginning to say where “some” people may need a third vaccine.  Now, if that doesn’t prove that the CDC is in the pocket of big pharma, I don’t know what does!

And that is pure, unadulterated bullshit!

Yeah, no shit!

It’s time when I see these kinds of human stupidity that I’m so glad I’m a dragon.

Sometimes I get Road Rage walking behind people in the Grocery Store.

A 10 year old girl asks her mom, “Mommy, how was I born?”

The mother smiled and replied, “Once upon a time, me and your daddy decided to plant a wonderful little seed.  Daddy put it in the Earth and I took care of it every single day.  After a while the seed started to grow more and more leaves and in a few months it turned into a beautiful healthy plant.  So, we took the plant, dried it, smoked it, and got so high that we forgot to wear a condom.”

Our Dear Friend and Fellow Camper Stephanie wrote a really good comment a few days ago that I just have to share with the rest of you guys that don’t read the comments on the site.  And it goes like this:

My prayers for the 3 of you. Getting old isn’t for wimps, that means there will be years ahead where very little social security is paid and only a few on Medicaid. The wimps will never survive backaches, grey hair, bladder leaks, sagging boobs, sexual dysfunctions, flabby abs, multiple falls, bad eyesight, twisted ankles, ingrown toenails, mustached females, man boobs, yada yada.
Today’s youth doesn’t have the stamina

OH MY GAWD!  I laughed so hard!  You are so right!  The kids today don’t stand a chance.  My aches and pains have aches and pains, but you still gotta get up and go and do every single day and laugh and smile while you are doing it.  They took away my pain pills several years ago and I’ve been toughing it out ever since.  Oh, I could go to a pain doctor every month, pay an exorbitant copay, and be treated like a drug seeking teenager and have to pee in a bottle every month and then have to pay a lab another ridiculous fee to have to listen to a doctor tell me that there are other things I can take other than opioids for my militarily beat up body.  Funny, I was on a GREAT regime of medication that cost me about $10 a month (generic opioids are cheap) for over ten years and felt great and had no problems.  Suddenly the country had an opioid problem and those of us who didn’t have a problem now had to suffer.  It was costing me $250 a month to go to the pain doctor and NOT getting the relief I needed.  So I said fuck it and went cold turkey and have been that way ever since.  And have been in pain ever since.  Nothing helps, you just get used to the pain.  There are good days and bad days and you try not to take it out on other people.

So, that was a lot more sharing than I expected.  But, as you might have guessed, right now is a bit of a bad day and things are getting to me a bit more than usual.  It doesn’t help that I’ve also got the news on while I’m writing this.  So, let’s go back to some laughter before calling it a day.

More businesses should be willing to do things like this next one:

In high school I dated a twin.  People would ask me how I could tell them apart.

Well, Julie wore bright red lipstick and Larry had a beard.

Gentleman, want to make your lady feel special?  Place her picture in the kitchen and write employee of the month.  She’ll love it!

Follow me for more relationship tips.

Um…I’m thinking that’s not going to work out the way you hope …

Talking about donations again for today’s Last Word.  And I can’t say enough great things about you guys.  You are truly wonderful people.  I’ve got a couple of new people to thank for their support.  Real quick, let me explain:

In order to keep this site free, and ad free, once I year I ask you guys to help me pay the bills and once a year you guys step up with donations.  All you have to do is click on the donations button in the upper right hand column and PayPal will walk you through the steps.  Or if you like you can write to me at impishdragon@gmail.com and I’ll send you my snail mail address and you can mail me something if you like.  Any little bit will help, it all adds up.  Buy me a cup of coffee.  Not the Starbucks crap, real coffee at a Jersey diner.  Costs you like a buck or so.

And if your current economic conditions can’t allow you to contribute, then don’t worry about it.  Everyone is still welcome around the campfire, because next year, it might be the other way around.

Now, we have to recognize our contributors:

Richard E.     Dan T.     Daniel W.

Susan W.     Steven H.     Henry S.

Leah H.     Donald G.     Michael C.

Carlos W.     William E.     John R.

Tina C.     Blast Specialties, Inc.

Philip S.

You guys are the bestest.

And that’s it for today my friends.  May your day be filled with love and happiness and especially laughter.  I will TRY to give you some sort of an issue this week, but with what’s going on this week … we will see what happens.

Good Morning Campers,

It’s the weekend!  And I’ve finally reached a day off!  And I’m going to rest, relax, and spend time with you guys.  I can’t imagine a better way to spend a relaxing day.

There are times when a good cup of coffee, a splash of Jameson, and special friends is all you need to call it a good day.  And that’s what we are aiming for today.

It’s been a long week and it’s going to be a really long week next week.  I’m going to be working a big exercise next week, so I’m not sure how or when there will be the next episode of Dragon Laffs after this one.  There SHOULD be one on Monday, but then we are in a week long stint of 12 hour shifts, right through next weekend.  But, that is what we all live for!  It is going to be great fun to see if everything I’ve been teaching these guys in class can be translated into action in the field. 

Here’s what a very small part of my class looks like:

I’ll take pictures next week and see if there aren’t some I can share with you guys.

Anyway, let’s get to the laughter part, shall we?

Those who judge will never understand,

and those who understand will never judge.

I used to play triangle in a reggae band…

But I quit as it was just one ting after another.

I now know how it will all end for me.

One of my kids will unplug my life support to charge their iPad.

“Hi.  We’d really like to talk to you about the church …”

Where do bad rainbows go?

Prism

It’s a light sentence.

This is what sunset looks like from space.

I just saw a car driven by a sheep in a swimsuit.

It was a Lamb Bikini.

Out here in the fields
I fight for my meals
I get my back into my living
I don’t need to fight
To prove I’m right
I don’t need to be forgiven

I was arguing with a guy in the pub who said he was a big pop star in the 80s.  I didn’t believe him but he was adamant….

And I can see so many of you younger ones out there with this confused look on your face … and us older folks just sitting here laughing.

All The Nations That Have To Be Combined To Be Equal To Brazil’s Annual Homicides

If you answer the phone with, “Hello, you’re on the air!” most telemarketers will quickly hang up.

If you are going to call the cops every time you spot me in your bushes, I don’t think this relationship is going to work.

Sometimes I shock myself with the smart stuff I say and do.

Then, there are times when I try to get out of the car with my seat belt on.

This one goes way back.

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Yeah, that was another one the kids aren’t going to get…

What if they’re not stars …

What if they are holes poked into the top of the container so we can breathe…

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen.  He sprayed everything down and cleaned thoroughly.  Today, I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Okay, I gotta ask … what the hell is this warning me about?

You don’t have to be Catholic to appreciate this one.
A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store.
The store clerks called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor.
The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery…
He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital. A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clipboard loaded with several forms, and a pen. She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment.
“Do you have health insurance?” she asked.  He replied in a raspy voice, “No health insurance.”
The nun asked, “Do you have money in the bank?” He replied, “No money in the bank.”
Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?” asked the irritated nun.  He said, “I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun.”
The nun became agitated and announced loudly, “Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God.”
The patient replied, “Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law.”

Elton John has bought his pet rabbit a treadmill.

It’s a little fit bunny.

Okay, so we’re going to end today with an update to …

As you know, it’s that time of the year again, when it’s time for me to pay the piper and I’m asking for you guys to pitch in to help keep this side ad free, and pay-wall free and all the rest of that stuff.  It’s easy, just go to the top of the page, on the right, hit the donation button and PayPal will walk you through the steps.  Every little bit helps, and if you are like a lot of us and can’t afford it, then don’t worry about it.  But if you can find your way clear to buy me a cup of coffee, then it would be deeply appreciated. 

And to keep the recognition fresh and clear in your mind, here are our wonderful camper contributors for this year:

Richard E.     Dan T.     Daniel W.     Susan W.

Steven H.     Henry S.     Leah H.     Donald G.

Michael C.     Carlos W.     William E.     John R.

Thank you all so very, very much!  Your generosity is so very much appreciated!

And that’s it for today my friends.  Love and happiness to you all.

Good Morning Campers,

There’s a couple of things I need to address up front.  And before I do, I want to say, also right up front, that I’m not angry or upset, because I think it’s a legitimate question after what I said in my last issue … episode … ezine.  I just now received a message in the comments from one of our dear campers and a long time reader and it goes like this:

quick question dragon, if “your” president “mandates” i be vaxxed, are you gonna be one of the enforcers? just because he says so.

Okay, I’ll admit it … at first it pissed me off.  Right from the start.  “Your” president.  That dementia-filled sack of crap may be my boss, but he is not “my president”.  Then I thought … okay, Impish.  Don’t take it personally, remember what you put in your last opening statement.  You did imply …

Yeah, okay, okay inner voice, shut the fuck up.

Anyway, on to the meat of the question.  And you have to understand that this is completely a hypothetical answer.  If the president were to mandate that everyone gets the “vaccine” (and I hesitate to call it a vaccine, cause it really isn’t, but that is a different conversation) and then tried to use the military to enforce that mandate, and found a way around Posse Comitatus through say declaring martial law, and I was somehow brought back into the military since I am currently a civilian working FOR the military and not a said member OF the military … but let’s say that ALL of those things were to fall into place… then I would say that the FIRST part of my oath of office would fall into place, which was defending the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and DOMESTIC and I would say at that point in time we would have a real domestic issue on our hands.

And I think that’s all the answer I can give in a public forum.  And I hope that answers your question.

So let’s move on to the next thing … and this really did piss me off.  And actually requires …

Apparently, you no longer need to know how to read, write, or do arithmetic in order to graduate High School!  At least in the state of Oregon.  The Governor signed a bill back in July that says that it is unfair to those students unable to read, write, or do math.  Foundations for a Better Oregon said in a statement that the bill is intended to “truly reflect what every student needs to thrive in the 21st century.”  

WHAT?!

They don’t need to know how to read, write, or do math?

Oh my gawd!

But wait!  There’s more!

They also said that this bill will help the state’s “Black, Latino, Latinx, Indigenous, Asian, Pacific Islander, Tribal, and students of color.”

So, what you’re saying is that these students are too stupid to learn the minimum requirements so we are going to do is  lower the bar, rather than raise these students up?  ARE YOU KIDDING ME????

But wait!  There’s more!

They insist that considering math and reading essential skills has been an unfair challenge for students who do not test well.

WELL NO SHIT!  That’s why they call it a test!!!  If you can’t pass the test, you don’t get to graduate!  You don’t dumb down the test!!!  I sure as hell don’t want a graduate of THAT school system flying my plane or even giving me change for my coffee!!!!!

How the hell is that preparing them for life!!!!!  How are they expected to survive in the REAL WORLD???  Or are they only going to be prepared for the world of the democrats giving them handouts for the rest of their fucking, miserable USELESS lives?

Okay … I’ve gotten it off  my chest.  I’m sorry.  As someone who finds math so easy (and yes, I know I’m probably in the minority with that one) and someone who thinks that reading and writing are skills that EVERYONE should have and enjoy to some degree, ESPECIALLY reading, this just annoys the SHIT out of me. 

And this is just racism in it’s worst form.  Let’s not lift someone up, let’s dumb the system down.  “Oh please, I’m (fill in the minority of your choice here) please make things easy for me because I’m too stupid to compete in normal society.”  Should have been said by NO ONE, EVER!!!!!!

This is the same state that made hard drugs legal!  Okay.  If anyone, anywhere deserves this, Gov. Kate Brown …

So, maybe it wasn’t quite all the way off my chest.  But, now it’s time to move on to better things.

Friends are like underpants.  Some crawl up your ass.  Some snap under pressure.  Some don’t have the strength to hold you up.  Some get all twisted.  Some support you.  Some are your favorites.  Some are cheap and just get bent out of shape.  And some actually cover your ass when you need them to.

Dear Karma,

I have a list of people you missed.

I was at the mall yesterday and walked into the book store.  I asked if they had Trumps new book on how to deport illegal immigrants?

The clerk said, “Get the fuck out of here and don’t come back!”

I replied, “Yes!  That’s the one.  Do you have it in paperback?”

“Okay, baby.  Let’s go.  It’s time to go collect those taxes.”

Words from a Stockbroker….Edward Jones: April 20, 2021

When asked about what to buy, the stockbroker said: “If the current government is in office much longer, canned goods, a generator, water and ammunition are your best investment.”

“Come on … and spend a dime on me …”

Most of you won’t get it, but that’s what it reminds me of.

I married my wife for her looks …

But not the ones she’s give me lately.

A married man thought he would give his wife a birthday surprise by buying her a bra.
He entered a ladies shop, rather intimidated, but the salesgirls took charge to help him. “What color?” they asked.
He settled for white. “How much does it cost?” he asked.
“Twenty-four dollars.”
“Expensive, but ok,” he thought.
All that remained was the size, but he hadn’t the faintest idea. “Now sir, are they the size a pair of melons? Coconuts? Grape fruits? Oranges?”
“No,” he said, “nothing like that.”
“Come on, sir, think. There must be something your wife’s bust resembles.”
He thought long and hard and then looked up and said, “Have you ever seen a Spaniel’s ears?”

What if UFOs are just billionaires from other planets?

 

 

 

 

 

 

And I’m afraid I’ve run out of time for this issue.

I just got called into a meeting that I completely forgot about.  So, I’m out until Saturday.

Love and happiness to you all.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

Good Morning Campers,

Not Safe For Work … truer words were never spoken.  It’s becoming dangerous to speak your mind.  I read a headline today that said basically that employers can fire you for not getting a COVID vaccine and if they do, you won’t be entitled to unemployment.  So, where is the freedom of choice in that? 

I am not advocating Not getting the shot, just as I am not advocating getting the shot.  I’m just asking WHY?  WHY are we pushing so hard, so fast, right now?  I told you my thoughts last time.  It’s because of the money the pharmaceutical companies are making off of it.  AND I’m predicting a third round to come.  Come on.  Bet me.  I’m a prophetic dragon.

But to my first point.  How can you be fired, for not getting a shot, that IS NOT FDA APPROVED YET?!?!

Now, I’m not a blind turnip …

 

But, as most of you know, I do have a government job, which is a bit of a different story, which means I signed up under a different set of circumstances.  My oath of office still stands… That I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice.  So help me God. 

Since, to me, the one (my oath) leads to the next (my current job). They walk together  hand-in-hand. 

Let’s take a look at MY position first and then talk about Joe Civilian.  My first level of responsibility is to the Constitution.  Well, no conflict there.  I suppose if I was a lawyer, I might could find a loop hole about my Constitutional Rights being violated or something, but that is not in the spirit of the Oath.  I am defending YOUR Constitutional Rights.  Anyway.  Secondly, bearing true faith and allegiance to the same.  Again, no conflict.  Thirdly, obeying the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me according to the regulations of the UCMJ.  Now, we get to the crux of the issue.  If the President, and through him the officers placed over me in my chain of command, order me to get the shot, then I have two choices.  Comply or quit.  Unlike the uniform members of the service, as a civilian member I have the option of quitting, they do not.  So, because I #1  Need my job, #2  Like my job, #3 Think my job is somewhat important, and #4 did I mention I need my job.  I comply. 

But, let’s talk about Joe Civilian.  What right does an employer have to force an employee to have a medical procedure done, that is NOT FDA approved, under threat of expulsion and threat of no unemployment payment that the company has unemployment insurance for?  How is that legally permissible? 

The bullshit flag has officially been thrown!  Have we forced employees to get flu shots every year under threat of firing?  And those ARE FDA approved.

I had a job once where I had to have the hepatitis vaccine as a job requirement.  Three shots given one month apart.  But those were FDA approved.

And goodness knows that when I was active duty the military stuck me with all kinds of needles.  I can STILL feel that damn yellow fever shot.

But Joe Civilian?

Really?

When did he raise his hand and promise to give up his all or else?  Is conscription next?  Are we bringing back the draft?  Or are they going to start knocking on our doors and start holding us down and forcing us to take the shot?  About the same damn time they try to take away my guns.  LOL. 

Yup…I was right … not safe for work … and sure as hell not safe to speak your mind.

By dragon, it’s time to laugh and chase away the bullshit my camper friends.

 

Okay, anyone else get stuck like that…”Hey honey. let’s watch a movie on Netflix …45 minutes later you’re still scrolling through titles trying to find something to watch.  Yup … me, too.

Question:  I want to be a musician when I become a grownup.  In today’s world is that an insane thing to want to be?

Answer:  Yes, it is an insane thing to want to be.  Becoming a grownup is highly overrated.  Just become a musician, you’ll be much happier that way.

And deserve everything you get!!

Yeah … that’s the answer …

At the risk of repeating myself …

It’s so nice to have friends in life …

Recently, a woman in Fresno, CA, was stopped at a DUI checkpoint for being soused.  Ever helpful, she offered up this info: “My husband’s right behind me, and he’s even drunker than I am.”

I think we’re on a roll here…

Now, that’s one that I need.

It’s time to say thank you … and oh my gawd!  You guys just amazed the crap out of this old dragon!  We are just starting out with this year’s push to pay the bills and you guys blasted me with donations.  I am truly amazed.  From yesterday when the first request went out, and of course the first one from Thursday.  And here’s our list of famous campers:

Richard E.     Dan T.     Daniel W.     Susan W.    

Steven H.     Henry S.     Leah H.     Donald G.

Michael C.     Carlos W.     William E.

So … yeah … Wow!  So, there is still plenty of time for the rest of you guys to send me a cup of coffee.  Every little bit helps and will be recognized.  Thank you ever so much for the help that has been received so far, it is deeply appreciated and touches my heart.  YOU GUYS ARE THE BESTEST!

  

A Target store in Augusta, Georgia, agreed to take back a printer from a dissatisfied customer.  Then the clerk noticed some work the customer forgot to remove from the machine: Counterfeit bills.

And the reason most criminals get caught?  Pure stupidity.

Amazing Art

“Pssst, Lady.  Wanna buy a watch?”

Yup…scary as hell!!

Two machete-wielding men barged into a Sydney, Australia bar demanding money.  They didn’t know the club was hosting a bikers’ meeting at the time.  One of the robbers ended up in the hospital, the other hog-tied with electrical wire.

Definitely detecting a theme here …

The Red And Orange Sections Have Equal Populations

My toddler just spent five minutes explaining that he can’t use his imagination because he traded it to a kid at daycare for some fruit snacks.  Ok, bro.

Why isn’t porn more realistic?  Like why isn’t there one with a husband and wife and the wife chokes violently on her spit and the husband gets alarmed and they spend a good 5 minutes with her coughing and him smacking her on the back and then the mood is gone so they go get donuts?

I don’t want a career, I want to wear a fancy robe covered in stars and dispense confusing and ambiguous advice to passing travelers from a large stone cottage on the edge of the woods where I live with a parliament of owls.

This is what Ice Canyon, Greenland looks like.

Roses are red. Tacos are delicious.

I use paper plates, because I hate doing dishes.

My friend told me she wouldn’t eat beef tongue because it came out of a cow’s mouth.

So I gave her an egg.

Last week my house was on fire.  My wife told the kids, “Be quiet, you’ll wake up daddy.”

And that my friends, is that… for today.  Thanks again for all of you who have made a donation – and thanks to those of you who will help me pay the bills.  Every little bit helps.  You know that.  Get yourself mentioned here at your favorite ezine.

Until next time.

Cheers,

Impish Dragon