I AM GETTING SO PISSED OFF AT OUR GOVERNMENT!  

The unbelievable audacity of Biden and the other democrats and honestly, some of the republicans makes me absolutely sick to my stomach.  

WE DO NOT HAVE A MONARCHY!  

Our country is a Democracy.  Biden does not have the authority to forgive student loans and make the rest of us pay for it…but he did.  It’s going to cost each of us tax payers $2,000 to pay for the student loans of people who won’t pay them back.  That’s pure bullshit.  I pay my bills, Why should I pay someone else’s bills?  And it’s congress who makes those decisions, not the president.  He’s breaking the law right in front of us, and nobody is even calling him out on this.

And then he calls me and quite a few of you as well, I’d guess, semi-fascists!  Yeah, way to bring the country together there, Joey.  Oh, but that’s not what you are trying to do, is it?

And the newly elected stupid bitch (friend of AOC) yelling that it was a great win for socialism!  Oh my Dear God!  You stupid, stupid fool!  Do you have any idea what socialism really is?  Do you have any idea at all how many wars that men and women like me and a lot of you have fought to rescue people from?  A lot of them stupid foolish people JUST LIKE YOU!

And the worst part of it is that they are lying to our face…TO OUR FACE…and daring us to say something about it.  And expecting us to not say a damn word about it.  
BIDEN:  I didn’t know anything at all about the raid on Trump before it happened.
The only person who can sign off on that kind of a raid on a former President is the CURRENT President!  So, did the FBI and a Judge sign off on all of this without your approval or are you lying AGAIN?  I’m going to go with the latter since you have such a long running list of lies to your credit.
No new taxes to your New Green Deal or whatever the hell you’re calling it.
I mean, come on, let’s be honest.  You’re not even the real president.  Someone in the background is pulling your strings, you prove it all the time.  Saying things like, “Oh, that’s right, I’m not supposed to answer any questions…”  Who the hell tells the president he can’t answer any questions?

It’s all crap.  The FBI, Mainstream media and Democratic party are in collusion to fix the last election and to control the country.  What happened to Democracy?  OUR VOTES MEAN NOTHING!  HOW LONG ARE WE GOING TO PUT UP WITH THIS?

Gasp! Pant! Pant! Gasp!

I really need to stop watching the damn news when I’m working on Dragon Laffs… Really and truly I do.  Sorry about that diatribe, but I’m so pissed off right now I couldn’t help myself.  So…what we need to do is get our laff on.  Then we’ll get to other stuff.  How does that sound to everyone? 

Okay, good.

My kids laugh because they think I’m crazy.

I laugh because they don’t know it’s hereditary.

I can’t afford an Ancestry DNA Kit to learn about my relatives.  So instead, I posted online that I had won the lottery.

Me too

And thus became the start of the Three Conquistador Stooges

In an effort to expand their demographic, the National Weather Service has just published instructions on how to bake a lasagna in your mailbox.

No kidding!  

Let me look into my crystal ball to see your future…

It’s only Saturday, and we’ve already gotten a few donors jumping in the pool already.  So, we want to recognize and thank them!  You are so very generous!

I can’t express my gratitude enough to you campers.  You are truly wonderful people.  Thank you ever so much for everything you’ve given.  It doesn’t matter if it’s $100 or $1.  It is appreciated.  It means that you think what I have put together is worth something and you have given what you can afford or what you think my efforts are worth.  Either way I am touched and humbled.  Thank you ever so very much.  You have no idea what it means to me.  Truly.  May God Bless each and every one of you, whether you donate or not.  It matters not.  I know there are many of you out there who can’t afford it and for those, don’t worry about it.  The rest of us will help carry your burden.  Because that’s what family does.  And for those of you who do help carry that burden…

And thanks to Chris, we have determined that you can also donate through Zelle.  My bank, and probably your bank participate in Zelle, or you may have the Zelle App.  I don’t have the App, but as Chris has already proven, I don’t have to have it because it’s already built into my Bank’s App.  Under my bank’s bill pay section it says you can transfer money through Zelle and unlike PayPal that takes a cut of everything that is donated, Zelle doesn’t do that.  So, if you wish to transfer money safely, bank to bank, all you need is the email address that is associated with my bank which is rem.wydock@sbcglobal.net.  So, give that one a try if you like and drop me an email to let me know.  But drop me an email at impishdragon@gmail.com and I’ll get it faster.  The other one is more of a home/business email that isn’t checked as frequently.

Izzy Dragon, my young, hip, connected daughter says that I should use Venmo for donations.  My response was, “What the heck is Venmo?”  She says it’s owned by PayPal but is easier to use, safer and people like it better.  What do you guys think?  Those of you who don’t like using PayPal would you feel better with Venmo?  I’ll do a little research, but I’m interested in hearing from you guys, my friends and family.  Oh, and I was just told by Miss Izzy D, “Cash App sucks, I’d never use Cash App.” So I suppose that one is out.  LOL! 

Let me know what you guys think. 

I used to be able to do a poll on here…wonder if I can do that again?

Growing a new set of teeth would be so much more useful at age 60 than age 6.

I so wholeheartedly agree!!!!

When I was in class 7, I used to ask a lot of questions….

One day, I asked my English Teacher, “Why do we ignore some letters in pronunciation for example, the letter H in Hour, Honour, etc?”

My English Teacher said, “We are not ignoring them; they’re considered ‘silent'”

(I was even more confused???)

During the lunch break, my Teacher gave me her packed lunch and asked me to heat it in the Cafeteria.

I ate all the food and returned her the empty container!!

My English Teacher:  “What happened?  I told you to go and HEAT my food, you are returning me an empty container.”

I replied, “Madam, I thought the ‘H’ was silent.”

Dedicated to all English Teachers

I lost my other sock in the dryer…I hate it when that happens.

And what kind of demonstration … yeah, never mind … I don’t want to know.

A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.

Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche.

Somedays, I look back on my life and I’m extremely impressed I’m still ALIVE!

I don’t know if my pants are feeling loose because I’m losing weight, or the elastic is finally giving up the fight.

My boss calls me “The Computer”.

Nothing to do with my intelligence, I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes.

I think that’s a marvelous idea!

Chinese third graders are learning multi-variable calculus.  Our third graders are being taught that “men can have babies.”  This will not end well.

There is no 5 year old in the world that is explicitly gay, lesbian, transgender or heterosexual.

Small children do not think about sex and sexuality unless they have been groomed to do so by an adult.

These are the facts.

What do you call a paternity testing facility in Indiana?

Hoosier Daddy

Stephanie sent this next one to me saying, “I’m not into D&D, but this one is for you.”  She knows I’m into it and I think it’s GREAT!  Thanks Steph.

 

And that’s it my friends, we have wrapped this one up for today.  Let’s remember to send me a cup of coffee as some of our fellow campers have already done.  I’m going to keep bothering … or … um … reminding you about it for the next couple of weeks so that I can keep putting your names up on the wall of fame.  Remember, you can either hit the donation button on the upper right corner of the top of the page at dragonlaffs.com, or you can use Zelle through your bank account by sending money from bank to bank by using my email address of rem.wydock@sbcglobal.net, or you can send me an email at impishdragon@gmail.com and I will send you my snail mail address and you can send me something that way.  It matters not if it’s $1 or $100 I will appreciate it just the same.  It shows you cared.  It shows I’m not wasting my time.  When it reaches the point where we no longer pay the bills, I know that I’m not longer entertaining enough, then I’ll no longer do this…until then, I’ll see you next time around my friends.

So, as you can tell from the above banner, it’s that time of year again.  Time for you guys to buy your favorite dragon a cup of coffee.  Okay, so for those of you who don’t understand what I’m talking about, let me ‘splain to you what’s going on.

One time a year, I beg you guys for money to support this dirty habit of Dragon Laffs.  I don’t allow ads to be run on my site and instead ask you guys to pay the bills to keep Dragon Laffs up and running on Word Press.  You do that by either hitting the donation button on the upper right portion of the website, which takes you through the process at PayPal or you can write to me and ask me for my snail mail address and you can send me a check. If you don’t want to do the debit card thing on PayPal.  When the time comes that you guys don’t donate enough to keep this thing running, I’ll know that you are tired of my sense of humor and I’ll go away quietly and know that my services are either no longer required or all the intelligent people have finally been locked up. 

The whole cup of coffee thing was that we figured if everyone just donated a buck or two, the cost of about a cup of coffee, we’d be more than covered.  So, go ahead, buy me a cup of coffee, hit that donation button.  I’m gonna bug you for the next couple of weeks.  But, I’m also gonna show you who the special few are who donate each week, so there’s that, too.

So, that’s my spiel, do as you wish.  And for now, let’s get this show on the road.

“I want to apologize to everyone for the bad puns.”

~ Noah Fence

Despite the heat, I walked two miles to the barbershop and decided not to take the short cut…

My question HAS to be, why is the lady in the back naked?

Is this REALLY necessary?

If you suspect a stroke, think F.A.S.T.

F – Facebook announcement with your suspicions.
A – Ask for thoughts and prayers
S – Search google for your symptoms
T – Try lavender oils

Not really my cup of tea, but it’s still a pretty cool lamp.

It’s nice when your “strange” cousin gets a good paying job.

Bringing the beach to your basement

I just noticed two large bumps on my car battery.  I had them tested and one came back positive.  Hope it’s not terminal.

I don’t know what I’d do without coffee.

I’m guessing 25 to life.

A guy broke into my apartment last week.
He didn’t take my TV, just the remote.

Now he drives by and changes the channels.

The bastard!

Love will find a way…

GREAT Shirt!!!

From the Letters To The Editor in the newspaper:

     My garden isn’t doing very well this year.  I think it’s because of all these new solar farms going up, they’re taking in all the sun’s rays so that the regular garden vegetation doesn’t get the sunshine it needs to do well; so I’m against solar farms.

Do you ever think about how weird reading is?

Our eyes are able to scan these different symbols and construct the scenarios and concepts they describe in our mind.

And these concepts have the power to twist our emotions and make us cry and laugh and wow…reading is weird.

I think it’s one of the most beautiful things in the world.

I so very much agree!

Tomorrow is Jamaican Hairstyle Day…

I’m dreading it!

On Monday we start Diarrhea Awareness Week.

Runs until Friday.

As I was getting in bed, he said, “You’re drunk.”

I said, “How do you know that?”

He said, “You live next door.”

And it’s worse now!

Not saying it’s really hot, but I was sweating so much I hydroplaned off the toilet seat and landed in the bath tub.

So, hold on a second…They actually have legit Fact Checkers that know all the facts??? 
Why not set up a special channel on TV and just give us the facts???

We Can Call It The NEWS!!!

YES WE DO!!!

So Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd break into a distillery.  Daffy turns to Elmer and says, “Is this Whiskey?” 

Elmer says, “Yeth, but not as whiskey as wobbing a bank!!”

And that’s it for today!  Thanks for tuning in, thanks for those of you who are now reaching towards the donate button, it would be awesome to see us set some new records this year, but in all honesty, you guys have already been so generous this year, that if we pay the bills I’ll be happy.  But, please, buy me a cup of coffee and until then, I’ll see you next time around … probably on Monday.  Until then…

Good Morning Campers,

Another of those instances of not enough time and too much to say.  Monday I had to work all day and then went right to my final Group Grief Therapy Session.  Kind of bitter sweet.  It was an excellent class.  I loved everyone who was there.  I’m glad it was over, but at the same time, I wish it wasn’t.  I can take the entire 13 week course again if I want to.  The next session starts on like September 12 or 22 or something like that, but I don’t think I am going to.  I think I am more interested in starting my own group on base. 

And then Tuesday, last night, I took Izzy Dragon to her concert last night.  Concert was supposed to start at 8 pm, with the doors opening at 7.  We got there at 615, and it being like an hour and a half away and having to stop for dinner, means we left the house around 4 ish.  The concert (Oliver Tree?  Any of you ever heard of this guy?  Nope, me neither) was supposed to let out around 10, didn’t let out until 1145, we didn’t get home until after 130 in the morning.  No, I  didn’t go in to the concert, I stayed in the car. 

So, this evening we have a doctor’s appointment and my other church meeting and in-between all of this I’m trying my best to put a Dragon Laffs issue together for you guys for tomorrow morning.  AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Right?

So, without further ado, let’s get to the fun stuff and see if we can add some other stuff as we go along, shall we? 

SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO THE PEOPLE AT THE LAUNDROMAT USING THEIR NEW IPHONE 13

You could’ve bought a washer and dryer for the same price.

Oh, and look!  They deliver!

I post a lot of stupid, silly crap on here for one reason…

So that you might forget about your problems and laugh, or at least smile, for a moment or two. That is what makes me happy!

In a packed elevator, everyone is silent.
Stomach:  I will now demonstrate the mating call of a whale…

“You call that a defensive play?!  That was awful!  My grandmother could have hit that guy harder than you!!”  — Dragon Coaches

That TV will fit just right in the Cave over the fireplace

In The Wisdom of Solomon

Two women in a bus fighting bitterly over the last available seat.

The conductor had already tried unsuccessfully to intervene when the bus driver shouted to the conductor, “Let the ugly one take the seat!”

Both women stood for the rest of the journey.

Argument done!

Those motivational signs work so well…

When I was your age, I had to walk 10 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.

Subject: Password reset

A senior tries to reset his password.

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password

USER: cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters

USER: boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character

USER: 1 boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password may not contain blank spaces

USER: 50damboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one uppercase character

USER: 50DAMboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively

USER: 50DamBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourA$$IfYouDon’tGiveMe AccessNow!

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation

USER: ReallyPissedOff50DamBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourA$$IfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow

WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.

The time keeping staff have their own tools that they use on the side of the field.

In “The Three Little Pigs”, why didn’t the wolf just set the stupid straw house and the stupid stick house on fire?  He’d have nabbed 2 out of 3 pigs, and his bacon would be crispy.  Serious plot hole, in my opinion.

That’s definitely me with a jump rope.

You find it offensive?
I find it funny.
That’s why I’m happier than you!

I love people that have no idea how wonderful they are and just wander around making the world a better place.

If you love something set it on fire.  If it…
no wait…
is that right?
Shit!
Be right back.

My Mary~Mae

If your friends don’t make fun of you, they’re really not your friends.

Wedding vows should include…
“Do you promise to always help him find his stuff that is right in front of him”
because you will be doing that forever.

I like older women because they’ve gotten used to life’s disappointments.  Which means they’re ready for me.

Oh yeah!

You know what I like about people?

 

 

THEIR DOGS!

And with that little trip down memory lane, we bring this episode to an end.  May the rest of your week be filled with love and happiness.  Until we meet again.

Yes, it’s that header again because I had my first class that I taught since my surgery on Saturday and … well … they kicked my ass.  Yup, I must be getting old.  That’s the only explanation I can come up with.  First week back to work, first class that I taught, I must be getting old. 

And it wasn’t even a very BIG class!

What’s happening to me?

I was young and spry and full of life, but now…I let a couple of Reservists kick my ass?  That ain’t right.  I’m tellin’ ya, it just ain’t right!

You know what I have to do now, right?

There’s only one thing TO DO!

I’m just going to have to fly out to the base and burn the place to the ground.  That’s all there is to it.

Otherwise, I won’t be able to live with myself.  It is the only option left available.  Okay, okay.  I can hear you out there saying that I should reconsider, so I’ll tell you what I’ll do.  I can wait to hear what suggestions I get from you guys to soothe my aching and embarrassed ego.  But remember, a dragon’s ego is huge, so…it’s going to take a lot.

So, moving on.

I did get a chance to see the Whelpling, and as promised, here is a picture of us together.  Sadly, we are in our human forms, because we’re inside at his house… 

I’m the handsome older one on the right, he’s the furry, brawny, squinty looking one on the left.  He’s a bit weird looking, I’ll admit, but I love him to pieces.  He drives truck for a living, keeping America running and I couldn’t be prouder of him and before any of you ladies get any ideas out there… here’s a picture with his dear sweet wife, whom I couldn’t love more if she were my own daughter:

Her shirt is great, it says something to the effect of a mom trying her best not to raise liberals.  I laughed like crazy when I saw it.  It’s a good thing she’s so cute, otherwise I’d hate to see what their kids would have looked like.  As it is, I have the most beautiful grandkids on the planet.  Just ask me, I’ll be happy to tell you all about them.  I wish I could have stayed longer with them, but with Izzy Dragon at work and the Dragon puppies locked up at home, I had to get back and take care of them.  Besides, all the grandkids were out or at work and with it being the Whelplings birthday, well…I was in the way.  Yup, they are young, and in love and he REALLY wanted to go play…with … his new birthday present.

Which was a new miter saw!  Where was your dirty mind going to!?

Anyway, let’s get on with the important stuff…

Gonna be a lot of people traveling overnight out of Phoenix.

Since so many of you wrote in to wish the Whelpling a happy birthday, let’s get those out there for him real quick, shall we?

If you’re asking me for advice I can only assume that you’re out of all other rational options.

If you really don’t get that meme, then you are too young and your parents did a poor job at your upbringing. So, then it is up to me, Impish Dragon, to improve upon your knowledge…

Okay, from there, you should be able to Google your own hours of fun.

Vegan food ain’t that bad once you add meat and cheese to it…

They just can’t help themselves.

Losing weight doesn’t seem to be working for me.  So, from now on, I’m going to concentrate on getting taller.

Fitness Level:  Pulled a muscle in my ass just crossing my legs.

The inventor of autocorrect died.  The funnel will be held tomato.

Why?  What does your genie in a lamp look like?

Out of all the inventions in the last 100 years, 

the dry erase board is probably the most remarkable.

Officer:  Please step out of the vehicle.

Me:  After this song.

I might be a 5, but I’m a solid 8 at the Gulfport Walmart, so you ain’t gonna talk to me any kind of way.

I wish my siblings would stop calling me “spoiled” just because I’m the baby in the family.  The fact is, my parents kept having children until they found one they liked.  It’s so not my issue.

If you again, don’t know who this guy is, you have had a poor education in your childhood!  Go ahead and Google Benny Hill.  Go on … we’ll wait …

Leaving a watermelon on someone’s doorstep in the middle of the night is a pretty inexpensive way to occupy a portion of their mind for the rest of their lives.

That is actually a great idea.  We used to set off a string of firecrackers at 2 or 3 am on their front steps, but I almost think the watermelon thing is much better long term evil.

Okay, there he is again, youngsters…look him up!

Yup, that’s what happened…

Well, I try to, anyway.  “Tell the Truth” and “Use Common Sense” that is.  One thing I will promise you is that I call it as I see it.  I do not espouse a viewpoint because it’s popular or because it’s right or left or red or blue or anything.  My opinions are my own and they are normally embedded in trying hard to not be stupid and to not hurt the largest amount of people.  Now, we get something like this, sent to us by our dear friend and fellow camper Stephanie…

This doesn’t pass the common sense test, the truth test, or the stupidity test.  It also doesn’t pass the hurt the least amount of people test.  This is the Green New Deal under a different name.  It’s pure lie.  It has NOTHING to do with inflation.  They are not even trying to hide the fact that they are lying to our faces anymore. 

You know, myself and many of you out there who are readers of this ezine volunteered to give up your very lives for this country.  One of our dearest friends did.  Lethal Leprechaun ultimately died from wounds that he suffered from an IED he encountered in the sandbox.  That little green guy was like a brother to me.  Some of you, like me, carry scars, and pains, and maybe limp or aches because of the time you gave to this wonderful country.  And I’m not looking for anything in return.  For everything that I’ve given, the pain that I suffer daily, the parts of me that are now made out of metal, the government honors me with a 10% hearing disability.  About $150 bucks a month.  Because that’s all the VA can “prove” was military related.  And that’s fine with me.  That’s the cost of doing business, the cost of my service to my country.  My life, my fortune, my sacred honor…right?

But, I expect my government representatives to uphold their end of the bargain.  And the first order of which is to NOT LIE TO ME.  Especially not to my face.  This administration has been doing nothing but since they took office.  Everything was Trump’s fault.  No new taxes.  On and on and on.  I don’t know about you, but I’m sick and tired of it.  And giving away our money to illegals entering our country.  Over 2 million illegals entered our country in 2022 so far.  That’s about one-third of the population of Indiana!  And there’s the weepy-eyed snowflakes, with money in their hands, welcoming them into our country.  And then hiring all these IRS agents to take more of my money?  Come on!  We need to get rid of these liars and thieves NOW.  Everything they do makes our lives worse.

Is there any of you out there who can honestly say that you are better off now then you were when Trump was in office?  If so, you are in the minority.  

And how many of my fellow Veterans out there have an ache in their heart like I do?

Okay, that Dragon Rant came out of nowhere.  So, let’s get back to where we were.

Huh.  Now it makes sense why everyone kept asking me to step outside with them.

Too funny!

RAISE YOUR HAND IF SOMEONE IS STILL ALIVE TODAY BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T WANT TO GO TO PRISON?

I duck my head down while driving into underground parking garages to make my car fit…in case you were wondering what kind of superior intellect I’ve passed down to my kids.

I tried to text, “I’m a functional adult,” but my phone changed it to, “fictional adult,” and I feel like that is a more accurate description.

And that’s it my friends.  I hope you enjoyed this one as much as I did.  May the beginning of your week be well, fun filled, and peaceful.  May God Bless each and everyone of you and may you all find Love and Happiness until we meet again.

Today is Saturday!!

And Saturday is a Special Day!

Why is Saturday a Special Day, you may ask?

Well, I am going to tell you Why Saturday is a Special Day…

Saturday is a Special Day because Saturday is …

I hope and pray that you have a GREAT day.  Much love and happiness to you and your wonderful little family.  I hope I get a chance to see you guys tonight after work. 

And speaking of work, I will be working and teaching my first class back after … geez … a LONG time.  I don’t even remember when the last class was that I taught.  I’ll have to let you guys know how my class goes.  I’m hoping that I don’t have to push myself too hard, so that I can make the hour and a half trip to see the Whelpling after work, drop his little birthday present off and drive back an hour and a half and still be home in time to pick Izzy up after work. 

So we’ll see.  In the mean time, we’ll get our laugh on and get things moving in the direction we want them to move in.  So…..

We used to have Village Idiots, but with the internet, they have gone global.

Fuel prices are so high that I went to the car dealership and test drove 3 cars to run my errands.

Follow me for more money saving tips.

This is what it looks like when the vending machine breaks.

Customer:  I’d like a cappuccino – no chocolate on top, no foam, and no milk.

Me:  …so…you’d like a black coffee?

Customer:  No.  I only like cappuccino.  I WANT a cappuccino!

Me:  [makes a black coffee]

Customer:  Perfect!  I don’t understand why you had to be so difficult about it.

“HEY YOU KIDS!  GET OFF MY LAWN!”

Gotta wonder how old that cartoon is…

I had a new refrigerator delivered today and they had the nerve to send me one that wasn’t pre-cooled.  I obviously denied the refrigerator and sent it back.  I didn’t spend $1,460 for a warm box.  I want my fridge to be cold when it arrives.  Duh!  The dumb driver looked at me like I’m the bad guy.  What happened to the customer is always right?  Customer service has really gone down the drain.

I have a friend that has a trophy wife.  By the looks of her, it wasn’t for first place.

I don’t always listen to Classic Rock…

BUT WHEN I DO, SO DO THE NEIGHBORS!!

“I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO GET THE HELL OFF MY LAWN!”

Paddy and Mick are working at the local sawmill.

One day, Mick slips and his arm gets caught and severed by the big bench saw. Paddy quickly puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Mick to the local hospital.

Next day, Paddy goes to the hospital and asks after Mick. The nurse says, “Oh he’s out in Rehab exercising”.

Paddy couldn’t believe it, but there’s Mick out the back exercising his now reattached arm. The very next day he’s back at work in the saw mill.

A couple of days go by, and then Mick slips and severs his leg on another bloody big saw. So Paddy puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Mick off to Hospital.

Next day he calls in to see him and asks the nurse how he is. The nurse replies, “He’s out in the Rehab again exercising”.

And sure enough, there’s Mick out there doing some serious work on the treadmill. And very soon Mick comes back to work.

But, as usual, within a couple of days he has another accident and severs his head. Wearily Paddy puts the head in a plastic bag and transports it and Mick to hospital.

Next day he goes in and asks the nurse how Mick is. The nurse breaks down and cries and says, “He’s dead.”

Paddy is shocked, but not surprised. “I suppose the saw finally did him in.”

“No”, says the nurse, “Some dopey bastard put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated.”

How do you walk 3,000 miles through Mexico “without food or support” and show up at the border 100 lbs overweight with cell phones?

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Based on the amount of laundry we have in my house, I’m going to assume there are people living here I’ve not met yet.

I called my job from jail to tell them why I can’t make it.  Those jerks bailed me out and made me go back to work.

I bet when Cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one goes, “Man, you’re such a Cheetah!” and they laugh and eat a zebra or whatever.

Because it’s the people in power who are adding the numbers up!

Let’s do a little mail…

And that is that.  Happy Birthday again to my son.  I hope he has a wonderful day!  If I get to visit him tonight like I hope, maybe I’ll send you guys a picture…maybe. 

Just a heads up that donation time is coming soon, I’ll probably start talking about that next week, so get your pennies and nickels ready.

And my hopes and prayers for each and every one of you is for you all to have a WONDERFUL rest of your weekend.  Get some rest and have some fun.