Dragon Laffs #2103


It sounds like my change in font and such worked out well, as is demonstrated by this wonderful little comment that I got from dear Maggie: 

Maggie
an hour ago
 

Impish
thank you for adjusting the web page. I read it from the link in the email. I use a 10 inch netbook, so can’t do much changing of display. I live in a nursing home and am bedridden. Fortunately I am very computer literate, but there is only so much I can do with this netbook. I appreciate all your hard work and do THANK YOU very much for your service. Say HI to IZZY and that I wish both of you a good Thanksgiving.
Maggie

I’m glad it’s working out for you, Maggie and appreciate the feedback.  I hope it works out as well for everyone else.  Oh, and Izzy Dragon says hi back.

Today is Saturday and I was supposed to be at my son’s house for Thanksgiving with my grandkids, his dear wife (whom I love as my own) and her family.  As you may have caught, the key words in that sentence was “supposed to be”.  I’m at home, talking to you guys instead because I’m not feeling well and don’t want to pass anything on to them.  I don’t think I would’ve been helped by driving an hour and a half there and then again back later tonight.  My question though, is why don’t I feel good?  Do I really not feel good or am I emotionally not feeling good and it transferred to me not feeling good physically?  I’m not dumb enough to think that this is not effecting me emotionally, but on the off chance that I am sick and contagious, I have to err on the side of caution.  So…I’m home today and working on Dragon Laffs.

Which is okay.

I specifically moved this one to the top of the queue so that I could talk about it because it is SO TRUE!  Everyone has an internal voice inside of them that tells them right from wrong.  You KNOW when you are doing something that’s wrong or cruel or hurtful or whatever and if you do it anyway, you can justify it anyway you want, you are still wrong.  Just like Joe Biden and the giving away of America.  He’s doing it to win votes and keep the democrats in power.  That’s his justification, but inside, he has to KNOW that what he’s doing is WRONG.  He promised to forgive all the student loans, even though he KNEW that it was illegal.  But, that wasn’t brought out until after the mid-terms and all the young people who thought they were getting all that money voted for the left, even though the intelligent thinking person KNEW it was a bad, evil, wrong thing.  Now that a judge is saying that he can’t do it, it’s “Gee, I’m sorry, I tried” and all the young people were hoodwinked.  Biden KNEW what he was doing was wrong, but did it anyway.  That is NOT the kind of people we want running our country.  What was once thought to be the greatest country on the face of the earth.  “If you need the threat of Hell to be a good person, then you are just an evil person on a leash.”

Here’s a great video sent in by Joe about another issue that electric vehicles have.  Thanks brother!

This one was sent in by Trish.  And although I’m pretty sure we’ve seen it before, it’s well worth seeing again.  Thanks Trish.

A lesson that should be taught in all schools . . And colleges….

Back in September of 2005, on the first day of school, Martha Cothren, a social studies school teacher at Robinson High School in Little Rock , did something not to be forgotten. On the first day of school, with the permission of the school superintendent, the principal and the building supervisor, she removed all of the desks out of her classroom.

When the first period kids entered the room they discovered that there were no desks.

‘Ms. Cothren, where’re our desks?’

She replied, ‘You can’t have a desk until you tell me how you earn the right to sit at a desk.’

They thought, ‘Well, maybe it’s our grades.’

‘No,’ she said.

‘Maybe it’s our behavior.’

She told them, ‘No, it’s not even your behavior.’

And so, they came and went, the first period, second period, third period. Still no desks in the classroom.

By early afternoon television news crews had started gathering in Ms. Cothren’s classroom to report about this crazy teacher who had taken all the desks out of her room.

The final period of the day came and as the puzzled students found seats on the floor of the deskless classroom, Martha Cothren said, ‘Throughout the day no one has been able to tell me just what he/she has done to earn the right to sit at the desks that are ordinarily found in this classroom. Now I am going to tell you.’

At this point, Martha Cothren went over to the door of her classroom and opened it.

Twenty-seven (27) U.S. Veterans, all in uniforms, walked into that classroom, each one carrying a school desk. The Vets began placing the school desks in rows, and then they would walk over and stand alongside the wall. By the time the last soldier had set the final desk in place those kids started to understand, perhaps for the first time in their lives, just how the right to sit at those desks had been earned..

Martha said, ‘You didn’t earn the right to sit at these desks. These heroes did it for you. They placed the desks here for you. Now, it’s up to you to sit in them. It is your responsibility to learn, to be good students, to be good citizens. They paid the price so that you could have the freedom to get an education. Don’t ever forget it.’

By the way, this is a true story. And this teacher was awarded Teacher of the Year for the state of Arkansas in 2006.

Please consider passing this along so others won’t forget that the freedoms we have in this great country were earned by U. S. Veterans.

And I did fact check this one and it is true and not embellished.  The only difference I could find is that it was a Military History class and not a Social Studies class.  Not sure that’s a big enough difference to matter.  Thanks Trish for a very inspirational story.

There are two rules in life:

  1.  Never give out all the information.

Been there, done that!

“Unless you have Girl Scout Cookies, stop ringing my damn doorbell!”

Never Forget the 3 Types of People in Your Life:

  1.  Who helped you in your difficult times.
  2. Who left you in your difficult times.
  3. Who put you in difficult times.

This one was sent in by Leah, and like I told her … it means a lot to me.  

“My parents were married for 55 years. One morning, my mom was going downstairs to make dad breakfast, she had a heart attack and fell. My father picked her up as best he could and almost dragged her into the truck. At full speed , without respecting traffic lights, he drove her to the hospital.

When he arrived, unfortunately she was no longer with us.

During the funeral, my father did not speak; his gaze was lost. He hardly cried.

That night, his children joined him. In an atmosphere of pain and nostalgia, we remembered beautiful anecdotes and he asked my brother, a theologian, to tell him where Mom would be at that moment. My brother began to talk about life after death, and guesses as to how and where she would be.

My father listened carefully. Suddenly he asked us to take him to the cemetery.

Dad!” we replied, “it’s 11 at night, we can’t go to the cemetery right now!”

He raised his voice, and with a glazed look he said:

“Don’t argue with me, please don’t argue with the man who just lost his wife of 55 years.”

There was a moment of respectful silence, we didn’t argue anymore. We went to the cemetery, we asked the night watchman for permission. With a flashlight we reached the tomb. My father caressed her, prayed and told his children, who watched the scene moved:

“It was 55 years… you know? No one can talk about true love if they have no idea what it’s like to share life with a woman.”

He paused and wiped his face. “She and I, we were together in that crisis. I changed jobs …” he continued. “We packed up when we sold the house and moved out of town. We shared the joy of seeing our children finish their careers, we mourned the departure of loved ones side by side, we prayed together in the waiting room of some hospitals, we support each other in pain, we hug each Christmas, and we forgive our mistakes… Children, now it’s gone, and I’m happy, do you know why?

Because she left before me. She didn’t have to go through the agony and pain of burying me, of being left alone after my departure. I will be the one to go through that, and I thank God. I love her so much that I wouldn’t have liked her to suffer…”

When my father finished speaking, my brothers and I had tears streaming down our faces. We hugged him, and he comforted us, “It’s okay, we can go home, it’s been a good day.”

That night I understood what true love is; It is far from romanticism, it does not have much to do with eroticism, or with sex, rather it is linked to work, to complement, to care and, above all, to the true love that two really committed people profess “.

I suppose, in that regard, I am glad that Mrs. Dragon went before I did.  That she didn’t have to go through the agony and misery that I’ve gone through.  It is an unusual way of looking at it, but it does help.  Thanks Leah.

“A basic website costs 10k, or 25k upwards if you want all the Belgian whistles,” he said.

“So, we’ve got all these cookies to get rid of…now, I’ve heard of a spirit dragon, out in the forest, who may be interested.  Some of us are going to have to dress as Girl Scouts.”

Most people are at the age where they are using their phones to document the good times in their lives.  I’m at the age where I use my phone to take pictures of labels that I can’t read and use my phone to enlarge the print so that I can read it.

Holy cow!  I have finally figured out what’s wrong with my brain!

On the left side, there is nothing right, and on the right side, there is nothing left.

I just flew back from a ravioli convention.

Boyaredees arms tired!

This is probably one of the greatest lists I’ve ever read!  Thanks to Joe for sharing it with all of us.

Long but educational!

Natural Laws 


1. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants. 

2. Don’t be irreplaceable, if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted. 

3. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get. 

4. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard. 

5. Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day. 

6. Never ask two questions in a business letter. The reply will discuss the one you are least interested in, and say nothing about the other. 

7. When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves. 

8. If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it. 

9. There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office. 

10. Mother said there would be days like this, but she never said there would  be so many. 

11. Keep your boss’s boss off your boss’s back. This is what I’m doing wrong. 

12. Everything can be filed under “miscellaneous.” 

13. Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour. 

14. To err is human, to forgive is not company policy. 

15. Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing. 

16. Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail. 

17. The last person that quit or was fired will be the one held responsible for everything that goes wrong – until the next person quits or is fired. 

18. There is never enough time to do it right the first time, but there is always enough time to do it over. 

19. The more pretentious a corporate name, the smaller the organization. 
(For instance, The Murphy Center for Codification of Human and Organizational Law, contrasted to IBM, GM, AT&T …) 

20. If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it. 

21. You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk. 

22. People are always available for work in the past tense. 

23. If it wasn’t for the last minute, nothing would get done. 

24. At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying. 

25. When you don’t know what to do, walk fast and look worried. 

26. You will always get the greatest recognition for the job you least like. 

27. No one gets sick on Wednesdays. 

28. When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, “How would the Lone Ranger handle this?” 

29. The longer the title, the less important the job. 

30. Machines that have broken down will work perfectly when the repairman arrives. 

31. An “acceptable” level of employment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job. 

32. Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse. 

33. All vacations and holidays create problems, except for one’s own. 

34. Success is just a matter of luck, just ask any failure. 

35. If anything can go wrong, it will. 

36. Nothing is ever as simple as it seems. 

37. Everything takes longer than you expect. 

38. If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will do the most damage will go wrong first. 

39. Left to themselves, all things go from bad to worse. 

40. If you play with something long enough, you will surely break it. 

41. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something. 

42. If you see that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong, and circumvent these, then a fifth way, unprepared for, will promptly develop. 

43. Nature always sides with the hidden flaw. 

44. Mother Nature is a bitch. 

45. It is impossible to make anything foolproof, because fools are so ingenious. 

46. If a great deal of time has been expended seeking the answer to a problem with the only result being failure, the answer will be immediately obvious to the first unqualified person. 

47. If anything just cannot go wrong, it will anyway. 

48. Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables, the organism will do as it damn well pleases. 
— Harvard’s Law 

49. Never replicate a successful experiment. 
— Fett’s Law 

50. Research is what I’m doing when I don’t know what I’m doing. 
— von Braun 

51. It is not an optical illusion, it just looks like one. 
— Phil White 

52. In any decision situation, the amount of relevant information available is inversely proportional to the importance of the decision. 
— Cooke’s Law 

53. Bare feet magnetize sharp metal objects so they always point upwards from the floor-especially in the dark. 
— Ross’s Law 

54. The number of adjectives and verbs that are added to the description of a menu item is in inverse proportion to the quality of the dish. 
— Calkin’s Law of Menu Language 

55. Don’t force it; get a larger hammer. 
— Anthony’s Law of Force 

56. Any tool when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner of the workshop. 
— Anthony’s Law of the Workshop 

57. Arnold’s Laws of Documentation: 

(1) If it should exist, it doesn’t. 
(2) If it does exist, it’s out of date. 
(3) Only documentation for useless programs transcends the first two laws. 

58. Beifeld’s Principle: 

The probability of a young man meeting a desirable and receptive young female increases by pyramidal progression when he is already in the company of: 
(1) a date, 
(2) his wife, 
(3) a better looking and richer male friend. 

59. Bradley’s Bromide: 
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee — that will do them in. 

60. DeVries’s Dilemma: 
If you hit two keys on the typewriter, the one you don’t want hits the paper. 

61. Drew’s Law of Highway Biology: 
The first bug to hit a clean windshield lands directly in front of your eyes. 

62. Fifth Law of Applied Terror: 
If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book. Corollary: If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live. 

63. Finagle’s Third Law: 
In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct, beyond all need of checking, is the mistake. 

64. First Rule of History: 
History doesn’t repeat itself — histo

Absolutely fantastic!  Thanks brother!

Don’t let getting lonely make you reconnect with toxic people. 

You shouldn’t drink poison just because you’re thirsty.

A fact is information minus emotion.
An opinion is information plus experience.
Ignorance is an opinion lacking information.
And, stupidity is an opinion that ignores a fact.

Congratulations to everyone who didn’t have college debt.  Now you do.

A Santa Fe, TX minister said it best… “We have created a culture that does not value life, that does not honor God, that does not respect authority.  We are reaping the consequences of those actions and that’s not going to be reversed by a security guard or a metal detector.  The long-term goal is to change hearts.  We’re allowing the culture to raise our kids.”

Since I don’t have a student loan, I’ll take my $10,000 in direct deposit.

Comparing Tesla’s 0 to 60 times to real performance cars is like comparing a microwave to a bar-b-que grill.  It may cook faster, but nobody ever wished for a microwaved burger.

I paid my 15 year old $10 to do the dishes.

Then, on his way to the bathroom, I mugged him because it’s my job to teach him life lessons.

So, my new watch was so expensive, I had to finance it.

I’m living on borrowed time.

Joe sent me a great story and apologized because he couldn’t make it a better size.  So, I liked it enough that I decided to type it out myself.  So, here it is complete.

A 99-year-old veteran who gave his food to a girl in France during the Second World War has been reunited with her 78 years later.

Reg Pye, from Burry Port, South Wales, served with the 224 Field Company, Royal Engineers, as a driver carrying sappers, mines and ammunitions, during the Battle of Normandy.

While moving through Normandy in June 1944, 14 days after D-Day, Mr. Pye spotted a 14-year-old girl staring at him as he ate his evening meal – a slice of bread with jam and a tin of pilchards.

The then 21-year-old immediately gave the girl his bread with jam and she ran away to eat it.

When he woke the next morning, he found that she had half filled his mess tin with milk and left a picture of herself with a written message on the back, which he kept in his wallet.

In November this year, the girl was identified as Huguette, now 92, and was reunited with Mr. Pye in France where he showed her the picture he had held for 78 years, and gave her another jam sandwich.  When meeting Huguette, Mr. Pye said, “Nice to see you again after such a long time.  We got older but we’re still the same.”

They drank champagne with their extended families and a translator.

Mr. Pye said, “The memory of my very brief encounter with this young girl will stay with me forever.

“In the bleakest of times, this bit of human interaction made a huge mark on my life.  I have carried her picture in my wallet for 78 years always hoping we might meet again.”

Mr. Pye went back to Normandy 20 years ago to try to find Huguette but was unsuccessful.  After hearing the story, volunteer Paul Cook, from the Taxi Charity for Military Veterans, an organization run by London black taxi drivers which arranges free trips for veterans to the Netherlands, Belgium and France, started a social media campaign which eventually reunited the pair.

Mr. Pye added, “I cannot believe that she has finally been found and I wish to thank everyone, including our friend Emma, our cab driver Paul and the Taxi Charity’s French adviser Nathalie Varniere, who have helped to make my dream come true.”

Mr. Cook said, “There are no words to describe how elated I am that Reg has found Huguette, this is like a Hollywood blockbuster and I wouldn’t be surprised if this beautiful story was made into a film.”

That was a great story.  Thanks to Joe for sharing it with us and a really good way to wrap up today’s episode.  

So, until we meet again on Thanksgiving Day, May God keep you and bless you.

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #2103

  1. Marsha Mastrangelo says:

    So glad you fixed whatever was causing the printing problem. I was starting to believe that I was as electronically challanged as my kids say I am. On the plus side I can do math in my head faster then they can on their gadgets. Feel better soon.

  2. Leah D says:

    I DO NOT want nor expect you to make any changes. However, I can no longer steal everything I want from your web page. Now, some of the items come up with WEBP.file. I have been curious, but not concerned.

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