Dragon Laffs #2091

Not much to talk about today.  I could rant about Biden and the  White House, but my doctor says I have to keep my blood pressure under control. 

Okay, so I’m only kidding about that part…the blood pressure thing, not the ranting about Biden and the White House.  But, all the news outlets are already talking about him not being competent to be president because of his huge gaffe on national TV, which the rest of us have known for years. 

Watching the Colts get their butts beat by the Titans, who they’ve always had trouble against.  I’m actually taping the Green Bay game so I can watch it afterward, so no one tell me how it turns out, okay?

Anyway, like I said, not really much else to say, so let’s get to the stuff you guys really want to see…  


Every “C” in Pacific Ocean is said differently.

Congratulations to everyone who didn’t have any college debt.

Now you do.

Mix it up a little.  Text a random phone number the following message:  “The fat one won’t fit into the woodchipper.  What do you want me to do?”

Me and my shadow.  But, who’s talking?

Nice response.

The local hairdresser got robbed.  the police are combing the area.

I’m not actually worried about the cost of college because my son is 6 foot 5 so he’s gonna get a women’s basketball scholarship.

For past 21 years, my wife has been complaining about my not putting the cap back on the toothpaste.  This anniversary, I decided to change this bad habit and make my wife happy.

For a week, I was diligent, always capping the toothpaste.

I was expecting my wife to thank me, but she never did it.

Finally, yesterday while taking dinner, she turned and looked at me and said, “Why have you stopped brushing your teeth?”

Marriage is a difficult relationship, I tell you.

“I AM a real … oh, never mind.”

I stood waving to my neighbor for 10 minutes this morning before realizing she was cleaning her windows.

There’s a 4 bedroom, 3 bath pothole on East Main Street, if anyone’s looking.

This one comes to us again, from Friggin’ Pete.  Thanks Pete, this one is really special.

I don’t know who wrote this or when but, for those lucky to still be blessed with your Mom, this is beautiful…….For those of us who aren’t, this is even more beautiful.


The young mother set her foot on the path of life. “Is this the long way?” she asked.
And the guide said: “Yes, and the way is hard. And you will be old before you reach the end of it.
But the end will be better than the beginning.” But the young mother was happy, and she would not believe that anything could be better than these years.
So she played with her children, and gathered flowers for them along the way, and bathed them in the clear streams; and the sun shone on them, and the young Mother cried,
“Nothing will ever be lovelier than this.”
Then the night came, and the storm, and the path was dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother drew them close and covered them with her mantle, and the children said,
“Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come.”
And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and the children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary.
But at all times she said to the children,” *A little patience and we are there*.” So the children climbed, and when they reached the top they said,
” *Mother, we would not have done it without you*.”
And the mother, when she lay down at night looked up at the stars and said, “This is a better day than the last, for my children have learned fortitude in the face of hardness.
Yesterday I gave them *courage*. Today, I’ve given them *strength*.”
And the next day came strange clouds, which darkened the earth, clouds of war and hate and evil, and the children groped and stumbled, and the mother said: ” *Look up* . *Lift your eyes to the light* .” And the children looked and saw above the clouds an everlasting glory, and it guided them beyond the darkness. And that night the Mother said,
“This is the best day of all, for I have shown my children God.”
And the days went on, and the weeks and the months and the years, and the mother grew old and she was little and bent.
But her children were tall and strong, and walked with courage. And when the way was rough, they lifted her, for she was as light as a feather; and at last they came to a hill, and beyond they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide.
And mother said, “I have reached the end of my journey.
And now I know the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk alone, and their children after them.”
And the children said,
“You will always walk with us, Mother, even when you have gone through the gates.”
And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates closed after her. And they said:
“We cannot see her but she is with us still.
A Mother like ours is more than a memory. *She is a living presence……”
 Your Mother is always with you* ….
She’s the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street; she’s the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks; she’s the cool hand on your brow when you’re not well..
Your Mother lives inside your laughter. And she’s crystallized in every teardrop.
She’s the place you came from, your first home; and she’s the map you follow with every step you take.

She’s your first love and your first heartbreak, and nothing on earth can separate you. Not time, not space… not even death!

Stephen B. says: These two “tree stumps” are my latest carvings.  I got the idea from a youtuber named Ddalo.  They are 4 and 5 inches high.  Enjoy!  They’re pretty cool Stephen B.!

The National Park Service has officially advised against sacrificing slower friends in a bear attack, “Even if the friendship has run its course”.

People cry, “My body, my choice!” Well, I say, “Your student loan, your payments.”

I hate when I go to the kitchen looking for food and all I find are ingredients.

That is such a very, very sad cartoon…

Doctor:  Did you take those pills I gave you last month?

Me:  You said take them on an empty stomach, so no.

Went to a store the other day that was promising big senior discounts.

Got a 6′ 4″ 72-year-old and a 240 pound 83-year-old at HALF OFF!

Can’t be any worse than the clowns that are already in.

Why did it get so hot in the baseball stadium after the game?

All of the fans left.

And that’s it my friends.  May your days be filled with Love and Happiness until we meet again.

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1 Response to Dragon Laffs #2091

  1. Leah D says:

    Here in The Salt Lake Valley, it’s all Cold & Snow . . . do we really need to buy Halloween candy?

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