Dragon Laffs #2044

Just Willow and me hanging out outside the cavern.  She’s been such a good girl lately.  Been my friend, keeping me company. 

I’ve got a couple of quick things to bring up.  Tom H. brought up a mistake I made in the last issue.  Great Value is a Walmart brand, not a Kroger brand.  I besmirched Kroger when I should have been Besmirching Walmart.  Thanks for pointing that out, Tom.  My humblest apologies to Kroger. Mea Culpa. (Not sure I spelled that right) 

Jerry M. said thanks for the posts making life more tolerable.  Agreed Jerry.  That’s why we’re all here.  Helping each other keep our heads above water and laughing a little about it.  Fighting the world’s bullshit with laughter.  Says so in the masthead somewhere. 

It’s you guys that make my life more tolerable.  I appreciate each and everyone of you. 

I got an email with the subject line of “.Lucrative Investment.”  It went directly into my Junk Folder.  I can’t understand why.  It looks like a good opportunity for me.  It’s from a Henry Markson who says he is an Investment Analyst and his email is hmarksn11@gmail.com, gee, that sounds like a legitimate company email, right?  Anyway, he says:

Hello, now that’s a nice professional opening, right?

I want to notify you of our client’s interest in investing in your company as a SILENT/ANGEL INVESTOR. Not sure who his “client” is, but of all the Angels I’ve met, none of them have been silent nor willing to invest in anything.  So, I’m kind of curious.  Especially since he doesn’t even seem to know what the name of my company is.

Please, if you wish to proceed, get back to me as soon as possible for contact details and further proceedings.   I wonder what the further proceedings entail?  I would bet that I would only have to send him my bank information or a small down payment to get started.

Best Regards,  Does anyone ever send Worst Regards?

Henry Markson
Investment Analyst

I don’t know…what do you guys think?  I sure could use the money right now…If Lethal Leprechaun were still around, I’d get his crack legal team on it.  Man I miss him.  Too soon gone. 

Okay, so on that happy note, let’s get on with the regular comedic stuff that you are all looking forward to.  I think I’ve poked enough fun at this piece of spam.

Originally, Wrigley’s was a soap company that included baking powder as a gift with the purchase of their soap.  They switched to selling baking powder when it became more popular than the soap, and included a pack of gum as a gift.  When the gum became more popular than the baking powder, the company changed again and started selling gum.

Life could be worse…

…Milk could have pulp.

The Black Eyed Peas can sing us a tune, but the chick peas can only hummus one.

This is one of our corporate spies.  Notice the camouflage.  He is extremely good at his job.  

If you go out drinking and call off work the next day…I’m here to let you know
My generation showed up for work in the same clothes we had on the night before, still wearing the wristband or hand stamp!

Question for the Day:

You see me Once in JUNE,
Twice in NOVEMBER,
And not at all in MAY.
What am I?

Answer for the day:

The letter E

The “Clinging Vine”

I have SERIOUS questions!

Counseling might help.  Perhaps Group Therapy.

The problem with stealing quotes off the internet is you never know if they are genuine. ~ Abraham Lincoln

Working at an Air Force Base for a living, you have no idea how many times I still hear this one from otherwise upstanding and somewhat intelligent people.  It boggles the mind.

Here’s a comment/mail from Tommy V that I want to share with the rest of you guys.


29 minutes ago

Dragon Laffs #2043

I have a home that has been haunted since before I bought it . I bought it in 1971. The young lady had left my house and went next door until my wife passed away in 2014. I still miss my wife very much. It will never get better but it will ease enough for you to live. I also lost a grand son Sunday night. that hurts also .

Tommy, first let me say how terribly sorry I am for the passing of your grandson on Sunday and the passing of your wife in 2014.  It is always too soon and it’s so very, very hard being the ones left here.  My heart and my prayers go out to you.

If I understand you correctly, your house is haunted by a young lady, who moved next door to haunt them until your wife passed away and then moved back?  Did I get that right? 

I’m sure we could start a whole sub-thread on here about hauntings and people’s experiences with them.  It’s more common then people think and a lot of them are just mundane hauntings.  It’s just the spectacular ones that get all  the press.

Stephanie sent this next one in and said she knew 3…

I knew 7 and remembered seeing 3 more.

When I was a very small child, my mom used to bury coins in my sandbox, leave huge boot prints in the sand, and tell me pirates had come in the night and buried treasure.  I would be out there happily for hours, with my little sieve, and my mom got a quiet morning to herself for the price of a handful of pennies. 

I was always kind of skeptical about Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy, because visiting every kid in the world did not seem reasonable.  But the pirates only visited me, so they were probably real. 

So, that’s the story of how I ended up being an archaeologist.  How did you become what you are?

Them:  Can we contact your previous employer to make sure you’re a good fit?  

Me:  Sure!  As long as I can ask your previous employees why they quit.

Man!  Why did I never think of that?

John S. sent me this next one in the form of a video that I can’t forward to you guys, so I’m translating it to you like this, (Thanks John)

Okay, so this rather brilliantly cuts through all the political double speak we get.  It puts it into a much better perspective:

Lesson #1

U.S. Tax Revenue: $2,170,000,000,000
Federal Budget:  $3,820,000,000,000
New Debt:  $1,650,000,000,000
National Debt:  $29,271,000,000,000
Recent Budget Cuts:  $38,500,000,000

So, now let’s remove 8 zeros each time and pretend it’s a household budget

Annual Family Income:  $21,700
Money the Family Spent:  $38, 200
New Debt on Credit Cards:  $16,500
Outstanding Balance on Credit Cards:  $292,710
Total Household Budget Cuts:  $385

Does that make more sense to you?

Lesson #2

Here’s another way to look at the debt ceiling: 

Let’s say you come home from work and find that there’s been a sewer backup in your neighborhood and your home has sewage all the way up to your ceilings. 

What do you think you should do?  Raise the ceilings, or pump out the crap? 

Your choice is coming, November 2022!

Thanks again, John.

Yes! It absolutely does!

I got this from Lynn…and I deeply appreciate it.

Sooooo…Happiness is copyrighted????

A girl at Starbucks complimented my lip-gloss.  I didn’t have the heart to tell her it was grease from the rotisserie chicken I just ate in the parking lot.

Bars need to do a “Sad Hour” with even cheaper drinks and everyone just acts cool if you cry a little.

Okay, hear me out…
A Reality Show where billionaire CEOs have to live off of their lowest paid employee’s salary for a month.

And I agree with Stephanie who said we should make it six months!

And that’s it for another one my dear camper friends and family.  Love and happiness to you, one and all.

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7 Responses to Dragon Laffs #2044

  1. Archie Bearce says:

    Where you at? Nothing new for over a month.

  2. Stephanie says:

    Tommy, sorry to hear about your losses. I cannot imagine the pain. Lifting you and yours in prayer

  3. Marsha Mastrangelo says:

    When you look at your house built in 1900 remember …..built before power tools. Probably had to make their own nails no Lowes for all those little things. If it has a foundation it was dug by hand. If not those rocks it is sitting on were put there by hand and strong back. Could it be done today??

  4. Leah D says:

    I had a haunted house, it hated one of my sons and tried to kill him with an axe.

    On the subject of CEO’s living off a workers wages: Years ago, Utah officials were fighting over if Welfare checks should be raised. One woman legislator, with just one child, said she would live off only the same amount of $ as she would get from Welfare, for one month.
    She went on TV, proudly proclaiming the cut backs they had made, and how it wasn’t a bad life at all! Oh yah, right! She had a fancy new car that didn’t need new tires or automotive repairs; she had plenty of clothes, and more than one pair of shoes that didn’t need replacing; she had stocks of groceries in the house, so didn’t need to buy a bag of sugar, etc; they had eaten a healthy diet for years, so they were healthy, and they had yearly visits to the dentist, so didn’t need to pay for a tooth to be pulled.
    My point is, let them move into their workers home, drive the workers car, wear the workers clothes . . . then it would level it a bit.

  5. jhjoseph says:

    Thanks. Some really great ones. You make my days each time I see your great site.

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