Surprise! I’m writing to you when I said I wouldn’t. That’s because…Surprise!…my life has fallen apart again. Who’d of figured?
Okay, so I didn’t really crash and burn…per se…but I did find out that I have been mentally dwelling on, and therefore worrying about, going through this surgery on Monday without my dear Mary. I’ve been playing it off like it’s not a big deal when in fact it IS a big deal and I’ve been dreaming of not waking up from the anesthesia and some other wacky things and that somehow, if Mary were here, it would all be all right, and it all just burst out of me in the middle of the exercise and … well … I kinda got kicked out the exercise and put on leave until my surgery on Monday.
Which, legitimately I should have been on anyway, but I thought they NEEDED me, like I was WAY more important than I am, and in the end, I probably just made things worse for them.
I am a schmuck.
So, that’s why I get to hang out with you guys for the next couple of days before my surgery. I’ll try to put a couple of little issues together for you between now and then. How does that sound to you guys?
Sarcasm — where the witty will have fun but the stupid won’t get it.
The only thing that’s ever in bed with me is crumbs.
My girlfriend pissed me off in my dream so when I woke up and told her about it she said, “it was probably something you started.” and somehow I ended up apologizing.
One of the most important things about a well working relationship, is that you have each other’s back. It’s not always the biggest one who protects the smaller one.
If I’m quiet around you, I’m either trying to figure you out or I’ve already figured you out and I don’t like you.
Depending on YOUR age and the age and condition of your chair — yes they do count.
No amount of physical beauty will ever be as valuable as a beautiful heart.
I am the master of all I survey! What is this shit?
So, it’s okay to smoke silently.
This next one is the story of my entire life:
Sometimes all you can do is laugh to keep yourself from crying.