Dragon Laffs #2032


This may be the last issue you get from me for a little while.  I have a major ten day exercise starting today and then, the very next day, I go in for my hip surgery.  I will try to keep you guys informed about what’s going on, but the likelihood of a regular issue is pretty slim.  I am going to try to go to my Grief Group on Monday Night and I am going to try to play darts on Tuesday night since it’s opening night for our new location…but I’m not holding out a lot of hope.  But again, we’ll see.  But for now…

An elderly, rich man was all alone in his mansion, when suddenly he began feeling ill. 

He called up a doctor and, to his surprise, the doctor said she’d be right over.

When the doctor showed up, she was courteous and considerate, and she insisted that she could always examine the man immediately in his house, without him going anywhere.

The rich, old man was overcome. He said, “Wow, I’m not used to being treated in this manor.”

Day 12 without chocolate.

Lost hearing in my left eye.

As I put my car in reverse, I thought to myself… “This takes me back.”

Trust a dragon to keep things calm and peaceful.

Going to my bed for some wild, mad, passionate, earth shattering, mind blowing sleep.

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real.  If I could counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at Dollar Tree, Karen.

I don’t understand why banks get upset when you can’t repay a loan…

You already knew I had no money when I came to borrow it.

Here kitty, kitty.

Now mind you, this is a couple of weeks old now, since I’m so damn far behind in my emails, but it’s still timely enough.  Friggin’ Pete seems to be having a bit of a battery problem…

Tried to mow the lawn today, but the lawn mower was having none of it. I put the battery on a charger in the morning, but it wasn’t charging.  So I put a tester on it. Dead. I drove over to the garage in the afternoon to get a new battery, then went to install it. But when I tried, one of the terminals was really corroded and broke off. And despite having a big box of terminal parts, none of ’em fit.

So I decided the correct response was “beer.”

It’s not like the grass is going anywhere….

I’ve found that “beer” is the correct response to many, many more problems than people think.

Here’s one from Hank that’s gonna knock your socks off

Hank

2 days ago

Dragon Laffs #2025

My daughter went in for reconstruction surgery. She was (is) an Agent Orange baby. The bill $554,050. My union insurance paid $100,000. (maximum allowed). I sent something every month, but I couldn’t afford much, just starting out after 6 years in the Navy. They sued me…….the Judge heard both sides of the story, awarded full payment to the hospital and doctors. THEN he said MINIMUM PAYMENT $1.00/ MONTH!. She is 43 y/o now and I still send them $1.00 every month. Chances are I wont pay it off before I die. That was in 1971, wonder what the bill would be if she had that surgery today.

Wow!  What an amazing story!  That is one hell of a bill for 1971!  Over half a million dollars!  And then for your insurance to cap out at $100K is crazy!  If that’s the case and the hospital was on your insurance, then that is what they should have accepted and been done with it.  But then to have such an understanding judge is just … amazing!  That’s a great story Hank.  Thanks for sharing with us.

Marsha Mastrangelo

a day ago

Dragon Laffs #2031

As you go for surgery my advice is to refuse nothing. Nurse ask if you want pain med….yes…she may know things you dont. Heart rate is up due to pain or therapy called and they are getting you up in 20 minutes. Get up….move it or loose it… Nurse ask if you need anything extra at lunch….yes…maybe she saw hospital meat loaf on dinner menu…make yourself move. May also prevent post op pneumonia….will be thinking of you….be well Sir Dragon.

Thanks Marsha, all good advice and I will take all of it.

Can I still blame my lack of love life on the pandemic or is it back to my personality again?

 

There’s always some truth behind “just kidding.”
There’s always some knowledge behind “I don’t know.”
There’s always some emotions behind “I don’t care.”
And there’s ALWAYS some pain behind “it’s okay.” (or “I’m okay.”)

If they were really trying to prepare high school kids for “Real Life”, they’d offer a class called “Working with Assholes”

Being happy doesn’t mean everything is going good.  It just means the drugs are working.

Sometimes I find a random screw lying around my house and I just assume it’s from my life falling apart.

OH     MY     DEAR     GAWD     !!!!!

And that’s it my friends.  I’ll try and keep in touch.  Love and happiness to you all.

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4 Responses to Dragon Laffs #2032

  1. reijo says:

    Hope the surgery goes well for you.

  2. Alan F says:

    Good luck with the op, mate, hope to hear from you again soon.

  3. Leah D says:

    WHO? posed for the tax picture? That is the thought that will keep cropping up on me for the next . . . years! Along with WHY?

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