This may be the last issue you get from me for a little while.  I have a major ten day exercise starting today and then, the very next day, I go in for my hip surgery.  I will try to keep you guys informed about what’s going on, but the likelihood of a regular issue is pretty slim.  I am going to try to go to my Grief Group on Monday Night and I am going to try to play darts on Tuesday night since it’s opening night for our new location…but I’m not holding out a lot of hope.  But again, we’ll see.  But for now…

An elderly, rich man was all alone in his mansion, when suddenly he began feeling ill. 

He called up a doctor and, to his surprise, the doctor said she’d be right over.

When the doctor showed up, she was courteous and considerate, and she insisted that she could always examine the man immediately in his house, without him going anywhere.

The rich, old man was overcome. He said, “Wow, I’m not used to being treated in this manor.”

Day 12 without chocolate.

Lost hearing in my left eye.

As I put my car in reverse, I thought to myself… “This takes me back.”

Trust a dragon to keep things calm and peaceful.

Going to my bed for some wild, mad, passionate, earth shattering, mind blowing sleep.

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real.  If I could counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at Dollar Tree, Karen.

I don’t understand why banks get upset when you can’t repay a loan…

You already knew I had no money when I came to borrow it.

Here kitty, kitty.

Now mind you, this is a couple of weeks old now, since I’m so damn far behind in my emails, but it’s still timely enough.  Friggin’ Pete seems to be having a bit of a battery problem…

Tried to mow the lawn today, but the lawn mower was having none of it. I put the battery on a charger in the morning, but it wasn’t charging.  So I put a tester on it. Dead. I drove over to the garage in the afternoon to get a new battery, then went to install it. But when I tried, one of the terminals was really corroded and broke off. And despite having a big box of terminal parts, none of ’em fit.

So I decided the correct response was “beer.”

It’s not like the grass is going anywhere….

I’ve found that “beer” is the correct response to many, many more problems than people think.

Here’s one from Hank that’s gonna knock your socks off

Can I still blame my lack of love life on the pandemic or is it back to my personality again?

 

There’s always some truth behind “just kidding.”
There’s always some knowledge behind “I don’t know.”
There’s always some emotions behind “I don’t care.”
And there’s ALWAYS some pain behind “it’s okay.” (or “I’m okay.”)

If they were really trying to prepare high school kids for “Real Life”, they’d offer a class called “Working with Assholes”

Being happy doesn’t mean everything is going good.  It just means the drugs are working.

Sometimes I find a random screw lying around my house and I just assume it’s from my life falling apart.

OH     MY     DEAR     GAWD     !!!!!

And that’s it my friends.  I’ll try and keep in touch.  Love and happiness to you all.