Dragon Laffs #1993

So, it’s Saturday morning, it’s President’s Day weekend, Russia is about to invade Ukraine, COVID is about to be over, the weather here won’t make up it’s damn mind, blizzard mode two days ago and 60 degrees on Sunday…which is yesterday for you guys reading this. 

And now, all you hear on TV around here is that we are now “less than 100 days from the Greatest Spectacle in Racing”  The 106th running of the Indy 500!  Oh for crying-out-loud.  That means for the next 3 months that’s all we’re going to hear, over and over and over again.  Then they’ll go right into the Brickyard 500.  Don’t get me wrong.  It’s not that I dislike car racing, I’m just not that big of a fan like a lot of other people are around here. 

Anyway, let’s move on to the laughter portion of our program and see what else comes up over the weekend and talk about it as it comes up.

Waiting to see how long it takes this police sketch artist to realize I’m describing him.

Waaaayyyyy too funny!  Of course, it’s from the Babylon Bee!

Why do we need farmers when we have supermarkets?  Heard this in real life and it blew my mind.

He’s actually not bad, but I did beat him.

Was in a maternity class with my wife.  One of the husbands was an endless source of amazing comments.  My favorite was while on the topic of breastfeeding.  “So, do you just poke holes in them or what?”  There was a very long, very shocked pause from the instructor before she explained it to him.

This is second hand from a diving guide in Bermuda: “How far do you have to dive to get under the island?”

That dragon is about ready to eat his ass!

Me:  I should sleep, it’s late, I’m gonna hate myself in the morning.  

Me to Me:  You already hate yourself, watch the next episode.

I just asked myself if I’m crazy…

And we all said no.

I’m so out of shape that if somebody yells, Run For Your Life!  I’ll be like, you guys go on ahead, I’m going to meet Jesus.

Imagine finding a dragon egg one day, and it hatches in your house and thinks you’re it’s mom.  Then the next morning you wake up and find this mini dragon has gathered all the lose change and shiny objects in your house in a pile, and is gnawing on a nickel.  And then when you take it out for walks, it picks up every coin it sees because it’s a hoarder.  And your house is eventually full of coins.  And you are rich.  And have a dragon.

Irony or just sarcasm?

It’s a short list, but fun

60 may be the new 40
But the 100 dollar bill is now the new 20

And that is the truth!  And with that we will call it a day.  Love and happiness to you all.  Until we meet again.

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1993

  1. Leah D says:

    Have you ever seen those ads for copies of newspapers the day you were born? I am trying to predict what Wednesday’s headlines will be, since it is my Birthday! No, I won’t tell you how old I am . . . but I will tell you, counting the day I was born, this is my 75 birthday!

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