Dragon Laffs #1982


As most, if not all of you know, my dear Mrs. Dragon’s services were a week ago and I can honestly say that I felt all of your good wishes and prayers for myself and Izzy Dragon.  Thank you all very much for that.  I’ve tried several times this week to get back to DL and you guys, but I just couldn’t.  I’m still waiting to get my car back from the shop.  The last I heard, which was Thursday, they were waiting on parts and then it would be a few days of hard work.  Looks like the car is going to come in at about 2 arms and a leg.  But, what am I going to do.  Gotta have a vehicle or I can’t work.  I feel bad because I’ve got a borrowed vehicle and it was only supposed to be for a couple of days and now it’s been over a week! 

Damn! 

I wasn’t going to come in today and bitch and moan, but you guys are family and if you can’t bring your concerns up to family then who can you? 

But … that’s not what today is for! 

Today  …

Thanks to Stephanie for this link.  Some very interesting and unusual pictures in this one.  Stuff you don’t normally see.  Worth the click: https://theydiffer.com/movies/fb/142975891/rare-views-of-iconic-events-and-places-in-history/?uvv=70&utm_source=facebook&utm_campaign=z1-us-newerperfb-23850090163730380&fbclid=IwAR06QW2XprHRw4IQTjqt8JY4poGs1L7odHl5QIOM4NtEeOLrSfXm6zkAoTA

I’m sure there’s a logical explanation for this…

I told my daughter, “Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field.” 
She said, “What’s that got to do with anything?” 
I replied, “That means it’s pasture bedtime.”

And the sad thing is, so many of you young ones won’t get that one.

 

“I see a lot of people visiting your lair…dressed in armor and carrying weapons…and trying to steal your horde of gold.”

The same boiling water that softens the potato also hardens the egg.  It’s about what you are made of, not the circumstances.

“Okay, here’s the plan, we are going to dress in armor, bring weapons, go to this lair where there is this dragon and steal his treasure horde.”

My son wants to study burrowing rodents…
I told him to Gopher it.

I tried to re-marry my ex-wife.
But she figured out I was only after my money.

Just a heads-up for everyone sending me “pass-it-on” messages…
I am where your messages come to die…

Here’s a couple of special ones for my Marine brothers out there.

EVER!!!

Ever notice how some people talk louder when they drink?  
That’s why alcohol content is listed by volume.

Cop:  So, I’m writing you a ticket for driving alone in the car pool lane.  

Me:  You’re going to feel really stupid when you look in my trunk.

Where was the first chicken fried? 

In Greece

With this country divided, I am glad I’m on the side that has the most guns and knows what bathroom to use.

I’d like to thank my across the street neighbor who just rang my front bell to tell me that she “just had to tell me that the front of my car (the borrowed car) had a big smile on the front of it because of the snow and she just had to get bundled up and run across the street and tell me.”   Now, I’ve lived here for about 6 1/2 years and have never met her before because they actually live across the street and down the way a little bit and we live on a state highway and have just never met them before.  But, she was just SO cheerful and just SO happy to point this out to me, that it just put a big smile on my face … and … she’s right, the car DOES have a smile on it’s face:

And this is our first snow of the season.  And Willow Dragon thinks it’s the greatest thing since … well … EVER!

I’ve been in bed for 20 minutes and I’ve just remembered, I only came upstairs for a pen.

A mosquito just landed on my husband’s face…

Easiest decision of my life.

Me:  [talking on phone] Can I have a pizza with liver and onions please?  

Pizza Guy:  We don’t do liver.  

Me:  [hand over phone, whispering to wife] I thought you said they do the liver?  

Wife:  I said they do deliver.  

Me:  Not according to this guy.

I went to the doctors with hearing problems.  He said, “Can you describe the symptoms?” 

I said, “Homer’s a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair.”

I don’t need a personal trainer so much as I need someone to follow me around and slap unhealthy foods out of my hand.

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

This Year, 2022 …….. both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union address will occur on the same day.

This is an ironic juxtaposition of events.

One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to an insignificant creature of little intelligence for prognostication ...

The other involves a groundhog

AGAIN…some of you ain’t gonna get it.  Mostly of the younger persuasion.  

And another one.

Van Gogh’s Family Tree 

– His dizzy aunt – Verti Gogh

– The brother who ate prunes – Gotta Gogh

– The brother who worked at a convenience store – Stop an Gogh

– The grandfather from Yugoslavia – U Gogh

– The cousin from Illinois – Chica Gogh

– His magician uncle – Where-diddy Gogh

– His Mexican cousin – A mee Gogh

– The Mexican cousin’s American half-brother – Ring Gogh

– The nephew who drove a stage coach – Wells-far Gogh

– The constipated uncle – Cant Gogh

– The ballroom dancing aunt – Tang Gogh

– The bird lover uncle – Flaming Gogh

– His nephew psychoanalyst – E Gogh

– The fruit loving cousin – Man Gogh

– An aunt who taught positive thinking – Way-to Gogh

– The little bouncy nephew – Poe Gogh

– A sister who loved disco – Go Gogh

– And his niece who traveled the country in a van – Winnie Bay Gogh

I hope this was an enjoyable issue for everyone.  It did help to lighten my mood a bit.  I know I have some rough days ahead of me, but I also know that with your help I’ll be able to get through them easier than without your help.  May your day be filled with laughter and joy and may you peace and love fill your hearts.  And rather than schedule this for tomorrow, I believe I will just post this now for delivery since it’s been a while since one has gone out.  Then maybe we’ll get back on schedule for Thursday.

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3 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1982

  1. Stephanie says:

    My prayers for you and your family.
    I cannot imagine the pain you are experiencing. Each day is a new struggle just by starting.
    Keep your eyes on the Master and He will carry you throughout.

  2. Hank H says:

    Having had my wife die just this past Friday I understand your pain completely

  3. Randy Lee Reed says:

    Hope you get to feeling better just rember the good times you had together may it help memories grow sweeter as times goby

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