Good Morning Campers,

Welcome from the Indiana Emergency Response Conference!  So far it’s been pretty tame, but it’s just the first day.  Had a couple of good talks on HazMat and aircraft crash responses and things like that…yeah, I know, I can hear you guys yawning already, so why don’t I just get to the fun part and we can talk about the rest of this later.

Pesky bugs in the summer time!

So, pretty much a normal day then?

My day starts backward … I wake up tired and go to bed wide awake.

Absolutely perfect!

Now, so that I don’t get in any trouble for this one, you have to understand this is a direct quote: From Stephanie: “Me bowing to the Mighty Impish Dragon”

Now, I appreciate that, I truly do, and … not that it’s not deserved and all,  but some how I can’t help but feel like I’m going to pay for this.

Oh … um … wait … there it is …. down at the bottom of her email.  It says it right there ….

“Yeah, right!”

So, I guess we know how she REALLY feels.  LOL!

I’m trying to stop being mean, but it’s like y’all have to stop being stupid first.

I’m pretty sure it would work better on humans than mosquitos…

She said her kids have A.D.D. … my smart ass said, “All Different Daddies?”

Now I’m blocked!

I think I’ve used this one before, but it’s such a great tip, it’s worth revisiting …

Pro Tip:  Save business cards of people you don’t like.  If you ever accidentally hit a parked car, just write “Sorry” on the back of the card and leave it on the windshield.

Or hell, if you REALLY don’t like the person and you have a car with a strong enough bumper, you might even hit another car on purpose!

Lou Holtz, football coach was asked what is the difference in football players today and 50 years ago.  He answered, “Simple, today’s athletes talk about rights and privileges.  And the players 50 years ago talked about obligations and responsibilities!”  To me, that describes society today.

Got an email from John S.  He always asks the most interesting questions.  Here’s today’s …

Good Morning Dragon
Hope You and Yours are doing well.
I was just wondering how much money the Government could save by giving
New Orleans back to Nature…..
Be Well Dragon.

That’s a good question John … probably quite a bit, I’m sure.  Not sure why we have a city built that is so far below sea level.

I don’t care how much you don’t like me.  The last time I checked, the road to heaven wasn’t through your yard.

Fifty Shades of Grey is only romantic because the guy is a billionaire.  If he was living in a trailer, it would be a Criminal Minds episode.

Help your friend on a diet by replacing the light in their fridge with an air horn.

Big girls don’t cry … They pop a couple of Xanax, wash it down with vodka and set your car on fire.

And that’s it for today my friends.  Gotta get some sleep.  Love and happiness to you all.

Cheers.

Impish Dragon