Dragon Laffs #1936


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What a week!  Between work, shopping after work, doctor’s appointments and crazy shit, it’s amazing if this issue gets out on time.  Mrs. Dragon is to be fitted for a heart monitor that she has to wear for two weeks to monitor … you guessed it … her heart.  We get to do that tomorrow.  (That’s Wednesday or yesterday for you guys reading this now).  So, I’ll be able to tell you guys about it before the end of this episode.

We had to go to the grocery after work today and just got home a little while ago and now it’s storming outside, but if I have any chance AT ALL of getting a real issue out, I’ve got to at least get it started tonight … even though it’s really almost past my bed time.

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The secret to living well and longer is:  Eat half, walk double, laugh triple, and love without measure. ~ Tibetan Proverb

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Teacher:  Which book has helped you the most in your life?

Student:  My father’s check book!

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I always knew we’d get old.

How fast it happened, was a bit of a surprise though.

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Knowing your wife is in the wrong is one thing…

Proving she’s in the wrong is just plain stupidity.

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I am the king of all I … oh look, a squirrel! 

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Taking your pet for a walk just isn’t as much fun as you would think.  People stare at us all the time.  She’s just so .. so … big!  And the axe she carries doesn’t help.

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Okay, so just got back from the hospital and Mrs. Dragon now has a brand new extension on her body for the next two weeks.  It looks like this:

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It’s always recording and if she has an “episode” there’s a button she can push to … do something.  I’m not really sure.  But at the end of the two weeks she removes this device, puts it in the box which is pre-addressed, drop it in the mail and … again, I got nothing here. 

I just read this to Mrs. Dragon and she asked me if I was retarded.  She’s not allowed to say that anymore, right?  She told me that it records shit.  … Okay, I really, still got nothing here, but it does give you some insight into what I live with on a daily basis.  And since I’m reading this to her as I’m writing it, she’s now laughing like hell, so that accomplished something, anyway.

We really do have a great relationship.  One of the best things we do when we go out … like to the doctor’s office or to the hospital today … is make other people laugh.  Like when we went up to the registration desk and the lady asked for her name and she told her and I immediately turned to her very seriously and said, “That’s not what you told ME earlier!”  Which of course cracked the lady up.  And then Mrs. Dragon gave me the finger, which REALLY cracked the lady up.  Then the lady asked her what her date of birth was and she told her.  And of course, I had to say, “That’s not what you said, either!”  And by this time there were a few of them around and they all cracked up.  But … it’s also stuff like that that gets me in trouble, too.  Like at the grocery store, when she goes to pay with her debt card and I whisper just a little too loud something like, “Is that the one you got from that drunk you rolled last night?”  And people wonder why I go to work with bruises…

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I think the scariest part of that song “Born to be Wild” is when they find a head out on the highway.

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Lord, give me coffee to change the things I can change and whiskey to accept the things I can’t.

 

 

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Now this is a standoff!

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Give Me

Give up

Glasses

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Go Green

Go On

Go To Bed

Go To Hell

go to sleep

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Just found out there’s no popcorn in popcorn shrimp.  Guess there’s no reason to try pot roast.

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My mom didn’t raise no quitter.

 

She raised a procrastinator.

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I adopted a dog from a blacksmith.  As soon as I got him home, he made a bolt for the door!

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This last one is a good one to keep putting out.  We were told today that Cpl Sanchez will be coming home on Sunday.

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I was happily watching the Bermuda Philharmonic Orchestra when the guy on triangle disappeared.

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Okay, this is about the last chance for anyone of you who haven’t had a chance to donate this year to do so … not that I would turn anyone down who wants to donate any OTHER time of the year, but you all know that there is only one time of the year that I solicit donations to pay the bills at Word Press and for the name Dragon Laffs which I own. 

So, Let’s call this the last push.  Last chance to send me a cup of coffee, last chance to get your name on the wall of fame, last chance to this year to help pay the bills.  Special special, extra special thanks go out to:

Richard E.     Dan T.     Daniel W.     Susan W.

Steven H.     Henry S.     Leah H.     Donald G.

Michael C.     Carlos W.     William E.     John R.

Tina C.     Blast Specialties, Inc.     Phillip S.

Bob B.     Archie M.     Scott H.     Lona T.     Patricia G.

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You guys are AWESOME!!!

Love and Happiness to you all.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1936

  1. dowchuckil says:

    they had those at the “red goose” shoe store. after you bought the correct fitting shoes, you got a golden egg. Ha!

  2. Leah D says:

    I was born with a twisted foot . . . so guess who had her feet in the radiation machine more than anyone else? Back in the 50’s . . . that was after the atomic bomb, so why is it they never knew it was dangerous?

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