Dragon Laffs #1918


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Good Morning Campers,woman-warrior

01Well, it’s the morning after and man, do I have a case of the blahs!  Just wrung out, worn out and … plaugh!   But, it is good to note that all is well, so that knocks that out for another five years or so.  Or whenever my doc tells me it’s time to get a hose shoved up my behind again.

I gather I have quite the potty mouth when I come out from under sedation.  Mrs. Dragon says that I dropped the f-bomb in front of the nurses at least a dozen times that I don’t recall at ALL!  I’m a little embarrassed.  Apparently, I revert quite quickly to my Jersey/GI roots. 

I tried really hard to pay attention to the going under sedation part.  I told the anesthetist that I wanted to know when he started to put me under.  He told me it would be pretty quick.  I have this whole “consciousness” thing that I’m working on in my head right now.  Anyway, it was weird, I tried to hold on to that little piece of “me” … if you know what I mean.  You know, even when you are dreaming, you kind of know where “me” is.  But, it was weird.  I couldn’t do it.  It was like complete blankness.  And he was right, it was quick, but, it didn’t go all at once, like slamming a door.  It was slower like drawing a curtain.  And I could feel it come up over me and then the next thing I knew I was waking up.  Although, according to Mrs. Dragon, I had been awake and interacting with people WAY before I knew I was.  And using some pretty profane language to boot.

Oh well.  I’m sure they’ve heard worse.

Or at least as bad.

Or maybe similar.

I sure hope I didn’t curse in draconian.  That sometimes can leave a mark.

Well … anyway … I made it and I’m mostly healthy and all is well and it’s time to laugh about other things now.

lets laugh

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That’s about 174 pounds for us Americans …

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Society has become so fake that the truth actually bothers people.

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As you all know, the  following is a HUGE hot button for me.  And here is another GREAT essay sent in by our own dear friend and fellow camper, Pete.  Thank you, Pete for sharing this with all of us. 

Take a knee…

Take a little trip to Valley Forge in January. Hold a musket ball in your Fingers and imagine it piercing your flesh and breaking a bone or two.

There won’t be a doctor or trainer to assist you until after the battle, so Just wait your turn. Take your cleats and socks off to get a real Experience.

Then, take a knee on the beach in Normandy where man after American man Stormed the beach, even as the one in front of him was shot to pieces, the Very sea stained with American blood. The only blockers most had were the dead bodies in front of them, riddled with bullets from enemy fire.

Take a knee in the sweat soaked jungles of Vietnam. From Khe Sanh to Saigon, anywhere will do. Americans died in all those jungles. There was no Playbook that told them what was next, but they knew what flag they Represented. When they came home, they were protested as well, and spit on for reasons only cowards know.

Take another knee in the blood drenched sands of Fallujah in 110 degree Heat. Wear your Kevlar helmet and battle dress. Your number won’t be printed on it unless your number is up! You’ll need to stay hydrated but There won’t be anyone to squirt Gatorade into your mouth. You’re on your Own.

There are a lot of places to take a knee where Americans have given their Lives all over the world. When you use the banner under which they fought As a source for your displeasure, you dishonor the memories of those who bled for the very freedoms you have. That’s what the red stripes mean. It represents the blood of those who spilled a sea of it defending your Liberty.

While you’re on your knee, pray for those that came before you, not on a manicured lawn striped and printed with numbers to announce every inch of ground taken, but on nameless hills and bloodied beaches and sweltering forests and bitter cold mountains, every inch marked by an American life Lost serving that flag you protest.

No cheerleaders, no announcers, no coaches, no fans, just American men and women, delivering the real fight against those who chose to harm us, blazing a path so you would have the right to “take a knee.” You haven’t any inkling of what it took to get you where you are, but your “protest” is duly noted. Not only is it disgraceful to a nation of real heroes, it serves the purpose of pointing to your ingratitude for those who chose to defend you under that banner that will still wave long after your jersey is retired.

If you really feel the need to take a knee, come with me to church on Sunday and we’ll both kneel before Almighty God. We’ll thank Him for preserving this country for as long as He has. We’ll beg forgiveness for our ingratitude for all He has provided us. We’ll appeal to Him for understanding and wisdom. We’ll pray for liberty and justice for all, because He is the one who provides those things. But there will be no Protest. There will only be gratitude for His provision and a plea for His continued grace and mercy on the land of the free and the home of the Brave.

Author unknown to me.

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I don’t deny you your right to protest, but not EVER during the playing of Our National Anthem!

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Um… no, never mind.  Go ahead, I’m curious to see the results.

I can eat sugar with either hand …

I’m ambidextrose!

3a2

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Yeah, but you know, if you gotta be …

Feet (noun) – a device used for finding Legos in the dark.

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Breathtaking

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This is what the Dark Hedges of Northern Ireland look like.

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Oh, by the way … I’m up to July 6th on my emails … which means I’m still 2 weeks behind!

Not me, but a friend worked in a call center for a credit card company in the disputes department.  The number one item people called to say they never purchased … “interest charge”.

4b

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dragon pics

attacking castle gate

Is the Lady of the House home?

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Know

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Not surprising one single bit.

Thanks to Lynn for this one …

A duel was fought between Alexander Shott and John Nott in June 1849.

Nott was shot and Shott was not. In this case it is better to be Shott than Nott.

Some said that Nott was not shot. But Shott says that he shot Nott.

It may be that the shot Shott shot, shot Nott, or it may be possible that the shot Shott shot, shot Shott himself. We think, however, that the shot Shott shot, shot not Shott, but Nott. Anyway it is hard to tell who was shot and who was not.

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I really have questions …

fantasy

fantasy_(51)

Yes, I’m home … what do you want?

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Studies have shown that intelligent people swear more than stupid motherfuckers.

Yeah … maybe I’ll stick with that one …

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The fact that Hooters hasn’t launched a home delivery service called Knockers seems like a missed business opportunity to me.

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Okay … I am NOT claustrophobic, I mean, come on, I wear a gas mask for a living, but just watching this and thinking about it, freaks me OUT!!  It damn well better open up on the other side!

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F.Y.I. You pee on a jellyfish sting, not on a jelly stain.  Again, my apologies to the lady at the Waffle House this morning.

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Survival Tip:  If you get lost in the woods, start talking about politics and someone will show up to argue with you.

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Weird Fact

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The number of bourbon barrels in Kentucky outnumbers the state’s population by more than two million.

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motivate

Face it

face palm

Facebook

Facebook2

facebook3

facepaw

fact

Fact2

Fact3

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Imagine how much sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip-flops.

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Cleaning is just putting stuff in less obvious places.

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So, apparently 50% of homeowning is hearing strange noises and hoping they are made by ghosts because I can’t afford to fix them.

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If they want to change “mom” to “birthing person” what are they going to call fathers, “fertilizers?”

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And this is what “true friends” do to one another.

Never blame someone else for the road you’re on.

That’s your own asphalt.

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How to cook crack and clean a crab

Step one: Use commas

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The inventor of spellcheck has died.

His funnel is tomato.

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If loving books is a crime … I’m looking at life without parole.

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Parenting Expert:  Children model the behavior they see.

Me:  False!  They see me clean, but they do not clean.

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1998:  Don’t get in a car with strangers.

2008:  Don’t meet people from the internet alone.

2019:  Uber … Order yourself a stranger from the internet to get into a car with alone.

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“When I was 16 I worked in a pet store, and they fired me because … they had three snakes, and one day I braided them.” ~ Steven Alexander Wright

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And that my dear friends, is that.  Another one bites the dust.  And this one is put to rest.  I hope you had as much fun as I did.  Much love and happiness to you all, until next time.

Cheers,

Impish Dragon

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1 Response to Dragon Laffs #1918

  1. Leah D says:

    Remember when I told you I choose which rating star to give you, by how many things I steal? Well, I just wanted you to know, they all get high ratings on FB!
    To be honest, the biggest reason I post them on FB, is so I can get a jab in to educate my grandchildren . . . yah, every ‘toon’ comes with a comment from me.

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