Dragon Laffs #1851


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hotair40

Good Morning Campers,

Happy Monday!  Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day!  It’s Saturday morning and while you guys are reading the last issue, I’m working on this 0aa1one.    Really crappy night’s sleep last night, so I find myself this morning chanting to my coffee, “Come on, you sexy bitch.  Do your magic!” 

But, so far … nuthin’.

Anyway, it’s early in the morning.  6 am.  And I crawled out to the living room and there’s Mrs. Dragon, watching her murdery shows, her not being able to sleep again last night.  And she gives me this look, like, 0aathey may not have been able to get away with it on TV, but I’ll bet I could.  Like it was a challenge or something.  I really gotta get that channel taken off the TV.

But, it’s the weekend.  Got a darts tournament today, got a couple of days off, and got time to spend with you guys.  All is well with the world.  At least this tiny corner of it.  And at least for now.  And that’s all any of us can really ask for, right?  Live in the moment and live for now.  Enjoy what we have, while we have it, right?  And battle the bullshit with laughter!  WhoooAhhh!!!   So, let’s do this!

Let's laugh

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Instead of asking me to shut his bedroom door so the hallway nightlight didn’t keep him up last night, my son asked me to shut his door “to let the darkness in.”

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I watched my dad and my niece (3 at the time) arguing over a pair of pants and whether or not they were also a dress.  My niece’s argument was that they were, in fact, also a dress because they were blue.

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Oh come on!  It’s a math joke.

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Okay, we haven’t done these for a while …

a1

a2

a3

a4

a5

a6

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trex
Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

 

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Dragon pics

100d

Go ahead.  Try it.  See how that works out for you…

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Due to my isolation, I finished 3 books yesterday.  And believe me, that’s a lot of coloring.

And speaking of books, I’m up to 96 since April 1st of last year … let’s see, that’s 96 books in 296 days or 1 book every 3.08 days.  Damn!  I’ve slowed down!  I’m on track to read 118 books in a year.  My original goal was to read 100 books in a year and I was on track to read 120, now it looks like 118, but on April 1st of 2021 I guess we’ll see.

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406

So, It’s not 100% Impish Dragon, I did modify something that was sent to me by someone else, but I did add to it, put it under the picture and the previous person did not put their name to it, so I did.

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Guys are starting to line up for their Corona shots …

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Fantasy

f2011040502

My sister-in-laws, Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos … also known as the three fates.

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4 Things You Can’t Get Back:

The stone after it’s thrown.

The word after it’s said.

The occasion after it’s missed.

The time after it’s gone.

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If common sense was lard, most people wouldn’t be able to grease a pan.

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I get that one … a lot!

Wife:  Can you stop yawning when I’m talking to you?

Husband:  I’m not yawning, I’m trying to say something!

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Ever look at someone and think, “Why has no one hit you with a shovel yet?”

All the fucking time.

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Motivational

ysoab

Zepplins

zippers

Zombie Campaigns

Zombies

zombies2

ZOMFG

Zucchini

OUCH!

And that’s the end of my Motivational Posters…so that means in the near future, I’ll start all over again, for the second time in fifteen years.  That’s a crap load of Motivational Posters.  2,526 of them to be exact.

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Okay … and in the category of 0a1

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And here is the rest of the article … https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/ohio-woman-accused-of-trying-to-steal-a-christmas-tree-by-hiding-it-in-her-vagina/

And okay …. say it with me …

0a

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I regularly drive to the pub, but am never guilty of drink driving. The secret is to consume so much alcohol that by closing time you have completely forgotten ever owning a car.

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Have you ever worked in an office where someone insisted upon listening to their voice mail using the speakerphone (at full volume, naturally)?

It can be really irritating.  There was this fellow in my office who was the ultimate offender.  I found a fairly easy fix for that, though.

Have a female friend call his desk when he’s not there and leave a message like this:  “Hi, this is Candy from 1-900-HOT-BABE.  You haven’t paid for the ‘toys’ we sent you, you naughty boy.  You wouldn’t want us to come over there and spank you, would you?”

It’s the last time you hear that particular speakerphone, I can assure you.

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Smell gas? Locate the suspected leak by striking an ordinary match in every room in the house until a loud explosion reveals the source of the escaping gas.

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X-Files fans. Create the effect of being abducted by aliens by drinking two bottles of vodka. You’ll invariably wake up in a strange place the following morning, having had your memory mysteriously “erased.”

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Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes’ eyes bulge and causes them to swim in an amusing manner.

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Don’t waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand closer to the object you wish to view.

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An empty aluminum cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.

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This morning my son said his ear hurt and I said in the inside or the outside.  So, he walks out the front door, comes back in and says both.  Moments like this got me wondering if I’m saving too much for college.

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This chef on TV just said, “Where there’s fat, there’s flavor.”  I know he was talking about food, but I still took it as a compliment.

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I’ve gotten some really interesting comments from you guys, so let’s use those as an impetus into today’s …

Last Word

3cTOM H

By the way, that statue of Liberty is not right either, the torch on the true statue is in the right hand, in the picture it shows it in the left hand. Maybe a subtle clue as to who wants an armed march on the capitols?

Yup, there’s a lot of little clues.  It’s like they want us to figure it out…or they are poking fun at us for not figuring it out.  Or even telling us, we know you know who it is, but there’s nothing you can do about it.  Drives me crazy.

Stephanie

In regards to the capitol incident, why were they caught off guard? They, congress, have been doing all they can to split the county for as long as I’ve been alive. It happened. Their plan finally worked. Group A must hate and fight Group B. To make sure the revolution happens, add a few strategically placed paid trouble makers. Voila.
Who opened the capitol does to let them in anyway?

Steph, I don’t think they were caught off guard.  I think they were purposely told to stand down so that exactly what could happen, could happen.  It’s all part of the bigger plan.  Now there are 30,000 troops in our nation’s capital.  There are more damn troops in Washington D.C. then we have in all of the Middle East right now.  All it’s going to take is some trigger happy moron and there’s going to be a blood bath … and I think that’s exactly what the democrats want!  As I heard someone else say … (and I’m paraphrasing here) if you need 25,000 troops to protect your inauguration maybe it’s because you weren’t the person the people actually fucking elected!

Marsha M

Yes I understand your problem…let me share some of my excuses with you…basically when I open my mouth I offend someone…P…..are everywhere..see I mean cats….1. Sorry I’m a jersey girl…that works quiet often…live in Missouri now…2 Sorry I’m from the East it’s in the water there…3. Like everyone else i offend they dont like the current president so i blame him…this 1 works the best when dealing with the zombies…mindless creatures. I have to tell you this too..a while back while talking with my elderly dad I ask him if he remembered how the hippies of the 60s upset him so….he said yes they still do, even more now..He said who do you think is in public office or funding the current mess…Bet he is right. What ya think? I can picture Nancy at a sit in….oh my dont want to picture her at a love fest….can I have a stick to poke out my minds eye…….i need to go bleach my brain….

Oh Dear Marsha!  Now I do, too! 

Yes, indeed.  It is the hippies of the 60s who are now running our country.  Peace, Love, Dope!  Well, I slid right past that time frame myself, but I still know that the damn bills have to be paid and the lights need to stay on.  TANSTAAFL!  As Bob Heinlein used to say.  Anything you get for free, some one else has to pay for.  We’ve got a million man caravan marching up from Central America right now wanting Uncle Joe Biden’s free handouts.  The dumb ass kids want their college loans paid for, everyone wants their stimulus checks, and the Fucking Chinese are just buying up everything they can get their hands on.  WHERE THE HELL DO YOU PEOPLE THINK ALL THIS MONEY IS COMING FROM???!!!!  Do you want to pay $10 for a loaf of bread?  Oh, that’s okay, cause Uncle Joe says he’s raising the minimum wage to $15 an hour.  Well, how much of that $15 do you actually think you’re going to keep when they raise taxes to 75%?!? 

READ THE FINE PRINT YOU IDIOTS!  That’s the part that gets me the most … the average person out there can’t add 2 and 2 and come up with 4 a significant amount of times.

See!

SEE!!!

Here I am ranting again!  Dammit! 

I’m a fucking prophet!  A soothsayer!  I predict a future where the idiots have gotten everything they wanted and the rest of us have to pay for it. 

They are talking about a gun buy-back.  And the commentator on Fox News said, “and they haven’t said yet whether it’s going to be voluntary or mandatory.”  Oh trust me campers, it will start out as voluntary … give you a little money to help you pay for that ten dollar bread, help you feed your babies, why do you need guns when we have UN troops in the streets to keep you safe.  Don’t let it bother you that they are all Chinese.  Then it will be a mandatory buy back, but you would have gotten a much better price for that Glock 9 if you had brought it in when it was voluntary…

… then they will come door to door and take the rest of them …

… and shoot the ones who resist.

A fucking prophet… yeah, and they killed Cassandra, too. 

Oh, look it up!

Dammit, now I’m pissed off!

You want mine?  Come and get it.  Like when they asked the truck driver, what would you do if you were going down a steep grade and the brakes suddenly went out?  He said, “I’d wake my partner up in the sleeper, cause he ain’t never seen a crash like this.”

This is ending up being a very scattered Last Word, but that’s the way I’m receiving these emails and my thoughts and for that … I apologize.  Here’s a regular email from another prophet …

I guess being a dragon who can fly and do other things that most of us can only dream of, you also get news sources that some of us don’t. I subscribe to a few conservative news programs and try to get the truth when I can. Some of the truth I get is from being able to see it and some is from simple common sense. I know common sense is almost extinct but some of us still have it. I’ll say what I believe (while I still can) and would like your opinion about it.  

I think President Trump and his supporters were set up and walked right into it at the Wednesday incident at the capital in Washington DC. They blame Trump for causing an “insurrection riot” and causing death, etc. You said it yourself, “This is not who we are”. You are correct and if Trump said anything to incite or cause disorder, why aren’t we hearing his words over and over through the media? If he was the cause, why did trouble start at the capital long before he even made his speech? CNN reported that some people left the Trump speech early and they had climbing gear and ropes in their cars. Who were those people? I think they were Antifa and BLM. Why else would they leave a speech in progress? Part of the set-up! I doubt that the CNN reporter realized what he was saying would backfire like it did.

Now I have another question to ask. If so many voted to elect Joe Biden and the entire country is so happy about a liberal taking office, why are they deploying 25,000 military personal to Washington DC on inauguration day? Five times the number of troops in Iraq and Afghanistan combined!  Here in Oregon we are told that the national guard will be deployed to help distribute the virus vaccine. I say, BULLSHIT! We don’t even have any vaccine left, or have very little. The guard is being sent out because of the expected riots and we aren’t being told the truth…again.

I’m afraid we are being set up again on a much larger scale. I keep reading and hearing that the FBI has been receiving a large number of warnings that there will be massive violence in all capital cities by far right protesters on or near inauguration day. They always stress that these will be “armed” protesters. I think what will happen is, peaceful conservatives will be attacked by left wing nuts and riots will be the outcome. When it’s over the left will be innocent and Trump supporters will be blamed. I can see it as a nationwide set-up and again the republicans are going to walk right into it. Watch it unfold and then tell me I was wrong—if you can. If ever I wanted to be wrong, I do now.

Tom J  

Yup, Tom…we were all set up.  Marvelously.  And I have this horrible feeling we’re going to walk right into it again next week.  Yes, I am privy to information that a lot of other people aren’t, but there is stuff out there, open source, that you can get to if you look for it.  And if you use your head…and think logically. 

No, President Trump didn’t incite anything.  It started before he even started his speech, so how could he incite anything?  But, that matters not to the evil people.  The whole thing with the impeachment isn’t about what happened, it’s about keeping him away from politics in the future.

The American people are being played for fools and we’re letting it happen.  There are so many different aspects of this going on all at the same time …

I really don’t know my friends. 

May God bless you all and keep you until we meet again.

Cheers 

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4 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1851

  1. Brian Thomas says:

    My sources are saying to make sure all your vehicles are fully gassed, pantry fully stocked, buy as much ammo as you can, get a generator and MANY cans of fuel. Things are about to get real ugly and we may be going back to living like it was 100 years ago. Candles and alternate cooking methods will also help. By the way, I have been reading all you e-zines since at least 2010ish??? I still see some pics or cartoons that I sent (back when I still had some hair). When you have a paid day off don’t call it vacation. Being that we are close to the same age we have a practice retirement!!

  2. Leah D says:

    Trump is slated to be assassinated. Simply impeaching him, takes away what any retiring president receives. However, because of Former Presidents Act of 1958, he will still be protected by the Secret Service. That’s why Nancy is pushing for a vote of Treason, because then he wouldn’t be protected by them. Some say he is rich, he will hire his own body guards. But you, oh divine leader of the dragon cult, know what’s wrong about that . . . the Secret Service has connections to all the information, body guards don’t.
    I remember the McCarthy era, a black time! We came out of that. I still have a slim hope for our future.
    Which reminds me, fat chance is not the same as slim chance. Fat chance is basically translated as No Way In Hell, whereas Slim chance means, Can’t See It Happening, But Maybe It Will. Anyone who wants to dispute that, must be 73 or older, or you will just be labeled green behind your ears.

  3. Hank Hoeksema says:

    Your rants echo my thoughts precisely. I am within spitting distance of being 80. I worry my children, Grandchildren, and Great children will not live in the America I have loved

    • Stephanie says:

      I have the same fear. Tried to tell my kids about it, they didn’t/don’t believe. God tells us to pray and He will heal our land. Ŵe need a revival.

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