Dragon Laffs #1805


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Good Morning Campers,2a1a

Welcome to thirsty Thursday!  Tonight is 0definitely going to be a night for Jameson!  I have a visit from higher headquarters bigwigs today, so you know what that means!  Yup, double shots tonight!  Some big visit with big inspections and all kinds of silly puzzle palace type stuff… yup, I can hardly wait.

Soooooooooo …. between now and then, what we have to do is …

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I’m going with the car wash

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I’m not really an asshole.  My parents just didn’t teach me how to say “FUCK YOU” politely.  Sorry about that.

Wait … No I’m not.

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The “L” in my luck has been replaced with an “F”.

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Boy, ain’t that the truth!  How many working class people out there can agree with that one!

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I have to share this one with you.  My good buddy Wheats is back east at the moment, in a blue state where they are doing a really, really stupid thing.  Let me show you the picture first:
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You can’t really tell, but the straw is a paper straw, because you know, plastic is evil … but they have it shoved in a PLASTIC LID!!!  Can you please tell me WHAT FUCKING SENSE THAT MAKES???  Paper straws suck!  Or actually, they don’t suck … AND THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO!!!!

Geez!

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I don’t do well with hints.

You’re an adult.

Speak your fucking mind.

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She passed on the scalloped potatoes because, “I don’t really like seafood.”  It was at that moment where I knew she was dumb enough to sleep with me.

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This truly and seriously PISSED ME OFF!!!!!!

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PBS journalist suggests that a paralyzed man standing up is racist https://thepostmillennial.com/pbs-journalist-suggests-that-a-paralyzed-man-standing-up-is-racist

PBS Newshour’s White House correspondent Yamiche Alcindor criticized Madison Cawthorn, a paraplegic congressional candidate, for standing up out of his wheelchair at the conclusion of his Republican National Convention speech last night.

One wonders if Alcindor would have had the same sentiments for the many disabled veterans who stood for the national anthem at the end of the evening as she did for Cawthorn.

“It was a direct rebuke of actions by ppl—including black athletes who are currently sitting out games—protesting police brutality,” tweeted Alcindor.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?  He stood up to prove that if he can stand for the Pledge of Allegiance and the National Anthem when he is in a wheel chair then anyone can.  And this fucking bitch is going to turn it into something FUCKING RACIST!  The only racist here is you, you stupid disgusting piece of shit.  What the fuck are you doing being a White House correspondent?  YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!

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Sitting in a recliner, watching a movie, eating ice cream and Doritos, minding my own business, and Walmart calls the cops.

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But it was indeed what you asked for.

So it’s Tuesday, leading up to my Thursday … and if today was any indication … it’s gonna be a crappy week.

Ladies, you can tell a lot about a man by how dogs react to him.  For example, if the police K9 is biting him, he may not be ideal.

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Whenever someone invites me to their home and I see more than 3 cars parked outside, I keep driving past, just in case it’s an intervention.

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Husband:  Why are defective condoms lying on the sofa??

Wife:  What??  Where??

Wife goes to find them and comes back angry.

Wife:  I will kill you if you don’t stop calling our children “Defective Condoms.”

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Yeah, I know.  But, it was a hell of a party!

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You can’t stay you forever, but you can be immature for the rest of your life.

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Yup, the cops did.  And the firemen did.  Those evil bastards.  Those guys we have to protest against, right?

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Absolutely!  That is definitely worth burning and rioting and looting over!

Is my fucking sarcasm coming through strong enough for you?

Okay, I’m gonna have to take a break, cause I’m REALLY getting pissed off again.

Sigh….Wednesday and work has come and gone and another stress filled tough day and tomorrow is the day I’m not looking forward to … but by the time it gets here you guys will be reading this and it will all be in the past and I’ll have already gotten through it … or be in jail.  Those have got to be my only two choices … don’t they?  I’m sure there are probably other choices available to me, but those are the two I like best, so I’m going with them.

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Oh my dear God, I need brain bleach!!!

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Now that puts a whole new spin on the Wizard of Oz

I’m great at multitasking, I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

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Give a man some BBQ, and he will eat for a day.

Teach a man to BBQ, and he’ll sit by the smoker and drink beer all day.

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Phone Sex 15

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Yeah, definitely no weirdoes wanted.

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After six months of listening to people talk with masks on I finally understand what Charlie Brown’s teacher was saying.

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The Bozo Criminal for today comes from Boston, Massachusetts where it is illegal to intercept police radio transmissions. As you might think, it is rather difficult to capture people using these illegal scanners. Police came up with an ingenious plan. They sent out hoax messages on police radio frequencies about little green men in flying saucers landing in the downtown area. When carloads of bozos showed up looking for the aliens, police confiscated their scanning equipment and warned the bozos that scanning police frequencies was against the law.  Why doesn’t this even surprise me?

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And Tuesdays … and Wednesdays … and …

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This one is from Sasquatch … but I agree 100%.  He’s called it: Here’s a good question:

The Democratic leaders of Congress kneel in the halls of Congress for about 9 minutes, for the death of a black man named George Floyd and other persons.

I have never seen them kneel for a fallen Police Officer.

I have never seen them kneel for a fallen Soldier.

I NEVER SAW THEM KNEEL FOR THE SOLDIERS THAT HILLARY AND OBAMA LEFT TO DIE IN Benghazi!!

I have never seen them kneel for the thousands of (black and white) babies aborted EVERY DAY.

I have never seen them kneel for a murdered white man or woman.

I have not seen them kneel for the thousands of black-on-black murder victims.

I have not seen them kneel for the thousands of elderly people that died in nursing homes due to the Corona Virus.

I have to ask: WHY are Democrats putting the life of George Floyd as more valuable than the lives of everyone else?

In fact, Democrats have put so much value on the life of George Floyd, they have allowed rioting, looting, arson, murder, and mayhem in communities Nationwide…

ASK YOURSELF – WHY NOW?”

IF YOU HATE AMERICA, VOTE FOR THE DEMOCRATS.

The family (brothers and sister) of George Floyd opened a Go Fund Me account to “help the family”?  It has already raised $14,455,100.00 and still counting from donations as of June 22, 2020.  Yes, almost $14 1/2 MILLION.

This is for a guy who was arrested NINE times; was a convicted drug dealer (and at a drug deal the day he died); held a gun to the stomach of a pregnant lady while his five buddies robbed her home; did prison time three different times totaling about eight years, and obviously didn’t learn from our penal system.  And America is memorializing him by painting murals of the guy on the sides of buildings like he’s a hero?  Unbelievable!!  You got to be kidding me.

Crime does pay!  …..and to pour salt in the wound, Pelosi presented his brother a folded American flag flown over the Capitol in his honor in a beautiful tri-cornered presentation case.

Pleosi is a fucking bitch and should be ashamed of herself, but we all learned a long time ago, that bitch has no shame.

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It’s time to REMOVE ANYONE from Office who can not or will not take the Oath of Office on the Bible, swear allegiance to our flag, and follow the laws of the Constitution of the United States.

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Time to call it a night.  May you all have a great day until we meet again.  Love and happiness to you all.

Cheers!

Impish Dragon

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4 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1805

  1. Leah D says:

    Marsha, may I add my favorite reason to wear a mask . . . I don’t have to put my false teeth in!

  2. Leah D says:

    An intersection in Minneapolis will now be named after George Floyd, following a unanimous city council vote Friday.
    The site where Floyd drew his last breath, at the intersection of 38th Street and Chicago Avenue,
    has since been transformed into a memorial site and maintained by volunteers.
    And if you think that’s bad, visit this site: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_name_changes_due_to_the_George_Floyd_protests

  3. Stephanie says:

    The wonderful thing about inspections is that they do end. Where I worked for many years the national board inspections always accomplished the same results.
    On the days of inspection there will not only be adequate staff, you may be tripping over each other.
    The month before inspection the place will be cleaned. New garbage cans in some areas. Biohazard receptacles will be where they should be.
    The workers who will answer all questions correctly will be on duty. The ones who tell the truth will have the days off.
    Every supply carry will be fully stocked with plenty of extras.
    All specialists will be on site and available on a moments notice.
    Results that reflect the positive will result in back patting and a paid vacation to the upper echelon.
    Results that suggest improvements that would cost money or require appropriate staffing will be ignored and never be mentioned.
    Results that suggest something was wrong will be blamed on those who have nothing to do with the problem.

    Been there too many times my friend.

  4. Marsha Mastrangelo says:

    Now so you can tell folks what you think without offending…start with stop being a rectal orrivis…and if that doesn’t end it tell them to go have sex by themselves…that also let’s you know their IQ and we have laws about the mentally challenged… and some of the reasons I like wearing a mask.1 no longer have to wear lipstick…2. Can smile or laugh at those in walmart attire that think they look good..3 can walk away or avoid those I meet in walmart then later claim…was that you? Sorry didn’t recognize you with your mask on…

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