Good Morning Campers,

Sorry to say that I’m still in a lot of pain so today is probably going to be just a bunch of cartoons and memes.  I really gotta get to the damn dentist.  So without anything else…let’s get to the funny stuff.

“I’ve just build a model of Mount Everest.”

“Is it to scale?”

“No, just to look at.”

Paddy rings his new girlfriend’s doorbell, with a big bunch of flowers.  She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him in.  She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips her knickers off and says, “This is for the flowers!”

“Don’t be silly,” says Paddy, “you must have a vase somewhere!”

I went to the auto motive supply store and ask for a car jack.

Two guys came out dressed in black and ski mask and I said give me your car.!

A Grizzly kept going in and out of his cave all day.

I tell you this because it bears repetition.

The first five Florists I called from the phone book knew nothing about carpet or tile.  And suddenly, I’m the idiot.

I refused to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft.  But when I got home, all the signs were there.

The man on the news said at the end of the day what’s going to keep you safe is common sense.

Some of y’all in trouble …

A QUEEN and a famous porn star died on the same day

when they fronted up to St Peter he told them there was only one space left for that day, and they’d have to argue their respective cases.The porno star ripped off her top and said, “These are the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I’m sure it will please HIM greatly to be able to gaze upon them for eternity.”

The Queen said nothing, but hiked up her skirt, pulled down her royal underwear, shook up a bottle of Perrier she had in her handbag, then douched her vagina with it.

St Peter nodded and let the Queen pass through the pearly gates.

“What the fuck is all that about?” yelled the porn star. “I show you two of God’s greatest achievements and NOTHING! That old bitch performs a disgusting act and you let her in?”

“Sorry, my child,” said St Peter, “but a royal flush beats a pair every time.”

That is the most perfect statement of all time.

I helped my neighbor out with something today and she said to me, “I could marry you.”

I couldn’t believe it!  You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your entire life in return.

Leah D wrote a follow up to the railroad size thing.

I sent the bit about why railroads are a certain size to my brother, a history professor.  He wrote this back to me.

Early on, the US had a number of gauges of railroad, depending on the companies who ran them. It was during the Civil War, when  men and materiel had to be moved and moved quickly that the 4’ 8” standard was adopted, it having been handed down from the Romans and integrated into so much that was the width of roads of all kinds.  The narrow gauge railroads still continued, mostly in places where there were tight turns—like the railroad coming from Mack, Colorado into the old Dragon Mine down below Vernal; it was narrow gauge. The Durango to Silverton Railroad is a narrow gauge, too. 

Thanks for that bit of catch up history Leah.

I’ve read and/or watched everyone of those. 

And speaking of books … I’ve read 40 books in 55 days.  …. just sayin’

And that’s it my friends.  I know it wasn’t much, but I hope you all got a laugh out of it.  Probably expect issues intermittently over the next couple of days as things around here tend to go back and forth with work and such.  Love and happiness to you all.

Cheers,

Impish Dragon