Dragon Laffs #1719 — Day 36


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Wednesday

Good Morning Campers,

I have to warn you now, that you will probably not have an issue on Friday because I will be very busy and away from my computer on Thursday.  We have things going on on the base that I must attend to, so that will preclude me from being available to attend to you.  Yes, I know that my priorities are skewed and that you all should be my primary focus, but at times, I must attend to my other duties.  I apologies profusely for that and hope, in some small way, to make up for it.

I’ll be heading out shortly to go to the base to attend to some meetings that I have so why don’t we get to laughing while we have a chance?  What say you?  Well, I do believe that I have heard a rousing cheer amongst the throng, so it shall be done!

LetsLaugh

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Okay, there is way too much going on in this area! 

If you ever think mythology is boring …

Just remember that Cerberus, the hell-hound and guard dog of the Underworld, comes from the root Indo-European word Kerberos, which evolved into the Greek word Kerberos, which got changed to Cerberus when it went from Greek to Latin …

Kerberos means “spotted”

that’s right …

Hades, Lord of the dead, literally named his pet dog Spot

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All I want to do is lose weight and gain money.

Yet, here I am gaining weight and losing money.

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The word “overmorrow” is an obsolete term meaning “The day after tomorrow”

I like that.  I may have to start using that!

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I went to go to the vagina museum but accidentally went in the building next door. – The place was a shit hole.

1045

If you show me your boobs, I’ll show you my tattoos.

Tit for tat …

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I had this one night stand and I felt so bad about it…so, the next morning, I raced out and bought another one for the other side of my bed.

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Back in my day, “buttlicker” was a top shelf, break in case of emergency, schoolyard insult.  Nowadays, it is a selectable option on most dating sites.

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Yup, I get it…and Izzy Dragon calls me a Boomer all the time.  That’s alright, I call her a Tweezer.  It’s driving her crazy trying to figure out what it means.

1049

And yet another reason I’m not on Facebook.

Now I’m being told of a protest being planned for this Saturday to get out and March on State Capitals and State Parks and such to protest the lockdown.  Now doesn’t that make perfect sense.  Let’s all get together to protest a fucking virus that is transmitted by being close together!  Do you people not understand what’s going on?  Why not protest the weather?

Okay, I understand that it’s hard on a lot of people.  Truly I do.  And that we need to start opening up the states, and put people back to work.  I know that.  But, we need to be smart.  We need to do it the right way.  soapbox

Like out on our base, we’ve been talking about this exact thing.  You bring back the people first who are young and healthy and able to withstand the abuse this virus is liable to throw at them.  You maintain social distancing, you keep face masks on, and the older, more vulnerable population, those with conditions that make them more vulnerable are the last group of people to come back to work, the ones who continue to telework the longest.  You take steps. 

You do the same thing throughout the community.  You take steps.  You open back up slowly and with rules.  You don’t just open up the doors and say everything is the way it used to be.

And how in the hell do you think a PROTEST is going to help?  It’s like a five-year-old throwing a temper tantrum, lying on the floor and kicking his feet because he can’t have a candy before supper!  And just like a five-year-old, you people deserve to have your butt walloped!  Yes, it’s not fair.  Yes, it’s hard.  But again, what are you going to do about it?  You have just as much success protesting the wind!

Here’s a better plan!

This Saturday, let’s take the time to help each other out.  Check with your friends and neighbors and see if someone needs something that you can supply.  Maybe they need someone to do some shopping for them, a car repair that you can help with, mowing the lawn that one of your kids can do, cooking a meal, sharing some food, I’m sure there are a hundred more things that you can think of, without getting hundreds of people together to pass a virus along to infect me and my loved ones!

This whole thing has been pushed along by the far right wing nut jobs who are looking for excuses to rile people up.  Half of them are the gun nuts and the second amendment crazies.  And yes, I am a strong believer in the second amendment, and I am a believer that you can have my gun when you can pry it out of my cold dead fingers, but what in the HELL does that have to do with the lockdown or the coronavirus?  And the other half of them are just plain crazy.  They want to see anarchy for anarchy’s sake!  They don’t care if it’s the whole 5G bullshit (which is idiocraty in it’s own right), flat-earth, aliens, white-supremacy, or the conspiracy of the month club!  If we can get people riled up about something, all the better.

People, go out and do something nice for someone.  It doesn’t have to be something really awesome.  Hold open a door for someone.  Are you going to the store for something?  Ask your neighbor if there’s something you can pick up for them.  Let someone ahead of you in line. 

Okay, I’m gonna kick this soapbox back under the counter where it belongs.

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Yes, I’m sorry youngsters…it’s another one.

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coollogo_com-73072376

Feats of Strength

Female Armor

Female Army

Female Gamers

Female Ninjas

Female_Storm_Troopers

Fetishes

fiber

Field Trips

Fight Club

Figure Skating

finally spring

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A quick note from James I had to share…

Hi.

This is going to be a solemn, no nonsense, no laughs, email.

I just clicked on the link to the lady singing “God bless the USA”. I IMMEDIATELY teared up.

Most of my working life has been in the US, I have tons of friends there, my office was in Mira Loma for 12 years, and with all the experiences I’ve had while down there, I am, in a lot of ways, a US citizen. Even without all that, we are neighbors, and what affects you, directly affects me. I would only wish good for all of you there, and I am hoping that things will improve for you all, soon.

God Bless the USA.

James.

I agree….It’s always a great song.  I don’t care who sings it, even if it’s a terrible rendition, it’s a great song.

Thanks for sharing brother.

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And an Impish Dragon appendum… send pictures…we’ll review, rate, and share the best ones.  Extra points for those of you who show special care taken to impress.

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slap1

Okay, I’m sure that’s for the last one, or two, or three, or …

Yeah….it’s been one of those days.

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Here’s one from Bill:

There were these twin sisters just turning one hundred years old in St. Luke’s Nursing Home and the editor of the Cambridge rag, “The Cambridge Distorter”, told a photographer to get over there and take the pictures of these 100 year old twin bitteys.

One of the twins was hard of hearing and the other could hear quite well. The photographer asked them to sit on the sofa and the deaf one said to her twin, “WHAT DID HE SAY?”

He said, “WE GOTTA SIT OVER THERE ON THE SOFA!”, said the other.

“Now get a little closer together”, said the cameraman.

Again, “WHAT DID HE SAY?” “HE SAYS SQUEEZE TOGETHER A LITTLE” – So they wiggled up close to each other.

“Just hold on for a bit longer, I’ve got to focus a little”, said the photographer.

YET AGAIN – “WHAT DID HE SAY?”

“HE SAYS HE’S GONNA FOCUS!”

With a big grin, the deaf twin shouted out, – “OH MY GOD – BOTH OF US?”

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Did you hear about the new Playboy magazine for married men?

It has the same centerfold every month.

1055

What about the guy with 5 penises?

His underwear fit like a glove.

1056

And there was a hole discovered in the fence that surrounds the nudist colony.

The police are looking into it.

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One must wonder what required this sign to be posted.

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0a2And that is it for me for today.  Remember, you can reach me at impishdragon@gmail.com or by leaving a comment on the blog.  Comments have been lagging lately, it’s like you guys 1adon’t love me any more.  This will all be coming to an end some day and then what will happen, huh?  You sure will miss me when I’m back down to one day a week again!  Take advantage of me while I’m here!  Write to me now!  You ever wanted to ask a dragon a question?  Now’s the time!  Get in while the gettings good!  Love to you all!  Cheers!

Impish Dragon

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1719 — Day 36

  1. Jerry Moore says:

    Normally the sick are put in quarantine, at what time have they ever quarantine healthy people especially quarantine them all together.

  2. Leah D. says:

    When does Being Smart, turn into Fanatical Lunatic?
    Guess I’m gonna find out, as Utah starts to reopen, but I will remain in total isolation.
    Here in Utah, doctor appointments are done by video visits, for those who have a camera and microphone set up.
    But for my baby brother, who doesn’t have them, all he got was a conference call.
    The connection was so poor, they could hardly make out what he was saying.
    But did catch the part about his cancer being “non-treatable”.

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