Dragon Laffs #1693–Day 8


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Good Morning Campers,

Wednesday 2

Crap!  It’s April Fool’s Day!  Today!  But, you won’t get this till tomorrow!  Which means it will be over!  Damn!  I don’t imagine many of you are in THAT kind of a joking mood anyway, so….until next year then I guess.

Unless of course something occurs to me.

Hee, Hee, Hee.

Anyway, let’s talk about the elephant in the room. (As opposed to talking about the dragon in the room, then we’d be talking about me and we do that all the time)

President Trump announced yesterday that we could see between 100,000 and 240,000 deaths over the next few weeks.  And that is scary.  The CDC says that as many as a fourth of those who have the virus could be walking around spreading it and not showing any symptoms.  Please, please stay at home and stay safe!  If nobody breathes on you, you can’t get the virus.  Now, I know you can’t completely lock yourself away, some of you still have to go out there and work and most of you still have to go out there and get groceries and stuff, but it’s also a percentage thing.  Limit your exposure.  The less you are out the less chance you have of catching this thing.  The further you stay away from people the less chance you have of catching it.  And the more often you wash your hands, the more often you have of killing something you may have accidentally caught.

That’s the long and the short of it.

So ………… for those of us who have been:

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blank dragon14

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Yeah, it’s an exciting time we live in! 

I want to take a moment, to thank William E. for the very generous donation to DragonLaffs!  Thank you!  It is deeply appreciated!  You have brought tears to my eyes.  It will be well needed.  Thank you!
thankyou2

465

Yup, that was an oldie, adapted from a previous emergency…but it’s still funny!

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Just imagine what happens when the internet goes out…oh, never mind.  I witnessed that for a short time over the weekend…and it was ugly!  That’s ugly with a capital UG!

Another crazy day at work and it’s still early!  But, man…if nothing else, it’s exciting.  Getting all kinds of phone calls and text messages and emails … great fun!

Yes…for those of you just tuning in, my idea of fun is a bit skewed.

How about some mail?

3c

Really like that gif for mail. LOL!

Here’s one from mom!  Seems like this is the way we’re going to keep in touch, so you guys get to share, I guess.

Diaman M

Good one…hope all is well with you. I’m doing good.

Mom

Thanks Mom!  Love hearing from you, and yup, I’m doing as well as can be expected under the circumstances.  We are all healthy and safe and that is the BEST that we can be.  Love you lots!

SMSgt Chuck G

I’m North of a little town called Albany which is North of New Orleans. We’re on 12 1/2 acres and surrounded on three sides by paper mill land. We’re the last house on the road so if you show up in our drive you’re one of three things; intentionally there to see us, woefully lost, or up to no damm good. That being said, I also have my own shooting range just across from the end of my driveway.

Okay, thanks Chuck!  So, there you have it.  If you show up at Chuck’s house and you don’t want to be part of his shooting range, you better be there to visit or be hopelessly lost! 

And, our daily letter from Leah D.

Leah D.

Our neighbors in Idaho apparently got jealous, and held their own earthquake.
I keep watch on what is happening in Yellowstone . . . can you imagine if it went off now?
After close to 700 aftershocks in our area quit, I find I am missing that vibrating of my chair!

Yeah, I’ve been getting messages over my super secret Emergency Manager underground network and they’ve been telling me that Idaho has been getting rocked lately.  Any Idaho readers out there?  You guys doing okay?

Trish G

I’m in South Carolina about 5 miles from Augusta Ga. I love your stuff. Learned the hard way not to drink anything while reading it. LOL Stay Safe and Thank you for your service.

Yup, drinking while reading DragonLaffs can be dangerous, as many have found out.  Thanks for your very kind words Trish!

Donald G

Just leaving a quick note of appreciation for what you do, ID. I’m sad that you have to work extra hard during this challenging time, but happy that I get extra issues of your great e-zine. (True confession time–I often steal stuff to post to my FB page).

I’m just an old retired fart living just outside of Rochester, NY and I try to find humor in everything. It’s easy with your posts.

Donnie

Thanks Donnie!  Yeah, but you know what?  It’s a damn good thing I love my job!  Both of them.  The one I do for the Government and the one I do here.  And it’s fine that you steal stuff for your Facebook page, cause I’m relatively sure that everything that I post is stolen from somewhere else.  As a matter of fact, I’ll go out on a limb here and say that unless it’s written in blue, it’s someone else’s.  LOL! 

And I’ll tell all you guys something else.  Everyone who writes to me and tells me where you live, I’ve gotten ahold of a map and I’m putting a dot and a name on it and as it fills up at some point in time I’ll publish it so you all can see it!

My personal Wi-Fi has been going in and out all day, which is awful nice.  Makes it super easy to get work done.  I had an hour long teleconference that I have to make notes on and Mrs. Dragon is making some of her homemade chili which is filling the house up with this great smell, so I’m just full of distractions this afternoon!!

Maggie

Impish,sir,
I regret that you must be quarantined, but love having the extra issues. I am retired and live in New Jersey.I hope that you and your family stay safe and well.
Maggie

Hey Jersey Girl!  (You know, there ain’t nuthin’ better than a Jersey Girl!) I’m not really quarantined … I’m teleworking … the difference being that on quarantine you HAVE to stay at home and work and on teleworking you GET to stay at home and work but you can leave if you want to.  This is social distancing taken to it’s proper extreme.  Everyone who CAN telework SHOULD telework.  I just took my office from work and set it up at home.  It looks like this:399
I think I showed it to you guys on the first day.  Now, I’ve added a couple of things to it since then, but basically… that’s it.  If they need me to come to work for whatever reason, I can be there in 15 minutes instead of 5. 

And yup, we are all safe and well, thanks for askin’.

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No kidding!

And here’s another one for you:

Isn’t it weird that people living from paycheck to paycheck are expected to have months worth of savings for emergencies while billion dollar corporations are so poorly managed they’re on the brink of bankruptcy after a week of reduced profits?

Motivational

Cheerleading

cheeseburgers

Chemistry

Chicks with guns

Child Prodigy

childhood

Child-proof Locks

children

Chivalry

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Chocolate Syrup

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Everyone please be careful tonight, there is a DUI checkpoint on the corner of hallway and kitchen …
Be Safe!

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Nothing should go back to normal.

Normal wasn’t working.

If we go back to the way things were we will have lost the lesson.

May we rise up and do better!

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Amen!  Surely there is something you know that your kids don’t know.  There is some skill you have that your kids don’t have.  I know some of you may have to think hard on this one.  I know you’re going to have to bypass a couple of those skillsets that you have, like being able to shotgun a beer, and drink more tequila shots than anyone else you know, but other than those skills, there’s got to be something!

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Okay my friends, just got a tweet from President Trump that says “Iran or its proxies are planning a sneak attack on US troops or assets in Iraq” and he says that, Iran “will pay a very heavy price.” So, I guess I got some more work to do tonight.  LOL!  I’m sure a lot of you have already seen this on the news or other sources since you are reading this tomorrow.  It ought to be an interesting evening.

And with that, I’m outta here for another day. 

Please remember to give me some stars…. oh wait, let’s look and see how many there are today…there were … what?  13 yesterday if I remember correctly, today there are…15!  And I went and checked yesterday and now there are 16!  Wow!  But there are almost 500 of you readers out there!  Surely some of you aren’t trying!

Okay, I’m not going to SHAME you into giving me stars….

And remember, you can send me jokes and cartoons at impishdragon@gmail.com I shamelessly plagiarize stuff, so no worries.  You can leave a comment by clicking on the comment thingy at the end, and you can send a donation like William E did and get thanked profusely! (Damn! That was so unexpected and so GREAT!  Thank you so much!)  Anyway, that’s it for today…until we meet again, we remain…..

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and remember to …

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Cheers!

Impish Dragon!

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2 Responses to Dragon Laffs #1693–Day 8

  1. Leah D says:

    Ok, I admit it . . . The number of stars I give an issue depends on how many items I stole to post or send to someone. This is an Excellent!

  2. Leah D. says:

    My husband and I are in total isolation. we don’t allow anyone into our home.
    Well, my friend has stage four lung cancer.. You’d think she would be quarantining, but she keeps going shopping at Walmart, etc. I told her she doesn’t need to worry about dying from cancer, she is going to die from the virus.
    She has a test today that is going to last 2 1/2 hours. This test was scheduled a LONG time ago, and back then, I said I would take her.
    Last night I told her I would take her, but would not go into the hospital with her. I did not want to even be around her, let alone others.
    This morning she called them, then me, saying she would drive herself. She would have to stay at the hospital awhile after the test, but that was no big deal.

    I was so relieved!

    But feel so guilty . . . .

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