Dragon Laffs #1688–Day 3


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Good Morning Campers,

Coffee

I gotta have coffee!

Death before dishonor, nothing before coffee!  That’s our mantra around here! 

Well, it all got exciting last night after I left you guys alone.  Got phone calls, and messages, and I was behind this silly control station until 2300 hrs. (That’s 11 pm to you civilian types)  And all I kept thinking was that I should open this computer up and talk to you guys, but I was too busy.  I’d tell you what was going on, but it was all top- secret-military-secret-squirrel “I’d tell you but then I’d have to kill you” sorta stuff.

No it wasn’t.  It was mostly bullshit, but it had to be done and sadly, it had to be done by me.  But, that’s why I get paid the little bucks.

Oh, and before I go on to the next thing, I just had to share this with you, I read a thing on NPR, and no, I have NO IDEA how I started getting an NPR email, but it shows up, I read it for a good laugh, and move on, but they were complaining about the fact that they hadn’t heard anything out of the CDC for like two weeks.  It was like where has the Centers for Disease Control gone?  Um…. my first thought is…Did you ever think that they’re Friggin’ BUSY?!?!

Geez!

Anyway, Let’s let you guys laugh, while I take care of some stuff, get some more caffeine, ‘cause God knows I’m cranky until I’m properly caffeinated.  So, …

blank dragon14 

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OMG!!!!!!!!!!!   That really looks like it hurts!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Okay, so I hate the fact that Word Press took away my ability to post videos on here…or it was YouTube or somebody did, so the best I can do is put links, but this one is so funny and so creative you just have to go see this person’s Facebook post: https://www.facebook.com/1841217619/posts/10212772229500854/

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Yup, that’s gonna be a problem for a lot of us now.

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Wow, now that’s been an interesting day.  Several hours…. like 6 … have gone by since I’ve been able to be back here, it’s been that busy of a day.  I’ve been inudated with phone calls and text messages and emails…. but that’s what it’s all about.  I’m glad I can be helping people.  Otherwise I’m just sitting here working on plans and checklists and well …. I’ve done an awful lot of that today, too.

But it’s all in good fun…well … not fun, fun … but … well … you know what I mean.  Let’s get back to the fun, shall we?

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Hell yes.  That does it for me!  I’m indoors!  Although …. I can’t see that working here.  Some of you are right now thinking … I wonder what lion tastes like with a little barbeque sauce.  I KNOW you are!

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Especially if they have kids like this Calvin…

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Yeah, the memories of the beatings…

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Gotta love the irony of a generation raised on making prank phone calls only to be terrorized by daily robo-calls now.

Yeah….. we kinda did that one to ourselves!

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Without mentioning names or going into details, so as not to get anyone into trouble, a camper has a relative who works in a place that is involved in testing for the virus and he wrote to our camper and said:

Much like the toilet paper shortages, testing supplies are gone. They are trying to triage testing to make it available when needed, but have to limit it until supplies are available. It’s hard and people will die, but that’s the reason people can’t be requesting it on their own. Healthy people have literally been going to hospitals wanting to be screened. Originally the test was to track the spread and where it was. They are working tirelessly to increase testing capacity and make things more available, but they will never keep up if people don’t practice social distancing

And what have I been telling you guys from the begging?  STAY HOME!  That’s the only way we are going to see our way through this thing.  Keep yourself and your families safe.  Sure, YOU may be young and strong, but are your parents?  Your friends?  How about your friends’ parents?  How about your baby-sitter’s sister’s boy-friend’s parents?  You don’t think you can affect them?

THINK AGAIN!!!!!

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It’s storming outside right now and my older dog is crying under the table I’m working at…so yeah… I can see that.  Easily, I can see that.

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Okay, time to do some of these….

coollogo_com-19011327

Breasts

Wait…. um…..

Breasts2

Stop…. didn’t we … um….

Breasts3

Okay, quit!  We did boobs the other day!  And besides!  I completely out of those kinds of posters, so on to other stuff!

Brilliance

British P

brokeback mountain2

Budget Crisis

Budget_Cuts

Buffer Spells

Buffy

Bullshit

Yup, some of us can probably even make a living at it.

Bumpy Road

No!  Get thee behind me boobage!  (But, slowly please.  Hey!  I am a guy after all)

bunnies

Bunnies2

Bunny

OMG, you sick bastard.
How can you put bunnies and boobies in the same section?
And you are talking about eating the bunnies?!

Seriously?  You are making this WAY too easy on me.

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Yup…. there you go

the perfect response

Mail Call 1

Well, mail is down today.  I guess yesterday’s issue was disappointing so no one wanted to comment on it.  SO FINE!  I SEE HOW YOU ALL ARE!  I’M SITTING HERE BUSTING MY … Okay, wait….I’m really not.  I’m working from home.  Living the good life.  Relaxing.  Okay, well, that’s not true either.  Probably somewhere in-between.  And the one comment I got kinda goes to prove that.  From on old buddy of mine…

SMSgt Chuck Gill

Bob, you sound so much better now that you have a bit of time for your self. More like the Bob I used to work with way back back when. Be well my friend and don’t let the beer virus get ya down! CG

Chuck, you old scoundrel how the heck are you?  Long time brother.  Yeah, it’s nice to have a little extra time.  It’s nice to be able to turn from one computer to another and to be able to share with friends and loved ones.  Can’t really do that on the base so much…but here at the house…especially when I’ve already put in like 10 hours today and the day is still young, lol.  Hope you are doing well.

Chuck is an old friend from way back and a connoisseur of fine coffee.  Miss you brother.  Stay safe.  Stay at home.

Now, back to the laughs.

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And yet another instance of where our younger campers may not get it.

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One of these days that’s going to happen around here… I just know it.

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And with that image planted firmly in your head to get you through till tomorrow, that will be the end for me for today.  Remember.  You can reach me at impishdragon@gmail.com …. I’m going to run out jokes and stuff pretty quick this way if you guys don’t send me stuff to pass on to the rest of you guys so we can all stay happy and sane while we are STAYING AT HOME!

But remember most of all.  You are loved.  You are cared for.  You are in someone’s heart.  And I got a pretty big heart!

Cheers! My brothers and sisters, until tomorrow when we’ll spend the day together again.

Impish Dragon

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1 Response to Dragon Laffs #1688–Day 3

  1. Leah D. says:

    Many of my family are working at home. My oldest granddaughter’s company moved her entire work station to her home. HOWEVER, they didn’t bring her chair! She is begging for an office chair. Since I’ve been thinking about getting a new one, I will buy one online, have it delivered to her apartment. When all of this MADNESS ends, I will take it, give her my old one.

    Utah had the best economy in the US, before this. Companies were begging for workers. Now, unemployment has jumped to 20,000!
    So all the old people, like me, are in quarantine. I keep thinking that for those grandkids, who still have to leave their house, go out in the middle of the virus to work, we should be keeping the great grandkids here, living with us… did I actually use the word thinking?

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