Good Morning Campers,

Today is Friday…it is currently 0700 hrs. and I am just now starting this weeks issue.  That ALONE ought to tell you what kind of week I’ve had.  It’s definitely been one for the record books.

Today is my first day off in two weeks, which means that it is going to be filled with honey-do stuff, hence the waking up early to work on this issue to get you guys some laughter.  It is one of the happiest …

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Mr. Dragon?  Mr. Lizard from the legal department asked me to remind you about the “thing”.  Now, I’m not sure I know what the “thing” is, but he did ask to me to remind you…

Yes, yes…Thanks, Miss Day.  As Miss Day was making reference to, I wish to make a public apology.  It seems I published an article I had no right to publish and just because I also published the link to the website didn’t give me permission to copy the article.  As was pointed out to me in a comment by the websites owner.  Seems I was looking at it incorrectly.  I always figured that having someone say what a great article it was and pointing out where the website was, would drive traffic and build you up. And that by sharing it you were helping a brother out.

Guess I was wrong.

And for being wrong, I humbly and most sincerely apologize. 

The article was deleted within ten minutes of me reading the comment.

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Mr. Dragon?  Mr. Lizard also said to remind you that this guy has more money than you do.

Miss Day, tell Larry that’s not hard, EVERYONE has more money than I do!  Now, can I get back to the issue, please?

Look Impish!  Don’t get all crappy with me, just because you’ve had a shitty week,, it’s not my —

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Sigh.

I think it’s time for some laughter, don’t you?

Your phone doesn’t autocorrect when you type in caps because it thinks you’re angry and it doesn’t want to get involved

And speaking of not getting involved …. have you guys been paying attention to what’s been going on in the People’s Republic of Virginia?  They are supposed to have a big pro gun rights rally on Monday and the Governor, Ralph Northam, a Democrat, is so worried and upset that he has declared a temporary state of emergency until Tuesday and has banned all firearms and other weapons from the grounds of the Capitol.

Now the people and the organizers of the event are fighting back saying that this restricts their rights.  Have you guys been following this craziness?  The governor tried to confiscate all the citizen’s guns in the state.  Even tried to get the National Guard involved to do so.  The citizens formed a state militia which not only allowed them to, but required them to be armed (they did this with the help of the local Sherriff’s Dept.)

Now, according to CNN (yeah, I know, I know, but it makes for fun reading) “Much of the concern here isn’t about the guns” (talking about the rally on Monday) “It’s about the extremists the event is likely to attract.  Northam said state intelligence officials identified threats and rhetoric used by violent groups and white nationalists in conversations about the event.  In fact, the FBI arrested three alleged white supremacists yesterday for firearms and immigration-related offenses, and found out the trio was planning to attend the rally.”

But, if you hadn’t tried to illegally take their guns, NONE of this wouldn’t be happening in the first place!!

Idiots.

We all know some people like that.

Normally. when I get a new funny pic, it goes in the file, at the end of the list and when it comes up in rotation, I use it…unless it’s truly hilarious…like this next one.  As the father of daughters, I have to say, this dad is one of the good ones.

I really and truly wish that we could have seen this boy’s face when he opened this picture. 

Yeah, something like that.

And those of you who remember back that far, it did.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators.

We haven’t met yet.

Here’s another one that is timely, that I just got, that cracked me up, so has to skip to the front of the line…and if you don’t get it, I’m not going to ‘splain it to you.

You’re not yourself today…

I noticed the improvement immediately.

When life gets you down and you feel you can’t go on, just remember who will always be there for you.

DISHES

They will literally always be there.

A POEM FOR MORNINGS

Coffee, coffee, coffee,
Coffee.
Coffee, coffee,
Everyone shut up.
Coffee.

The only thing that keeps me from being a genius is all the stupid shit I do.

I wish Santa would publish his naughty list.

What a great way to meet people.

If you don’t look back on your younger self and say, “I used to be stupid,” you’re probably still stupid.

Okay, in the interest of not being threatened again or told I don’t have enough money, let’s see if I can do this a better way.  Here is a REALLY good article sent to me by Stephanie that I’d like to share with you guys.

What “white privilege” means in small-town West Virginia

By Lloyd Marcus

December 29, 2019

And in case I screwed up and clicking on the title above does not take you to the article, here’s the link: http://www.renewamerica.com/columns/marcus/191229?fbclid=IwAR3b4za-J7-dk-p1K_J1Nt_wC4b_Zo2fp9U72UL9UbxAuUDpmigmgQc2DnI

I found it to be an excellent essay, a great read, and quite enjoyable.

Thanks Steph

Okay, so it’s turning into one of those issues.  I’d like to hear what you campers…guys and gals…have to say about this next one.

Relax, Libturds.  Trump didn’t “assassinate” Soleimani.
It was just one of those “post-birth abortions” you support.

I just had a physical.

The doctor said, “Don’t eat anything fatty.”

I said, Like bacon and burgers?”

He said, “No fatty, don’t eat anything!”

Wife: hey babe, can you get me th-

Husband: I can’t find it

How come “you’re a peach” is a compliment, but “you’re bananas” is an insult?

Why are we allowing fruit discrimination to tear society apart?

I got thrown out of my local park for lining up squirrels in order of height…. they didn’t like me critter sizing.

And if we could only get the Average American to appreciate your sacrifice and service we would be such an awesome country!

I know Facebook has never caused the lame to walk, but it sure has caused the dumb to speak.

The police came round last night and told me my dogs were chasing people on bikes.
My dogs don’t even have bikes.

Well, that my dear friend is that for this week.

Sorry, it’s not as long as it could be.

Love to you all.

Cheers.

Impish Dragon